"Welcome back," said Es. "Took you long enough."
"Ah, I apologize. I was b-"
"Do you know how boring it is without you here? It's a thousand times more boring than you think!" she exclaimed, an amount of anger present in her voice.
The Wanderer sighed. She had been gone for about a week. She had told Es she would be gone for a while. And Es had said: "Oh, that's alright. I'll await your return." Still, she supposed that being left alone for a while wasn't a great feeling for everyone. The Wanderer didn't mind solitude. Es obviously did. "I'm sorry, Es. I was delayed."
"By what?" she queried, still defensively hugging a book to her chest.
"By this," said the Wanderer, pointing to her bloodied arm, now in a sling. "I took a fall, and while I saved my face from impact, my arm was the cost. It'll be awhile before it heals."
Wide-eyed now, Es walked over to where the Wanderer was sitting. Now that she looked at the taller girl, she saw that she looked worse for wear than when she had left. Her skin was bruised in some places, and her signature cloak and hat looked worn. There might have been a new stitch line in the left sleeve. The Wanderer considered that she probably looked a bit fucked up. "Let me see it," she said, the anger somewhat leaving her voice. "You really should be more careful."
"I'll be fine, Es. I haven't died yet," said the Wanderer, cracking a smile. This smile became forced as Es unwrapped her left arm. Es took a sharp breath. "It looks worse than it is. Besides, I can manage."
"You're awfully confident, my Wanderer. I fear that, however slowly, it may end you someday," she said, rewrapping the Wanderer's wound.
The Wanderer said nothing to this, content to simply sit and wait for her to finish. Es was, without a doubt, one of the Wanderer's greatest discoveries. A friend in this often empty world. Leaning back and watching a blue butterfly flit about the library, she reminisced.
—
The Wanderer hopped down from the dark rock, seeing the area where the mountainside gave way. The drop was a bit steep, and the Wanderer had to roll near the end of her fall. Her palms were scuffed up. "I should really get some gloves", she sighed, massaging her hands. Moving closer to the entrance, it folded into the stone in the approximation of a circle. She couldn't see much in the mouth of the cave.
The Wanderer herself was a five-foot eleven-inch, pale-skinned girl in her mid-twenties. Her body was rather tall and lanky, but she had significant muscle given her constant exercise of climbing and running. Her eyes were a deep shade of red, and her hair was a long, not quite straight jet black mess. Her upper face contained many freckles, and her bridge of her nose had an arch-shaped scar over it. She wore a long, black trench coat-like jacket over a button-down white shirt tucked into khaki pants with black shoes at the end. Her prized possession was a beaten black pointy hat. She had found it while wandering. She loved it to bits.
The Wanderer also had several supplies. She had a rolled up set of maps tucked into long tubes on her back, along with a bedroll in the same spot. She had a messenger bag containing a set of rations, as well as many, many journals and sheets of paper. There were various other items on her person, either on her belt or in her pockets.
The Wanderer picked up a nearby stone, and tossed it into the passage. Eventually, the sound of collision was heard.
"Good. At least I'm not descending into a bottomless pit," she said aloud. At this moment, she felt something on her face, and saw a water droplet.
"I suppose I'd better head in then. It's starting to ra-" This was interrupted by a loud crack of thunder and lightning, and the heavens rupturing open to soak the poor woman.
Venturing into the entrance, soggy and coughing, she was surprised to find a doorway partway into the cave. The door itself was dark, likely of onyx. The handle was silver-colored, though the likelihood of it being actual silver was quite low. The frame of the door was of the same material. Running her hands over it, she attempted to appraise its age. It seemed to be nearly ancient. Her hands were now covered in dust.
"Now what is a bundle of secrets like you," she said, pulling out a journal and pen, "doing in a place like this?". She quickly scrawled a note about the door. She pulled on the handle, hearing the onyx grind against the metal. After a bit more exertion, the door was opened. Pointing the tip of her hat downward, she ventured through the door. As she did, a symbol of a blue butterfly lit up on it. "Door of the Butterfly, maybe? Naming things is difficult."
Now entering the interior, she saw black. It is difficult to describe it otherwise, as the walls and floor and even ceiling, save for some white detailing, were like staring into the heart of a black hole. The endless void of space. The Wanderer was intrigued. It had been a while since she had found anything interesting. Lighting a candle from her pack, she began to venture through the hall.
Eventually, she came to what she figured must be the end of the hallway. There was a large stone face. The leftmost half of the sculpture seemed to be a bearded man. The right was a woman. The Wanderer removed her hat and sat down to sketch. As she sat there, she felt voices speak in the back of her mind.
"I've been waiting for you. My lost child", said the voices. The more prominent of the two was a higher-pitched feminine voice. A deeper masculine one was underneath it. The Wanderer felt the voice seep into her spine. It was unsettling. She looked back to the sculpture. Its lips weren't moving. Or rather, their lips. Despite the mystical happenings before her, she had a brief thought of indignation. I'm no child, she thought.
"I am Ego Rex. I administer rules," said the voices, continuing on. At least the Wanderer had a name for them.
"What you will find, here with me… is you, yourself." Ego Rex's manner of speech was distracting. Everything was segmented, with the voices speaking almost in turn.
"Allow me to teach you. The ways of this place," said Ego Rex. The Wanderer collected her journal, candle, and pack, and rose to her feet. She placed her pointy hat back upon her head. A guide was not a usual occurrence when exploring. This was a nice change of pace.
"Very well, Ego Rex. I'd appreciate the guidance." As she said this, Ego Rex began to rumble, before the two halves of the face were pulled apart to the sound of grinding stone. Pebbles and dust flaked off of them as their faces were pulled into the walls. They seemed to disappear behind them. The Wanderer still heard their voices faintly in her mind.
"Shed your daily life. Your life of searching. Here, you shall contemplate. Here, you shall learn." Their voices, at this point, were overlapping somewhat.
"Listen to the whispers. Collect EGO. Walk these halls. Face Es when you are ready," said Ego Rex.
The Wanderer took a deep breath. This was odd, but intriguing. Who is Es? Another sculpture, perhaps? The Wanderer briefly considered turning around and heading back toward the exit, but this was too interesting to pass up. Besides, she had rations left. She could afford to stay awhile. She heard whispering. Who am I? Far too interesting.
—
"Well, look who showed up. I grew tired of waiting," said the short, brown haired girl. When Ego Rex had mentioned Es, this was not what the Wanderer had been expecting. The girl's hair was long and braided on one side, with bangs obscuring her forehead. She wore a purple jacket over a black shirt with gold lines in the middle, and a handkerchief near her neck. Her expression was devoid of any emotion. And she was holding a book. Damn. She's pretty, thought the Wanderer.
"Howdy!" she exclaimed, holding out a scuffed hand enthusiastically. "You must be Es. I-"
"Sorry, but I'll get right to the point. Take a seat," she said, gesturing to the chair across from her. The Wanderer frowned.
"I have twelve questions for you. Don't think too hard. Just answer honestly," the girl deadpanned, pulling out a sheet of paper and a pen. Rude, thought the Wanderer. Still, she complied.
The next ten minutes or so consisted of Es questioning the Wanderer. The questions weren't particularly difficult to answer, but they were certainly interesting. During the quiz, however, the Wanderer became more and more interested in Es herself. What was this girl doing here, anyway? And what was this library?
Es began to speak. "You seem to employ a Manic Defense."
"What do you mean?"
"You take an aggressive stance in order to hide weakness. You feel anxiety, but you turn it into scorn. You may experience depressive states in private, and bouts of manic feelings in public. Did that clear things up?" asked Es.
"Not particularly. It didn't reveal much I wasn't aware of," answered the Wanderer easily. Es cocked her head to one side.
"You don't know much, do you? Not about this place, or about who you are…" said Es, staring at the Wanderer.
"Are you calling me dumb?" She feigned offense. "I thought we were friends, Es."
Es cocked her head to one side, confused. "I've only just met you. Anyway, return to my room when you've gathered more EGO," she said, returning to her book.
"That's it? You don't want to talk anymore?" the Wanderer asked, to no avail. She sighed. "Alright, alright. I'll come back later. I have sketches to do anyway. See you around, Es."
"Oh," said Es, "there's also a bathroom and shower off of the library. Just thought you should know."
"I resent your implication. I smell of lavender and perfume! " She crossed her arms.
"Resent it all you want, Wanderer. You smell of day-old garbage." The Wanderer sighed. She knew Es was right. Es knew Es was right. But the Wanderer didn't particularly feel like admitting it.
—
Es didn't know how to feel about the Wanderer that had recently entered her life. Before that, she'd simply had that damnable Facade, and her books to keep her company. Now, she had an actual person.
'Rugged' was the first word to enter Es' mind upon seeing her. While talking to her, Es had noticed small details. The stitch lines in her dusty black coat. The wear and tear on her hat. The small scar across the bridge of her nose. The redness of her palms. She looked rugged, especially compared to Es' carefully groomed self. Es' clothes and body were freshly washed. The Wanderer's clothes smelled of what she assumed to be dirt and rain.
Her personality tests revealed a bit of her nature. She seemed to be easygoing. She always seemed relaxed, especially around Es. Her interpretation of the story of the prince went as follows:
"What is the Prince doing, here?" asked Es.
"Seems like he just got woken up or somethin," said the Wanderer, raising an eyebrow.
Es continued. "How does the King feel about this?"
"He's probably got his own issues. He's running a kingdom, after all. Great rulers aren't great parents and all that."
"Why is the maid hiding?"
"Ah! I didn't see her there. She's probably watching over the kid."
"And how does the story end?" Es asked, mildly interested in her answer.
"What?" The Wanderer seemed surprised.
"How does it end?"
"That's the whole story? I need more info, Es."
"That's all you get," Es deadpanned. "Use your imagination."
"I suppose the kid gets out of there and does his own thing eventually?"
"I see."
Es spoke with her a while longer. The story revealed that the Wanderer didn't seem to enjoy relying on others. She was determined and independent. Perhaps the opinions of others didn't affect her much.
Es discovered quickly that the Wanderer enjoyed talking about her discoveries. A lot. Es was content to listen, at least for a while. Es enjoyed seeing the taller girl genuinely excited about something. A lot of what she said was usually drenched in sarcasm and irony.
—
"You know, I think we should switch it up a bit", said Es. I did all of the talking last time. It's your turn. Talking to you helped me quite a bit," she said, patting the couch across from her.
The taller girl laughed, removing her hat and jacket and laying across the sofa. "Oh, doc, I don't know. There's just… this girl. She's so pretty and smart and God, I don't know what to do! Beautiful blue eyes and just… her face. The most deadpan face I've seen. Seriously, it's like her face is paralyzed or something. I've poked her before, and she calls me childish. Won't talk to me. Something about more EGO every time," she said, chuckling halfway through.
Es flushed. "Please, try to be serious. And please, don't mock me." Did she say I was pretty?
The Wanderer sighed. "Alright, alright, alright. Fine. I wasn't mocking you, by the way."
"I'm not sure there's much to say. I'm a Wanderer. I roam around. I'm happy as a clown, Es. I've got ruins to search and hearts to break. I go places, I learn what interests me, and then I leave, off to wander alone again. What's not to like?"
Despite her casual tone of voice, Es looked at her eyes. They were filled with an emotion she couldn't quite catch.
"I suppose there's the solitude, but it doesn't bother me too much. I've got some abrasive qualities, I have to admit. Folks and I just don't gel well for long," she continued, her gaze narrowing and her voice gaining a slightly bitter tone.
Es frowned. "You seem to have issues framing your problems in words. You know you can talk to me, right? It's what I'm here for."
The Wanderer's eyes widened back to normal again, and she shrugged. "I don't know what more you want me to say, doc. I'm pretty damn content with what I'm doing. I enjoy my work."
Es sighed in resignation. "If you say so. Just know that I'm here. Talking to others can help. Talking to you has helped me, anyway."
The Wanderer sat back up and tipped her hat. "Glad to be of service."
"I think… I'm close to an answer. If I can find it, well… I'll be alright. Come back to see me when you've got more EGO."
The Wanderer bowed dramatically. "I'll be thinking of you each moment we're apart, m'lady."
Es chuckled despite herself. "More EGO. Off you go, Wanderer."
As the Wanderer walked away, Es noticed a page drift out of her journal. Es picked up the yellowed paper, turning it over. It was… a drawing of her. The quality of the art was stunning, but so were the little details. Es had only ever seen herself through the broken mirrors in the records room. This picture was more complete. It made Es feel strangely warm. She held it close to her chest, before folding it and placing it in her pocket.
—
"And what makes you enjoy it so much?" asked Es, after a while. Normally, she would have told the Wanderer to get more EGO by now, but after the girl's failure to divulge anything during her sharing session, Es had decided to speak with her longer after the tests. That, and she wanted to spend more time with her.
"What? The wandering? There's so much shit to see!" began the Wanderer. She was about to talk for a while. "New, uncharted places with untapped resources? Odd buildings of civilizations past? Odd folks living in strange places? Like you."
Es huffed. "I'm not odd, Wanderer." Was she?
The Wanderer burst into laughter. Es crossed her arms and glared at the Wanderer, feeling her face heat up.
"Sorry, sorry. But you live in a magic library off of an infinite hallway with a talking sculpture and know every bit of literature that's been written. You're a bit odd, my friend." This caused Es to pause. 'Friend'. Was this friendship? Es supposed it might be. She'd read about it in books of course, but she'd never really had interaction with other people.
"Hey…" began Es, eyes looking away from the Wanderer.
The Wanderer, still grinning, noticed the change in her expression. She frowned. "What's up, Es?"
"Are we… friends?"
The Wanderer patted Es on the shoulder. "Yeah. I think we are. Assuming you'd like to be friends, that is?"
Es smiled. A rarity for her, she knew. "Yes. I would."
—
The Wanderer sighed. It was hard to keep track of time down here. The entrance had only passed by her once in her whole time here. Her rations, meant to last 30 days, had run out a while ago. Luckily, Es had a kitchen stocked with food. Still, that meant at least a month. Assuming she could correctly remember the day/night cycle. Damn it. She should've worn a timepiece.
As for the denizens of this place, there were only two. Ego Rex hardly spoke to the Wanderer anymore. She felt a natural distaste toward the Facade (a nickname given by Es). She wasn't sure why. Perhaps due to her own penchant for wandering the lawless places of the world. Conformity was a useful tool, but a society that conformed to an extreme was soulless. She laughed. Too serious. Lighten up, she thought.
As for Es? The Wanderer liked her. She was pleasant to look at, sure, but that wasn't the only reason. The Wanderer counted her among friends. She was smart as hell, for one. She understood all of those books way better than the Wanderer ever would. She also seemed to have a better understanding of the Wanderer than most. She herself had never felt comfortable staying in one place for long. Though she had been in her library for as long as she could remember, Es had expressed a desire to leave sometime.
The Wanderer felt at ease around her, as well. She had a calming presence, even if she didn't know it. Usually, the Wanderer would keep to herself, but Es genuinely interested in her discoveries. The Wanderer tried expressing interest in Es' books. Sometimes they were excellent. Sometimes, they were… very, very wordy. She wasn't a dumb person, but Es was much smarter. Mostly, though she appreciated Es' insight into them. She got passionate about what was in them, which made the taller girl feel warm. Seeing any amount of positive emotion in the shorter girl's face was a win in her book.
She worried a bit too much, though. The Wanderer was concerned. Though her job seemed to be helping the Wanderer discover herself (which, to be fair, she sort of did), she doubted herself quite a bit as well. She claimed to be dependent on the Wanderer's visits. The Wanderer felt bad for her. No, cared for her. As much as she was loathe to admit it, the deadpan girl had grown on her. She cared a lot for her.
Es often asked the Wanderer for answers. This put a bit of stress on her. My God, she thought. I could definitely say the wrong thing and accidentally ruin this poor girl's life.
So the Wanderer was honest. In her experience getting high off snuff and talking with strangers over campfires, that was usually for the best.
"There are never any easy answers, Es."
"But if I'm looking for my true self, would those selves in my nightmares be them?" She was wide-eyed. The Wanderer thought she looked on the verge of tears, despite her lack of expression.
She sighed, putting a hand on Es' arm. "I'm sorry, Es. But that's for you to decide. Sometimes, you'll have to decide which 'self' you're gonna be. You can ask other folks about it all you want. But in the end, it's up to you to define yourself."
Es took a deep breath. "Define… myself? Like those books that change endings?"
The Wanderer squeezed her arm. "Exactly like that. You said the future is determined by my will. But that's a lie. My future is. But yours? That's for you to decide."
Es began to breathe deeply again. They sat in silence for a while.
"Hey, Wanderer. There's a story I want to read. But… I'm scared of finishing it. Would you… read it with me?"
The Wanderer sensed her real question. "Of course."
"T-there are two characters in this… story. A girl, and a Wanderer. The girl is meant to ask the Wanderer who they are, and what defines the world. But the girl doesn't realize that… she herself is also a Wanderer. A Wanderer of self."
The Wanderer nods. "Go on, Es."
"As she talks to the Wanderer, she realizes that she doesn't know much at all. She knows her little world, and her library. But she doesn't know herself. Not truly. And… I don't know what happens next."
Es looked at the Wanderer. "H-how do you think it ends?"
The Wanderer looked back at her. She paused for several seconds. "The girl continues searching for herself. Her journey will be long, but she'll continue."
Es smiled broadly, before embracing the taller girl. She felt a warmth in her. She smiled as well. "It'll be tough, but I'll keep searching. And I hope you do too."
"I will, Es."
The Wanderer cared so damn much for her at this
They stayed like that for a while. It was nice.
—
After this event, the two of them would go on to talk further. The Wanderer would keep coming to see her every day. They'd talk about meaningless things into the late hours of the morning. The Wanderer eventually found out that in order to leave quickly, one could simply follow the butterflies in the hallway to the exit. She began to occasionally leave for a few days at a time. She always came back with a new story to tell Es. Es would listen contentedly. She felt warm when the Wanderer spoke so passionately about her adventures.
Es, after a bit of encouragement, would get her friend to read the books she suggested. The taller girl admitted that they were good distractions while wandering the wastes of the world outside. They had some discussions about them as well, with Es having to explain the meaning of certain parts of the book to the Wanderer. Es would sometimes look back at her friend to see if she was listening. The Wanderer was always giving her full attention, which surprised Es. It made her happy. To know that her friend appreciated her insight that much.
And this would continue for some time. Until one day, an invitation was given.
—
"Are you nearly finished, m'lady?" asked the Wanderer bemusedly.
"You did a piss poor job wrapping your wound. You should be glad I'm here to help," said Es, finishing up the bandages.
"Have you ever considered the reason the job was so piss poor was so that I'd get to sit here and stare at you for an hour?"
Es flushed immediately at this. "You're still childish. Wipe that smug grin off of your face."
The Wanderer was glad to see Es again. Aside from some rather unpleasant creatures, there hadn't been much on this excursion. However, she had been considering something for a while now.
The Wanderer had felt her wanderlust returning. Though she was content with her life right now, there was an itch in the back of her mind that going on short expeditions wouldn't scratch forever. She'd mapped out the whole nearby area. She'd updated her bestiary with regional variants of some animals, including the glowing butterflies. She'd pored over the letters in the records room of this place. She'd spoken with Ego Rex about it, as much as they were willing to divulge. She'd gotten everything she could out of being here. All that was left was Es.
She had considered asking Es before. It had crossed her mind. But something had stopped her. She wasn't a lone Wanderer entirely by choice. She was too sarcastic, for one. It was hard to take her seriously sometimes. She made light of others' issues at the wrong times. Es was okay with that. Es appreciated her visits. She didn't want to lose that.
But she had to ask.
"Hey, Es?" she started, looking up at the brown-haired girl.
"Mmm?"
"I was thinking… I'm a Wanderer, right? And I scour the world for ruins and secrets. But I've been in this area for some time. The Hall of Inquiry is fascinating, but I'm not sure how many more secrets there are here," she said quickly.
"I come back because…" She sighed. "I care for you, Es. More than I'd like to admit."
"And I care for you as well," said Es, shocked at the taller girl's genuine affection. "If you've got something to ask, you know you can ask me."
"I'm… asking you to come with me. In my wanderings. Walk around the world with me. Find out what it's like. I mean, you've never been outside of the Hall, so, it might be a new experience for you?" She was speaking very quickly now.
This was a side of her that Es hadn't seen yet. She was nervous. She was nervous about Es' answer. She didn't want to lose her, but she had to go and explore.
—
Es remained silent for a long time, before smiling.
"I'd love to come with you! I had considered asking you about it, but I figured you didn't want someone as inexperienced as me intruding on your lore hunts. That, and I've decided that, in my journey for self-discovery, I ought to experience more of the world outside of here. So yes, I'd love to follow you wherever you end up going."
The Wanderer sighed in relief. She sat up. "I'm glad you want to. I didn't want to… I didn't want…" she trailed off. "I-I enjoy your company. It's a bit dangerous, but I'll help you."
The taller girl pulled out a fresh journal. "I always make a new journal for when I start a new leg of my journey. This will be one of them, for sure."
She signed the book. "The Journey of Es and Aerith! It's official."
Es cocked her head to the side. "Who?"
The taller girl laughed, before looking at Es. She was serious. She and Es had the same realization at roughly the same time.
Es flushed immediately.
"Oh my God," said Aerith, wheezing. "You never asked me my name!"
"A-And you never told me!"
"Oh my fucking God, I'm dying. Es please," she said through cackles.
"Shut up and help me get ready to go, Aerith," said Es, trying to save face. "You should have told me."
"Es, darling, you're the best."
As she finally stopped laughing, they eventually went to prepare Es for travel.
Aerith, thought Es. What a pretty name.