Afternoon Delight

Armitage Hux whistles as he stores away his foam mat in the storage closet. He pauses and looks between the kitchen and the door to his room. He feels peckish, but then he looks down at his loose clothes. Sweat stains his navy tank top and black sweatpants. His nose wrinkles at the whiff of onion and salt. His stomach can wait; hygiene comes first.

The door slides open and the lights are already on.

"K-Kylo?"

Kylo Ren, Lord of the Knights of Ren and his dreadful co-commander, lounges on his bed utterly nude. Muscle, hard and unyielding, adorn this pale, nearly smooth body. Blackness make for thick locks on his head, while lighter tufts connect his navel to his crotch. Dozens of tiny beauty marks haphazardly dot his young body. A smug smile lies beneath his large, handsome nose.

"Hux," Kylo purrs like a tomcat in heat. "Lord Vader gave me a solution to our feud. One that wouldn't end with us killing each other."

Hux looks twice at Kylo's cock, violently erect, before settling on Kylo's nose.

"Fuck me, Hux."

Hux hears screaming. He knows it's not from Kylo, his large lips are still curled up, and he knows it's not from himself. Or maybe it is. The other generals said that their minds would snap if they had to deal with Kylo on a daily basis like he does. It only took two years for it to happen.

"I did prepare myself before coming here." Kylo rolls onto his stomach and wiggles his bum. "See for yourself."

Hux drags himself, half-paralyzed and morbidly curious, to the end of the bed. He's never paid much attention to Kylo's rump, or anyone's rump really, out of basic decency. There's several beauty marks, almost like a constellation, connecting both cheeks. It takes him a deep breath for him to look between the cheeks. He sees a clear trail of lubricant leaking out of the rosebud.

"I need to shower." Hux exhales and nearly runs into his 'fresher. He locks it and divests himself of his workout clothes. He tosses the dirty garments into the wicker basket. The shower comes alive with a twist of the knob, and he waits for the water to warm up.

"I can give you a blowjob." Kylo calls from beyond the locked door. Hux hops right into the shower and delights in the chill.

When he finishes his brisk shower, he dons his black shimmersilk robe and matching pants, but his pink feet are left bare. The cold will keep him grounded. Kylo is still there, but at least his strong, long legs are crossed.

"Do you delight in delayed gratification? A little warning would've been nice." He grouses, and Hux relaxes at this normalcy.

"I spent the last hour and a half doing hot yoga."

"You do yoga?" Kylo scoffs. Hux has to count backwards from ten in Yuuzhan Vong to keep himself from strangling the younger man.

"I teach it once a week. It's one of my programs to have the military and non-military personnel comingle voluntarily in a safe enviroment."

"How have I've never heard of this?"

"It's part of the weekly briefing."

"Hux, there's briefings every day."

"Those are the daily briefings. The weekly briefings are about what happened in that week. Out of all the briefings, you should at least pay attention to that one."

"And why should I concern myself with the trivial matters of Force-nulls?"

"Then, why are you here?" Hux voices that frustration long festering inside of him ever since he found out how destructive and childish his co-commander is.

Why do I have to endure this man, no, this child? He may be Vader's grandson, but he commands none of his experience or skills. Though he's got all of his ginger fetish.

"For you to fuck me, Hux." Kylo goes back onto his back, but he blessedly keeps his legs crossed.

"I don't love you."

"What does love have to do with this?" Kylo pouts like a bored plaything.

"I will not have sex with someone I don't love."

"I never figured you for a romantic." Kylo's pout edges towards a sneer.

"There's a lot that you don't know about me." Nor does the First Order, not even Sloane, knows my full story.

"Well since penetration is out, would you like a blowjob?" Kylo throws out there with a hint of desperation.

"You already asked me that."

"I didn't get an answer."

"No."

"Handjob?"

"No!"

"Rim–"

"Look, I don't want any jobs from you. What were Vader's exact words to you?"

Kylo frowns and knits his dark brows together like he's trying to recall an obscure passage from a forgotten tome.

"These violent delights have violent ends / And in their triumph die, like fire and powder, / Which as they kiss consume: the sweetest honey / Is loathsome in his own deliciousness / And in the taste confounds the appetite: / Therefore love moderately; long love doth so; / Too swift arrives as tardy as too slow."

"Kylo, that's from a movie, which was based upon a play. I don't think that was your grandfather speaking to you since Vader never struck me as the theater-going type." I bet even when Palpatine dragged him to the opera Vader only paid attention to him.

"Please, he probably picked that up from Palpatine considering that man's addiction to opera." Kylo wears a confident smirk, and Hux decides that it would be best to just move on.

"How did you come to the conclusion: I should get banged by Hux?"

"Um, it all sounded sexual like most poetry." Kylo weakly gives.

"The friar was trying to tell the two teenagers about to secretly marry each other that their intense feelings are going to end in tragedy. Unless they actually take the time to get to know each other if they want their hasty union to last."

"Why were they getting married in secret? Aside from the fact that they were teenagers."

"Because their families hated each other. The friar married them because he hoped that their marriage will bring peace. It didn't, but their suicides actually did the trick."

"So how does any of that relate to us?"

"I think your grandfather was trying to get across is that you shouldn't let your volatile feelings for me get the better of you. Although, he probably should've suggested a way for you to work out your aggression. Like getting a hobby."

"I already sew."

Hux blinks several times, wondering if Kylo is messing with him, but Kylo has a serious look in his dark eyes.

"Oh, um, that's nice to know. Maybe something more physical?"

"Like hot yoga?" Kylo perks up along with another body part that Hux would prefer not to.

"The hot yoga class is a safe space for everyone, so you wouldn't be allowed in it." Hux feels slightly nervous at Kylo's sly grin.

"How about some private lessons?"

Hux takes off his bathrobe, earning a heated look for a moment that turns into curiosity at his burnt left arm, and then he throws it right over Kylo's face.

"Sure, but only with clothes on."

Darth Sidious sighs into his draught of wine as his grandson repeats his own mistake: trusting a Skywalker. He thought by giving the Skywalker failure purposely cryptic advice for years would eventually lead to the lad's death.

Alas, no.

The whelp just used his advice as an excuse to get into Armitage's bed. Even Anakin had enough shame not to expose himself.

Sidious puts the wine down and makes the arrangements for his soul transfer far earlier than planned and with an entirely different vessel in mind.

It's all for Armitage.

Author's Comments- There are no links this time.

Yeah, this idea was jangling around in my head for quite a while, so I thought it would be best to just write it out. Granted, the ending probably killed whatever good note there was, but, let's face it, there's no way in the Seven Sith Hells would Palpatine let his grandson (because in all my stories Armitage Hux is Palpatine's grandson via Triclops/Rama getting knocked up by Brendol Hux) end up with Kylo. And, hey, I got to incorporate some of the RoS "canon" into this.

I think my next one-shot will be dealing with Palpatine possessing Rey's body and posing as Hux's little sister so he can protect his grandson without violating his free will. Well, kind of.