The buzz of the crowd ebbed and flowed in anticipation. The nearly blank stage only housed the hint of a small bedroom. A twin bed with end tables, one slightly off set, was illuminated by blue light, while screens reflected graphics from a computer. Blaine could feel the excitement of the audience as he nervously alternated between flipping through his program and taking in the space around him. He loved the anticipation of a show about to begin, sometimes he missed it more than he did the adrenaline of being on the stage. He was just glad that he could still enjoy the thrill on this side of the curtain.
The lights began to dim around him and a hush fell over the crowd. There was the sound of a cell phone ringing followed by a cacophony of voices filling the area around him. The lights came up and on the bed was now a boy in a blue striped shirt sat on the bed. His anxiety filled monologue began and his nervousness was palpable. As Blaine sat watching him interact with his mom, it reminded him so much of the kids in his group back home.
The first song began and Blaine became lost in the lives of the people on stage. He knew these people. He knew parents just like the ones up there, feeling so lost but wanting so desperately to help their kids, he knew the kids were so lonely yet, trying to act like they weren't. The young man, Evan, he was so real, his nervous tics and mannerisms so true to life Blaine couldn't help but be drawn in. He couldn't help but cringe as Evan was called a freak and pushed violently to the ground, the lights shifting to blue. And then he opened his mouth to sing.
If Blaine thought he was mesmerized before, it was nothing compared to listening to the man sing before him, so desperate and lonely it brought tears to Blaine's eyes. He couldn't help but hold his breath. His heart aching as Evan sang out in anguish, his voice expertly vacillating, his movements matching.
Blaine sat through the first act watching as Evan entrenched himself more and more in his web of lies. The show was funny and heart wrenching at the same time. Tears filled Blaine's eyes and he didn't stop them from falling as the act drew to a dramatic close with "You Will Be Found." The music seemed to drill into his chest, shaking him to the core. His brain seemed to go into overload with the mixture of images and sounds and emotions bombarding him in the most exquisite way. It ended so abruptly Blaine almost felt like he had to gasp for breath. And with a kiss and a few final notes the stage went dark.
Blaine couldn't move for a moment as applause rang around him. He just sat staring at the stage as the audience began to move. A young woman pushed her way by him and the spell was broken. He flipped through his program until he found the cast bios. The one he was looking for was right at the very top.
Kurt Hummel- Evan Hansen
Kurt is honored to be sharing Evan with audiences across the country. Broadway: Book of Mormon (Ensemble, McKinley u/s) Aladdin (Ensemble) NYC/Regional favorites: 25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee, Hairspray. New York Academy of Dramatic Arts MT Honors. Thanks Dad and Carroll for everything. In Memory of Mom and Finn.
By the time the show ended Blaine's face was once again wet with tears. Seeing Evan grow more confident on stage, his mannerisms reflecting the change, only to lose everything once more was excruciating to watch when everything in Blaine screamed for him to help. It was like watching one of his group kids spiraling out of control. He held it together until "So Big, So Small", but seeing Evan looking so small in his mother's arms pushed him over the edge and he let the tears fall freely. The sniffling sounds around him let Blaine know he was not alone. He stood with the rest of the audience as they applauded their appreciation to the cast. When Evan, Kurt, came out Blaine's hands began to ache he was clapping so hard for the extraordinary talent the man had displayed on stage.
As he was walking out of the theatre, Blaine noticed a small crowd growing around a door on the far side of the building. A sudden urge came over him and he changed his course to join them. Blaine was never one to stage door. He understood that the actors were just people. At one point in time, Blaine had toyed with fantasies of being on stage, of being a full time working actor. He was happy with his choice now, he felt he was doing what he was meant to do. He was making a difference. He felt the need to let Kurt Hummel know he was making a difference too.
Blaine stood back as the crowd of mostly teenagers welcomed the cast as they trickled out looking tired but pleased. Pictures were snapped and autographs signed. Every time the door opened heads would turn. It seemed Blaine wasn't the only one waiting for Evan to emerge. Finally a cheer rose up from the crowd as the door revealed the man Blaine had been waiting to see. He waited patiently as Mr. Hummel signed, chatted and took selfies with those waiting. The crowd was dwindling and still Blaine stood back and watched the interactions around him. It wasn't until Kurt turned around ready to head back into the theatre that he took his chance.
"Mr. Hummel," He called to the retreating figure, who turned around looking surprised.
"Mr. Hummel? I don't think anyone has ever called me that before." He smiled.
The contrast between the character Blaine had just spent two hours watching him play and the man that stood before him was huge. Kurt held himself with confidence, if not a little weariness, that his character even at his best lacked. His smile was soft and genuine as he waited for Blaine to say something.
"I just wanted to say that that was the most powerful performance I have ever seen. Thank you so much for portraying mental health struggles in such a true and compassionate way. I know a lot of kids that could benefit from seeing a show like this, so thank you."
Blaine could feel his face heating up as he spoke. It wasn't exactly what he wanted to say but he felt flustered standing there with the small crowd around him and Kurt looking at him. Kurt pressed his hand against his chest and huffed a breath, his smile soft.
"Wow, thank you so much. That… that is probably the best compliment I have gotten. I'm glad you enjoyed the show."
He reached down and took Blaine's program from his hand and hastily scrawled his autograph across the top.
"Thanks for coming to the show. Have a great night, you made mine." he said as he handed the program back to Blaine.
Blaine felt a little deflated as Kurt turned around and headed back inside the theatre. He looked down at the program in his hand. Thanks for making the world a brighter place- Kurt Hummel. Blaine smiled and began to walk across the parking lot to his rental car.
Maybe, he thought, Coming back to Ohio wasn't such a bad idea after all.