It's only 9:30 and the night is already a bust.
Mary drinks club soda and grenadine and asks her every five minutes if she's ready to go. Hermione knocks back another cranberry vodka and ignores her friend, scouting the crowd for the host.
She finally catches sight of Hiram as he darts through the den, something frantic in his eyes. Already plastered, she assumes. Horrible form, getting piss drunk at your own party. She shoves her empty cup into Mary's chest and jumps in front of Hiram before he can disappear again.
"Well, well, well." She crosses her arms and looks Hiram in the eye, her too-high high heels nearly closing the height gap between them. "If it isn't our elusive host."
Closer examination of Hiram and she sees he's not drunk. His hair is messy and his eyes are slightly red. Stoned perhaps, but not drunk. She pokes him in the chest and he comes to a halt.
"Hermione, I'm -"
"I do not want to hear that you're sorry." She draws the word out and gives him another poke but he doesn't notice. His eyes travel the room. "I had other things I could have been doing tonight," she lies. "Could have went to a college party with my sister. But told her I'd rather come here and spend the night with -"
"I'm busy." Hiram shoves between her and Mary and takes off through the room. Hermione feels her eye twitch. Mary places a hand on her shoulder - she senses she's about to run - but shoves her off and goes after Hiram, heels clacking on the marble floor.
"You're busy?" her voice raises when they get to the kitchen. A few people turn to look at her but the music is loud and most just go about their drinking. Hiram glances over his shoulder and grits his teeth, but plows on. She almost recoils at his look but the vodka's gone straight to her head and her blood feels like it's just shy of boiling. "You're being a terrible host and quite frankly," she raises her voice so she's heard above the music, "this party blows!"
Hiram spins around. There's no anger in him, not even annoyance. Just something manic and unfamiliar and it worries her.
"So go home," he says simply. There's a few snickers from around the room and one long hoot that might be Marty Mantle, but most just turn back to their drinks, their conversations, their dancing to the Prince song belting out of the speaker system. Hiram takes off again, darting between people and turning his head left and right.
She looks to Mary who just shrugs. Her friend's mouth opens but Hermione cuts her off with a "Don't you dare ask me if I want to leave again. Come on!"
They follow the path Hiram's left in his wake, cutting through the crowd before people shift again and she loses him. When they finally catch up to him outside the downstairs guest bathroom, he seems genuinely surprised she hasn't stormed off in a huff.
"I haven't seen Fred," the next person on line tells him and Hiram nods curtly and turns on Hermione again. He regards her carefully, but that manic is still easy to read on his face. On closer inspection, she thinks the red eyes look more like someone who's been crying.
"Hermione, I -" he runs a hand through his well groomed hair, ruining the gel that was holding it in place. "I don't have time right now. It's probably better if you just leave. I'll explain another day."
"Another day?" she scoffs. Mary goes to hiss something in her ear but she shrugs her off. "Hiram Lodge, you do not throw a party and ignore people. You don't ignore me! And what the hell are you looking for Fred for when I am right here!"
"There are more important things than just you!" he snaps. Anger flashes behind his eyes but it's gone an instant. His voice drops. "God, you know if I'm not paying you any mind there has to be a good reason, right? So just back off or go home or something and let me deal with this."
"Deal with what?" She's angry and she can't quite place why but the booze has made her hot and her dress is sticking to her back and she's about ready to rip the head off the next sophomore who looks at her too long. "Your beef with Fred Andrews primarily centers around me so if it's him you want to see right now and not me -"
"Everything isn't about you!" Hiram's breathing heavy and his eyes are wide and red and when Mary squeezes her shoulder again, she doesn't brush her off.
"Hiram," Mary starts slowly, "is everything alright?" His eyes go right to the ceiling and he shakes his head quickly. "Can we help?"
His mouth falls slack but he gives her a quick nod and juts his head for them to follow him. They run back through the foyer to the front stairs and pass the immaculate nine foot Christmas tree along the way, still in its full glory even a week after the holiday. There's a nativity scene set up in the other corner of the room and Hermione resists the urge to yell at the juniors poking at the wise men dolls. Hiram takes the stairs two at a time, jumping over a few couples making out along the way, and leads them to the guest room next to his own bedroom.
The bed sheets are disheveled and Hermione feels a pang of jealousy come and go. Surely he didn't have another girl up here and, even if he did, she had no right to be jealous when -
The door to the en suite opens and Hermione holds her breath, mentally preparing for Jessica or Susie or another of her Vixens to come out, but it's only FP and that's somehow worse.
"I told you to find Fred," he snaps, "not kidnap Hermione as bait. Can't you do anything right?"
"Me?" Hiram looks insulted. "You're the reason -"
"I didn't -"
"Hey!" Mary interrupts. "What's happening?"
FP begrudgingly opens the bathroom door the rest of the way and lets the group inside, bracing himself for an outburst. Mary gasps at her side before she even gets a good look at what's going on.
Hal lies in the bathtub, somewhere long past a little bit drunk. His shoes and sweater are on the floor, along with a few personal things that seem to have fallen out of his pockets.
"Why is he wet?" is all Mary gets out. She rushes to the side of the tub and grabs Hal's face. Hermione takes a towel from the untouched pile on the counter and joins her.
"We - we thought maybe we'd like -" FP stammers. "Cold water, wake him up?"
"I thought it was a bad idea!" Hiram bursts out. "Everyone knows -"
"Everyone knows you don't dump cold water on an unconscious person!" Mary's voice is full of venom, but you'd never know from the light way she pats Hal's hair with the towel. "The shock can kill them. I swear, I expect something this dumb out of Fred but -"
"What were you even looking for Fred for?" Hermione asks. She lingers somewhere between the two groups. Playing Florence Nightingale didn't come easy to her like it did to Mary, so she opts for crossing her arms and getting the facts. "Did he play some part in this as well?"
"No, Freddie is just good dealing with drunk people." FP feels around his shirt for a pack of cigarettes but repockets them after a look from Hiram. "And dealing with Hal. Unlike some people."
"This is your fault!" Hiram jabs FP hard in the chest. FP may have a good few inches on him, but Hiram doesn't seem to care. "You're not capable of babysitting him for ten minutes?"
"Babysitting?" FP hoots. "I am not babysitting anyone -"
"What happened?" Hermione's voice echoes off the tiled walls and behind her she hears Hal stir, but his eyes don't open. Mary lifts his eyelid.
Hiram and FP exchange a look Hermione doesn't care for. Both their mouths fall slack. FP raises an eyebrow and Hiram shrugs and FP finally talks.
"Hal didn't want to come to the party. Hiram asked me to make sure he came so Freddie and I gave him a lift. Maybe he was a little sad, talking about," FP rolls his eyes, "you know who."
"Alice?"
Hiram grunts. "Don't. We're not using the A word in front of him right now."
"Alice!" Mary says sternly in Hal's face. "Alice!"
"Cool it, Mare." FP insists. "You don't want to get him started."
"I want to wake him up!" Mary's voice is on edge as she turns back around. "Have you considered we may need to call someone? I don't like this."
"No no no." Hiram falls on the floor next to Mary, his knees landing right in a puddle from the shower. He doesn't seem to notice. "We call an ambulance or his parents and we are all royally fucked. Please."
Hermione purses her lips, knowing Hiram means he'd be fucked if anyone found out about this. It was his party after all. She snaps her finger at FP. "Keep talking."
He shrugs, looking at the ceiling. "I just - we - we took it upon ourselves to make sure he was having a good time. Got him some drinks."
"Just alcohol, FP?" Mary stands, her sleeves damp and sweat on her brow, and stares down the boy. "I have a feeling you guys gave him something else too."
Hiram shakes his head repeatedly as he half crawls into the tub with Hal and FP gives Mary a cool look. "I didn't do anything, Mary. He ran off with a bottle of whiskey and when we found him," he gestures to the mess in the tub, "he was like this, okay?" He takes a few steps out of the doorway so he's closer to the girls and lowers his voice. "Look, I get he's sad Alice is MIA, but if we all keep babying him -"
Hermione blows a strand of hair away from her mouth as she laughs. "Alice has been missing for over two months. Why is -"
"Alice?" Hal mutters from the bathtub and all four jump. Hiram crawls the rest of the way into the wet tub and grabs the front of Hal's shirt.
"Hey, Hal? Hal?" He shakes him and Mary rushes back, prying Hiram's hands off him. "You hear me, Hal? You okay, Hal?"
"Do you remember your name, Hal?" FP mutters with a scowl.
Hal's right eye cracks open. "I don't like this feeling."
"He has to puke, right?" Hiram looks to other three in turn. "Like get it all out? Just like getting your stomach pumped."
"Hiram!" Mary clicks her teeth. "I think he need his stomach pumped for real. We need to call -"
"We're not calling an ambulance, Mary! Jesus." Hiram looks on the verge of tears. "We call and -"
"And you'll have to take the fall," Hermione sighs. She's been disappointed enough tonight, what was one more thing?
Hiram shoots her a look so dirty she almost thinks Fred must be standing at her shoulder. "No, Hermione. I don't really give a fuck if I get in trouble for throwing a party or letting my underage friends drink. What I do care about is Hal getting in more trouble with his parents." He climbs out of the tub and she tries not to laugh when he nearly slips. "Ever since Alice joined the circus or wherever she is, he's been a mess and in the doghouse with his parents. God, the only reason he was even able to get out tonight is because his parents are celebrating New Years at church or whatever and he could get out for a few hours, which," he purses his lips, "I guess I shouldn't have pushed him to do. So yeah, forgive me if I don't want my friend sent off to military school or something because I pushed him into doing something stupid and he over did it."
Hermione's mouth falls open somewhere in the middle of his outburst, but nothing comes out. Hiram softens when he sees how taken back she is, but before he can say another word, Hal grumbles, "Who's going to military school?
"Hal." Mary speaks clear and loud, hardly an inch from his face. "Did you take anything tonight? A pill? A tablet? Maybe a dissolvable strip? Did you smoke something? Like in the form of a cigarette or a pipe or -"
Hal nods his head, put shuts his eyes tighter. "I don't want to hurl, Mary."
"Do you need to?"
He groans and covers his face with his hands.
Hiram swallows a lump in his throat and recoils when Hermione lays a hand on him.
"I - I have an idea who we can call." Hiram's eyes widen but she gives him a squeeze. "Hal's sister, Gerturde - she's at my house right now. She and my sister were supposed to go to a party but they decided to stay in and watch Alice in Chains on MTV tonight."
"Alice?" Hal mutters and the other four shush him.
"Where's the nearest phone?" she asks.
Hiram takes her to his room and her older sister Terry answers on the third ring, seemingly disappointed it's only Hermione and not a gentleman caller she had been waiting for. When she asks to speak to Gerturde, the phone is snatched in an instant and an impatient Cooper listens to her story.
"Be there in five. Do not let him out of your sight." Gerturde hangs up without another word and she can just see the two of them scrambling to the car to play big sisters to the rescue. It suited them both well.
"Thanks." Hiram sits on his bed, eyes fixated on the ceiling. "Really, Hermione. I owe you."
"You don't owe me anything." She sits next to him and smooths the hem of her new dress. Hiram's pants are still wet from sitting in the tub. "I'm - I'm sorry actually. What I said about you only trying to protect yourself. You're a good friend."
Hiram shakes his head. "If I was a good friend I wouldn't have left him alone with FP. I should have just babysat him myself."
She takes his hand and the two of them sit there for thirty seconds or thirty minutes, she can't quite tell. They only get up when they hear voices going past the door and just catch sight of Gertrude and Terry heading into the guest room. By the time they catch up to them, Gertrude's taken Mary's place on the floor, but her tone couldn't be more different.
"Harold Lewis Cooper, you get up and get your ass to the car or else I'll tell Mom everything."
Hal opens his eyes, finding nothing odd about his sister suddenly appearing in his friend's spare bathroom. "I don't want to puke, Gertie. Don't make me."
"My god." She tugs at one of his arms and lets go, spinning on the rest of the crowd. "Why the hell is he wet?"
It takes ten minutes and much maneuvering by Hiram and FP but they somehow get Hal down the stairs and into the backseat of Terry's car. Hermione slips in beside Hal and gestures for him to lay his head on her lap. Under the supervision of their older sisters - and Hiram's admirable gaze - she suddenly feels more confident and nurturing. Gertrude tries shutting the door, but Hiram grabs it from her..
"You're leaving," he says solemnly, but there's no pleading in his voice for her to stay.
"One of us should stay with him." He nods because he gets it and knows they've both done something selfless today. Something selfless for a boy who probably wouldn't remember it in the morning, but something selfless all the same.
Before he closes the door - she can feel Terry revving the engine impatiently as Gertrude glares at them - Hermione blurts out, "Lets go on a date tomorrow night."
"Give me a break," Gertrude mutters. Hiram nods.
"And call me at midnight if you can!" she calls through the closed window as they pull away. "I'll blow you a kiss!"
"Corny," Hal groans in her lap a minute later. "I can't believe you just said that."
Hermione sneaks a look at Gertrude and flicks Hal in the head when she's not looking. His eyes pop right open. "I just saved your ass, Coop, don't be ungrateful. I am a good friend."
"Uh huh," Hal's eyes close again and she almost hears regular Hal seeping back in behind the booze and whatever else he had in his system. "I'm a good friend too. I think I just got Hiram a girlfriend."
"Shut up," Hermione mutters, but there is a smile her lips for the rest of the ride to Elm Street.