Ninjago Version 3.0
Summary: When Garmadon joked about a third Kai, he really had been just joking. Because this is getting ridiculous. Crossover between My Dad is Bad but still Family! and The Grass is Always Greener series. Joint fic: Triple the Ninja, Triple the Fun, by Sunny Lighter.
~~ Two Plus One ~~
La-Loyd had been riding his new beautiful kitty, Meowthra, when suddenly things around them seemed to shimmer, like they were stepping through a portal, and suddenly they were... in a front of a monastery? Or was it a tea shop?
"Luh-Loyd! There you are!" shouted... Kai? "We're just getting started!"
La-Loyd looked around in bewilderment. There seemed to be two of each of his friends, two Uncle Wus, his mom, an old lady, an old man, a kid that looked like himself seven or eight years ago, and... his dad?! All setting up what looked like a giant picnic lunch in the courtyard in front of the monastery (and tea shop?).
What the FSM?!
Meowthra purred and shifted to force La-Loyd to slide down her shoulder. Looking extremely satisfied with herself, she tried to nudge him forward with her nose.
Everyone watched in bewilderment as Lloyd tried to scramble backwards and back up his giant cat, only to be delicately picked up and pushed forward again. Something was definitely wrong, and they were beginning to get worried when -.
Flash. Thump.
And suddenly there were two Meowthras.
"Hey, guys! Sorry I'm late. What'd I miss?"
The first Meowthra, looking extremely satisfied with this turn of events, picked up her La-Loyd and plopped him down practically on top of one of the red colored boys. Buddy Kai scrambled to catch, Lloyd? another Lloyd?, out of reflex.
And then La-Loyd watched in horror as his cat flicked her tail and wandered off. And someone who was practically identical to himself, just in a full Ninja gi with the hood down, slid down off his own Meowthra, and that one ran off to play with the first one.
Buddy helped a suddenly shaking and clearly terrified Lloyd to his feet. Suddenly he was surrounded by knowing looks of pity.
"Are you in a hurry to get anywhere?" asked... himself? compassionately. "Since our rides don't look ready to leave any time soon."
And the two kitties were having a great ol' time, which would be adorable if not for the destruction being caused by their wrestling and chasing each other. Dozens of trees, smashed to pieces in the blink of an eye. And no one, well, blinked an eye.
"Um, no..." whispered La-Loyd, pulling up his hood and trying to shrink into invisibility to escape all these eyes. He hadn't meant to whisper, but it just came out that way.
His, uh, himself? The other Lloyd? patted his shoulder comfortingly.
"Your first time visiting an alternate Ninjago? Sorry about that. It can be disorienting, but I promise everything'll be fine. And it looks like your Meowthra knows what she's doing, so she'll take you home when she's ready. Come join us!"
"Now!" declared other-Lloyd, turning to everyone and clapping his hands. "Let's eat!"
~~ Three Lloyds ~~
Introductions were made all around, a quick summary of how they'd all first met when their worlds crossed was told, and soon La-Loyd found himself comparing notes with his two counterparts to find out the similarities and differences between their worlds.
On the surface, you'd think he'd have more in common with Luh-Loyd, but after talking for a bit, surprisingly his history actually seemed more similar to Lil'Loyd's.
Maybe he was sixteen like Luh-Loyd, had a Green Dragon mech and a Meowthra, and had been hated by the city and bullied in school. But he also had been abandoned by his mother, freed the Serpentine, been rescued by the Ninja (though apparently Lil'Loyd, due to the age difference, had been rescued by THESE Ninja), and found himself the unlikely fulfillment of an ancient prophecy about a Green Ninja.
"So, uh, can either of you, um...?" La-Loyd formed a ball of Green in his hands.
Lil'Loyd, looking like he'd totally won some contest, proudly created his own. Luh-Loyd, on the other hand, shook his head.
"No, mine are more about boosting the others."
And Lil'Loyd's weren't? Seeing his confusion, the little guy piped up. "Mine are pretty much just another powerful force of nature. Energy, Uncle Wu calls it."
"I, uh, I think mine are a little of both?" La-Loyd replied to the unspoken question. "I mostly use my powers to boost the others, but I can use it as Energy too. For, you know, healing and electricity and such."
"You can heal?!"
"You can't? Have you ever tried?"
"..."
~~ Lala ~~
"Wait, like el ay, not el you aitch?"
"Huh, you know, that would probably be a better way of spelling it. But it's not like anyone calls me that but Dad, and I never really write it down, so it's just how I spell it in my head."
"This is perfect! Then you can be Lala!" loudly exclaimed Lord Garmadon, the one that looked disturbingly like his own dad (but hadn't raised Luh-Loyd, strangely).
The three Lloyds froze, equally pained looks on their faces. Unfortunately, their friends had overheard that cheer, and La-Loyd knew from all those grins that he was doomed to be Lala from now on to all these people.
"Sorry," whispered Luh-Loyd. Lala just shrugged. Can't be helped.
~~ Alone? ~~
"You know, you're kind of a wimp?"
"Gee. Thanks," was Lala's snarky reply. "Forgive me for trying to keep my head down so I don't get murdered at school."
"Wow. Dark," commented Lil'Loyd, though he sounded quite approving, and his brilliant smile didn't suite his words at all.
"I had a really hard time until I got my group of friends," commented Luh-Lloyd. "Cole especially was a great deterrent, so I didn't feel like I had to hide all the time. When did you get the gang together?"
"Uh..." Lala looked at his hands and visibly tried to count backwards. "One, two, about three weeks."
"WEEKS?!" shouted all the eavesdroppers and both Lloyds.
"You suffered through YEARS, alone?! Facing all that HATE?!"
"Um..." and Lala pulled up his hood again.
In reply, he found himself smashed between two Kais, then the two Lloyds added themselves, and he's pretty sure everyone else jumped in after.
~~ Lala's Turn to Host ~~
Author's Note: For how and when the rest of the My Dad is Bad ninja meet the Grass is Greener cast and get their nicknames, please see Sunny Lighter's joint fic. The cat nicknames are the My Dad is Bad ninja.
It was Lala's turn to host, so he was told, and so here they were. Here they ALL were, at his world's Ninja Warehouse. At least Lala had been able to keep the adults out, but that still was a whopping TWELVE extra ninjas here.
Needless to say it was total chaos. The Meowthras and Ultra had run off somewhere (or rather, the Meowthras had run off somewhere with poor Ultra), his friends had yet to stop giggling every time someone called him Lala, and the newly dubbed Mau Zane had destroyed all his team's street cred FOREVER by playing baby ninja videos from his time as a babysitter. And he had HOURS worth.
"FSM!" squealed Red Nya and Cyan Nya (and he was still secretly trembling at the potential consequences of all three Nyas teaming up on anything), where they'd been hunched over Bengal Nya's cell flipping through the last few weeks of pics since the team had met up.
All the other ninja scrambled to see what scored such a reaction, but there was only one phone and way too many teens (and one kid).
"Hey, Zane! Throw up the Cat Ninja photo!" Bengal Nya called out, trying to save her cell.
Mau Zane did so, and to Lala's horror, apparently they'd been squealing over the cat ears photo from the golf tournament. And Bengal Nya was proudly boasting of her reasoning why it was such a brilliant idea.
The only person more horrified than Lala was definitely Toyger Kai, who seemed to have frozen in place out of shock.
"What an awesome idea! And this was broadcast on TV?! I bet no-one messed with Lloyd after that!"
"A couple idiots still tried, but you should've seen his fanclub! They went rabid!"
"People were wearing cat ear headbands for weeks!"
"No!" protested Toyger Kai, desperately trying to salvage some dignity. "Only Lloyd was seen on TV! The rest of us-"
"SOLIDARITY!" cheered all three Nyas together, clapping their hands and striking fear into all the boys' hearts.
"I finally get it!" laughed Cyan. "Why Bengal Nya chose cats for your nicknames! We've already got Lala the Cat Ninja-"
"Hey!"
"At least it's not the Shark Ninja? After that baby-"
"They won't find your body!" growled Lala, tackling Toyger Kai and pinning him to the ground, and for the first time his guests saw the legendary Lloyd Dark Side (which they knew must exist, from their own Lloyds, so they weren't surprised).
Havana Jay mouthed that he'd show the newcomers later, carefully out of sight of Lala.
Coon Cole just smirked and hit the send button on the mass text, containing a link to the Lloyd Protection Fanclub's video archive.
~~ For the Love of Sharks ~~
Lala's eyes were enormous as he stared over the side of the Bounty at the gorgeous creature below.
"I want her. I NEED her," he almost choked, voice hushed and emotional and tears almost coming to his sparkling green eyes.
"She's beautiful," agreed Luh-Loyd, equally starstruck at the magnificent sight.
"She? How can you tell?" asked Nick Jay, bewildered.
"Well, OBVIOUSLY she's a girl!" practically sneered Lil'Loyd, as if anyone that couldn't tell (every single other person on this ship) had to be an idiot. "She's sooooo pretty!"
"Are we talking about the same thing?" asked a confused Cyan Nya. "The whale beneath us?"
"Whale SHARK," corrected Lala, emphasizing the second word like it was the most important and beautiful word in the Ninjagian tongue. Then he turned back to watching the enormous creature swimming below their flying ship, sighing.
Luh-Loyd patted his shoulder companionably. Lil'Loyd hung over the edge, just as entranced as the other two. All their friends gave them the weirdest looks, though only Lil'Loyd's team seemed actually surprised.
"I'm gonna call her Diana! Because that sounds like a princess name to me!" announced Lil'Loyd.
"What do you think, beautiful?" called down Lala to the whale shark, and all the ninja, including the other Lloyds, blinked in surprise at the beautiful call that came back.
Lala's face lit up. "She likes it! What do you say, sweetheart? Want to join my shark family?!"
That sounded so dangerously close to flirting, and embarrassingly Lord Garmadon level BAD flirting, that the Jays snickered, Kais groaned, and Coles looked uncomfortable. The Nyas just looked resigned, while the Zanes seemed fascinated.
"She seems agreeable," replied Luh-Loyd.
"Diana says that as long as I have lots and lots of shrimp. She loves shrimp."
"You got that much?" Luh-Loyd asked, genuinely impressed. "I only get impressions."
"Oh, please! Sharks of any kind are soooo easy to talk to! Way easier than people!"
"You talk to sharks?! That is AWESOME! Teach me!" cheered Lil'Loyd.
Lala looked confused. "What's to teach? You ask them a question or make a comment, and they reply. Though sometimes they can get sassy. And overprotective. Sometimes silly, especially when they want pets and belly rubs."
"He does the same thing with Meowthra," inserted Toyger Kai, smiling slightly even as he stayed as far back from the edge as possible (while still hovering over the Lloyds).
"And apparently dolphins," added Bengal Nya with a sigh, and while this was news to the others, no one seemed particularly surprised.
"I have no idea what you guys are talking about. They're so weird, aren't they, Diana?"
And the whale call in response was definitely laughing.
Luh-Loyd had a dangerously thoughtful gleam in his eyes, and coupled with their knowledge of his monster magnet tendencies, his team definitely was getting tense. The last thing they needed was him, like, creating a wonderland filled with misunderstood monsters. Meowthra was bad enough.
Well, both Meowthras and Ultra.
The Meowthras, Ultra, and Taffy.
The Meowthras, Ultra, Taffy, that one giant snake he'd rescued from Chen's island, that insane chicken of his uncle's, his dad's sharks, Lala's dad's sharks...
Wow. The kid did NOT need any ideas. If he could actually talk to them, like Lala apparently could, there really would be no end.
"Do you think I can ride her?" asked Lil'Loyd. Spike Kai dived forward to prevent such an attempt, only to be stopped by DJ Cole.
"Just ask her," teased Lala. "What do you say, love?"
"She's fine with it," replied Luh-Loyd.
Their friends didn't know what was worse. The love of monsters, sharks in particular, or the ease of communicating with said sharks.
Lala was giving Luh-Loyd an appraising look out of the side of his eye.
"Ever seen Jaws?"
Luh-Loyd's eyes instantly watered up. "WHY does the shark always DIE at the end?! WHY?!"
"I know, right?!" cried out Lala, with the air of having waited his entire life for someone to finally understand.
"Wait, he DIES?! But Dad said it was a comedy!" exclaimed Lil'Loyd in horror. From where he was practicing backflips on the whale shark's back. And no-one was entirely sure when or how he actually got down there.
"I/I know, right?!" exploded Lala and Luh-Loyd together.
Yep, Lloyd bonding was definitely disturbing. And any Garmadon was NOT allowed to choose on movie nights. They could too easily imagine him, any of hims, cackling through a horror flick. It might manage to kill the mood even more than the Lloyds crying for the poor, misunderstood monster.
~~ Go Ninja Go ~~
Author's Notes: Hope you guys enjoyed! Seriously, this is NOT meant to be taken seriously (note the published date!), but it sure was fun! OF COURSE, this was written and posted with Sunny Lighter's permission - she even has her own joint fic to this one! Check it out if you haven't yet, Triple the Ninja, Triple the Fun. The stories really work best read in tandem, though neither necessarily has to come first.
THIS FIC IS NOT CANON FOR EITHER UNIVERSE! There's simply too much plot already planned out in our respective story verses to mix it up at this point, sorry! We are, however, open to the occasional strictly for-fun short, so feel free to shoot us ideas!
Special thanks to Sunny Lighter, of course! Both for writing an amazing series, and for not laughing at me when I hesitantly brought up the idea of a non-canon crossover!