My 40th fanfic! I wrote my 40th fanfic! Can you believe it? Man, this is all overwhelming. I wanted my 40th fic to be something special. And I came up with this. It's unexpected, I know, but it's for my 40th fanfiction. ^_^

I want to thank my friend, darkgirl11, for always being my inspiration. My reason to keep going. *giggles* Well, here's where it all goes from here. :)

Enjoy my story. :D

I spent almost my whole life here. My family and I came to Kells when the Northmen invaded our village and forcing us to flee. My family: my mother, my aunt and cousin, my grandmother and grandfather. I remember when the abbot opened the gates and invited us in. He towered over everyone and he was intimidating and tried to stay out of his way.

We built a small hut for us, although Aunty had to make one for her and my cousin. It was close to ours, about ten feet away. I spent my time with my mother and my grandparents, helping, I gathered food with the other villagers. I learned to cook, nothing fancy but something worth serving.

My attention would always go back to the scriptorium. I ached to go peek, but my chores kept me busy and Mother would remind me that the scriptorium was for illuminators only.

I was always curious about the youngest one. Brendan. That's what I heard the Abbott call him. Apparently, he's his nephew. The Abbott was strict. I don't think I've ever seen him crack a smile. He was also so serious, so unapproachable. He kept the village in order, always having a plan, schedule and an agenda. The wall he had to keep Kells safe blocked the forest and the only way to the forest and back was the great gate.

Funny, I often wondered where Brendan snuck off to every once in a while. He would disappear for a few hours, then come back. The brothers didn't pay much attention to Brendan's folly. But how did he sneak out of Kells? The gate was the only way to get out and the wall was far too high for him to climb, unless he used a rope to climb down to the forest. Nevertheless, I always wondered where he ran off to.

Maybe he had a friend who lived in the forest. No, that's silly. Maybe his secret friend lived in another village. But why all the sneaking out? Why not just come to Kells, save Brendan the trouble? Or perhaps he snuck off to get away from his uncle.

It's impolite to say that, but the Abbott could be hard at times.

Between playing with my cousin and doing chores, I was content in Kells.

Then winter came, and so did the Northmen.

I remember watching the snowflakes dance in the air as I reached to catch some. But Mother came and took me in to our hut. We closed the curtains and huddled up. The heat radiating from all of us made the hut warm and unbearably stuffy. Crows cried, breaking the silence. Then the loud thudding resonated. I covered my ears, begging for them to disappear.

And then, the doors broke open.

Everyone panicked. Everybody ran this way and that way. I scampered out of our hut and ran anywhere I could. An arrow pierced the Abbott in the chest. He fell over. I ran to his side. There wasn't much I could do. I just stayed by his side. I hugged him, but I knew it couldn't help. I just thought that if I hugged him it would make him feel safe. The Abbott stood up, and carried me to the tower. He ordered one of the brothers to open the door and I clambered inside, and from there, I raced all the way to the top. I heard more people running up the stairs. Mother made it in time. So did Aunty, my cousin, grandpa and grandma. The rest of Kells made it in, I don't know how many.

I peeked out the window. The stairs outside burned down. I saw the Abbott laying on the ground. The scriptorium was in flames and this green fog was wafting out. I remembered seeing it time and again. That meant that the brothers were making ink. But the Northmen were drifting out of the scriptorium. I knew what had happened and shed a few tears. Brendan died. The Abbott was alone, and the future was lost.

I curled up into a ball and huddled next to my mother. My mother wrapped me in her arms. My cousin huddled next to me. I heard my grandma whisper to me that it would be alright. I cried more than I did when the Northmen attacked our old home. I closed my eyes and waited for things to quiet down.

I don't know how much time passed, but suddenly everything felt unprecedentedly still. The crows no longer cawed. The next minute I looked out the window, all the Northmen were gone. I waited before it was safe to go outside. We weren't sure what would happen, but it was over. I walked down the stairs with Mother, and found the Abbott still sprawled on the ground. He was holding the arrow in his chest, and he was stabbed in the back. I don't know how he survived it, but I say it was a miracle.

Mother helped him up and walked him to the tower. The villagers helped and once at the top, everyone began to work. I stood by the doorway, just listening. I heard the groans from the Abbott and I was too afraid to look. I just waited. And when it was over, I stepped inside, and approached him. Mother had bandaged his chest. He sat on his bed, still in pain from the blow. Looking at him up close, he was sad...and broken. He had just lost his only family and there was nothing anyone could do to remedy it. I felt sorry for him, and from that moment, I decided to be there for him.

A week after he recovered, he stepped out of his tower. I watched him from the tree I liked to sit under. He was looking at the scriptorium under repairs. He had a forlorn look. The heartbreak burrowed into him. I understood him. He and I couldn't be more different. I walked up to him, looked at the scriptorium and then at him. I told him I was sorry for his loss. He glanced down at me, and he smiled. I don't think I've ever seen him smile before. It was a surprise to see him smile. I thought it was a good start. A start to move on. A start to something new.

And I would be there to make sure he gets there on the right foot.

As the years passed, Kells went back to normal. There was a part of the village where we made a small makeshift graveyard. We could pay our respects to the fallen whenever we wanted. By remembering the ones we lost, we can keep them alive through our stories. The Abbott went to the little cemetery to mourn his nephew. I stood by him, even consoling him. I never got to know Brendan, but I wish I had. The Abbott told me enough about him for me to make a place in my heart. Brendan's mother was the Abbott's sister, and she and her husband died at the hands of the Northmen. The Abbott managed to save his nephew, who was a baby at the time, and he spirited him away to the forest. He found a clearing and built Kells.

The wall was the Abbott's way of keeping everyone safe, but I could see where he was wrong. By constructing the wall, he not only was trapping everyone, but himself, too. He was not only locking himself physically but also emotionally. Even psychologically. I told him that walls only hold us back. That they keep us from seeing what's truly important. I informed him that the only way out of those walls was to tear them down. The Abbott didn't answer right away. He had that stubborn look on how face that he tried to mask. He didn't like being scolded by a woman, but I needed to tell him, and I think he knew it.

After about a minute, he said that I was right. He responded by saying all walls do is blind us from reality. He didn't have his nephew to carry on his legacy, so he was going to choose another to name heir. He added that that heir could do whatever he wishes. He could tear down the wall if wanted. I told him it might be a good idea to do so. The Abbott thanked me for the talk, and even told me I could call him by first name if I wanted. Cellach. I watched him saunter back to the tower. He spent most of his time up in that tower, honestly. Sure, he interacted with everyone, but I guess the loss was too much on him.

And then, it happened.

It was raining that night. I couldn't sleep, so I got up to walk around. Everybody was cloistered away in their little houses, sleeping the night away. I don't know how long time passed, but I saw the grand gates open. In came a stranger in a white hood. I couldn't see his face, but it didn't matter to me. I had no idea who he was or why he was here. I watched him traipse toward Cellach's tower. I deduced he was here to see him for something important.

After he went into the tower, I ambled back to my hut. Mother was still asleep. Grandfather and Grandmother were still slumbering. And my Aunt Freya and Cousin Harris were also still asleep in their own hut. I climbed back into bed to get a few more minutes of sleep. I was too awake to do so, but I closed my eyes and drifted off.

The next moment I woke up it was nearly ten in the morning. Mother had already been up. Aunty was plowing the fields. My cousin was off playing with his friends. Grandmother was sitting by my bed. She opted to watch over me until I woke up. Apparently, she was worried about me since last night. She heard me wake up late in the night. I didn't mean to worry her, but I thanked her for keeping an eye on me. I got out of bed and drifted outside. I looked over at the tower. I saw the hooded figure. This time he took off his hood, and I saw his face.

I couldn't believe my eyes. It was like looking at a mirage, but I knew then that he was no mirage. It was Brendan! Cellach's nephew. He wasn't dead, he was alive. But how did he survive? I thought he died along with the other illuminator. That explained why Brendan had a white cat accompany him. I didn't think it was the same cat. And I never thought I'd ever see Brendan again.

I approached him and he was delighted to see me. Even though he didn't remember me when we were young, I could see he was glad that I was doing well. I asked him all these questions. My main question was how he made it out of Kells. He told me that he, Brother Aiden and his cat escaped through a secret opening in the wall. I couldn't believe it. I had no idea there was a secret passage to the forest. I should've known. Why did I always think he snuck through the gate? Well, in all honesty, I was happy to see him. He was happy to be back and planned on traveling after a few weeks. I was happy for him, and hoped whatever came to him was worthwhile.

Brendan told me he finished Aiden's book, and renamed it the Book of Kells. He told me he left it up in his uncle's tower in case I wanted to see it.

There was one thing that tugged at Brendan's chords. He wondered why I stayed here after the invasion. I didn't know how to answer him. Frankly, I didn't know why I stayed in Kells. I stayed because my family was here. Brendan was touched that I cared about my family, but he also reminded me that I needed to take care of myself, too. He encouraged me to see what's outside of Kells. He told me how he was when he was a child. He didn't need to go outside to know how dangerous the world was. He admitted he was wrong, that his uncle was wrong. Life was beautiful, he said to me. And that it was my choice whether I wanted to see it for myself.

I've been in Kells for over ten years. I have my small family, I had my close friends. I was happy here, but I yearned to see what was out there. I dwelled on this for two months. Brendan didn't say when he was leaving. Honestly, I wasn't waiting for Brendan to leave so that I could leave. No matter, I was going to make my decision.

I packed a satchel, packed a basket with food and filled a canteen with water. I looked up at the tower, thinking what Cellach might be up to. Having his nephew back was good on him. I saw the change in him. Seeing him smile is unnerving to me since I was so used to him frowning.

Morning hadn't come yet. I would leave as soon as the sun rose. But first I needed to take a peek at the Book of Kells. I quietly sauntered up the stairs. I didn't want to wake Cellach or Brendan. If I did, they would both know it was to see the Book. I found it on a table next to the window. I made the silent walk toward it, setting my basket down, and looked at the cover. It was gold, and I wondered how it gotten to be such a color. I opened it, and I couldn't believe my eyes. The pages were so beautiful, so bright. So reflective. The pictures were so intricately detailed that it must've taken hours to draw one thing at a time. I careful ran my fingers across the pages. They felt so smooth that I wondered whether they were really pages at all.

Then I rested on a certain page. This one stood out the most. It was so bright I thought I would go blind gazing on it. This page was indescribably beautiful. There was no word that I that could begin to describe it. I looked at it for a while. Then I heard the Abbott stir. I picked up my belongings and scurried out of there. I dashed out the door and raced for the gates. I wonder of Brendan saw me...well, whether he did or not, I'm just glad I caught a glimpse of the Book. Now I can go on with my journey.

As I walk the road through the forest, I suddenly feel an unseen weight lift off my shoulders. I start to see the world in a different perspective. My whole world feels bigger. Having spent half my life in Kells, I hardly ventured out, preferring to stay in my home. I know that my family will still be there when I return. Brendan's return is proof that you have to keep going after everything is lost. He continued on even when he thought his uncle was dead. It didn't stop him.

Hope is a mysterious thing. You can have hope to do better things. You can hope tomorrow will be brighter. You can hope for a world without fear. It's the way you utilize it that it brings what you wish for. And I can hope that I will live my life to the fullest.

I will see my family again, but right now I need to make my mark in the earth. As Heaven as my witness, I will help others find hope even when it's at its darkest.

How was that for my 40th fanfic? :D I know I'm still new to the whole Secret of Kells fandom, but I put my soul into this. You will not believe how hard this was.

And that was the only picture of Fiona I could use. It's not like there's one where she's an adult. Besides, that picture makes you think of it as something deeper.