Starry Skies

Disclaimer: I own none of the characters from this story except my OC, everything and everyone else is property of Kazuki Takahashi.

(This also isn't meant to be a Puzzleshipping fic, but feel free to interpret this however you see fit in this story. I also use Yami and Atem pretty freely, since this is a fic set in an AU where Yami/Atem is reborn. I will refer to him with both of those names in this story, so apologies for the confusion. Yami is meant to be an informal address to him, Atem is meant to be addressing him as formal and serious.)

Domino City was unusually silent and still. The night was cold, a very biting chill of -6C°. The wind would blow, and although it wasn't a strong breeze, it made the cold winter temps bite even harder than they already were. The sky was clear, not a cloud to be seen. The stars were out, and if it weren't for the streetlights, they would be glittering all across the skies.

At least, if one tried observing from the ground below. A view of the sky from the tall skyscrapers and apartments could probably provide an unobstructed view of the stars. That is, if there were someone dumb or crazy enough to sit outside with the air as cold as it was.

Yami stood on the top of a large apartment building about a thirty minute walk from Kame Game. A classmate and friend of Yugi and the rest of his friends invited them to a small party in her apartment. More than likely Yugi would call Grandpa and tell him that he would be out all night and come home when it was day, but neither of them brought anything for a sleepover. Not that it really mattered to him, Yami's mind was on other things right now, and the camaraderie was at the bottom of his mental list.

If he had to be honest with himself, he really didn't enjoy the party that much because of it. He tuned out everyone's chatter and blaring loud rock music to where if someone asked him something, he wouldn't know what to answer. Téa would ask what was wrong, but before Yami could reply to anything, Joey or Tristan would butt in and ask him to play a game that their classmate and host Ellie was organizing. It was impolite to turn the offer down, and impolite to ignore what his friend asked. When the game concluded, Yami saw that Yugi and Bakura would be speaking to her, and he didn't wish to impose on her and be impolite that way. He would hide in Ellie's bedroom, as it was open, but the sight of certain articles of clothing the teenage girl had strewn about in her room disturbed him too much to stay.

And the cycle of enduring the talking and questions repeated itself for over an hour until Yami excused himself to step outside. Yugi would have followed had it not been for Ellie saying a quip about the former Pharaoh going to "take a piss outside" as she called it made the smaller boy feel awkward and uncomfortable. Honestly, one part of him felt glad she just mistook his withdrawal as him needing to relieve himself outside, as disgusting as that sounds, especially in a city of all places. On the other hand, he would have wanted someone to follow him outside. Preferably Yugi, but Téa could have worked as well. That side of Yami just wanted to spill everything on his mind out like a dam ready to burst.

The chill of the wind made him shiver, especially considering he didn't have anything warmer than the borrowed gray sweatshirt he had on. It was rather plain for his tastes but it suited Yami's current mind and mood, but the plainness of the clothes clashed with his studded boots and leather pants. His mind wandered to his rebirth, strange that it was…

Yami sighed, thinking back to that day. He lost the Ceremonial Duel against Yugi, he was fated to cross over to the afterlife to see the family and friends from the past he had lost, but the Gods seemed to desire him to start anew, live his full life, an honor that seemed reserved and rather fitting for the Pharaoh who saved the world from Zorc those 5,000 years ago. He gladly accepted this honor, not giving a second thought that day. But now, he almost felt like the acceptance was impulse. It was worth it to see the tears of joy in Yugi's eyes, feel the warmth of his embrace for real, even if the smaller boy practically tackled him just for a hug. Yami felt content, and though it took Kaiba pulling some strings for him to have all the necessary papers and information to consider him a Japanese citizen, he finally had a second chance. A chance to live his full life, one in a way never thought possible by anyone of his time.

But now, as of late, he kept questioning his choice. Why was he, the Nameless Pharaoh given a second chance at life when no other mortal in the history of man hasn't? Was it because of his achievement of defeating Zorc in the past, not once, but twice if it weren't for the Thief King pulling the strings in their final confrontation? All he wanted to know was if his decision was correct and that it wasn't selfish. He wished he could contact the spirit of his father and ask if he did the right thing…

The stars… They look beautiful tonight… He thought as he stared at the blackened sky, brightened only by a crescent moon and the millions of stars that dotted the night sky. It was said in certain cultures stars were spirits of the dead that were watching from the heavens. Yami forgot which culture believed that, or even if that was a true statement. But it felt comforting to know, perhaps his father, mother, priests, and close friends long ago were watching from the other side. Even if the comfort was only slight.

Yami sighed, wrapping his arms around himself in a half-baked effort to stave off the cold. He could faintly see his own breath, mainly due to the less light on the roof. It was rather stupid to leave his jacket in there, but he grew tired of being roped into games he didn't want to do or talk about inane topics. He was too tired to say no to any of it, and the thought alone left a sour taste in his mouth. But at the very same time, he just didn't want to ruin anyone else's fun over these thoughts that refused to leave him alone.

Why was this a mistake? Why is this selfish? Gah! Why can't these thoughts leave my SLEEP alone?!

Yes, the feeling of guilt that appeared to well up out of nowhere plagued his very ability to sleep. Yami wasn't able to get a decent night's sleep in about a week now. He feared he might have developed insomnia, but it was probably too soon to give a self diagnosis. He played off his weariness, drank some black tea with more sugar than he wanted to get a bit of a sugar high to give him enough energy to get him through the morning until breakfast. Then, from there, it was a little easier to get through.

However, his lack of proper rest was beginning to get at him. His normally tall, rigid, straight posture was slowly turning into a slump. His tolerance for stupidity was at a dangerous low, especially when he was trying to work. He snapped at Joey and Tristan a day earlier because they were roughhousing in the store and almost knocked down the shelves. Granted, he and Grandpa would have scolded them for the stupid idea anyway, but it was out of the former Pharaoh's character to yell like he did, much less at his friends. He immediately apologized afterward though, but he never told them what was wrong.

Didn't ease his already gnawing guilt up either.

Please, can I get an answer? Yami mentally asked himself. Can someone tell me if I did the right thing? He looked at the stars, believing he could find an answer in their glimmer somehow. The sky really was beautiful though, he had to admit that… The stars' twinkles, some faint, some bright, gave an ambience that greatly added an atmosphere of life in the night.

Oddly enough, he took to remembering Duelist Kingdom, instead of a memory in Egypt when he saw the stars. It was after the duel with Panik, before he swapped places with Yugi. Even if it was before they truly deepened their trust and connection, Yami couldn't help but feel delight in gazing up in the night sky. It was beautiful, but back then he couldn't explain why. Perhaps it was just a part of innate memories he wasn't able to unlock back then.

Yami felt himself slumping downward until he was lying on his back with his head against a ventilation pipe. The soft hum of the air drowned the noise of rock music even more than his own mental barrier was. Unfortunately, the pipe wasn't warming much of anything, or at least, wasn't blowing hot air out towards his direction. The humming however, was oddly soothing. He could feel himself slowly drift away...

The stars are growing faint…

I feel like ice...

Such soft humming, must curl up… Need warmth…

Need… My Hikari… Yugi… Yugi...

Yami's eyes closed. He curled up in a ball on the roof, trying to get a little bit of body heat back.

…

…

Fifteen minutes pass. Yugi noticed that Yami was gone for a rather long time, so he searched around the apartment building to see if he was there. He called the phone given to him, but it was left in his jacket, which for some reason was forgotten in the room. Yami couldn't have gone too far, knowing how thin the sweatshirt he wore was. Yugi felt bad for not picking up the subtle hints. He felt stupid for not following Yami out there, he felt stupid for not noticing how withdrawn his friend was. He didn't give enough courtesy to ask what was wrong, now Yami could be freezing out there…

When he didn't have any luck outside the apartments, Yugi checked each individual floor, checked the bathrooms, and even asked the manager if she saw a young man with hair almost identical to his. Unfortunately, she hadn't. She could have missed him going by for all he knew.

Why would he go off on his own and leave his phone and jacket? Is he angry with us? He couldn't be… Right? Right…?

Now that Yugi thought about it more, he remembered the past week. He remembered seeing his once literal "other self" staring at his Duel Monsters deck with a downcast expression on his face. He never remembered seeing Yami in such a state before, the closest was when they still shared a body and he instigated the date with Téa before she suggested they go to the museum. He didn't know much of anything that happened in the eight hours after his soul was taken by the Orichalcos… If that wasn't too sore a memory, maybe Yugi could ask about that too.

Yugi glanced outside a window. There was a small perfume store with a streetlight next to it, but his eyes darted to the night sky. The stars were faint, due to the lights inside and the streetlight. He remembered a few times where Ellie talked about how it was nice stargazing from the top of the apartment building. The stars were supposed to be dazzling tonight, a multitude of them. He noticed Yami trying to look up at the sky when they were on their way to the party…

Perhaps he was on the roof. If Yami wasn't anywhere else, he had to be on the roof. Yugi takes a couple loops through the halls to an elevator, rides it to the top floor, and as he looks around the array of mono-colored gray doors, he spied one in particular with a faded white sign with illegible kanji. He remembered following Ellie through here to get to the roof. Yugi opened the door, and climbed a final set of stairs til he met up with another metal door. Lo and behold, he was now on the top of the building.

Yugi froze when he saw Yami. His other self was curled up into a practical ball, eyes shut, in front of a ventilation pipe. He wasn't dead… Thankfully. When Yugi finally managed to walk again, he could see that Yami was faintly shivering, and he could hear the shaky breaths the former Pharaoh breathed. His face was red, almost purple even. In all honesty, Yugi was surprised Yami wasn't in worse condition, though that wasn't saying much…

Yugi knelt down over Yami, moving the neck of the sweatshirt down so he could check his other self's pulse. It was slowed, but it was there, still steady at least.. He just needed to go inside and warm up. Maybe he was able to wake up.

"Yami? Yami? Wake up… Wake up!" He shook the curled up body twice. When Yami made an audible grunt of discomfort, Yugi shook him again. Slowly, but surely, his bleary red-purple eyes opened, narrowed in a squint. He glared, but despite this, he wasn't angry. More than anything, he was confused at Yugi's worried expression.

"Yami, are you alright?"

"I'm very cold, but otherwise fine..." He answered quietly, not even looking at his hikari. Whatever the reason, he couldn't seem to look Yugi in the eyes. Yugi noticed this, but didn't seem to try and capitalize on this. He wasn't upset, if anything, he was just worried. Yami needed to get inside to a warmer place quickly, and this wasn't helping.

"Don't worry, come with me." Yugi held out his hand for Yami to take. Yami didn't move. His body was still in its curled ball, and his arms were wrapped around his body. The sweatshirt was probably stretched out on the sleeves as he wrapped the ends of it over his hands to keep them warm. Yugi frowned.

"Yami, I can't carry you. I can help you walk inside but only if you let me pull you up."

"I don't want to go back in there…"

"Why not?"

Yami didn't answer. His expression looked like one of grim sadness, as if what he would say next could decide the fate of everything and everyone from here on out. His gaze was still averted from Yugi's, and it wasn't like sitting out in the cold, slowly succumbing to hypothermia would get the answers out further. Yugi held his hand out again, and Yami's eyes finally focused onto his hikari's.

"Well, I won't bring you back to the party if that's what you want. I just want you to be warm and tell me what's wrong, you don't have to worry, alright?"

It took Yami a moment to process what Yugi told him. Perhaps it was either the cold, or the muddled state of mind he held at the moment, or even both, but this offer made him feel warmer. He grabbed Yugi's hand, immediately taken back at how warm it was. It made him notice how icy and cold his own felt. He was tempted to hug Yugi, embrace him tight to get feeling back in the rest of his body.

Slowly, but surely, Yugi helped Yami to his feet. The two walked to the stairwell, Yugi stopping at a wall in front of the old metal door. The slightly shorter boy sat down, patting a space on the carpeted floor for his other self to sit next to him. Yami did, and Yugi took off his jacket for Yami to wrap around himself. When he did, it was almost reminiscent of how he would wear Yugi's uniform jacket as a cape when they still shared a body. Only this time it was wrapped closer, tighter. Yugi frowned when he could see that Yami was still visibly shivering.

He hated seeing Yami appear so vulnerable, it was foreign for him. Yugi strived to be as strong and confident in himself as Yami. Not just with duels, but throughout his life as well. He wanted to be someone others depended on, a savior and a friend. All of these things were what the others saw Yami as, and while they saw Yugi similarly, his shy demeanor and childishness was what hurt his image. He was just… Little Yugi. It was especially like this when Yami was still a spirit sharing Yugi's body, before the others even knew Yugi had a "split personality".

"Yami?" He didn't answer when Yugi spoke. "Yami? Do you just not hear me?" Silence. "Yami, please, talk to me…" Silence, once more. His face wasn't even towards Yugi's anymore. Yugi sighed heavily.

"Atem. Tell me, what's wrong? I'm not going to leave your side. I should have asked this days ago, I'm sorry I didn't notice sooner, just tell me. Please. I just want to know what's wrong and if I can help, you know I would do anything to help you."

He was silent for a while. Yugi was sure using Yami's birth name was going to rouse a response, but to his surprise, there was nothing. Nothing for a moment. A turn, head facing down, with eyes avoiding eyes. Was this how he acts when he's ashamed? Consistently dodging the eyes of everyone around him to avoid telling the truth of what was wrong? Yugi didn't get it at all, but everyone acts in some similar way when they're ashamed of something. Yami appeared more ashamed than anything else right now…

"Am I a selfish person, Yugi?" He finally asked. His voice was even, but his gaze was still fixed to the ground. That was an unusual question. How was he selfish?

"No, not really. You've saved the world not once but twice in the past, not to mention the battle with Marik and then Dartz. What brought this on?"

"I keep having these dreams… I see the sands of my home, I reign over my people, but then the sands begin sinking into the ground. Everyone, my subjects, my court, everything I ever knew, it's fading away as the sand slips away, as if it were in an hourglass. Turns out we were in an hourglass. It breaks. The sands spill out and blow away in the breeze like dust in the wind, myself included, and I find myself in front of the Millennium Stone and the gateway to the afterlife. The gateway closes, and I fall into an endless void with the spirits of my priests and family looking down at me with downcast expressions… All because of my choice to be reborn in this life.

Sometimes the void spirals into a vision of a time where Zorc was unbeatable. Sometimes I see visions of the Leviathan in the same dream. Every end of these dreams has me chained to a column, beaten, bloody, near death, and the spirits of my court are casting me down into damnation. I can't sleep… I sit awake and doze, but I can't drift into sleep without these dreams…"

Yugi listened carefully, nodding, trying to process and analyze every specific detail his other self recounted from his dream. The ends sounded more like nightmares, but it seems that just comes with deep guilt. The question is, however, what was there to be guilty for?

Why would Yami feel so guilty when he saved the world? Would it be because of the actions he took during or after the fact? It just didn't feel right, Yami didn't hurt anyone to save anyone, but there were a lot of people hurt before he could save them. It seemed there was a pattern of each person close to him getting picked off like flies when the greatest danger comes knocking at his door. Somehow, thanks to luck of unimaginable proportions, he manages to pull through out of unspeakable odds, and save everyone's lives.

"Yami? Do you… Do you feel guilty for anything you've done? Why would you see Zorc or the Leviathan in your dreams? Why would your priests damn you? I already told you, you saved the world multiple times, no lives were lost, and everything worked out in the end like it always has, right?"

That question finally made Yami's gaze stick to Yugi, but the statement was so unbelievably naive, he was amazed Yugi wasn't smiling. In fact, noticing the look of disgust in Yami's eyes, Yugi frowned even more.

"Yugi… How naive can you be? I'm sorry if I sound harsh, but through most of our time through the Orichalcos crisis, Mai, our friend sought to attack us and steal our souls because she thought we abandoned her. Mai's time in the Shadow Realm was not easy, and I'm sure that fear caused her to lose herself to her inner darkness… In fact, I don't even want to THINK about that time again…"

"Because of what happened with Raphael?"

"Yugi-"

"It happened in the past. We should put that behind us, because like I said, it worked out. Even Mai's gone off to find herself again. Marik's evil half was banished, Dartz and his family have found peace, and Zorc is destroyed for good-"

"Yugi, it isn't ever that simple! Do you not see this?!" Yami barked at him. But just as the angered stupor quickly started, it screeched to a deadened halt when Yami saw his hikari's downcast expression. Tears stung his own eyes, as if he wasn't already feeling guilty enough. "I'm sorry, it's just…"

"I know, it did sound awfully naive, didn't it?"

"Very naive, I'm afraid," Yami sighed. "But, I guess you see my point now. Just because lives weren't lost when Marik was attacking us doesn't change what happened to Ishizu's family. Or during the Orichalcos crisis, just because we actually got lucky in this fight with everyone having their souls returned to their body doesn't mean lives weren't lost in the battle with Zorc. And even THEN, just because lives close to home weren't lost during those times doesn't mean they weren't negatively affected by them. Mai turned against us and almost had Joey's mortal soul sacrificed. Joey felt guilty through this whole debacle, swearing to save her again…" Another sigh escaped Yami's lips.

"And then… You… What happened after I lost against Raphael tore a hole into my very being, like everything that was bright and good was extinguished like a flame right before my eyes. I lost a piece of myself that day, Yugi. I lost you. I had no restraint, no self-control. If it weren't for Téa, I would have killed Weevil by damaging his body beyond repair. I called into his bluff that he had the card that held your soul. Do you not realize how furious that made me feel? I just… I couldn't help myself from doing that to him… I was seeing red, seeing blood. It's almost terrifying to think about… It just makes me remember…"

"All the times in the past where your Penalty Games injured people? Well, think about that for a moment. Everyone who got a penalty, well, not to sound callous, but they got what was coming to them. Some of these guys tried to kill us, don't you remember the robber at Burger World?" Yami nodded in response to his question.

"Back then, you did what you could to protect us, even if it was without restraint. You didn't know anything, you were just a ghost in a living shell, and you had no memories to call your own. I don't know why you sought to protect me from the moment I finished the Puzzle, fate perhaps? Either way, you've always sought to protect us, why feel guilty about it now?"

"Because if I wasn't here, this wouldn't have ever happened to you or the others. If Pegasus didn't seek the Puzzle's power, Grandpa would have never lost his soul. The Millennium Puzzle is supposed to bring its wearer luck and good fortune, but it seemed to draw in danger at every step no matter what. They always sought whatever power my spirit possessed, and whatever the case may be, always sought to kill us in the process. I caused your friends to get hurt, Yugi, every evil we faced, they were always after me, never you, never them. Joey almost died to the Winged Dragon of Ra when he dueled Marik… Imagine if it were someone inexperienced like his sister, Téa, or Tristan! Do you see my point, Yugi?"

Yugi placed a hand on Yami's shoulder. He looked his other self dead in the face, and it was as if he was gazing into the other male's soul. Yami averted his gaze for a moment, mainly out of embarrassment. His face was still a little red from exposure to the cold outside, but a small blush crept to his face.

"I do see your point, I understand what you're saying. But, do you want me to be honest with you?"

"Yugi, you'll be honest with me no matter what my answer is. It isn't in your nature to lie to your friends."

Yugi smiled shyly, and averted his gaze from his counterpart for a split second. "I'm glad you see me that way, Yami." The other boy chuckled. Yugi turned his gaze back toward his other self.

"You're not selfish at all, Atem," Yugi began, and the use of his first name again caught Yami off guard. "You gave your life five thousand years ago saving your people. In spite of losing your memories once your spirit was sealed in the pieces of the puzzle, once I put it together, you innately kept helping. I didn't understand it at all, and I even feared it when you would do anything to help me rescue Grandpa… Even if Kaiba's threat of suicide was lower than low. You continued to help me and my friends, you helped save the world from destruction three different times,"

"Yugi, I don't mean to be rude by interrupting, but where are you going with this?"

"Atem, you were born to be Pharaoh, a life you didn't choose to lead. Not to mention, the even greater health dangers five thousand years ago thanks to lack of medical knowledge back then. The gods saw that you formed a close bond with us… Me included. One that very much seemed like the relationship between your friends and family back then in a weird way. They wanted to give you a choice, if you wanted to live your full possible life, or return to the afterlife with your family. I know your heart yearned to see them again, but you will. Your soul is still yours, your spirit is much older than all of ours, and by blood, you're still King of Egypt.

"You don't need to feel bad for mistakes made in the past, it's all behind us. Grandpa always told me it shapes you who become if you learn from them. You don't need to be afraid of talking to us… You realize that, right?" Yugi asked.

"I didn't want to burden you all… It isn't my right to open old wounds, especially when you are having fun. It just makes me question why I was brought with you in the first place."

"Well, stop doing that, Atem." Yugi sounded so much like his own mother in that moment it was rather jarring, especially seeing the ashamed look his close friend held. "It's not healthy to hold this in. These events opened up a lot of trauma… I don't want you to start feeling worse because of it. You're not burdening anyone sharing how you're feeling, and don't say it's for our own protection either. Everything has resolved, you have no reason to feel guilt, and I'm sure your friends and family are proud of you, why would anyone care if you're alive today?" Yugi asked.

"I am a Pharaoh from the distant past reborn, I've altered time itself by being alive, not to mention all of my enemies in the past have the potential of somehow coming back, especially the Thief King. Yugi, I don't want anyone else to get hurt, and that's just what will happen. It's only a matter of time… Why else would I be given this chance of living life anew if it wasn't for foresight?"

"Atem," Yugi said in that same, stern voice as earlier. "We've dealt with everything together, and we'll still be by your side no matter what. Please understand, you don't have to feel guilty anymore. You don't have to hide your feelings, and I'm sure your friends and family from Egypt would be proud of you. I know they would be. You've accomplished too much to benefit mankind, and so many don't even realize it- Atem? Are you alright?"

Tears were slowly trickling down Yami's face. His breath was shaky, as if he were trying not to audibly sob to keep a stone face. He was even trembling. Yugi didn't know what else to do, so he wrapped his arms around his other self. Yami cried on Yugi's shoulder, and kept crying. He cried more than he ever thought he could. It was like a whole weight of the world was being lifted off his shoulders, it was still there, but Yami felt Yugi's warmth stronger than he has in a long time.

Thank you, Yugi...

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A/N: So people who followed me for my Kirby stories, guess you didn't expect this then, huh? Well, I'm sorry, but I might not write anything for Kirby again. A lot has happened since I last posted. I'm in college, the virus is killing people, yada yada. I've had a lot happen to me through Discord, things change, we move on from stuff. I like Kirby, but it leaves a bit of a sore spot on me now. Idk how often I'll post anything on here, but I am still alive, don't worry. I'll probably be very erratic with stories, so I won't really promise anything anymore. Sorry to those who wanted me to do something with them, I really do apologize. Some of us have to move on, it's all part of life.

So thanks, to those who did follow me. It was flattering, and I'll try to do my best for any stories I decide to post on here.