this is kinda like a part of my fic "splices" where the three of them getting drunk together is mentioned and yes ik all my stories have some form of intoxication lmao i do not care
1.
parents are gone this wknd
bring thirty bucks
*:･ﾟ
During 2nd period, Robbie pulls his phone out of his pocket to see the most ominous text he's ever read.
Cat nudges his shoulder and holds up her phone. "Are you going?"
The group chat only includes three people; Jade West, Cat Valentine, and himself.
He's confused and mostly concerned, but somehow he ends up nodding anyway.
*:･ﾟ
At home, Robbie's phone buzzes and he sees Cat's sent two hearts and a lopsided smile to the chat.
Jade replies with stop and Robbie laughs quietly.
if u bring the puppet i will kill u
He stops laughing.
2.
Saturday afternoon, Jade's black jeep is honking from his driveway.
"How'd you know my address?" Robbie sputters as he clambers into the back of the car and catches Jade's eyes in the rearview mirror. Cat's sitting in the passenger seat, bare feet on the dash and piggy bank in her lap.
"Ever heard of Yellow Pages, Shapiro?" Jade mutters.
Robbie scowls and throws his bag in the trunk.
"What's our first stop?" He asks.
*:･ﾟ
The first and only stop is the liquor store.
"You brought the thirty bucks?" Jade pushes her sunglasses up and reaches out a hand.
"Wait, wait, wait-" Robbie looks out the window, eyes probably the size of saucers. "We're getting drunk ?"
"How else am I supposed to tolerate you two?" Jade snaps, but her voice is lacking its usual venom. If Robbie looks past all the makeup, he thinks he sees something close to calm smeared across her face.
"Cat?" He asks, hoping the redhead is equally unaware.
"Cat." Jade's eyes never leave his. "Lipstick." She says, reaching out a hand.
"You'll get me the lemony things?" Cat pulls a tube of lipstick out of her bag and hands it over.
Jade looks in the rearview mirror and swipes the dark stuff on in quick strokes.
"They'll ID you," Robbie mumbles, but when he pulls the money out of his pocket and hands it over, something in him beats excitedly.
Jade hands the lipstick back, tosses black hair over her shoulder, and gets out of the car.
(robbie's never heard a door slam so loud)
The bell at the gas station entrance jingles and he has to sit on his hands to stop them from sweating the way they are.
"They'll ID her," Robbie says again, the beating in his chest going slightly erratic.
Cat just sits quietly, tapping her fingernails against her teeth. "No, they won't."
A few minutes later Jade comes back with bottles and bottles of drinks Robbie's never even heard of before. He's expecting to see a smug smile and bright eyes under her heart-shaped sunglasses and has to pretend not to be disappointed when she just looks tired.
*:･ﾟ
"Robbie, since you are an alcohol virgin, I got us a variety."
The three of them are sitting in a semi-circle on the carpet in Jade's room, all the bottles in the middle like a shrine to incrimination.
Robbie takes something orange from the pile and stares at it with an unconvinced glance.
"I'm scared." He breathes.
Jade unscrews another bottle for herself and lifts an eyebrow. "Pussy."
Cat mixes something for herself that's bright red and smells like alcohol poisoning.
"Promise me I won't die?" Robbie asks.
"I'm still here aren't I?" Jade smirks.
Robbie nods again, palms eternally sweaty.
The three of them tilt their drinks back, eyes screwed shut as the liquid leaves a fire burning down their throats.
3.
By ten pm, they're a little past tipsy, counters and fingers sticky with cherry coke and tamarind vodka, potato chip crumbs littering the floor, empty bottles and cans tilted sideways. The Strokes pound out from a speaker somewhere in the room and Robbie's confidence has spiked from a -3 to a solid 5. They're playing some shoddy card game that involves shots and no chasers and a lot of expletives from Jade.
"Dude, that doesn't count, you can't win like that-" Jade's sputtering about the rules even though he's 90% she and Cat made the game up.
"You clearly don't care if I win, because you're literally pouring yourself a shot-" He laughs, and he thinks her scowl is the closest thing he'll get to a smile from her.
"Whatever," Jade throws the shot back. "Cat, your turn."
"Kay," Cat takes a sip of her mojito, smile plastered on her face, and Robbie rolls his eyes at the pointlessness of the card game.
When it's his turn, he cheats and fouls his way out of four more shots.
It gets Jade right back to arguing. "Rob, bro, that's literally an illegal move-"
Robbie doesn't really know how else to shut her up so he just leans over the mess of cards and cinnamon whiskey and presses his lips to hers.
Cat squeals, Jade doesn't pull herself off of him and he feels like he might actually implode.
When they finally pull away, he can feel his cheeks getting tomato red.
"If I were sober, you'd be dead, Shapiro." Jade looks unfazed, lipstick still perfectly intact. "But, uh, wow."
"Wow, as in good wow, or..." Robbie presses a hand to the back of his neck, eyes glued to the cards.
"No, just...Wow as in, we've all kissed each other."
Robbie's head snaps up.
Cat chugs her mojito and Jade just shrugs.
*:･ﾟ
By midnight, they're all lying in the middle of Jade's living room, sprawled across each other, breath heavy with booze and black licorice.
Cat's head is laying on Jade's lap, her fingers tangled in Robbie's hair.
"Are we wasted yet?" Robbie asks, eyes fixed on the stars he can see through the window.
"Definitely not," Jade snickers, and then Robbie's laugh follows, and then Cat is cackling and soon all of them are gasping for breath, ribs aching, the heels of their hands wiping at tears.
"We're still pretty drunk though?" Robbie whispers, sort of afraid of the answer.
"Oui."
He can't tell which one of them is talking.
*:･ﾟ
Jade disappears to go get more snacks and Cat and Robbie are left alone.
Somehow, he gets Careless Whisper to play next on the speaker (it's mostly a joke, but he genuinely likes the song) and he takes Cat's hand and spins her around and when he sees the way her brown eyes light up he feels beautifully undone.
4.
At 1 am they start watching Clueless (Jade and Cat can recite every line) and then paint each other's nails. Cat paints Jade's fingernails black, Jade paints Robbie's toes a horrendous pink, and Robbie paints Cat's fingers a sharp, vibrant red.
While Robbie's doing the finishing touches on Cat's nails, Jade gets a text.
hey
She sees who sent it and lets out an ugly laugh. Cat peaks over her shoulder and scowls, nose twisted in mock-disgust. Robbie expects Jade to turn the phone off and pretend it never happened, but instead, she turns it around for him to see.
He has a stupid grin plastered on his face and he has no idea how it got there.
(he might finally be a part of something other than himself)
*:･ﾟ
"I have a fake," Jade says, eyes fixed on something in her hand.
The alcohol's muddled him.
He stumbles on an elbow and looks over at Jade, eyebrows raised in surprise. (with his motor functions impaired, they don't go very high) "Wait let me see,"
"I took the picture," Cat pops a giant bubble of strawberry flavored gum, fingers clumsily braiding Jade's hair.
"How do you think I used to buy cigarettes?" Jade turns and hands it over to him. He looks at the two of them, sitting there like lock-and-key and tries to compare them to the Jade West and Cat Valentine he met freshman year. The alcohol muddles that too.
*:･ﾟ
At 2 am, Robbie is at the toilet, violently puking while Cat rubs slow circles on his back.
"You know," Robbie mumbles, a string of saliva hanging from his bottom lip, "I never thought we'd be friends, let alone close enough to be going to Alcoholics Anonymous,"
Jade rolls her eyes, throws him a towel and snaps a pic of him and Cat, an intoxicated smile picking its way across her face.
"Very funny, Shapiro."
Cat stars whistling Don't go breaking my heart.
*:･ﾟ
By the time they all wake up, it's almost 1 pm.
Streaks of sun stream in lazily through the window, turning the house into a warm cocoon.
When Robbie opens his eyes to the smell of coffee, he sees Cat's in front of him, offering a chipped mug.
"C'mon," She motions to the living room. "I made chocolate chip pancakes and Jade put on that episode of The Office we know you like,"
Robbie sits up and rubs his eyes, untangling himself from a bunch of blankets. "Wait, the one with the fire?"
Cat nods and holds out a hand to help him up. He follows her down the stairs, mind throbbing from trying to remember everything that happened the night before.
Faintly, he can hear the mumble of the TV and the sizzle of something cooking.
Faintly, he can feel his heart beginning to warm with an emotion he's just starting to figure out.
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