Post nelsons sparrow/10x13
AN: This fic takes place starting at the end of 10x13. This is my first Criminal minds fic and my second fic in total so kind feedback is welcomed. I'll try to add a new chapter every day or two but I can't promise anything. Please review. Also sorry for my bad grammar/spelling im not the smartest. i do not own criminal minds.
Location: FBI Headquarters, 10:57 PM
The bullpen was empty, the air seemed thin yet overwhelming. Nearly all of the lights are off, only two lights remain shining. The light is tinted blue and is only shining on a stack of paper. The other light is a yellow hue shining between the blinds that cover the window of a colleague's office. Spencer Reid sat there at his desk reading over the same page of a case report he had written. For someone who could read 20,000 words per minute, it was not like him to be reading one page for the last 20 minutes. Aaron Hotchner noticed this from his office. He kept starring at the young agent through the peek of his blinds. Reid was lost on the page of his report as he saw the name, 'Jason Gideon.' Reid still could not believe that he was gone. All of the memories he had with him were now only one-sided. Reid felt guilty about not visiting or calling, sure he knew that Jason wasn't that accessible but he still felt bad. He kept repeating the same letter that Gideon had left him many years ago. He jumped slightly as he felt Aaron's hand on his shoulder. He looked up at his boss, eyes tired and strained.
"I'm heading home, are you done with the report?" hotch said with his constant stern face.
"Uh… yeah, it's finished, I'll drop it at your desk," Reid said as he started to put the papers in a folder.
"Actually I will just take it now if you don't mind."
"Sure, here." Spencer handed him the folder.
"And spencer-" hotch spoke with a soft voice.
Reid's heart raced from hearing his first name knowing that the end of that sentence would be personal.
"Get some rest, yeah? I know that you are tired and coffee is not going to cut it." hotch finished his sentence.
Reif gave him a nearly silent "yeah" and started to put on his jacket. He and Hotch had left the building as headed home on transit and Hotch drove home.
The train ride back to his apartment was quiet. Well, quiet for public transit in DC. Reid sat on the hard plastic seat looking out the window that showed nothing but darkness. He could slightly see himself through the reflection and he felt as if he were in some Indie band's sad acoustic music video. He still was in disbelief about the death of his past mentor. He wished that he could go back in time before Gideon left the BAU. "if i had convinced him to stay in the BAU, he likely would not have died, i could have been there for him. Dammit, spencer why do you have to drive everyone away from you? first your mother, then Lila, then Gideon and honestly Maeve's death was your fault. And now Gideon's death is your fault, whats next everyone in the BAU dies because you drive them away further every time you speak about unwanted statistics." Reid thought to himself. The train stopped and Reid got off. He walked in the cold dark night for about five minutes before he arrived at his apartment. Reid unlocked his door and sat on his couch, tears filled his eyes slightly as his thoughts went off like a fire alarm, he kept thinking about how everything is his fault. He tried to read a book to keep his mind occupied but he just kept reading the same sentence over and over again. Reid got frustrated at his lack of progress and threw the book across the room which broke his coffee mug that was sitting on a coffee table.