Himiko Yumeno watched the call on her phone buzz for a long few seconds until she set the item down on her kitchen counter.

Life was hard. It had always been; at least, from what she could remember.

There were days she would rather not remember, though. That was always hard.

Voices haunted her dreams, the only salvation being the horrid screams of her alarm clock that pulled her from the tight grasp of her subconscious. Some days she felt nauseous, others felt like a blur, and some were more decent than others.

The little redhead was always struggling to hold back her tears, especially around the only friends she had left: Shuichi Saihara and Maki Harukawa.

She sat there, in front of the counter, passing the minutes peeling at the skin beside her fingernails; the red nail polish that Maki had sloppily painted on a few days earlier was barely there anymore, and what was left was in bad condition.

It was so quiet—too quiet, even. The silence was going to drive her mad at some point; luckily, though, her phone began to buzz once more and this time she knew she couldn't avoid it. People would worry.

Why, though? She didn't know that.

"Hello?" After lazily pulling the device up to her ear, Himiko answered the call with a mutter that was barely audible.

"Himiko?" The voice answered, and she recognized it as Shuichi. "You didn't answer me the first time…. Is everything alright by you?"

She hesitated in answering, though mostly out of exhaustion. "Nnhh, yeah, I'm okay…. Is Maki with you…?"

"Ah, no," Shuichi replied slowly, as if he was hesitating; Himiko couldn't remember whether that was how he normally sounded or not. "She's coming around here in a bit. You...will too, right? We should all celebrate Christmas together…."

Himiko let out a soft sigh, to which earned her audible movement from the other end. Awkward. "I...I dunno," she finally breathed out.

"I see…."

For a moment, they just sat there. It was quiet, as neither spoke, but soon enough Himiko's quivering voice crackled through the reciever on Shuichi's end.

"I-I miss them, Shuichi…. W-why...did we have to go through that…?" The redhead's voice wavered as she let her thoughts slip from her mouth, each word making the pain in her chest grow tighter. She missed them—all of them.

"S-Shuichi, it's...it's so quiet…. I-I miss Tenko…."

It wasn't hard to tell that Shuichi was struggling to find the right words on the other end; he had never been good at comforting people, after all.

"I...I know," he mumbled, bringing his tone down the slightest bit. "I miss them too, Himiko…. Kaede, Kaito—everyone. But it's gonna be alright. Maki and I are still here, so...talk to us when you need it."

Himiko sniffled, her hands tightening around the phone. She was shaking as she held it to her ear, tears already slipping down her pale cheeks. Shuichi's words were reaching her ear, but they felt...empty. It was like she couldn't force herself to believe that he really was there trying to help her. It all felt so...fake.

"Himiko…?"

Inhaling slowly, the redhead wiped at her eyes to hopefully soothe the puffiness that had begun. "Y-yeah, I'm sorry," she mumbled weakly, her voice still uneven. "I-I know…. It's just...hard. I really...loved Tenko, you know…? But now...she's gone and I...I couldn't even tell her…." She sniffled again, covering her mouth with the sleeve of her sweater. "S-she thought I hated her…."

Shuichi didn't exactly know how to respond to that, instead trying to distract her from the hurt. "How...how about we head over there? It's not too far, and it'll be easier on you. Maki and I can bring over the Christmas stuff and you can just relax, alright? Get a glass of water…."

"...O-okay," Himiko replied, nodding her head despite the fact that she knew the boy couldn't see it. They talked for a little while longer before she hung up the phone, and waited for them; it was dreadful. Not even the silence calmed her—her shaky breaths and sobs just made her feel worse.

Why couldn't she stop? She had been able to bear it all this time, so why now…?

Thankfully, Himiko's thoughts were broken by a knock on the door. She wobbled upon standing, but managed to make her way towards the door and heave it open to be met with Shuichi, and surprisingly Maki as well.

"A-ah…."

"Merry Christmas," Shuichi started, trying to pull a happy atmosphere into the room. Maki followed suit, though hers was a bit less empathetic.

Himiko gave a nod in reply, barely looking them in the eyes as she let them pass, sitting down on the small couch near the entrance. She sat next to them, afraid to say anything now.

"Himiko," Maki started plainly, "we've brought you gifts. Would you like to open them now or later? You're not acting like you."

The redhead flinched; well, Maki was right. She just didn't feel up to the whole 'Christmas Spirit' thing right now. Especially when she felt compelled to just curl up in a ball in her room and cry. "S-sorry," she murmured. "We can open them now if you want…."

Shuichi sighed softly. "Well!" He carefully handed Himiko the present he had gotten her, then gave one to Maki as well. "I'll start. You guys are honestly my best friends, and, well...I don't know what I'd do without you…! Haha…. It's not much, but I hope you guys like them…."

The two looked up at Shuichi, then down at their presents. Paper began to tear slowly, and Himiko pulled out her gift first; it was a small, beaded bracelet that had her name threaded onto it. Maki had a similar one, though hers said 'Makiroll' instead.

Oh, god, she was going to cry again.

Himiko clenched the bracelet in her hand, trembling just a bit as she held back tears. "T-thank you, Shuichi…. S-so much," she mumbled, turning to hug his arm tightly while burying her face in the fabric; the action caught him off-guard, so he was a little stiff, but soon relaxed and comforted her with small strokes of her hair.

The other girl would've denied if you asked, but she was smiling a little bit. It was a small gift, but it meant a lot to the three of them.

The rest of the night was better; they spent time opening gifts, making and drinking hot cocoa, baking sweets, and even talking about the future and past. They comforted each other with their presence while also making known the loss of their other friends.

The Christmas wasn't the best, but it wasn't the worst. Their friends were their in their hearts, and that was all that mattered, wasn't it?

Himiko laughed with her friends while Shuichi was trying not to mess up the drawing he did for a game, Maki only yelling at him to do it better.

It was in moments like these where Himiko found herself thinking, 'Tenko, I wish you were here.'