"Don't you dare eat those bagels. Not even one." Donna preemptively berated her husband, who had admittedly been eyeing up the fresh-out-the-oven pastries, but who hadn't yet moved a muscle. "I feel I'm being judged, charged and executed without having committed any crime!" Harvey huffed, moving two steps away, wiggling his eyebrows at Anna - who squealed and offered him a gummy grin - before bending to absentmindedly ruffle James' untidying mop of curls fondly.
He didn't have to stretch far, as James was in his usual location, sat almost on Harvey's feet - the small tot had taken to following him around like the proverbial puppy since he learnt to scoot on his backside a month ago, much to everyone's amusement. The endearing habit had caused a few crunched-baby-hand near misses, however, until Harvey had learnt to scan the area before taking a step in any direction. By this point he had a sort of James-sonar and instinctively knew when the baby was right behind him without checking.
Donna had stopped in the untying of her apron to lecture him, flour smeared adorably on one cheek and her forehead. Harvey glanced at his watch very obviously - she really didn't have time to stop and harangue him; Mike and Rachel were due in 5 minutes for brunch and the handing back of their twins, who had overnighted at their godparents to give their sleep-deprived parents the chance to snatch some much needed rest.
Donna, however, wasn't about to be knocked off course. "You forget I'm COO at a law firm" she retorted with a smirk before ticking off her fingers "motive part 1: you've been up since 5.30 with a certain beguiling young lady so by your maths it's already past time for breakfast two; motive part 2: your weakness for bagels is well-documented; pattern of behaviour: you've stolen bagels out of the last three batches I made -". "Yes, yes" , Harvey gestured with flappy hands towards the stairs, "I get it, I'm an untrustworthy bagel-guardian, now do you really want Rachel to see you with that flour face powder?".
Donna rolled her eyes, but moved towards the stairs. "I'm still watching you, mister" she called back. "Then" Harvey stage-whispered to the twins who were both watching him enthralled, sensing mischief "this is technically on *her* watch and *my* duty as Chief Guardian of Bagels hasn't yet commenced". He took one, smeared it with cream cheese and grabbed a slice of salmon from Donna's very precisely arranged table spread. By the time the doorbell rang, causing Donna to hurtle back down the stairs, two bagels had disappeared in this manner and a third was distributed in front of two very happy babies in high chairs.
"Harvey!" Donna yelled on seeing her neat brunch layout destroyed with a decrease in bagels and corresponding increase in crumbs. "What?" Harvey shrugged, attempting innocence, but unable to keep a smug smirk off his face. "I warned you -" "to watch the babies -" "I said *bagels* Harvey and you know -", "oh, I very distinctly heard babies. And you're right, they're a pair of rascals. Three bagels - three! And smoked salmon, which you'd think would be hard for infants to grab hold of - vanished the second I turned my back on them." "Gah!" Anna agreed solemnly, raising her hand in an attempt to match Harvey's three outstretched fingers. Donna rolled her eyes, but kissed the little girl on the head, with a whispered "such a clever young lady", before glaring at her husband and more loudly declaring "You're an idiot".
"And getting deaf apparently. Mixing up bagels and babies - tut, tut, not a good sign, old man. I think they have clinics for that." Mike was slouching against the kitchen entranceway with an amused expression. "And *you're* very much inside my house without permission!" Harvey responded tartly. "How? And how long have you been there?".
"Donna gave Rachel a key and you weren't answering your bell - you really do need to get that hearing checked big guy - so I was entitled to let myself in on the grounds that you might have fled to Mexico with my superior-quality offspri -" "Hey! Hotshot!" Donna suddenly interrupted him, stalking over. "You too? Will the goddamn pair of you get out of my kitchen?". Harvey was confused until he spotted the small remains of a fresh bagel in Mike's hand - evidently he'd helped himself to a snack whilst waiting for them to realise he was there.
Mike was grinning, but still took two cautious steps towards the dining table and away from Donna. He suspected she didn't really mind, but he'd been dish-towel whipped by her before for snatching and she had surprisingly fast reflexes. "Where is Rachel?" Donna asked with a sigh. "I simply can't be expected to keep all four of you in line on my own!".
"Very definitely not stealing clippings from your garden" Mike muttered, attempting to grab a banana muffin but finding the plate smartly moved out of his reach. Unfortunately for Donna, out of Mike's reach meant straight into Anna's and the baby didn't hesitate to lean forwards and snare a muffin, waving it proudly at her father. "Good girl!" Harvey and Mike simultaneously laughed. "Oh, for goodness sake!" Donna groaned, before collapsing into a seat in resignation.