in the name of God

disclaimer: I don't own Tolkien's masterpiece. (look at the end of chapter to read author's note)

"You'll never know the psychopath sitting next to you

You'll never know the murderer sitting next to you

You'll think, "How'd I get here, sitting next to you?"

But after all I've said, please don't forget,"

Twenty year old Roxana sang along the song making the offended dwarf mutter in khazdul and stomp off and the son of Denethor going on his never-ending speech of why they shouldn't have dragged an immature, foul-mouthed woman along to a journey of importance that will determine the fate of middle earth. Aragorn on the other hand chose to not comment on it, sending disapproving look at her only when she sang crude songs which made his companions uncomfortable and wince in pain when hobbits pestered him by questioning meanings of the words she said, to his further annoyance she would only smirk, she even taught the hobbits a few lyrics as if it wasn't hard enough to bear with her alone, at least Merry and Pippin were graced by more melodic voices.

Aragorn shook his head and sighed deeply, at least he was faring better than his friend, Legolas. Elves were known to have sensitive ears, prince of Mirkwood tried to sound nonchalant and quickly moved to the head of group every time she started singing, distancing himself from the infuriating girl as much as possible knowing that neither reasoning nor violence would stop her. He had learned it the hard way.

It was one time that Legolas lost his remaining ounce of patience and self control grabbing the girl with her collar and pulling her up to his eye level. "you will stop torturing us with your atrocious voice and stop that devilry mortal, or I'll give you the most painful death,"

"ouch that hurt," she placed her hand over her heart dramatically, smiling.

The small smile left her chopped lips as soon as it came, she stared directly into the eyes of the elf and said in a serious tone of voice"now, put me down and get the fuck away from me," the grip he had around her neck tightened she tried to kick him but he was totally unaffected with her weak blows which only got weaker and weaker as she kept gasping for air. Not that Legolas was really going to kill her he wanted to teach her a lesson, he could of course kill her right then and there if he wished. Ever since she stepped into middle earth she was nothing but disrespectful and ignorant, she even once threatened to side with their enemy! If they didn't find a way to send her back to her home, she later on said she didn't mean anything by it but he was an elf and much like rest of his kin he could see darkness within mortal's feä festering into her heart even if she was unaware of it. He knew she would have betrayed them without a second thought if it meant she could go back to her world. So to take her unjustified revenge she did everything in her ability to make their lives harde than it was. To her they were just fictional characters. Her vision went blurry with tears and her lips turned blue as she managed to say "he.. help ..me.."

But no help came to her, even the wizard who insisted on bringing her to journey continued walking as if nothing had happened and others knew well enough not to be on path of a raging warrior but when all hopes seemed lost for her the miracle happened.

Her phone fell from her limp hand playing a rather loud metal song, the elf dropped her and covered his ears, trying to block the awful sound, Eru knows that it was worse than hearing Nazguls screeching, meanwhile our dear Roxana coughed to regain her breath only to feel breathless from laughing so hard at the pained expression on the Elf's face. If it wasn't for the blade pressed to her throat, threatening to cut it open, she would have let the elf suffer longer. "oh wow... calm the fuck down man.. it was just a heavy metal ... not my fault... he dropped it... see... it's all done it's silent now," she picked her phone and earphones. Dusting off her pants, she walked away from the a glaring future king and a still recovering elf. As she put her earphones back in her ears in a safe distance from them she yelled back at them"You should be happy I didn't go all Bruce li on his royal ass," None of what she said made sense to them Aragorn shook his head, she was bluffing.

After that no one wanted to mess with her possessed devices. Especially this 'heavy metal' that could take down thousands year old elven warrior. Maybe except for Gimli who was most curious about it.

Roxana glanced at her phone there was only ten percentage of battery left she should find a way to rub it on Gandalf's staff again. It shocked her that it could actually charge her phone she learned it when in Rivendell Gandalf whacked her awake when she refused to go to training field one morning, she yawned and went to retrieve her canteen only to find it empty, she waved the empty canteen around "hey I want some water." Aragorn looked at her with a raised eyebrow, "we won't be near any river bank for another two days, you must have used it wisely,"

"but no one told me so," she argued, crossing her arms over he chest.

"it was only common sense, you could have preserved your strength and ceased harrowing us by your singing," Aragorn said sneering making her flush of embarrassment, for a moment he thought he caught a glint of hurt in her dark brown eyes and regret his harsh words. She presented him with her middle finger not being able to come up with any retort as her brain was too dehydrated. She cleared her throat, mentally smacked herself as she swallowed painfully. she sniffed making her dry lips quiver in disgust as the smell of sweat filled her nostrils. Another two days of not getting any bath, she hated middle earth.

So at night when everyone went to sleep and it was her turn to stand guard she tiptoed towards where Bill the pony was sleeping and found a canteen that did actually smell nice. Well the dwarf's breath smelled probably as bad as an orc's. The wizard seemed to hardly bother himself with water "probably because he can't piss with the long skirt of his," she muttered to herself, Aragorn always kept his canteen with himself. She could not risk getting near the ranger or the elf since they were light sleepers and she had no wish to die, not yet at least, plus watching someone sleeping with their eyes open creeped the shit out of her. The elf hardly ever got tired, hungry or thirsty. it only fuelled her annoyance and anger for the elf. She could easily use the hobbits' but she took pity in the poor little fellows this journey was as hard to them as it was to her. There was no way she would place her lips the same place the Bromir had put his "that sexist little fucker," the feminist in her nagged. She didn't know whose canteen it was but feeling all her internal organs protest in dehydration she took a big gulp, savouring the weird flavour when a wave of giddiness washed over her.

Needless to say she managed to wake every living in in the area by screaming about how Sauron would make a perfect boyfriend. No one should blame her that she couldn't tell some strong beverage of elves from water or that she had tolerance of a new born baby. Damn the elves. last thing she saw before blacking out was wrinkly face of a furious wizard and a staff advanced towards her head.

flashback

The smell of formaldehyde filled her nostrils making her empty stomach churn as she looked down at the first stage of exam. She narrowed her eyes and dug her fingers into the cadaver making sure that she wasn't mistaking vagus and phernic nerves, pulling and cutting a piece of nerve with her glove. She was not supposed to pull it that hard but she was too stressed to think about it beforehand she ruined the sample 'oh god I'm going to fail'' she could feel bile rising to back of her throat, there was no way she would admit this to her professors and let them lower her perfect grade. she'd lie shamelessly, yes that was the plan even if her classmates' grades would decrease. Wondering for the hundredth time that semester why she chose medicine, she wrote the answer down hurriedly moving to the next table as she felt the earth beneath her tremble and a thick fog surrounding her, she pulled down her face mask as she gasped for air, shutting her eyes as the fog made her eyes sting. she could hear the voice of her professor calling her name but it only got more distant.

When she opened her eyes she was in middle of the infamous council of Lord Elrond with a very much alive version of Gimli on his bottom holding a shattered axe.

Of course she couldn't believe it first, no she wasn't a dumb Mary sue and no she didn't jump on Legolas' lap. Everything sounded so surreal, she had her few guesses.

1- possibility number one: she just slipped on floor of examination hall, it was her mind playing tricks on her in coma, or simply she died and was a ghost, but after she slapped her face across cheek with her sticky wet glove to check if she could feel pain she knew it wasn't the story. she indeed felt pain not from the pathetic excuse for a slap but because she disgusted the hell out of herself making her scream "I'VE GOT DEAD ON MY FACE," sounding more like a complete mental. Everyone eyed her with look of bewilderment on their faces.

2- Possibility number two: she had finally lost her sanity and was thrown into an asylum and these people were just hallucination she knew some therapies made you lose some parts of your memory especially the electrical ones. however when she managed to cut her finger with shreds of the Gimil's axe she knew it wasn't the story either. No asylum would easily let mental people near any sort of sharp things, She jumped up and down, screaming and holding her injured finger. Somehow she managed to trip over he own feet and whimper in pain as she fell on some guy, she slowly raised her eyes to look into eyes of a very angry looking Elrond-like person. No hallucination was this solid "Are you sure this is the one, Mithrandir?" The stern looking Elrond said, gazing down at the cursing young girl. She was not but a child.

"Yes I suppose she is the one," Roxana raised her head to look at an old man towering over her, leaning on a staff, his long grey beard reached his waist. "Although I didn't expect this to be the heavenly white attire," he said grumpily Pointing to her long white lab dress with his staff. "Aye and she doesn't exactly smell heavenly," An elf exclaimed scrunching his perfectly straight slim nose up in distaste making a very furious looking Roxana stand and walk over to his seat which wasn't the smartest thing to do since the guy stood as tall as her even from his position on chair "you may be result of my psychotic mind on LSD but you have absolutely no reason to bitch about my uniform," she could see confusion flicking in his otherworldly eyes but then it was replaced with anger as her words sank in. 'The freaking contacts they make are creepy craps' she wondered briefly. She could see a muscle in his defined jaw twitch. she smirked even though she was on verge of tears and mental breakdown.

"it's certainly not the most appropriate attire, have seen men dressing more respectfully," came from a very Bromir-like person as he eyed her tight jeans, she simply flipped him off, everyone's eyes went wide,"Gandalf she did as the prophecy described it, she did that with her finger," Roxana whirled around to look down a child like figure with startling blue eyes looking up at her, she shrieked and jumped back.

3-possiblity number three: they were cos players, a bunch of freaking circus. yup it was just one of those hidden cameras shows, they deserved an Oscar for their performance and whoever did the beauty surgery for some of them had probably the hand of God. she took a deep breath to calm her nerves before screaming at top of her lungs "YOU FREAKING SADISTIC BASTARDS END THIS SHIT THIS INSTANT, I'LL BE SEEING YOU IN COURT YOU SONS OF BITCHES YOU DID IT WITHOUT MY CONSENT.." a string of colourful curses left her mouth as she pointed her accusing finger at ceiling before she could disrespect these honourable men even more Gandalf decided it was the end of it. She was stopped by Gandalf booming voice "SILENCE YOU FOOLISH CHILD," she saw him growing taller and the room growing darker, that was when realization hit her hard.

it was possibility number 4- she was dead.

but what did she do wrong to be thrown into a world full of evil and narcissist elves and perverted men? with no toilet papers?

An image of leaving the damaged cadaver flashed through her mind, she throw up all over the floor before passing out.

Lord Elrond was rubbing his forehead he knew the very moment his eyes fell on her that she was certainly not their saviour as the prophecy said. There was no way Lords of imladris would allow her to stay in Rivendell and since the power of ring brought her to this world when Gimli assaulted the ring, it was beyond him or anyone else to send her back. She should join the fellowship of ring.

Author's note: hello dear readers, I hope you've enjoyed reading the first chapter. I'll be continuing writing the story if it gets positive feedbacks, I'll be glad to hear your thoughts on story! If there's any error please tell me to make it right.

Reviews are appreciated!

The song at the beginning of story is heathens by twenty one pilots.

this is my first fanfiction and I was inspired to write this after reading the reasons why not to join fellowship.