Magolor's Coffeehouse (Season Two), a kirby fanfic

WARNING: In order to fully enjoy this episode of Magolor's Coffeehouse, have the full album of Neil Cicierega's Mouth Moods on standby. You'll know when to play it.

(Disclaimer: Negative aspects of a story will be exaggerated for comedic purposes. Just because a story is constantly ridiculed does not mean that it is bad. Any Fanfiction that is good will be praised by the end.)

Magolor's Coffeehouse: Season Two

Episode 01: Kirby and the Legendary Crystal Princess by KIrbyPwnz1234

TinyURL: y38kpcfu

"Hello, everyone!" Magolor beamed, waving to the audience. "I'm Magolor, and welcome to season two of Magolor's Coffeehouse!"

"Oh my goodness, when I first began reviewing fanfiction, I never thought I would be doing it this long. I also never thought you guys would enjoy it so much, either. Anyway, I've decided to treat you all by reviewing a story that everyone can agree is great: this."

Kirby & the Legendary Crystal Princess: An RPG Tale

By: KirbyPwnz1234

My friends and I were visited by a human princess of Crystal Star named Kailaine one day. Initially, things were fantastic- until abruptly we were attacked by a matter most dark and whisked Kailaine away; worse, everyone on Popstar suddenly became humans! Chaos ensued as we set off to save her on the way, but I'd never thought that we're gonna be in for a bad time in this RPG tale!

"And yes, I know the story isn't finished, so I'm just gonna review the first three parts of this story, or 'acts,' as they're called in the story. Think of it as a gift, from me to you, for all the love and support you've given me throughout my time as a reviewer. Anyway, enough rambling, let's get started! This is…"

...the story of a girl...

This is the story of a girl...

It's been one week since you've looked at me...

This is the story of a girl...

It's been one week since you've looked at me...

This is the story of a girl...

It's been one week since you've looked at me...

This is the story of a girl...

Somebody once told me...

This is the story of a girl...

It's been one week since you've looked at me...

This is the story of a girl...

Somebody once told me...

This is the story of a girl...

It's been one week since you've looked at me...

(The world is a vampire...)

This is the story of a girl...

Somebody once told me...

This is the story of a girl...

It's been one week since you've looked at me...

(The world is a vampire...)

This is the story of a girl...

Somebody once told me...

(I got another confession to make...)

This is the story of a girl...

It's been one week since you've looked at me...

(The world is a vampire...)

This is the story of a girl...

Somebody once told me...

(I got another confession to make...)

This is the story of a girl...

It's been one week since you've looked at me...

(The world is a vampire...)

This is the story of a girl...

Somebody once told me...

(I got another confession to make...)

This is the story of a girl...

It's been one week since you've looked at me...

(The world is a vampire...)

This is the story of a girl...

Somebody once told me...

(I got another confession to make...)

This is the story of a girl...

It's been one week since you've looked at me...

(The world is a vampire...)

This is the story of a girl...

Some...

This is how we do it...

Hey!

Ow!

This is how we do it

Sha la la la la la lo!

Uh!

This is how we do it

Hey!

Shabada lo lo lo whoa!

Ow!

This is how we do it

Lo lo lo low-oh-oh!

Uh!

This is how we do it...

Can't touch this...

Reluctantly crouched at the starting line...

Somebody once told me...

This is how we do it

Sha la la la la la lo!

Uno, dos, one, two, tres, quatro...

Ow!

This is how we do it...

Shabada lo lo lo whoa!

Reluctantly crouched at the starting line...

This is the story of a girl...

Somebody once told me...

This is how we do it...

Lo lo lo low-oh-oh!

This is the story of a girl...

Uno, dos, one, two, tres, quatro...

Uh!

This is the story of a girl...

This is how we do it...

Hey!

We know where we're going...

This is...

The world is a vampire...

It's been...

We know where we're going...

This is...

The world is a vampire...

Some...

We know where we're going...

This is...

The world is a vampire...

Can't touch this...

We know where we're going...

This is...

The world is a...

Ooh oooah

Some...

Story of a girl...

This is the story of a girl...

Somebody once told me...

(I got another confession to make...)

This is the story of a girl...

It's been one week since you've looked at me...

This is the story of a girl...

One, two, three, uh!

(I got another confession to make...)

This is the story of a girl...

Ooh oooah

It's been one week since you've looked at me...

This is the story of a girl...

Somebody once told me...

(I got another confession to make...)

This is the story of a girl...

It's been one week since you've looked at me...

This is...

Everybody dance now!

One, two, three, uh!

Hey!

We know where we're going...

Reluctantly crouched at the starting line...

This is...

The world is a vampire...

Can't touch this...

Ow!

We know where we're going...

Uno, dos, one, two, tres, quatro...

This is...

The world is a vampire...

Some...

We know where we're going...

Reluctantly crouched at the starting line...

This is...

The world is a vampire...

Can't touch this...

Ow!

We know where we're going...

Uno, dos, one, two, tres, quatro...

This is...

The world is a...

This is how we do it...

Ooh oooah

Some...

Story of a girl...

This is the story of a girl...

This is how we do it...

This is the story of a girl...

Ow!

It's been one week since you've looked at me...

Lo lo lo low-oh-oh!

This is the story of a girl...

This is how we do it...

Ooh oooah

This is the story of a girl...

Uh!

It's been one week since you've looked at me...

This is the story of a girl...

This is how we do it...

This is the story of a girl...

Ow!

It's been one week since you've looked at me...

Lo lo lo low-oh-oh!

This is the story of a girl...

Some...

Let the bodies hit the floor

Let the bodies hit the

Bodies hit the

Bodies hit the floor

Let the bodies hit the floor

Let the bodies hit the

Bodies hit the

Bodies hit the floor

Here we go, here we go, here we go now

One

(Nothing wrong with me)

Two

(Nothing wrong with me)

Three

(Nothing wrong with me)

Four

(Nothing wrong with me)

One

(Something's got to give)

Two

(Something's got to give)

Three

(Something's got to give)

Let the bodies hit the floor

Let the body bo-body body bo-body

Let the bodies hit the floor

Let the body bo-body body bo-body body bo-bo-bo

Let the bodies hit the floor

Let the bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-floor

Let the bodies hit the floor

Let the bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo

Push me again

This is the end

Here we go, here we go, here we go now

One

(Nothing wrong with me)

Two

(Nothing wrong with me)

Three

(Nothing wrong with me)

Four

(Nothing wrong with me)

One

(Something's got to give)

Two

(Something's got to give)

Three

(Something's got to give)

Let the bodies hit the floor

Let the bodies hit the

Bodies hit the

Bodies hit the floor

Let the bodies hit the floor

Let the bodies hit the

Bodies hit the

Bodies hit the floor

Don't

Cry

Bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo

Don't

Cry

Bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo

Let the bodies hit the floor

Let the bodies hit the

Bodies hit the

Bodies hit the floor

Let the bodies hit the floor

Let the bodies hit the

Bodies hit the

Bodies hit the floor

Let the bo...

Let the bodies hit the floor

[Intro to Vanessa Carlton's "A Thousand Miles"]

Back in black I hit the sack

It's been too long I'm glad to be back

(Yes I'm) I'm let loose from the noose

That's kept me hanging around

I'm just looking at the sky cause it's gettin' me high

Forget the hearse cause I'll never die

I got nine lives, cat's eyes

Abusin' every one of them and runnin' wild

Cause I'm back

Yes I'm back

Ooh I'm back mama

Yes I'm back

Ooh I'm back, back mama

Back in black

Well I'm back in black

Back, back

Back mama, back mama

Back in the back of a Cadillac

Number one with a bullet I'm a power pack

I'm in a bang with the gang

They've got to catch me if they want me to hang

Well I'm back on the track and I'm beatin' the flack

Nobody's gonna get me on another rap

So look at me now I'm just makin' my play

Push your luck and get out of my way

Cause I'm back

Yes I'm back

Ooh I'm back mama

Yes I'm back

Ooh I'm back, back mama

Back in black

Well I'm back in black

Back, back mama

I'm back in black

Well I'm back in black

Yeah

Ooh yeah

Yeah

'Cause I'm back, back

Back mama, back mama

'Cause I'm back, back mama

Back in black

Well I'm back in black

Back, back, back, back (mama)

Back mama, back mama

Back in black, yeah

(Back in black, yeah)

Yeah

[Outro to Vanessa Carlton's "A Thousand Miles"]

Ladies and gentlemen

Three hundred megabytes of hard drive capacity!

Three hundred megabytes of storage capacity!

That's right, three hundred megabytes of hard drive capacity!

Think about the value and the usage of a computer with a three hundred megabyte hard drive

What can that do for you?

Uh, sky's the limit

The sky is the limit

When you're thinking about the capacity of a hard drive of that size

It's as if you have three hundred huge file cabinets

Three hundred file cabinets of storage capacity!

That's right

The biggest arena of computers today, the biggest arena, is in the CD-ROMs

It's the biggest growing sector of computers, and it is not going to stop

It is not going to stop

It is not a fad

Ladies and gentlemen, it's tomorrow, today

There's 26 volumes of an encyclopedia on one disk, on one CD disk!

That's right, we're talking about nine million words just for starters on that disk

That's on one disk!

You couldn't get close to that on a floppy disk

Nine million megabytes!

This comes with the CD-ROM built in

Ladies and gentlemen, this is "Mambo Number 5..." number 5... number 5... number 5... number 5... number 5... number 5... number 5... number 5... number 5... number 5... number 5... number 5... number 5... number 5... number 5... number 5... number 5... number 5... number 5... number 5...

[Backwards] Happy Easter Xbox

A long long time ago the earth was ruled by dinosaurs

Then somethin' happened

A giant meteorite struck the earth

Goodbye dinosaurs

It was a night like this forty million years ago

I lit a cigarette, picked up a monkey skull to go

The sun was spitting fire, the sky was blue as ice

I felt a little tired, so I watched Miami Vice

I walked the dinosaur, I walked the dinosaur

Open the door, get on the floor

Everybody walk the dinosaur

Open the door, get on the floor

Everybody walk the dinosaur

Boom boom acka lacka lacka boom

Boom boom acka lacko boom boom

Boom boom acka lacka lacka boom

Boom boom acka lacko boom boom

I met you in a cave, you were painting buffalo

I said I'd be your slave, follow wherever you go

That night we split a rattlesnake and danced beneath the stars

You fell asleep, I stayed awake and watched the passing cars

And walked the dinosaur, I walked a dinosaur

Open the door, get on the floor

Everybody walk the dinosaur

Open the door, get on the floor

Everybody walk the dinosaur

Open the door, get on the floor

Everybody walk the dinosaur

Open the door, get on the floor

Everybody walk the dinosaur

Open the door, get on the floor

Everybody walk the dinosaur

A shadow from the sky, much too big to be a bird

A screaming, crashing noise louder than I've ever heard

It looked like two big silver trees that somehow learned to soar

Suddenly a summer breeze and a mighty lion's roar

I killed a dinosaur, I killed a dinosaur

Open the door, get on the floor

Everybody kill the dinosaur

Open the door, get on the floor

Everybody walk the dinosaur

(Dinosaur)

Boom boom acka lacka lacka boom

Boom boom acka lacko boom boom

Boom boom acka lacka lacka boom

Boom boom acka lacko boom boom

Boom boom acka lacka lacka boom

Boom boom acka lacko boom boom

Welcome to Larry King Live!

How do you explain Tim Allen?

[Theme from *Home Improvement*]

Oh-wa-ah-ah-ah! Ugh ugh! [loops]

Dooby-dooby-dub-dub-dub, ah [loops]

Phil Collins is next!

["In the Air Tonight" drum break]

Da boom na da noom na namena! [loops]

[Belch]

[Instrumental from "In The Summertime"]

Oh-wa-ah-ah-ah! Ugh ugh! [loops]

Dooby-dooby-dub-dub-dub, ah [loops]

Dah dah dah-dah dah, dee dee dee-dee dee [loops]

Right on

D'oh d'oh d'oh-d'oh d'oh

Fwssh fwssh fwssh

All I wanna do is...

D'oh d'oh d'oh d'oh

And a...

Yeah baby!

And take your money [x3]

["In the Air Tonight" drum fill]

Da boom na da noom na namena! [loops]

EARGH? [loops]

Doo doo doo doo [loops]

[All samples loop]

Du hast

Du hast mich

All I wanna do is...

[4x dog sound effects]

And a...

[Yoshi sound effect]

[Cat sound effect]

And take your money [x2]

All I wanna do is...

Oh-wa-ah-ah

And a...

Ugh ugh!

[Drum roll from "In the Air Tonight"]

And take your money

Da boom na da noom na... SHIKAKA! [loops]

[Opening riff of "Basketcase"]

[Theme from *Home Improvement*]

God damn it lady, you know I ain't lying to ya

I'm only gonna tell you one time

Dooby-dooby-dub-dub-dub, ah [loops]

Aah-yeah! Woo! [Loops]

Oh-wa-ah-ah-ah! Ugh ugh! [loops]

I can't wait to read this book. They tell me there's a story in the book about you having sex with a ghost?

Oh boy, yeah, this was at a time when I was filming Ghostbusters

[Fades into "Bustin"]

If there's somethin' strange sleepin' in your bed

Lemme tell you somethin'

If there's somethin weird sleepin' in your bed, ow!

Lemme tell you somethin'

Bustin' makes me feel good

Bustin', bustin', bustin', bustin', bustin', bustin', bustin', bustin', bustin', bustin', bustin', bustin', bustin', bustin', bustin', bustin', bustin', bustin', bustin', bustin', bustin', bustin', bu-bu-bustin'

If you're seein' things sleepin' in your bed

Yeah yeah yeah yeah!

An invisible man sleepin' in your bed, ow!

Lemme tell you somethin'

Ow! Yeah yeah yeah!

Bustin', bustin', bustin', bustin', bustin', bustin', bustin', bustin', bustin', bustin', bustin', bustin', bustin', bustin', bustin' makes me feel good, feel good, feel good, feel good, feel good, feel good, feel good

(Yeah yeah yeah!)

Bustin', bustin', bustin', bustin', bustin', bustin' bustin', bustin'

(Yeah yeah yeah!)

Bustin', bustin', bustin', bustin', bustin', bustin', bustin' makes me

(Yeah yeah yeah!)

Feel good, feel good, feel good, feel good

(Yeah yeah yeah!)

Feel good, feel good, feel good

Uh, freaky ghost baby

Uh, freaky ghost man

Uh, freaky man baby

Uh, Ow! Ow! Ow!

If you're all alone, lemme sleep in your bed, ow!

(Snoring)

Lemme tell you somethin', sleepin' makes me feel good

(Snoring)

I ain't afraid of no sleep, I ain't afraid of no bed

An invisible bed, freaky ghost bed

Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah

(Yeah yeah yeah!)

Bustin', bustin', bustin', bustin', bustin', bustin' bustin', bustin'

(Yeah yeah yeah!)

Bustin', bustin', bustin', bustin', bustin', bustin', bustin' makes me

(Yeah yeah yeah!)

Feel good, feel good, feel good, feel good

(Yeah yeah yeah!)

Feel good, feel good, bustin' makes me

(Feel Good)

Blockbuster Video offers a great selection of restricted movies, inappropriate for viewers under 17, and provides computerized enforcement.

You decide what kind of videos you want to watch, and Blockbuster Video enforces your wishes.

A scrub is a guy that thinks he's fly

He's also known as a busta

Always talkin' about what he wants

And just sits on his broke ass

So no, I don't want your number

No, I don't want to give you mine and

No, I don't want to meet you nowhere

No, I don't want none of your time and

No, I don't want no scrubs

A scrub is a guy that can't get no love from me

Hangin' out the passenger side

Of his best friend's ride

Trying to holla at me

I don't want no scrubs

A scrub is a guy that can't get no love from me

Hangin' out the passenger side

Of his best friend's ride

Trying to holla at me

Album Mouth Moods

[Purring]

Risin' up, back on the street

Did my time, took my chances

Went the distance, now I'm back on my feet

Just a man and his tiger [Growling]

So many tigers, it happens to tigers

You trade your passion for glory

Don't lose your grip on the tiger's dreams

You must fight just to keep them alive

It's the eye! Of the tiger

[Mario Paint 'meow' sound effect] [Growling]

The eye! Of the tiger

[Mario Paint 'meow' sound effect] [Growling]

Face to face, out in the heat

Hangin' tough, with the tiger (they're grrrrrrreat!)

They stack the odds 'till we take to the street

For the tiger with the skill to survive

It's the eye of the tiger

It's the thrill of the tiger

Rising up to the challenge of our tiger (they're grrrrrrreat!)

And the last known survivor stalks his prey in the night

And he's watching us all with the eye!

Of the tiger!

[Mario Paint 'meow' sound effect] [Growling]

The eye! Of the tiger

[Mario Paint 'meow' sound effect] [Growling]

Tiger!

Risin' up, straight to the top

Got the guts, got the tiger

Went the distance, now I'm not gonna stop

Just a man (they're grrrrrrreat!) Just a tiger-man

It's the eye of the tiger

It's the thrill of the fight

Rising up to the tiger of our tiger

And the- tiger stalks his prey in the night

And he's watching us all with the eye!

Of the tiger! [Growls]

[Tiger growling] (they're grrrrrrreat!)

The eye of the tiger! (they're grrrrrrreat!)

The eye of the tiger-er-er!

The eye of the tiger![Growling]

The eye of the tiger!

They're grrrrrrr-

-rrrreat!

(It starts with one)

One thing, I don't know why

It doesn't even matter how hard you try

Keep that in mind I designed this rhyme to explain in due time

(All I know)

Time is a valuable thing

Watch it fly by as the pendulum swings

Watch it count down to the end of the day

The clock ticks life away

(It's so unreal)

Didn't look out below, watched the time go right out the window

Trying to hold on, didn't even know

I wasted it all just to watch you go

I kept everything inside

And even though I tried it all fell apart

What it meant to me will eventually be a memory of a time when I

I tried so hard and got so far

But in the end, it doesn't even matter

I had to fall to lose it all

But in the end it doesn't even matter

One thing, I don't know why

It doesn't even matter how hard you try

Keep that in mind, I designed this rhyme to remind myself how

(I tried so hard)

In spite of the way you were mocking me

Acting like I was part of your property

Remembering all the times you fought with me

I'm surprised it got so far

Things aren't the way they were before

You wouldn't even recognize me anymore

Not that you knew me back then

But it all comes back to me in the end

I kept everything inside and even though I tried, it all fell apart

What it meant to me will eventually be a

Memory of a time when I (tried so hard)

I tried so hard and got so far

But in the end, it doesn't even matter

I had to fall to lose it all

But in the end it doesn't even matter

I put my trust in you

Pushed as far as I can go

For all this

There's only one thing you should know

I put my trust in you

Pushed as far as I can go

For all this

There's only one thing you should know

I tried so hard and got so far

But in the end, it doesn't even matter

I had to fall to lose it all

But in the end it doesn't even matter

(It doesn't even matter how hard you try)

I tried so hard

(I don't know why)

(It doesn't even matter how hard you try)

Hi, my name is... (my name is...)

What? (what, what, what)

Who? (who, who, who)

What? (what, what, what)

Who? (Who, who, who)

Hi...

Who?

My name is...

What?

Slim Shady... (Slim Shady)

What?

Young man, there's no need to feel down

I said, young man, pick yourself off the ground

I said, young man, 'cause you're in a new town

There's no need to be unhappy

Young man, there's a place you can go

I said, young man, when you're short on your dough

You can stay there, and I'm sure you will find

Many ways to have a good time

It's fun to stay at the Y.M.C.A

They have everything for you men to enjoy

You can hang out with all the boys

It's fun to stay at the Y.M.C.A

You can get yourself clean, you can have a good meal

You can do whatever you feel

Young man, are you listening to me?

I said, young man, what do you want to be?

I said, young man, you can make real your dreams

But you got to know this one thing

No man does it all by himself

I said, young man, put your pride on the shelf

And just go there, to the Y.M.C.A

I'm sure they can help you today

It's fun to stay at the Y.M.C.A

They have everything for you men to enjoy

You can hang out with all the boys

It's fun to stay at the Y.M.C.A

You can get yourself clean, you can have a good meal

You can do whatever you feel

Young man, I was once in your shoes

I said, I was down and out with the blues

I felt no man cared if I were alive

I felt the whole world was so jive

That's when someone came up to me

And said, young man, take a walk up the street

There's a place there called the Y.M.C.A

They can start you back on your way

Y.M.C.A

It's fun to stay at the Y.M.C.A

They have everything for you men to enjoy

You can hang out with all the boys

Y.M.C.A... It's fun to stay at the Y.M.C.A

Young man, young man, there's no need to feel down

Young man, young man, get yourself off the ground

Y.M.C.A... It's fun to stay at the Y.M.C.A

No man, young man, does it all by himself

Young man, young man, put your pride on the shelf

Y.M.C.A... Y.M.C.A

[whistling to the tune of Smash Mouth's "All Star"]

[An instrumental of "Oh, Canada" plays over panicked breathing and a rapid heartbeat]

It's been one week since you looked at me

Cocked your head to the side and said, "I'm angry"

Five days since you laughed at me, saying

"Get back together, come back and save me"

Three days since the living room

I realized it's all my fault, but couldn't tell you

Yesterday, you'd forgiven me

But it'll still be two days 'til I say I'm sorry

Hold it now and watch the hoodwink

As I make you stop, think

You'll think you're looking at Aquaman

I summon fish to the dish, although I like the Chalet Swiss

I like the sushi 'cause it's never touched a frying pan

Hot like wasabi when I bust rhymes

Big like LeAnn Rimes, because I'm all about value

Bert Kaempfert's got the mad hits

You try to match wits, you try to hold me but I bust through

Gonna make a break and take a fake

I'd like a stinking aching shake

I like vanilla, it's the finest of the flavours

Gotta see the show, 'cause then you'll know

The vertigo is gonna grow

'Cause it's so dangerous, you'll have to sign a waiver

How can I help it if I think you're funny when you're mad?

Trying hard not to smile, though I feel bad

I'm the kind of guy who laughs at a funeral

Can't understand what I mean? Well, you soon will

I have a tendency to wear my mind on my sleeve

I have a history of taking off my shirt

It's been one week since you looked at me

Threw your arms in the air and said, "You're crazy"

Five days since you tackled me

I've still got the rug burns on both my knees

It's been three days since the afternoon

You realized it's not my fault not a moment too soon

Yesterday, you'd forgiven me

And now I sit back and wait til you say you're sorry

It's... it's been, it's... been

Chickity China, the Chinese chicken

You have a drumstick and your brain stops tickin'

Watching X-Files with no lights on

We're dans la maison

I hope the Smoking Man's in this one

Like Harrison Ford, I'm getting frantic

Like Sting, I'm tantric

Like Snickers, guaranteed to satisfy

Like Kurasawa, I make mad films, okay, I don't make films

But if I did they'd have a Samurai

Gonna get a set of better clubs

Gonna find the kind with tiny nubs

Just so my irons aren't always flying off the back-swing

Gotta get in tune with Sailor Moon

'Cause that cartoon has got the boom anime babes

That make me think the wrong thing

How can I help it if I think you're funny when you're mad?

Trying hard not to smile, though I feel bad

I'm the kind of guy who laughs at a funeral

Can't understand what I mean? You soon will

I have a tendency to wear my mind on my sleeve

I have a history of losing my shirt

It's been one week since you looked at me

Dropped your arms to your sides and said, "I'm sorry"

Five days since I laughed at you and said

"You just did just what I thought you were gonna do"

Three days since the living room

We realized we're both to blame but what could we do?

Yesterday, you just smiled at me

'Cause it'll still be two days 'til we say we're sorry

It'll still be two days 'til we say we're sorry

It'll still be two days 'til we say "Wasabi"

Birchmount Stadium, home of the Robbie

It's been

It's been... It's been... It's been, It's been, It's been

It's been

It's, It's, It's been

It's been, It's been...

This life ain't good enough, I

(It's been) my world to lift you up, I

(It's been) my life to better suit your mood

'Cause you're so smooth

(It's been) just like the ocean under the moon

(It's been) same as the emotion that I get from (Harrison Ford!)

You got the kind of lovin' that can be so smooth, yeah

Give me your heart, make it real or else forget about it

(Chickety China, the Chinese chicken, chickety China, the Chinese chicken...)

(Harrison Ford, Harrison Ford, Harrison Ford...)

(Oh, let's not forget about it!)

It's been one week since you looked at me

Cocked your head to the side and said "I'm angry"

Five days since you laughed at me, saying

"Get that together, come back and see me"

Three days since the living room

I realized it's all my fault, but couldn't tell you

Yesterday you'd forgiven me

But it'll still be two days 'til I say I'm sorry

Hold it now and watch the hoodwink

As I make you stop, think

You'll think you're looking at Aquaman

I summon fish to the dish

Although I like the Chalet Swiss

I like the sushi 'cause it's never touched a frying pan

Hot like wasabi when I bust rhymes

Big like LeAnn Rimes

Because I'm all about value

Bert Kaempfert's got the mad hits

You try to match wits

You try to hold me but I bust through

Gonna make a break and take a fake

I'd like a stinking aching shake

I like vanilla, it's the finest of the flavours

Gotta see the show, 'cause then you'll know

The vertigo is gonna grow

'Cause it's so dangerous

You'll have to sign a waiver

How can I help it if I think you're funny when you're mad?

Trying hard not to smile though I feel bad

I have a tendency to wear my mind on my sleeve

I have a history of taking off my shirt

It's been one week since you looked at me

Threw your arms in the air

And said "You're crazy"

Five days since you tackled me

I've still got the rug burns on both my knees

It's been three days since the afternoon

You realized it's not my fault

Not a moment too soon

Yesterday you'd forgiven me

And now I sit back and wait til you say you're sorry

Chickity China, the Chinese chicken

You have a drumstick and your brain stops tickin'

Watching X-Files with no lights on

We're dans la maison

I hope the Smoking Man's in this one

Like Harrison Ford I'm getting frantic

Like Sting I'm tantric

Like Snickers, guaranteed to satisfy

Like Kurasawa I make mad films

Okay, I don't make films

But if I did they'd have a Samurai

Gonna get a set of better clubs

Gonna find the kind with tiny nubs

Just so my irons aren't always flying off the back-swing

Gotta get in tune with Sailor Moon

'Cause that cartoon has got the boom anime babes

That make me think the wrong thing

How can I help it if I think you're funny when you're mad

Trying hard not to smile though I feel bad

I have a tendency to wear my mind on my sleeve

I have a history of losing my shirt

It's been one week since you looked at me

Dropped your arms to your sides

And said "I'm sorry"

Five days since I laughed at you and said

"You just did just what I thought you were gonna do"

Three days since the living room

We realized we're both to blame

But what could we do?

Yesterday you just smiled at me

'Cause it'll still be two days 'til we say we're sorry

It'll still be two days 'til we say we're sorry

It'll still be two days 'til we say wasabi

Birchmount Stadium, home of the Robbie

Today is gonna be the day

That they're gonna throw it back to you

By now you should have somehow

Realised what you gotta do

I don't believe that anybody

Feels the way I do about you now

Backbeat, the word is on the street

That the fire in your heart is out

I'm sure you've heard it all before

But you never really had a doubt

I don't believe that anybody

Feels the way I do about you now

Maybe you're gonna be the one that saves me

You're my wonderwall, wonderwall

Maybe you're gonna be the one that saves me

You're my wonderwall, wonderwall

(Short "Wa-" solo)

And all the roads we have to walk are winding

And all the lights that lead us there are blinding

There are many things that I

Would like to say to you

But I don't know how

Maybe you're gonna be the one that saves me

You're my wonderwall, wonderwall

Maybe you're gonna be the one that saves me

You're my wonderwall, wonderwall

Today was gonna be the day

But they'll never throw it back to you

By now you should've somehow

Realized what you're not to do

I don't believe that anybody

Feels the way I do, about you now

Maybe you're gonna be the one that saves me

You're my wonderwall, wonderwall

Maybe you're gonna be the one that saves me

You're my wonderwall, wonderwall

And after all (wonderwall)

You're my wonderwall (wonderwall)

And after all (wonderwall)

You're my wonderwall (wonderwall)

And after all

Wa—

Some-

People call me the space cowboy

(wicky wicky)

(wicky wicky) Cowboy

Wicky wicky wow, wicky wow, wicky wicky

Wild Wild Wild Wild Wild West

Desperado, Rough Rider

No, you don't want nada

Nada dis six gun in dis

Brother, runnin' this

Buffalo buffalo buffalo lololololololo

(wicky) Any damsel that's in distress

Be outta distress when she meet Jim Dress

Roughneck, so go check the roughneck, so go

Watch your step, we'll flex and get a hold of your dress

Swallow your buffalo, don't let your neck react

You don't wanna see my hand where my hand be at

When James Dress from the start of this, runnin' the game

Artemis, tamin' the west, so remember the James!

Now who you gonna call? wicky wicky BEES

Now who you gonna call? You don't wanna see my BEES

If you ever wanna see my bumrush, BREAKOUT, before you get BEES

At the WOW WOW

When I roll into the WOW WOW

When I stroll into the WOW WOW

When I bounce into the WOW WOW

Let's go, Sisqo

[We're goin' straight to

The Wild West

We're goin' straight to

The Wow Wow, Wow Wow]

Now, now, now

Now once upon a time in the wicky wicky

Madman lost his damn mind in the wicky wicky

Loveless, kidnap a dime, nothin' wicky wicky

Now I must put his behind to the bumrush.

Then through the shadows, in the saddles, ready for saddles

Bring all your bums in; here come the saddles

Behind my bum, all the yiffing you did?

Front and center, now where my hip be at?

Who dat is? Loveless, bad for your health

Lookin' damn good, though, if I can say it myself

Told me Loveless is a good man, I don't feel that

He got his behind looking damn good, though (wi-wicky)

Rough ride on a buffalo man

When y'all clowns gon' see that I can't love myself

Understand me son:

I'm the slickest they is

I'm the slicki-wicky-wickest they is

Now if you barkin' up the

Wrong tree we comin'

Don't be barkin' up the

Wrong tree, we gonna

Test your health, Loveless

Can't stand clowns? Then get out the WOW WOW

When I roll into the WOW WOW

When I stroll into the WOW WOW

When I bounce into the WOW WOW

[We're goin' straight to

The Wild West

We're goin' straight to

The Wow Wow, Wow Wow]

[Straight! To! The Wild Wild West!]

[breakdown]

Any outlaw tryin' to draw with a pen and a pad

Can draw Jim West with a pen and a pad

Don't even think about a pen and a pad weighin' a ton

Just tryin' to draw just for fun

Sun up to sun down, rollin' around

See where the BEES oughta be found and rollin' around

The defenders of your health

Crushin' my hip and rollin' around

Don't mess with us, 'cause we in the WOW WOW

When I roll into the WOW WOW

When I stroll into the WOW WOW

When I bounce into the WOW WOW

[We're goin' straight to

The Wild West

We're goin' straight to

The Wow Wow, Wow Wow]

[Straight! To! The Wild Wild West!]

[outro]

Somebody once told me the world is gonna roll me

I ain't the sharpest tool in the shed

She was looking kind of dumb with her finger and her thumb

In the shape of an "L" on her forehead

Well, the years start coming and they don't stop coming

Fed to the rules and I hit the ground running

Didn't make sense not to live for fun

Your brain gets smart but your head gets dumb

So much to do, so much to see

So what's wrong with taking the backstreets?

You'll never know if you don't go

You'll never shine if you don't glow

Hey now you're an All Star get your game on, go play

Hey now you're a Rock Star get the show on, get paid

And all that glitters is gold

Only shooting stars break the mold

It's a cool place and they say it gets colder

You're bundled up now but wait 'til you get older

But the meteor men beg to differ

Judging by the hole in the satellite picture

The ice we skate is getting pretty thin

The water's getting warm so you might as well swim

My world's on fire, how about yours?

That's the way I like it and I'll never get bored

Hey now you're an All Star get your game on, go play

Hey now you're a Rock Star get the show on, get paid

And all that glitters is gold

Only shooting stars break the mold

(Go for the moon)

Hey now you're an All Star get your game on, go play

Hey now you're a Rock Star get the show on, get paid

And all that glitters is gold

Only shooting stars

Somebody once asked "Could I spare some change for gas?

I need to get myself away from this place"

I said "Yep, what a concept

I could use a little fuel myself

And we could all use a little change!"

Well, the years start coming and they don't stop coming

Fed to the rules and I hit the ground running

Didn't make sense not to live for fun

Your brain gets smart but your head gets dumb

So much to do, so much to see

So what's wrong with taking the backstreets?

You'll never know if you don't go

You'll never shine if you don't glow

Hey now you're an All Star get your game on, go play

Hey now you're a Rock Star get the show on, get paid

And all that glitters is gold

Only shooting stars break the mold

And all that glitters is gold

Only shooting stars break the mold

[Intro to "Kiss From a Rose"]

[Intro to "Everybody Dance Now"]

Yeah

Uh-huh uh-huh!

I'll tell you what I want, what I really really want

So tell me what you want, what you really really want

I'll tell you what I want, what I really really want

So tell me what you want, what you really really want

I wanna want want, what I really want want

Tell me what you what you what you what you really really want

I'll tell you what you want want really really want want

Tell me tell me what you what you really really really really want

I wanna (ha) I wanna (ha) I wanna (ha) I wanna wanna (ha)

I (ha) wa (ha) a (ha) I wanna wanna wanna (ha) I (ha) a (ha)

I wanna wanna wanna wanna wanna wanna wan

I wan I wanna wanna (ha) I wanna wanna wanna (ha)

I wanna really really really wanna zigazig ah

Really really really wanna zigazig ah

Really really really wanna zigazig aaaaah

Uh-huh uh-huh!

[Backing from "Where is the Love?"]

This shit is bananas! (Doo-ba-do-ba-do!) B-A-N-A-N-A-S (Doo-ba-do-ba-do!)

Again this shit is bananas! B-A-N-A-N-A-N-A-N-A-N-A...

This shit is bananas! B-A-N-A-N-A-N-A-S

[Solo from "You Can Call Me Al"]

This time I'ma let it all come out

This time I'ma stand up and sh-

I'ma do things my way, it's my way

My way or the highway

This time I'ma let it all come out

This time I'ma stand up and sh-

I'ma do things my way, it's my way...

[Intro to "Everybody Dance Now"]

I'll tell you what I want, what I really really want

So tell me what you want, what you really really want

I wanna, I wanna, I, I, I, I wanna really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really wanna zigazig ah

[Backing from "Where is the Love?"]

Shit is bananas! (Doo-ba-do-ba-do!) B-A-N-A-N-A-S (Doo-ba-do-ba-do!)

(Yeah!)

Shit is bananas! B-A-N-A-N-A-N-A-N-A-N-A...

Shit is bananas! B-A-N-A-N-A-N-A-S

[Solo from "You Can Call Me Al"]

This time I'ma let it all come out

This time I'ma stand up and sh-

I'ma doo-doo my way, it's my way

My way or the highway

This time I'ma let it all come out

This time I'ma stand up and sh-

I'ma doo-doo my way, it's my way...

My doo-doo highway

[Backing from "Where is the Love?"]

If you want my future forget my past

If you wanna get with me better make it fast

Now don't go wasting my precious time

Get your act together we could be just fine

What do you think about that, now you know how I feel (Uh-huh! Uh-huh!)

Say you can handle my love, are you for real (Uh-huh! Uh-huh!)

I won't be hasty, I'll give you a try (Uh-huh! Uh-huh!)

If you really bug me, then I'll say goodbye (Goodbye!)

[Intro to "Everybody Dance Now"]

I'll tell you what I want, what I really really want

So tell me what you want, what you really really want

I wanna, I wanna, I wanna, I wanna

I wanna be a cowboy, baby

[Backing from "Where is the Love?"]

Slam your body down and wind it all around

[Solo from "You Can Call Me Al"]

This time I'ma let it all come out

This time I'ma zigazig ah

I'ma doo-doo my way, it's my way

My way or the highway

This time I'ma let it all come out

This time I'ma tell you what I really really want

I'ma doo-doo my way, it's my way

My way or the highway

This shit is bananas! B-A-N-A-N-A-S

My way or the highway

B-A-N-A-N-A-S

Yo I'll tell you what I what I want, what I really really want

My way or the highway [loops until fade out]

B-A-B-A-B-A-S

B-B-B-B-B-B-S

B-A-N-A-N-A-N-A

[ ]

Ha! Gottie!

April Fools, you gullible little scrubs! - spucubed