So, I listen to a lot of musical theatre soundtracks. And the other day I had my playlist on shuffle and "Right-Hand Man" from Something Rotten came on, and it's been playing on my mind ever since. This afternoon it congealed into this story idea and I have to say, it was a nice change of pace to write something with a bit of lightness to it after working on Sink or Swim.

Right Hand Man

"Are you sure you want to do this?" Ranger asked, pulling into the driveway of a gorgeous two story brick home behind a forest green SUV with those stick figure family stickers on the back window. The sun was setting behind the trees at the back of the house making for a picturesque display that left me with a sense of warmth in my chest. "We can turn around right now and head straight back to Haywood if you're not ready.

I gave him a look that broadcast my opinion on that matter: I'd already put the time and effort into making myself look presentable, and we'd just driven half an hour to get here. "We may as well go in," I pointed out when he just continued to stare at me blankly. "Don't let this make-up be for nothing."

"You're beautiful without the makeup, Babe," he assured me, but I noticed that he still hadn't put the Porsche in park. Something was bothering him. I took his hand that had been resting on my thigh for the majority of the drive and squeezed it. He must have seen the concerned question in my eyes because he let out an almost audible breath that translated approximately into the Ranger equivalent of a deeply troubled sigh. "I just don't want you to feel uncomfortable," he said. "The Manoso family can be a lot to take in for an outsider who suddenly finds themselves surrounded on all sides."

"What he means," Lester interrupted as he thrust his head into our space from the backseat, "Is that he's uncomfortable and would really like for you to give him an excuse to turn tail and retreat right now while still maintaining possession of his man card." He was grinning from ear to ear, which wasn't unusual for the happy-go-lucky man when he was free, as he was at the current moment, from the responsibility of keeping the world safe.

By contrast, Ranger's almost imperceptible expression was clouded by one more rain cloud than it had been a second ago, darkening ever so slightly at his cousin's interpretation of his behaviour. Ranger hated showing weakness almost as much as he hated people like Lester calling him out. There was no doubt in my mind that Lester was correct about the situation, though. Tonight would be the first time Ranger attended a Manoso family dinner in more than three years, and if his parents were anything like mine, there would a thick layer of guilt slathered over his entire being before the night was through. Not only that, tonight would be the first time he introduced his family to his new fiancé: me.

I am the future Mrs. Manoso. And that was a big part of why we were here. We'd gotten engaged two weeks ago, and before Ranger had had a chance to break the news to his family, Lester had accidentally spilled the beans to his own mother, who had then contacted Ranger's mother, who immediately called Ranger and demanded his presence at Manoso family dinner, fiancé in tow.

So here we were. I have to admit that I was quite a bit nervous, my stomach tying itself in knots, but seeing the effect it was having on Ranger's usually iron-clad resolve pushed all that aside. I thought of how many times we'd sat in the car outside my parents' house and he'd suffused my soul with confidence just by being there for me. All those times he'd rescued me from a disaster. It was the least I could do to return the favour now. Afterall, I thought, gazing down at the diamond peaking out from between our entwined fingers, we were in this together now.

"Lester," I said, strengthening my grip on Ranger's hand. "Why don't you go on ahead? We'll be in in a minute."

He nodded, backing up out of our personal space. "I make no guarantees at being able to hold off the natives for very long," he called over his shoulders as he slid out of the back seat.

Ranger opened his mouth, probably to support Lester's statement, or to suggest we take this opportunity to drive away, thereby throwing his cousin to the wolves. But I added my other hand to the cluster in my lap, cutting off his words before he had a chance to voice them. Instead, he took a moment to put the car in park and turn off the engine, turning a little in his seat to give me his full attention.

"Tonight is going to be fine, Ranger," I told him earnestly. "I know it will be, because no matter what happens with your family, I'll be there for you."

Having apparently expended enough words for the time being, he simply raised an eyebrow at me. He needed convincing. I thought the fact that I was currently wearing his ring was enough evidence, but then again, this hesitance was unusual behaviour for Ranger. Seeing his family was throwing him off his game, so I launched into the best pep talk I could come up with at such short notice.

"If you ever got in trouble I would be there on the double just to bail you out," I informed him. "If there's anything you lack, you know I've always got your back. That's what it's all about." I slipped my left hand from his grip and waggled it at him pointedly before continuing. "Think of me as your sidekick, helping you whenever I can. I'm more than just a woman, Ranger, when the pressure's coming, Ranger, let me be your right-hand man."

By the time I'd finished my statement the eyebrow he'd cocked at me had taken on a more quizzical arch. "But you're not a man," he pointed out. "I'm the man. And what's with the rhyming?"

I let out a frustrated sound, unbuckling my seatbelt and hopping out. "You're not hearing me! I'm saying we're gonna get through this – and all things – together!"

He, too, slid out of the safety of the car, and I met him on his side, continuing my attempts at explaining the particulars of the game plan while also eliminating the rhyming, and urging him to walk with me toward his parents front door. "If you're ever in a pickle you can call for me and I'll come running fast."

"I'm not in a pickle, Babe."

"Not right now," I agreed, "But you and me should be a t-"

"You and I."

I rolled my eyes. There was one thing worse than a stressed and taciturn Ranger and that was his tension took the form of a grammar Nazi. "You and I should be a team for any dream or scheme in life," I explained, taking three bold steps up the stairs to the porch and ringing the doorbell before either or us had a chance to chicken out. "That's just how it should be done," I added nonchalantly, allowing him to wrap his arm around my waist and pull me closer to him as a cacophony of yelling erupted inside the house.

A second later the door opened revealing a woman so strikingly beautiful that I almost started to question my preferences. She put goddesses to shame. The Manoso genes were strong with this one.

She uttered a single word in Spanish, looking from Ranger to me and back before grabbing each of our wrists and dragging us rather forcefully into the house, not letting up until we'd reached the kitchen at the back of the house. Releasing us, she then jammed a chair under the door handle and turned to face us. I was just about to introduce myself when she opened her mouth and a torrent of Spanish fell out, stirred into an angry sounding twister by her whirlwind hand gestures.

Completely dumbfounded, it was several minutes before I managed to get my jaw working again. Ranger just stood, stoic, taking the brunt of the storm with absolutely zero expression. This was not a good start to the evening. I had to find a way to diffuse the situation before we all had to bunker down from a tornado warning.

"Hi," I said as pleasantly as I could manage given the circumstances, stepping forward so that I was just in front of Ranger. "I'm Stephanie Plum." I thrust my hand out to the woman I guessed was one of Ranger's sisters. "I'm sorry, I didn't quite catch you name. I don't speak Spanish, you see."

Caught off guard by my patented charm, the woman shut her mouth with a snap, took my offered hand, and shook it. Slowly. All the while sending Ranger a strange look over my shoulder. "Celia," she told me. "I'm Ric's older sister."

Ric, I repeated in my head. Note to self: I probably shouldn't call Ranger Ranger in a family setting like this."

"I'm sorry," she continued, taking her hand back and backing up a step. "That was very rude of me. It's nice to finally meet you, Stephanie."

"Steph is fine," I replied. "It's nice to finally meet you, too. Ric speaks fondly of you."

Her perfectly filled brows shot straight up at that. "Fondly?" she questioned incredulously, returning her gaze to her brother.

"Yes," Ranger confirmed, breaking his silence and stepping forward to draw me to his side once more. "I told Steph about all my fond memories of you torturing me with embarrassment in front of my friends."

Celia let out an elegantly executed bark of laughter, shaking her head. "Good times," she said. "I miss the days when you had emotions."

I didn't agree with the implication that Ranger had no emotions, but they were both talking now – in English no less – so I'd call it a success. Tension cut. Now to navigate whatever else the Manoso had up their sleeves.

"Come on," Celia said, moving the chair out of the way and opening the door for us. "We better go let Mama know you're here. If we cause dinner to be delayed we'll all be in trouble; not just you."

Ranger took my hand, pressing it to his lips as he led the way down the hall to the dining room. I knew it would be crowded before we reached the door due to the amount of noise drifting out of the room. The Manosos were a big family. Ranger had three sisters and a brother. Two of the sisters – Celia and Tamarin – had husbands. And Celia and Eduardo – the brother – had a handful of children between them. Throw in Ranger's parents, Abuela, Lester, Lester's mom, Ranger and myself, and I wasn't sure any residential dining room had the capacity to handle the math.

Before I could figure it out, though, Ranger pushed open the door, revealing the large group of beautiful people beyond. All conversation – of which there was a lot – ceased as heads turned to see who was entering. They'd been expecting us any second and they weren't disappointed. We stood there like statues for a minute, everyone gawking at us, me gawking at all of them, Ranger… well, I'm not sure exactly what his face was doing, but at least he wasn't death glaring his own family.

"Everyone, this is Steph," Lester announced from the back corner of the room, waving a hand toward us. "Steph, this is most of the Manoso clan. Apparently the kids had already organised a movie night before family dinner was declared and they refused to reschedule."

"Probably, they heard that you'd be here and decided to stay away to protect their innocent minds," I replied. It was a knee-jerk reaction. Autopilot had taken over in the face of the stressful situation, and was seizing at the usual easy banter Lester and I shared. Probably, my brain had forgotten that there were a bunch of people between me and Lester when it gave my mouth free rein with the words, but thankfully, my comment was met with laughter.

The moment broken, the closest Manoso – Abuela – ushered us into the room. "Come," she said in heavily accented English, pointing to the table. "Come. Sit. Eat."

We did as we were told, and were immediately immersed into the familiarity of passing dishes and filling plates, everyone chattering, and laughing. The significance of my and Ranger's presence at this affair was temporarily ignored in favour of distributing the food before it got cold. I'd just passed a bowl of beans to Abuela, turning to accept the dinner rolls Ranger was holding, when he wrapped an arm around my shoulders, dragging me into a quick hug and punctuating it with a kiss to my temple. "Thank you," he said sincerely, and I must have looked as confused as I felt, because he continued, "For being your usual captivating self and dispelling an awkward moment with ease."

I tried to quirk an eyebrow at him, my point from earlier on the way in having been proven, but as usual, my attempts were unsuccessful, resulting only in a twitching forehead and Ranger dropping another kiss there. "I mean," I said, as he leaned back into his own space and handed me the rolls, "I could stay in the background, just smiling demurely every now and again, but just being a pretty lady? That would be a pity. I'm much better value as your right-hand man."

"You should listen to her," Lester said from Ranger's other side. "She's usually right."

"Eat you cabbage," Ranger intoned.

Grinning, Lester shrugged. "Okay."

*o*

Unfortunately for Ranger, once the plates had stopped moving and all that anyone had to focus on was the food in front of them and the people around them, the peace that had reigned over the dining room was lost. I'd once thought that no one could top my mother in terms of laying on the guilt trips and lectures during one meal, but I'd clearly never experienced the combined force of three generations of Manoso women – and occasionally men – interrogating the youngest sibling on the entirety of his life's choices up until this point. I'd tried to cut in and defend him a few times, but each time I opened my mouth for reasons other than to fork more food in or answer a question that had been directed at me, Ranger squeezed my thigh and gave an almost imperceptible shake of his head.

I was confident that if this had been Helen Plum on a tirade about my life he would have jumped in to put a stop to it by now, but being that this was Ranger's family, I had to respect his wishes at least a little. Maybe this was just part of the ritual of family dinner, a rite of passage he'd expected and prepared himself to endure. Maybe if he attended them more often it wouldn't be as bad. Maybe Ranger was just used to torture and this was how he got his fix every now and again.

I hoped not. That was a little sadistic.

When everyone was done with their dinner, plates were piled and passed in an orderly fashion to the three Manoso sisters who carried them out of the room trailed by Maria Manoso and Catalina Santos.

Conversation relaxed with only the men, myself and Abuela in the room. I say relaxed, but what I mean is, there was a brief silence where everyone took the opportunity to make eye contact with everyone else before a collective sigh filled the room and the men broke off into smaller conversations centred around sport and work and raising the next generation of Manosos which, from what I could tell, was a notoriously difficult task.

Eduardo had just put his elbows on the table, making eye contact with me like he intended to ask or tell me something when Celia popped her head around the corner of the door. "Stephanie," she said. "Mama would like to see you in the kitchen if that's okay. She wants your help with the desserts."

Before I had a chance to reply Ranger's hand, which was still on my thigh where it had been lightly tracing circles - whether to calm himself or me, I wasn't sure – tightened once again. Taking a quick breath, I laid my hand on top of his, squeezing gently and hoping it communicated as much as his own squeeze had done. "I'll be there in just a second," I told Celia easily. She nodded, disappearing once more, and I turned to face my fiancé.

"Ranger," I breathed. "I'm stronger than you think." His lips shifted like he was going to say something, but I jumped in before he had a chance. "Don't be thinking I'm not tough. When the going's getting rough I'm where you should go. So when things are going badly-"

"They're not," he tried to protest.

"They kinda are," Lester cut in.

"No," Ranger gritted out. "Things are fine."

"But if they weren't-" I said, trying to give him an out.

Ranger shook his head. "Babe, it's okay."

I grabbed his wrists, a power move I'd discovered a couple of months ago when he wasn't taking me seriously. Hand holding was affection. A hand on the forearm was or thigh was support in a trying time. My fingers wrapped around his wrists as far as they would go was attention grabbing, a way to make him really listen to me. I thankfully didn't have need for this particular gesture very often, Ranger was usually exceptionally good at hearing what I was saying, and what I wasn't saying, but something about being here tonight had him rattled. "Love," I intoned, appealing to his better nature, and he just raised an eyebrow at me. "Quit trying to protect me."

He held my gaze for several long seconds before slowly lifting his hands, so that he could press his lips to each of my hands, still latched onto his wrists. "Go," he said quietly. "If anyone stands a chance against my mother, it's you."

The females of the family appeared to be bickering when I slipped quietly into the kitchen, but I couldn't be entirely sure, because there was no closed captioning to let me know what they were saying. I was thinking that I needed to start Spanish lessons as soon as I got home from this dinner when Elena – the youngest of the Manoso siblings – noticed my presence, quickly shushing the others.

"Did my brother teach you to sneak like that?" she asked, glancing shiftily to Celia and Tamarin. Celia sprouted off one more phrase in Spanish and everyone else relaxed. Except me, of course, because I was fairly certain that Celia had just informed the rest of the women that they were safe because I couldn't understand Spanish.

Reason number two to learn immediately.

"Celia said you needed my help with the desserts?" I said, meeting Maria's gaze. If they were going to be cagey, I could be perfectly pleasant to throw them off. If there was one skill I'd learned from my mother that I was grateful for it was how to throw people off balance when they were trying to hide information from you.

They caved pretty quickly, revealing that they'd used the dessert as an excuse to talk to me alone. Like I couldn't have figured that out on my own. (Don't worry, in the interest of peace keeping, I refrained from rolling my eyes at how stupid they must have thought I was). They wanted to know that I was the real deal. Checking that I wasn't with Ranger for selfish or slutty reasons. I managed to shut down the questioning pretty swiftly by pointing out that if my intentions did happen to be untoward Ranger would have surely realised by now. I explained that Ranger had been my mentor when I was down on my luck and that through that relationship we had become friends, and as time passed our friendship developed into something of a more romantic nature. They didn't need to know that we'd passed over the friendship phase pretty swiftly. And probably, they already knew all about Ranger and my relationship from Lester's Loose Lips, but I felt it was important to put their minds at ease.

"Is that all?" I asked once I'd answered several more of their questions as they worked at putting the finishing touches on the desserts.

They all looked at each other in the same way that the men had when they'd all left the room before giving a collective sigh. "Welcome to the family, Stephanie," Maria announced, handing me a bowl full of fruit. "Any woman who can capture my Ricardo's heart enough for him to bring her to family dinner, knowing that he'd be getting the third degree for being absent so long, is a worthy partner for his troubled soul."

I didn't know what to say to that, but luckily Celia, Tamarin and Elena all picked up a dish at that moment and herded me out of the room. As the door swung closed behind us I heard Maria and Catalina picking up a conversation in hushed tones, their words rapid and indecipherable to me as they switched back to Spanish.

Yep, the second I got home I was going to download that Duolingo app I'd seen advertised online. If I was going to be a Manoso I was going to need another language in my arsenal.

The rest of the evening passed easily. The ribbing on Ranger was over, with the exception of a few digs here and there that were normal sibling stuff. We ate dessert – turns out the bowl of fruit was just for Ranger, the only member of the family who refused to eat the decadent sweets Maria and Catalina had prepared, but I managed to get him to try a few bites from my plate, much to the pleasure of Abuela, who shook my arm excitedly after Ranger had taken a forkful of chocolate cake into his mouth – then the table was cleared entirely to make way for the mandatory game of spoons (a family night tradition according to Lester) before we were allowed to leave.

Lester was practically dancing in the back seat as Ranger reversed down the driveway. "That was fun," he enthused. "Wasn't that fun, Steph? Don't you wish Ranger had taken you to family dinner sooner?"

"It was definitely something," I agreed. "Spoons was fun. You didn't tell me there were games after dinner. My family never does that. Usually by the time dessert rolls around we're all glaring at each other and just biding our time until we're allowed to leave. And it was nice to finally meet your family," I added laying my hand on Ranger's thigh. "They're a little intense, but I believe their hearts are in the right place. From what I can tell the only reason they chewed you out as much as they did was because they missed you."

"Oh, that's the truth," Lester agreed. "Can you imagine how much easier it would have been to bring Steph to dinner if you'd been attending religiously for the last three years? Your mom would have made sure you brought her the second she realised the two of you were serious."

"And you know," I said, squeezing Ranger's thigh as he concentrated on navigating the streets and ignoring Lester's and my banter like usual. "If you'd let me jump in sooner they probably would have backed off quicker."

"Can we change the subject, please?" Ranger asked. "It was an okay night as far as family dinner goes, but I'm ready to move on."

I shook my head, determined to make him understand just how serious I was about wanting to support him as much as he supported me. We were in this for the long haul, after all. "Not until you know that if you're every in a fix, and it's a fix you need to nix, then I'm your go-to-guy," I said seriously, despite the fact that I'd allowed the rhyming to return.

"You're not a guy," Ranger protested.

"Don't be so literal!" I laughed. "And don't forget, I'm not a shrinking violet! I'm a solid rock." I flexed my mostly non-existent muscles as evidence. "So don't be thinking I'll crumble when the shit hits the fan. There's no problem that's too big. When you're together that's the gig. So don't be a selfish giver."

"Selfish giver?" Lester questioned, leaning forward so his face was framed by the gap between the front seats. "Don't get me wrong, Steph, I was with you right up until just now when you used a blatant oxy-moron. You've made some really good points, with the exception of the fact that you're not yet married. But selfish giver? How can someone be both selfish and a giver?"

"Ranger selfishly only ever wants to give, not receive," I pointed out, turning so that I could address my future cousin-in-law directly. "He's more than happy to go out of his way and out of his comfort zone to help, support and defend me, but when I try to do the same for him, like tonight, he tries to shut it down. So," I turned back to Ranger. "Is it asking too much of you? It's only cause I love you. Let me be your right- Actually, you know what? I'll show you that I'm right. Ranger, I'm your Right. Don't put up a fight. I can be your Right. Starting here tonight, let me be your right-hand man."

"Pestering," Lester said, leaning back into the seat. "Smooth."

Ignoring him, I laid a second hand on Ranger's thigh, drawing his gaze briefly as we paused at a stop sign. "Let me be your right-hand man," I implored.

He sighed, grabbing my hand a dragging up to his lips. "You've been my right-hand man for a while now, Steph," he said quietly, as his attention returned to the road. "I just didn't realise it until tonight."

While my heart was melting for this man that I got to spend the rest of my life with, my cheeks heating with the depth of my love for him, Lester was calling bullshit from the back seat. "You must have known before tonight," he said, leaning forward again. "Otherwise you wouldn't have asked her to marry you."

"Knowing a realising can be two completely different things, Santos," Ranger quipped. "Or are you forgetting Harry Potter and the Order of the- what was it, again?"

"Phoenix," I supplied, clearly missing something here.

"No, no," Ranger said, a slight smile playing at his lips as he glanced in the rearview mirror. "I want Lester to remind me how he thought the word was pronounced."

Lester was shooting daggers at my fiancé, but at this time I did not feel the need to defend him. In fact, I was quite curious about this blast from the past. "Foe-en-icks," he muttered.

"Ahh," Ranger said. "That's right. He and his friends had been talking about the next book in the series coming out for months. Everything was Order of the Phoenix this and Order of the Phoenix that, but when Lester finally has the book in his hands and he's about halfway through, he looks up from the book and says, 'Hey Celia, what's a foe-en-icks?' Pure gold. That was enough material to last Celia two weeks of torment."

I couldn't help but chuckle. It was good to see Ranger back to himself. I'd been worried for a while there that the trip to his parents' house had done irreparable damage. Was I sorry that Lester was now subject to ridicule that was decades old? A little. But if Ranger was in the mood to joke around, I wasn't about to stop him. He needed to release the build up of stress from the evening, and until we could get back to Haywood and the seclusion of the seventh floor, Lester was just going to have to persevere in the name of the greater good.

The Endiest of Ends.

(That means I'm absolutely not continuing the story no matter how much you love it. Let your imaginations run wild.)