Disclaimer: yadda yadda don't own steven yadda yadda.

We... are the Crystal Gems!

We'll always save the day!

And if you think we can't,

We'll always find a way!

That's why the people of this world believe in

Garnet, Amethyst, Rose, and Pearl.

"Hey! What about me?"

STEVEN GET DOWN FROM THERE! (Steven faceplants the ground. Cut to black.)

Episode 0: Space Hands are Weird.

Today was an odd day. I woke up. Got dressed, blah blah. Talked to my mom's maid who totes doesn't have the hots for her.

Things happened.

And now I'm currently on a ship that's crashing down onto my town from space, talking to my frenemy about the story of my life, because… why not. Oh, right she is looking at me like I'm insane.

Better get back to that. How did I get to this moment?

Well a few minutes ago...

"My new friend is cowering in a cell with some type of energy forcefield. I had a mini panic attack because I just saw my mom's maid vaporize her. She is now on a murderous rampage against your boss. My moms… Daughter, so I guess adopted sister? Aunt? I don't know what to call her. She's purple and holding back the maid from trying to destroy Moms Belly Button ring and I have you tied up like a stuffed pig because I want OFF this falling death trap in the sky. Any questions?"

She didn't hear a word I just said.

"You Clod! Release me!"

"Yes, you have mentioned that term before. Clod. Noun. Means lump of Clay, dirt or an Idiot. Seeing as I am neither a piece of dirt or an idiot it seems you are wrong in two regards. Now you are either going to help me or we all die." I raised the quivering short alien rock female thing up to my face and glared down at her.

She seemed to have a sort of second wind and even with her obvious nervousness, her voice betrayed none of her fear.

"You underestimate gem-kind you dumb clod we don't 'Die' we simply retreat to our gems!"

"Gems may not die but you're... what was it… a peridot? I'm sure with enough force in the right spot you shatter like glass." The green female gasped with wide eyes.

"You wouldn't dare!"

"Who's to say I wouldn't. I'm the son of that Barbaric Rose Quartz you were trying to bring in for the death of a Diamond. Who's to say I won't shatter your useless... Defenseless... little… gem right here and now for irritating me." I put on my best glare, using what little control of my powers to cover my eyes.

"Fine, I'll help you! I'll help you! Please, don't hurt me!"

"You better. One dumb move and I'll crush you to dust even Yellow-face couldn't piece you back together into a cluster."

Peridot gasped as she nodded her small green head. I held my hand around her neck as I loosened her restraints, sparing a quick glance through the held open doors to see the lithe form of my mom's sorta maid/girlfriend pole vaulting over the much shorter purple-skinned girl only to be thrown back over her when a whip wrapped around her waist.

Yeah, this is a weird day.

I finished the loosening of the restraints and quickly was kicked in my sides, I tightened my hand and the short girl stopped struggling long enough for me to drag her over to the counsel of this flying hand.

Seriously a flying space hand. Weird day.

"The ship is going down too fast! So fix it or ready an escape pod for us all!"

"You clo…" when she turned to my face she quickly looked forward.

Yeah That's right, apologize.

"I'm sorry." And now she sounds like a kicked puppy. Am I the bad guy?

A few moments passed by as the lime girl flipped through menus and warnings popped up which she closed at lightning-fast speeds, then… she froze and slowly looked to me then snapped her face forward and waited.

"... Why isn't the ship slowing down?"

She took a moment to breathe, probably thinking I was going to shatter her the second she said any bad news.

Seriously am I being a bad guy?

"There are anomalies detected in the multi adaptive transmitter so it is failing. I would need to readjust the mnemonic subspace amplifiers. The Directional memory log is destroyed so I would need to reroute the MK-33 collar with the interphasic subspace matrix. The MK-12 structure is failing so-"

Yeah no. I'm lost. You know with all the whining she has been giving me the past few hours I almost forgot she was part of some hyper-advanced alien force.

Oh right. Mom and all her friends are part of this race as well aren't they.

I'm an Alien? Part Alien?

That's disturbing. I thought aliens lay eggs in people's stomachs. At least that's what Connie told me that one time. Did Mom lay eggs in dad's stomach? Does that make her Dad and Dad... Mom?

Ewww.

"-Trim the plasma battle section. So… uh…" She quickly flipped through some menus and closed down alerts, "If they would STOP destroying the ship I could MAYBE slow us down." She clicked a button and screens showing her face opened everywhere, "STOP FIGHTING YOU CLO-" The screens all shattered and the ship shook before I heard the echo of some loud explosion.

The lime girl closed all the menus and dropped her head in her hands.

I'll give her a moment… okay moment over.

"How about an escape pod?"

"The last one just got crushed by that disgusting two-faced giant you call a Garnet."

Damn. Moving on, "Can you release Lapis from here? She has her water wings she might be able to glide us down."

There's a gulp. Seriously I was trying to be a little intimidating, not Murder your whole family as you watch level. Was I THAT bad?

"That would... maybe work, but… No the release is over by the cell bay..."

Well that sucks. I turn to the wrestling duet, "Purple get Lapis out!" Purple slams Pearl onto her back and kicks the spear away. "Nah Dude I'm a bit busy!"

I am so not in the mood for this.

"Purple do as I say and get Lapis out!" I am totally not banking on the fact that my mom is the leader of her group to order her around, not at all.

"Can't you see I'm preoccupied with keeping Pearl from shattering your mom!"

That does it, "I don't give a shit if Pearl dusts mom and throws her to the damn wind! You will get Lapis out of her cell or it doesn't fucking matter because we all will shatter! The two Giant bozos are destroying the only thing keeping us alive right now!" Purple looked around before she punched Pearl in the face.

While Pear was reeling, she quickly scooped up Mom's Pink Zit off the floor and threw it to me before bolting away.

Hopefully to release Lapis and maybe prevent the two giant morons from destroying the ship.

I debated letting the cold dead heart of my mom hit the floor for a moment before reaching out and bubbling the damn thing.

I stared at the infuriating thing for a few moments.

It's not like I give a damn about it.

It's not like mom gave a fuck about me.

"You earthlings are strange to have no loyalty to your leader." Whatever Lime Girl.

I give a glare to her and she shuts right up again. Jeeze.

I hear a battle cry and look to see Pearl charging at me with her spear raised, I quickly form a wall of pink in front of her and the door. I see the pure rage in her eyes disappear as she skids to a stop in front of…. And…. Freezes.

No Idea what she is doing with her hands though and I can see her lips moving but I can't hear her.

I'll deal with that later.

Maybe.

Least she calmed down.

I turn back to the Dorrito head.

"Loyalty is earned. You best remember that." I growled as I watched the green girl work furiously on the screen making sure she didn't do anything to kill us all.

After a few moments of work I spared a glance at Pearl who seemed to have stopped muttering.

Still doing that weird diamond salute though, and I can swear her head is twitching in that half-bow of hers.

"You call her Mom. What is a Mom?"

Oh Limey wants to learn.

"That's right you gems spring up from the dirt fully formed don't you."

She seemed to take that as a sign to explain to me that, "Gems are preprogrammed non-organic lifeforms. While organics are birthed from another organic. Gems are formed in Kindergartens from a precise Diamond Serum formulated to bring new life from the earth when it combines with the precious minerals of an area."

How very clinical of her.

"Right and I'm what happens when an Organic lifeform injects his precious organic material into the 'Body' of a gem which mixes together to create the non-programmed lifeform you see before you. We call it Fluid bonding there is also a nine-month gestation period and babies either come out of the body or are cut out like a tumor." I was being half sarcastic, I have no idea how any of this works.

The green female pulled a face in horror, "You willingly cut open your bodies!?"

"Yea never did find out if I was a tumor baby or not. Dad always did say one-minute mom was pregnant and then poof I was here…. At this point, I'm thinking maybe he meant that literally."

That's some food for thought.

"You know seeing as I have you as a captive audience. This ship is going to crash despite your best efforts, and we will all be shattered on impact if you can't slow us dow-"

An explosion in the distance.

Yeah... that's not happening.

"Why don't I tell you how I found out my mom is an Alien and I never knew… You see it all started a few months back..."

AN: Mark the Mark: Why are you starting a new story when you haven't updated your other one? I hear you ask.

Well Plot bunnies and I just felt like it. I should have more time to write with all this lockdown crap we are in currently.

Stay safe and happy reading folks.

AN: Artemis_HNR : Yes I know as my brother has stated we are starting something without finishing our previous stuff but Plot bunnies were abound with the ending of SU and we just couldn't help ourselves. As with our previous works we are going for a more serious Universe. Hope you like it ^_^