A/N: So, I'm still trying to find my ground, so I'm taking on Muppets. It's a teeny tiny little experiment.
I don't own The Muppets, all rights go to Disney.
And all honors go to you, Jim Henson. May you rest in piece.
That's all I have for now. Enjoy. Or maybe not.
Oh, it's probably time for a slight change in format...
Muppets: Cameraman
Prolouge
Gulag 38B, Siberia, Russia, November 28, 2011, 4:52 PM (Time Zone Unknown)
The End.
"KERMIT!"
Nadya was furious. Why would Kermit do this? Why would he just straight-up LIE to her? Why?
Kermit was terrified. The Gulag was the worst place he had to spend time in, he could not stand to be locked up again!
"Now, Nadya, take it easy!" Kermit said. "That End screen wasn't in the script, I-I Think James messed up something!"
Kermit, Nadya, Piggy, and Constantine looked at James Bobin, the director of the movie.
"What?" James asked. "That was in the script, Kermit, read it again!"
James handed Kermit the script. Kermit flipped to the very end of the script, and there it was. The words "The" and "End" in all their green glory. Kermit looked up at James, then back at Nadya who looked like she was at water's boiling point.
"You said..." Nadya paused for a split second. "That was my solo!"
Kermit started backing away. "Now, N-Nadya, don't take this personally, uhh... Look on the bright side, you got to appear in one of our movies!"
Nadya said nothing, just stared at Kermit angrily.
"I m-mean," Kermit said, still nervous. "It may not be one of our most famous movies, but it's still a movie!"
Nadya sighed. "Stop trying, Frog. We know you're not going to give that solo." She glanced above Kermit, and saw an average-sized man, with a figure of a humanoid puppet, a white hoodie, khakis, brown Nike shoes, blue hat with the Los Angeles Chargers logo, black hair, green eyes, and a goatee. He was clapping slowly.
"Bravo, Nadya! Now your Muppet friends can just Muppet Ladder their way home!"
"Kevin, it is good to see you," Nadya said through her thick Russian accent. "But you are not allowed in here. You are banned from Gulag, all Gulag, do you not remember?"
"No, Nadya. That was like, ten years ago. I'm suprised the ban hasn't been lifted yet."
Kevin looked at "The Wall," which had most of the other Muppets. He then looked at the inmates, with all their prisoner glory. He looked at Kermit, still scared for his life. He took another look at Nadya.
"Nadya, I haven't seen the people here in, like, a good ten years, can I at least say Hi?"
Nadya paused, remembering all the good times Kevin brought to the Gulag. The Poker, the pranks, the scams, the deals, and all the good prison movies. Kevin once tried to shoot a prison film at the Gulag, but failed miserably.
"Please, Nadya," Kevin said with his American accent. Can I say Hi?"
Nadya looked at the Gulag prisoners. Yes, they were almost like brothers. Kevin and the prisoners shared a strong bond... That diminished when Kevin was banned.
Nadya sighed again. "Okay, Kevin. You can say hi to friends. But you leave in five minutes."
"OKAY!"
Miss Poogy approached Kevin first. "Kevin!"
"Miss Poogy! Haven't seen you since you and the other Moopets got arrested for... Whatever that fiasco was! But you're here! I can't believe it!"
"Yeah, well, come with me, Kevin. I need to talk to ya."
Kevin and Miss Poogy walked to a different part of the Gulag. Meanwhile, on "The Wall," unlucky Muppets were completely stuck to the wall, thanks to glue drying.
"Oh, man, like, this is SO un-groovy!" Janice said while trying to get off. "Like, this is unnatural!"
"Oh, I've seen worse, babe!" Floyd Pepper said. "I knew a guy once, he drank seventeen bottles of Elmer's glue! Poor guy ended up dead the next day!"
Others were complaining, too.
"This wall's cold and depressing!"
"I doubt this stuff is gluestick glue..."
"Shut up, 80's Robot!"
"We're not gettin' outta here anytime soon, are we?"
"This ain't snow!"
"Yeah, thanks, Captain Obvious!"
Nadya looked at Kermit. "Kermit, can I talk to you?"
"Sure, what is it?"
"Kermit, I've been having... Passion, for you."
Kevin had just finished his talk with Poogy. He was walking back to Kermit, passing by "The Wall." He saw Electric Mayhem, 80's Robot, Rowlf, and others still stuck to the wall.
"Hey, mister!" Floyd called to Kevin. "Do you know a way to get outta here?!"
Kevin examined the wall. It wasn't frost like he thought it was. It was super glue.
"Maybe," Kevin said. "Lemme pull you off." He grabbed Floyd's arm. "Alright. 1. 2. 3!" And with that, he yanked Floyd off "The Wall."
"What?"
Kermit was confused. Nadya didn't tell him about that. Why did she wait until now?
"Nadya, why are you telling me this now?"
A single tear came out of Nadya's left eye. "I don't know. I did not want to tell you at all, but I do what I must."
Kermit saw she was basically crying. "Nadya, I-I..." Kermit didn't know what to say. He looked at Piggy, whose jaw was to the south pole of the universe. He looked back at Nadya. "Nadya, I understand you have something for me. But-" He was cut off by Kevin.
"Kermit! I want to be your c-cameraman!"
Kermit looked at him. "Well, we just ended our live tour, everyone's probably tired out and-"
He was cut off by animal hitting a trash bin like a drum. "DRUMS!" Everyone looked at kermit with determination.
Determination to keep going.
He looked at Kevin. Y'know what, Kevin? There's still room. Welcome aboard!"
Everyone cheered loudly. It wasn't over after all! The Muppets were to be continued!
All except Kevin. He didn't want to do this.
"Oh no..."
End of Prolouge
A/N: Oh, Soviet prisons, will you ever learn?
My first attempt at a Muppets story.