::AUTHOR'S NOTE::

I don't own Lord of the Rings or Harry Potter. I just thought it would be a fun crossover to make my OC useful as a tenth walker.

I'm stuck inside due to the Covid-19 Pandemic, so I thought I would try my hand at a fanfic and practice writing.

Please let me know if you enjoy it so far. I'm trying to update every night for long as I can keep my motivation up.

I hope you, the reader, are safe and healthy in this scary time! 3

The bitter taste of beer filled Emma's senses as she took a swig from the can she was holding. A cold sensation had spread throughout her hand from the container, and she shivered with disgust. The chill was uncomfortable, but Emma knew that it wouldn't matter once she was in a couple more drinks. She would start to feel buzzed before too long, and she yearned to stop feeling or thinking at all.

It had been one of the roughest days of her life, and she found herself drowning in existential dread from the consequences she knew were to ensue. Emma's partner of five years had broken off their engagement. It hadn't been a surprise really. However, it left her in a predicament where she realized all the things she ever worried about came true. She thought that Blain and her had finally reached a mutual love and respect for one another after being reassured over and over again that Blain was perfectly happy to spend the rest of his life with her.

Liar… Emma thought subconsciously as her thoughts rolled over each other like waves coming to shore just to pull them back out to sea. Images of the day's events swamped her mind. Blain's tearful face as he admitted to her that he had been cheating on her for months. Her anger when she had asked him for an explanation on why he hadn't just come clean sooner, and why he had said yes to her proposal. Her mother's face when she got home, wrinkled and concerned until Emma explained what had transpired between Blain and her, and then her mother's anger…

It was Emma's fault. That was the conclusion that her mother had come to. Emma wasn't suitable for anybody because "that's how she liked it," so of course when she failed at her first and only relationship, it was her blame. Her mother had asked and accused Emma of many things… Many questions that Emma had already had streaming through her mind. Why hadn't she tried harder? Why didn't she communicate? Why did Emma make things difficult for Blain? What did she miss?

It was these exact questions that continued to circulate through Emma's mind from where she laid in the center of her old room, staring at the blank ceiling above her. There was no bed anymore, so she had to make due on the carpeted floor. It suited her current circumstance quite well, adding a dramatic effect to the whole affair. Besides, her back had been killing her, and the moment that she had stretched herself out onto the carpet, it had cracked quite to her pleasure. One good thing from today, right?

Stray curls stuck to her tear stained and blotchy face as she squeezed her eyes shut. What was she going to do? The scariest part of finding out Blain's treachery today wasn't that he had broken her heart, but that he had broken her spirit. She had had no life outside of their time together, and it was terrifying when she had come to that realization. That was the true reason for her tears and grief in her chest. Without him, she didn't know who or even what she was.

A chuckle escaped her lips at the last thought, and she frowned. It was true. For years, she had pushed herself to blend into the muggle world, not just to keep her identity secret from Blain, but for her family's sake too. It had been a happy surprise when they had found out that she was a witch, but the bubbling excitement of something new died down when jealousy from her siblings, and then eventually her mother set in. Her use of magic had soon turned into a shameful thing, and being the type of person she was, Emma had felt bad for having something that her family couldn't. It didn't feel fair.

Memories from her time at Hogwarts swarmed around in her mind, overlapping the fresh ones from today, and with them, came a new tug of guilt. She missed her school years. She missed her friends that she had come to avoid for so many years. They had grown to dislike Blain quite a bit when Emma first started dating him, and even more when they found out that Emma had stopped her use of magic altogether. They hadn't understood why she bothered when the magic community was trying to overcome the old laws of muggles vs witches and wizards. Emma wasn't quite sure if she understood why herself. However, it was in the past, and considering Blain was probably out of her life now… Well, it was what it was, and there was no fixing what was already said and done.

Without realizing what her unoccupied hand was doing, Emma had subconsciously grabbed her wand as she was now twirling it around in her hand, staring at it absentmindedly. It was always hidden on her even though she refused to use it for so many years. She adjusted it so that it was positioned properly and flicked it. Nothing happened of course as she didn't want anything to, but she felt disappointed from the lack of action. It had been a long time since she had used a spell, and she couldn't help but feel she wanted to scratch that itch.

"Accio beer," she muttered, imagining a cold beer can sitting in the fridge downstairs, and flicked her wand again. Within more than a few heartbeats, she heard a bump at the closed door. She smiled and stood up from her lying position, already feeling a little wobbly from the few cans she had downed in the time that she had been in her room.

Emma opened the door, and beamed as the beer can zoomed into the room, and dropped at where she had casted the spell. She chuckled. The feeling of using a spell in such a long time, even just to be lazy and to get drunk, felt amazing. The excitement didn't last however when she heard her mother yelling from down the hall.

"Emma!" she screeched, her voice ringing through the entire house. Emma cringed and sighed, quickly shoving her wand into her back jean pocket.

"Yes, mom?" she asked, her voice hoarse from crying.

"Don't use magic in the house… Please." her mother was at the door now, both hands on either side of the frame as she glared at her youngest daughter. Despite the loud yell from earlier, her voice was soft now, and she looked tired.

"Sorry about that. I just… It's been awhile… And after today, I was too lazy…" Emma muttered quietly, turning away from her mother to sit back down.

"No, I'm sorry," her mother sighed, and Emma felt the tension she had been holding in her shoulders relax. She felt tears prick at her eyes, and frustration roll into her chest. Of course her mother was sorry. This is how it always went. She would get mad at Emma, or anybody, and make them feel like the worst person possible… And then apologize later to smooth things over.

"Don't apologize," Emma said quickly, shaking her head, urging the tears not to fall. "I'm fine. You're right. I messed up." I messed up the moment I was born. She thought subconsciously, but knew that it was just the alcohol talking.

"No, Emma. We won't just push this aside like everything else," her mom responded, and Emma cringed from the authoritative tone that she used. "It's just… Well, you were single and living here for so long that I thought you would never find anyone… And when you found Blain, well, I never expected it would have lasted so long considering how… And… well, what you are, but it did, so it was disappointing to hear he broke it off in the end. I really liked him."

I really liked him too. How is this supposed to make me feel better? Emma thought sorrowfully, staring at the blue wall as her mom continued to ramble on. There were some cracks in it that she could trail with her eyes as she listened. It honestly didn't feel as if the older woman was providing a real apology considering that her mother continued to lowkey insult her. In fact, Emma was half tempted to pick her wand from her pocket and say a quick spell to close and lock the door. Yet she didn't. Despite the harsh words, Emma understood that her mother would never understand the burden she placed upon her youngest, or that the world that Emma tried to navigate would never be her own after experiencing the other side.

"Stop," Emma surprised herself as she interrupted her mother's speech. "I don't want to hear anymore. I'm upset. I'm tired. I can't continue to listen to you put me down because I'm already feeling lower than I ever have before."

Silence followed her words, and despite that no more sound came from her mother, Emma could feel the tension that vibrated off of her. She could feel that her mom was pissed, and when she finally heard her footsteps stomping away from the door, Emma sighed and relaxed.

Finally. She thought, taking her wand out once again and flicking it towards the door to slam it shut. She didn't even care if it pissed her mom off more. All she cared about was slipping her pants and bra off, downing another beer, and finally falling asleep. She had no blanket and the floor was hard despite the carpet, but it would do before she had to deal with the consequences tomorrow.