Here's the third installment of Uncharted with Gravity Falls characters. This one gets a bit more complex and emotional than the previous ones. It also has some of the biggest plot holes in the series, so even though I don't really make that many changes to these stories, I'm gonna work around those holes a little. Also, in this one, Pacifica and Wendy's roles are smaller while Stan's role is bigger. That said, let's get to it!
Disclaimer: I own nothing that has to do with Uncharted or Gravity Falls.
"All men dream… but not equally. Those who dream by night in the dusty recesses of their minds wake in the day to find that it was vanity… But the dreamers of the day are dangerous men, for they may act their dream with open eyes, to make it possible. This... I did."
-T.E. Lawerence, "Lawrence of Arabia"
Chapter 1: Another Round
(In the streets of London, England at night, two figures in black clothing walk down an empty street. One tosses a cigar butt down into a sewer drain. They turn a corner and walk up to a tavern in between buildings. They walk in and find it crowded with men sitting at tables, at the counter or standing, either drinking or playing games like darts or cards. Some of them stare at the duo that just entered but the duo pays them no mind. They go up to the counter where the bartender faces them and points to a door at the back of the room labeled "office". They go through the door and up some stairs.)
(The door at the top of the stairs opens and treasure hunter, Dipper Drake walks into the room followed by his friend and mentor, Stanley Pines. Both were in black suits and white shirts. Dipper did not have his white and blue pine tree hat. Inside the room are some furniture and a pool table with some more thuggish looking men standing and sitting around. One thug walks up to the two. He's got slightly pale skin, shaggy black hair in an emo-like style and some ear piercings. He's wearing dark-blue pants and a dark-green shirt with a black leather jacket over it. He looks sternly at Dipper and Stan.)
Thug: Hands up.
(They both put their arms out. The thing searches Dipper's arms and moves down his sides.)
Dipper: (jokingly) Enjoying yourself, pal?
Thug: (unamused) Oh, yeah, you're a comedian.
(He moves over to Stan and does the same with him.)
Stan: (sarcastically) Nice warm welcome.
(The thug stands up and goes towards the back of the room.)
Thug: They're both clean.
(The duo walk into the room as a strange looking man in a black suit and red tie walks into the room and stands behind the pool table. He has gold-blonde skin, gold-blonde hair in a neat style, and pale yellow eyes with pupils in vertical lines. He gives a big creepy smile as he faces Dipper and Stan from across the table.)
Boss: My apologies. One can't be too careful.
(They're a little intimidated by his appearance but remain calm.)
Stan: I'm guessing you're Bill Cipher?
Bill: And you must be Mr. Pines. And Mr. Drake.
Dipper: That's right.
Bill: Do you have it?
Stan: Let's see the money first.
Bill: (to thug) Robbie.
(The dark-haired thug, named Robbie, walks over with a metal briefcase and puts it on the table. Bill opens it and shows it's filled with wads of English dollars that look like they amount up to thousands of dollars.)
Bill: It's all there. Now let's see it.
(Dipper takes off the necklace with his silver ring on it and hands it to Bill who takes out an eye glass.)
Bill: I'll need to authenticate it.
Dipper: Of course.
(Bill inspects the ring with the eye glass as Dipper picks up a wad of money and observes it.)
Bill: Silver... 16th century Elizabethan design… Inscribed with Sir Francis Drake's motto… Well, it appears to be genuine.
Stan: Well, of course it's genuine. We wouldn't be here if it wasn't.
Bill: If I may ask, how did you two come into possession with this?
Stan: Does it matter?
Bill: (snickers) I suppose not. My client will be very pleased. Pleasure doing business with you.
Dipper: (suspicious) Hold on a minute... (gives Stan some money) Stan, this is fake.
(Stan inspects the money as Bill sighs in annoyance.)
Bill: I assure you, Mr. Drake -
Stan: Whoa, whoa, you are right. This is phony as a three dollar bill. (to Bill, upset) What the hell are you tryin' to pull here?
Bill: Perhaps I should be asking you.
Dipper: (upset) This is bullshit. The deal's off, pal.
(He pushes the briefcase over to Bill and picks up his ring from the table.)
Stan: And you? You can tell your "client" you blew it. C'mon, Dipper. Let's get the hell outta here.
(They start to leave but Robbie and a few other thugs start to crowd around them.)
Bill: (firmly) You're not really in a position to negotiate. Now, give me the ring, take the case, and walk out of here like gentlemen. While you still can.
(Robbie shoots Dipper a death glare.)
Robbie: Do as the man says, son.
Dipper: (to Bill) You're a thief!
Bill: (smirks) Well, now that's ironic.
(The thugs around them stand at the ready. Dipper and Stan look at each other and then quickly pick up cue sticks from the pool table. Dipper whacks Robbie with his and it breaks. Stan whacks another thug with his and it breaks. The thugs go down and Bill picks up the briefcase and walks out of the room as the rest of the thugs move in on the duo.)
(Robbie throws a punch at Dipper and hits the side of his head.)
Robbie: (aggressively) Come on.
(Another thug tries to hit Stan.)
Thug: This one's mine!
(Stan blocks his attack and hits back.)
Stan: Yeah?
(Robbie tries to punch Dipper again but Dipper kicks him in the stomach and forces him back.)
Dipper: (mockingly) That the best you got?
(Another thug moves in and distracts Dipper as Robbie picks up another pool stick and swings it. Dipper dodges and it whacks the thug instead. Dipper then punches Robbie in the face and knocks him down. Stan beats up his thug but another comes at him from behind.)
Thug: Why don't you have a go at me? Come on!
(Dipper tries to help him but Robbie grabs him from behind. The other thug pushes Stan onto a chair and tries to attack Dipper while Robbie holds him. Dipper kicks the thug down and pushes himself and Robbie back into the wall. He runs over to Stan sitting in the chair and helps him up.)
Stan: (slightly weary) Oh, man.
Dipper: C'mon. No time to rest.
Stan: Let's get outta here.
(The head for the door they came in but it opens and a thug twice the size of Dipper enters the room. He glares menacingly at Dipper.)
Dipper: (smiling nervously) Hey there, big fella.
(The thug advances on him until Stan jumps on his back and holds him back.)
Stan: I got him! Quick, hit him!
(Dipper quickly picks up a small wooden bar stool and smashes it on the thug's head but it barely phases him. Robbie suddenly pulls Stan off the thug's back.)
Robbie: Nope, bad idea, granddad.
(The big thug grabs Dipper before he can do anything and throws him through a stain glass window on the wall. He falls out of the office and down into the bar area where he lands on a table causing it to break. The thugs around the table look down at him as he groans in pain. They look up at the big thug looking down from the broken window. He points down at Dipper.)
Big thug: Get him!
(The thugs pull Dipper up and one of them punches him and sends him stumbling over to the counter. He bumps into a guy sitting there and knocks over his glass.)
Thug: Hey, you spilled my drink!
(He gets up and tries to hit Dipper who picks up another bottle from the counter and smashes it against the guy's head.)
Dipper: Here, this one's on me.
Bartender: (irritated) Hey, let's break it up, will ya!?
(Another thug pushes Dipper back towards the center of the room and all the thugs in the room, along with the bartender, move in on him. Stan comes out of the bottom of the staircase.)
Stan: This a private party or can I join in?
Dipper: Be my guest.
(They start fist fighting multiple opponents at once and prove to be better fighters. They eventually knock down about a dozen thugs including the bartender. Dipper soon knocks out a guy by slamming his head on the counter and looks around at all the thugs either unconscious or too in pain to stand up.)
Dipper: (weary) Ah, man… this got outta hand in a hurry.
(One more thug comes at Stan on the other side of the counter. Dipper pushes him down and slams the counter's flip door on the guy's head.)
Stan: Yeah, thanks.
Dipper: (smiles) All done.
(Suddenly, the big thug from before enters the room. He grabs Dipper and forces him into the bathroom off to the side. He throws him headfirst into a urinal.)
Dipper: (disgusted) Oh man… That is nasty.
Big thug: (aggressively) Come on.
Dipper: Now, just… just gimme a second there, mate. Be right with you.
(He stands up and stretches out. He tries to hit the big thug in the torso but it doesn't affect him. The thug lifts Dipper up and throws him into a stall at the end of the bathroom. Dipper shakes off the pain and goes back out.)
Dipper: Oh God… Okay, ready for more.
(He dodges the thug's attack and kicks his leg. The thug gets caught off guard and drops to his knees. Dipper grabs his head and slams it into the urinal. He tries to beat him some more but the thug gets back up and pushes him into the stall again. Dipper comes back out.)
Dipper: (annoyed) Lay off the steroids, pal.
(He tries to attack once again but the thug picks him up and forces him back into the stall. He throws him down onto the toilet. As the thug's about to smack down, Dipper quickly grabs the toilet's tank cover and breaks it on the big thug's head. His head goes down into the toilet bowl and the seat closes over it. Dipper slowly gets up and shakes off his aches. Stan calls from outside.)
Stan: You all right in there? You hurt?
Dipper: (smirks) Just my pride. They're gonna need a plunger.
(He exits the bathroom and he and Stan head for the back of the bar behind the counter.)
Stan: Come on, let's go, Dipper. We can get out the back.
(They enter a kitchen where three more thugs are.)
Thug: Stop him. I've got the old geezer.
(Two advance on Dipper and he quickly subdues them with a frying pan. The third is put down by Stan who pushes a shelf down on him.)
Stan: (smirks) How's that for ya? (to Dipper) Ready to go, kid?
Dipper: Yeah.
Stan: Let's go.
(The leave the bar through the back door and enter an alleyway. They try to leave but find Robbie and more thugs blocking their way on both sides.)
Robbie: (tauntingly) Oops.
Dipper: Aww, crap.
Stan: Ahh… damn it.
(Robbie grabs Dipper and throws him down against the side of the alley. A thug does the same with Stan. Another tries to move in on them but Robbie holds him back.)
Robbie: Hey, hey, hey… They've had enough. (to Dipper and Stan) Haven't you, dudes?
(The thugs back up as a black car slowly pulls into the alley. Dipper tries to get up but Robbie stops him.)
Robbie: (firmly) Don't. Stay down.
(The car stops a few yards away. Bill gets out of the passenger side and opens the back passenger door. He smiles evilly as a woman steps out holding up an umbrella. She walks up to Dipper and Stan revealing to be a light tan skinned elderly woman with dark pink hair and a black leather dress. Dipper and Stan know who she is and glare at her.)
Woman: (bitterly) Hello, Stanley.
Stan: Giffany.
Giffany: (looks at Dipper) Still wallowing in the gutter with your protege, I see. Not very dignified for a man of your age.
Dipper: Shoulda known you'd be behind this.
(She folds her umbrella.)
Dipper: (mockingly) Oh, careful now. Wouldn't want you to melt.
Giffany: (laughing humorlessly) Same cocky little shit. So fearless…
(She takes out the handle off her umbrella and reveals it to be a knife.)
Giffany: (creepily) I wonder what you're really afraid of…
(She gently drags the knife against Dipper's face. He continues to put up a brave glaring look at her.)
Giffany: Not bullets, or blood, or broken bones… No, you get off on all this, don't you? Cheating death... or not.
(She lifts up his necklace with her knife and sees his ring. She lets out a sinister laugh.)
Giffany: (to Stan) Mr. Pines, I won't harm your precious boy...
(She cuts the string around Dipper's neck takes the ring. She glares at the treasure hunter.)
Giffany: I merely want what's mine.
(She walks back to the car. Dipper starts to get back up.)
Dipper: Gimme that back!
(As he stands up, Robbie suddenly pulls a gun out.)
Robbie: Oh, no, you don't!
(He pulls the trigger and it goes off letting out a bang. Dipper clutches his chest and shouts in pain. He falls back down and closes his eyes. A big red stain appears on his white shirt. Giffany turns around and sees what happened.)
Giffany: (shocked) Robbie!
(Stan tries to check on Dipper.)
Stan: (worried) Oh, no! Oh God, no!
Robbie: Shut up!
(He points the gun at him and it goes off again. Stan clutched his chest and shouts in pain too. He falls next to Dipper and closes his eyes. A big red stain appears on his shirt.)
Giffany: (upset) You fool!
Robbie: (sarcastically) Oh, you're welcome, your majesty.
Bill: (sternly) Giffany, we have to get out of here.
(Giffany shoots Robbie a dirty look.)
Giffany: You're fired!
Robbie: Oh, come on, they were a right pair of assholes!
(She says nothing more and gets back in car with Bill. The other thugs quickly leave the alley. Robbie stands to the side as the car starts up and drives away leaving Robbie all alone with Dipper and Stan's bodies.)
So there's Robbie playing the English guy Charlie Cutter but he's not English. He's just an American who's lived in England for a while. There's also human versions of Giffany and Bill playing Marlowe and Talbot, the main antagonists of this game. Now if you haven't played the game, you're probably confused at what's happened so far. Well let me just say that in this installment, things aren't what they seem. And as you can guess, Dipper Drake's ring is the key plot motivator in this. It had the coordinates to find Francis Drake's fake coffin which helped lead to El Dorado in the first installment but we'll soon learn it has a much greater purpose.