Author's Note: Howdy y'all! Hope you're all staying safe and healthy. Welcome to day two of Bayojeanne Week 2020! I'm so pleased with the positive feedback I received on yesterday's fic and I only hope to receive more as the week goes on. Thank you so much! The prompt for today is 'shadows'. Also posted on AO3 and Tumblr. Anyway, I hope you enjoy! WARNING: This fic contains mentions of past abuse and trauma.

"And you said 'no, these demons will fall

You're so precious to us all'

And I said 'I can't do this alone

I still need you to hold

So don't let go, because I'm afraid'"

I Exist I Exist I Exist by Flatsound

Cereza knew something was off with Jeanne. It was obvious. It shouldn't have been surprising, considering that she was recently rescued from Inferno, and a desperate creep of a demon, but it seemed like more than that. She was determined to figure out what it was.

"Dearest?" She asked gently. The two of them were lying in bed, preparing to go to sleep. Jeanne, who was turned away from the dark-haired witch, grunted in response, seemingly half-asleep. Cereza snorted at her lack-luster reply, before continuing.

"How are you doing? I know it can't be...easy. The whole ordeal with Inferno and Alraune...I just want to do whatever I can to make you feel better. I love you."

Cereza moved an arm to wrap around Jeanne's front. She could feel the stiffening of her girlfriend's frame and knew she had heard. She frowned in concern.

Jeanne hesitated before replying. "It's not just that, Cereza. It was also...seeing him."

It suddenly clicked for the older witch. Seeing Balder...Of course. That must have been painful for her.

"Seeing him and knowing what he would end up doing to me. And not being able to do anything about it. That almost hurts more than the fact that my soul was nearly eaten by a demon. At least being eaten would be quick. Unlike the years I suffered under him."

Jeanne's voice was dry. Cereza knew she rarely cried. She had only seen it a few times in their time together, and it was almost always for someone else, instead of for herself. The white-haired witch sighed and rolled over to face her lover, her arm sliding off of her in the process.

"I know I can't change the past. Well, I guess I could have. But I know it would have probably created yet another time loop for us to deal with. And...I couldn't stand the thought of hurting you like that."

"Jeanne, you-"

"Cereza, don't deny it. I know you loved him before Aesir took him. Maybe even after too. He's your father, you have every right. And I don't have any right to take that from you."

"But you were hurt! You were so badly hurt!"

"And you weren't? I saw what losing him did to you the first time."

Cereza quieted at that for a moment, before continuing. "I don't want this to be about me. I'm doing fine. Surprisingly fine. I got closure and answers as to why he did what he did. I want you to feel better now. What can I do to make that happen?"

Jeanne shut her eyes and sighed yet again. "Just hold me. Please?"

The short-haired witch obliged. "I love you. More than anything. You can talk to me if you want to."

"I know. I will. I just need time. I love you too."