Hi! This is my first Snowbarry fic, it was an idea that I had a lot of time in my head and finally I wrote it, I hope you like it.
I recommend you to listen while you read the song Here without you by 3 doors down and/or before you go by Lewis Capaldi.
Also an apology if there is any mistake in the narration or with the spelling, I want to clarify that English is not my native language and it is a little difficult for me.
Well, that's all.
Joe found Barry, who was still wearing his Flash suit; he was sitting on the pipeline, with his head in his hands.
A few minutes earlier, he had received a call from Harry, who had informed him of what had happened an hour ago. He immediately went to STAR Labs.
When he arrived, he met Harry and gave him the details of what had happened. Apparently, Barry had not spoken to anyone and Cisco went home.
The detective, still shocked by the news, approached his son sitting next to him, without saying anything, he put a hand on his shoulder; Barry, looked at his father, who realized he was crying; Joe said nothing.
"This didn't have to happen Joe, not like this" more tears fell from Barry's eyes "it all happened so fast and I couldn't help it".
1 hour earlier.
Barry, Caitlin, Cisco; and Harry were chatting on the cortex when the monitor began to blink indicating a meta alert; immediately, the four friends got to work.
"Someone broke into Mercury Labs," Harry reported to the speedster, who was already in his Flash suit.
"Got it" he said, heading at high speed to his mission. Caitlin and Cisco were already with Harry on the monitors.
Barry arrived, finding Reverse Flash there and the meta, Milie Rawlins, known as Sunshine, at his side.
"Flash, nice to see you again," said Thawne, with a smile on his face.
"Yeah, I can't say the same," said Barry, with a hint of contempt in his voice.
"What are you coming for now?"
"You know perfectly well what I want, but now I've got a little help," he said, pointing to the meta human at his side.
A few minutes later, Flash finds himself fighting Sunshine; meanwhile, Reverse Flash escapes. Barry couldn't let go, so he called his friends for help through communications; a breach appeared next to Frost and Vibe, behind him.
"You take care of Sunshine, I'll go after Thawne" indicated Flash to his friends "be careful" he told Frost, she looked at him.
"Don't worry, I got it" she assured him "see you later" saying this, Barry left and she joined Cisco.
Barry ran around with Thawne for a while trying to stop him until he made it. He grabbed him by the neck and slammed his back into the wall.
"Come on, Flash, you got me, now you can kill me" said Thawne, trying to provoke Barry "Do it!"
"No, I won't, I'm not like you," replied Barry, causing his enemy to laugh mockingly.
"Of course not, you're too much of a coward to do it."
Barry was already tired, he just wanted Thawne to stop hurting, he had tried to reason with him before, on other occasions, but it had been useless, he hadn't given up, and he definitely wouldn't now.
"What do you want from me?" he asked, already tired.
"Remember, you're not a hero, Flash; someone you love always ends up dying because of you".
Barry, hated that his words would always affect him, because he knew he was right; he had already lost too many, people he loved and if someone else died, because of him, he wouldn't stand it. As long as Thawne is alive, it won't end, he knows that, but he can't kill him, not now.
His thoughts were interrupted by Frost's voice through communications, he was calling for help, it seemed that it was proving difficult for his friends to stop Sunshine.
Immediately, Barry's fear took over as he listened to his friend. He had to go help them, he needed them. He knew he would regret what he was about to do, but he couldn't leave Caitlin and Cisco alone. He would let Thawne go, again, as he always does, but then he would find the time to catch him again.
"Looks like your friends need help, Flash," said Thawne, who seemed to hear her thoughts.
"Listen to me Thawne, this is not going to stand, I'll come back and finish you," Barry said, anger in his voice.
"We'll see, Flash" he reaffirmed "you better hurry, you don't want anyone to die today".
Barry let go of his grip and with a last look at him, he ran back to his friends.
In an instant he was on the scene of the battle, but there was no sign of the three metas; they had probably moved during the fight, Barry thought. He was about to look for his friends when he heard Cisco scream very loudly.
"CAITLIN!" Barry tensed up when he heard his name, fear came over him, and without thinking he immediately ran.
Barry stopped, there was no sign of Sunshine anywhere, he looked for his friends and when he found them he was frozen; Cisco was on his knees, his arms were down and his head was in his hands; and in front of him, lying on the ground, Caitlin, seriously injured, breathing heavily and almost out of breath. He simply ran, even with his super speed, feeling that he was too slow and afraid that he would not reach her in time.
Barry, dropped to the other side, immediately took Caitlin in his arms very carefully and delicately, fearing to hurt her more and shaking he kept her as close as possible to him, afraid to let go and lose her.
He felt his whole world collapse under him; he had feared for this moment ever since he met Caitlin and it was even more difficult when he discovered his feelings for her. And finally his greatest fear was in front of him, the love of his life, was dying.
"It hurts so much" Caitlin groaned in pain, and breathing heavily. Barry heard her and broke down.
"I know Cait, I know" her eyes filled with tears and she started stroking her hair, trying to soothe her pain.
Caitlin began to tremble, her skin was getting pale, like when Frost appeared, but this time it was different; there was no white hair, no shining orbs eyes, not Frost, just Caitlin, his Cait and he was losing her.
"You'll be fine, I promise," said Barry more to him than to her, in an attempt to stop his thoughts and his anxiety of seeing her in that state.
But, he wouldn't, she was too hurt and weak, her body wouldn't take it anymore, Caitlin felt it.
"No, I won't" said Caitlin, she took a breath and looked at Cisco, slowly she moved her hand and took her friend's hand between hers, making him look at her.
"Cisco... Thank you... For being my best friend, for- for being there when I needed you" gasped and took a breath "we had the best time... Moments together and that's how I want you to remember me, okay?"
"Caitlin, no, please" replied Cisco, affected by her friend's words, she gave him a pleading look; Cisco felt "I will".
He couldn't take it anymore, he couldn't see his friend suffering, he was in too much pain and didn't want to accept his fate. Without saying anything he got up, and walked away leaving Barry and Caitlin alone.
"I'm sorry, Barry," said Caitlin, finally.
"Shhh, don't apologize Cait, just stay with me." Tears were already streaming down Barry's face.
Caitlin's time was running out, and before she left she had to tell him how she felt about him, she needed him to know.
"There's something I have to tell you, Barry," she gasped and took a breath. "I wish I could have said it another time, but I need you to know," she took another breath and Barry just nodded, "I'm in love with you. I- I spent nine months... By your- by your side, waiting for you to wake up from your coma... And when you did and I looked at you and I- I felt something very special..." he gasps again "I ignored it... But as time went by, it got stronger and all those times you saved my life and when you arrived injured, I was terrified of losing you and I couldn't lie to myself anymore" she took a breath again "I never said it, because I didn't want to lose your friendship and you" ended Caitlin gasped, tears streaming down her cheeks.
Caitlin's words ended up destroying Barry, he also felt the same way, he had wanted to confess his feelings for her, how much he loved her and how important she was to him, but his pride and fear of losing her had stopped him, trying to put it aside, and now he regretted it so much.
"I'm sorry Cait, I'm sorry, I hid my feelings too, I was afraid of losing you too, so I preferred to keep you by my side, even though it killed me not being able to kiss and hug you, I couldn't stop seeing your smile every day. I'm in love with you, Caitlin".
She had wanted to hear his words for so long and had finally said it. In that moment, calm invaded her, she finally stopped feeling pain, her body no longer trembled, she now felt lighter.
"Barry, it doesn't hurt anymore, because I'm in the arms of the man I love, the man I will always love, my hero."
"No, no Cait, please don't do this to me, you can't leave me," he says crying and holding it tighter against him.
"Promise me, Barry; with or without your speed, you will still be you" she smiles weakly and almost breathlessly.
"I promise," he says and places a kiss on her forehead.
"I love you, Barry Allen" with what little strength she has left she raises her hand to caress his cheek.
"I love you too, Caitlin." Barry approaches her and places his lips on hers, kissing her gently.
At that moment, Caitlin's hand leaves her cheek, falling heavily beside her, the little heat that was left on her disappears, her skin becomes totally pale and her body becomes rigid and heavy.
Barry looks at her crying, she already with her eyes closed. Cisco approaches his friend and they both cry for their friend. Caitlin was gone, forever.
Joe heard his son dismayed and sad, he hugged him and Barry cried in his arms. He had lost the love of his life, another person had died and Barry felt guilty.
"Barry, this is not your fault, you did your best."
"No Joe, I was too late and now Caitlin's dead, Thawne was right I'm not a hero."
"yes, you are, to Caitlin you were and always will be."
1 month later
"Hi my love, I'm sorry I didn't come yesterday, but these days we've had some metas to beat and you know Flash has to work, Cisco helps me but we always need more help".
Barry was standing in front of the gravestone, on which could be read
Caitlin Snow, beloved daughter and friend.
"I really miss you, Cait," he sighed slowly.
The day after Caitlin died, she had a sad and emotional funeral led by the team Flash. Oliver, Felicity and Kara had also attended, Barry had given them the news hours after what had happened, who on learning it arrived as soon as possible in Central City. The days passed and Caitlin's absence was felt more and more, especially for Barry.
Every day since the funeral, Barry visits Caitlin's grave, bringing her flowers and telling her about his day.
"It hasn't been easy for Cisco either, he's still in pain, now we're both closer as friends, but I know we'll get over it in time"
He looked at the gravestone in silence for a moment and then sighed.
"Well, time to go, was a long day and I'm a bit tired, I'll see you tomorrow" he placed the flowers on the gravestone "I love you".
Barry said goodbye, as he does every day, to the love of his life.