I do not own any of the characters or rights to South Park nor any publish creds of G.O.H I'm simply a decent fan of both and see some interest in a combined story. Btw While SP is the world the story operates around the theme and narrative is that of GOH this is not a faithful adaptation of either lol . Reviews accepted please enjoy….
Craig Tucker: God Of Highschool-{Mostly Follows story from Craig's pov}
'Looking back it feels weird to say this but... When my school got into "martial arts" We got INTO Martial Arts. It all started years ago, of course with assholes arguing"
6 years ago (Mar 17 2013)
Just another average abit too cold for school, school day. Math had thankfully let out early and Lunch was in full swing. My usual seat across from Token who was droning on about some project or whatever head deep into some kind Literature when all of a sudden.
"Fuck off you Jew rat!" an all too familiar shrill voice ripped through the cafeteria grabbing all the attention in the room like some kind of social black hole, even my instinctively rolled eyes were found gravitating to the newest display of ignorance that was (no doubt) about to ruin my lunch. "I for one have had it with your intolerance"
"Intolerance?!" Squealed an equally annoying moron, This one accompanied by a distinct green hat and curly auburn hair "When you can go 5 minutes without spewing racist hate speech, Then maybe you'll qualify to tell anyone what counts as intolerant" Seethed the ginger, Ugh I just wish they'd argue lower or farther away...or kill each other, that last one would work for sure.
I was thinking of ways they're double suicide would pan out when my peripheral vision noticed a tuft of messy golden lochkes was anxiously stammering my way "Oh, Hey Tweek" Token says beating me by just a second as the blonde plops into the empty seat next to me "H-Hey guys" My heads falls onto the smaller boys shoulder and i grumble some form of greeting. Tweek doesn't even bat an eyelash at our odd contact that had been a weird staple of our friendship since around middle school. Technically we used to date in the 4th and 5th grade but that all died out when some other stupid thing was on everyones mind, I say technically because it was more so some very suggestive imagery of us together than an actual relationship and it made girls super happy that they knew and supported the "gay kids" (Besides part of me still thinks Fatass had somthing to do with it) Eventualy we weren't seen as a couple anymore just close friends but by that time our kinship had already evolved into skinship and had no signs of stopping. "Are you ok Craig?" Tweek nudges me shaking my head so i move finally move it from his shoulder.
" Yeah I'm ok, just dumbass's being loud" I groan unable to hold back the unnecessary ",as usual~" Tweek sits back and sips the thermos he "of course" has and gives a quizzical look to the idiots.
"Hm,w-What do you think they're arguing about?" He asks
"Who knows." Token fired back disinterested
"I know what it is, Something stupid? We should stop looking before we get dragged into it-"
"Dude, it's not your lucky day" As Token says this I glance up and as if on cue the Jerkass squad was steadily approaching my lunch table. I immediately throw my head back and groan loudly in preparation to be irritated "Ughhhhhhhhh, What do you want?" I Should've went to the Library with Clyde
"Chill dude we just wanted your opinion on something-" Stan says
"Opinion? Mine, or ours?" I asked admittedly a bit curious and hating myself for it already
"It doesn't matter because I already know who you're gonna choose anyway" Cartman continues making me regret my damn curiosity yet again. As soon as he says "choose" My interest deflates instantly and it seems Tweek feels the same as his face lost all visible emotions with mine
"Dude they're so not gonna choo-" Since i don't care I'll just interrupt Kyle
"Wait this isn't something stupid like whos the hottest girl in class, or like had the most outrageous periods is it?'
"Uhhhh, I don't think that last one's a thing…..Like at all" Token interjects with his face twisted i just shrug it off.
"Mmfk Mmm ghh" Kenny just talks and I really can never understand him when he's wearing that damn hood. "Hgmf Mmm mmm gmh" When he finally stopped i think he was smiling under all those layers "Hmhk gmkh nm?"
To my surprise Stan looked at the Orange jacket weirdo and said what everyone had been thinking "What?" Which spurred me on
"McCorrmick, No one can understand you with that stupid hood on, By the way it's like 70 degrees in here why are you even wearing that, Furthermore can someone that isn't Kyle, Cartman or Stupid tell me what the hell you want?" Yup should have went with Clyde.
Stan being the only one i didn't exactly tell to shut up though i did just call him stupid spoke up "Ok Dude chill..God" he said and I guess waited a few seconds for 'dramatic tension' before continuing "Ok dudes Who do you thinks' the strongest kid in school?" Is he serious?
"Pfft, Me" I say without a second thought.
"Craig you can't choose yourself , that's cheating" Fatass whines. Stan deadpans and crosses his arms mirroring my annoyed expression
"Dude, you voted for yourself like 2 minutes ago"
"Agh, I mean it's between us Four only, yeah that"
This time Token interjects "Wait, the strongest in the school, only between you 4? That doesn't even make sense. Shouldn't everyone be included."
"Gah' I think uh-um it's Kenny" Tweek says nervously, shrinking closer into me as to avoid Cartman's imminent meltdown
"Wrong! Kenny's too poor to be the strongest" Cartman spits "his constitution is to weak from malnourishment"
"Well I'm saying Butters" Token says still seeming as bored as when they first walked over
"Butters?" The idiots repeat like they didn't hear him. But I'm pretty surprised too. Like Butters? Strongest?
"I mean he deals with you guys the most and he's still your friend after all the awful stuff you did to him,especially Cartman. And that my friend takes immense strength" Token responds not even peering up from his book. Not even a hint of sarcasm in his voice
"I said between us four only!" Fatass is furious now and i have to admit it's really funny how mad he is with Token who doesn't even seem to be paying attention. "Butters doesn't count."
"And I say strongest in the school means strongest period, and not just you four morons" Token spits back eyes intently scanning the page he was on. "So we should be able to choose anyone in the school"
"Yeah, shouldn't anyone qualify? " Oh god no, Cartman's obnoxious howling about this shit finally reached the girls table who were now walking toward mine. Wendy Testabitch followed by the rest of her stooges saunter over to stare down Cartman
"Huh what do you want Wendy!?" Cartman's words are drenched in venom
"I want to know what you Dumbass boys think you're doing"
"Correction: what Cartman thinks he's doing" Token interrupts
"Yeah, and we've already said our peace so if all of you would just scream at each other somewhere else that'd be awesome" I say apprehensively. Mostly because the blonde next to me has noticeably begun shaking harder. I so want them to go away even if his presence curled into my side is somewhat soothing. The only thing that Tweek hates more than crowds are loud ones and that seemed to follow Eric like the fucking plauge.
"It's none of your beeswax anyway cause I didn't ask you b-sides like any girl could be stronger than a boy"
"Hm, are you gonna let him say that Stan" She stares daggers straight into the mentioned boy who immedieatly played stupid
"I..Uh ,Hi Wendy" On second thought he might not be playing
"And anyway didn't I kick your ass in the 4th Grade that should automatically make me stronger than you." This made Hedi burst out laughing. Of Course Fatass was fuming at this point and seeing no end to this madness I cup Tweeks ear to whisper to him.
"Clyde's in the Library" As soon as I said library he was gone rushed past bystanders, through the crowds and out the lunch room. I glance across from me and catch an appreciative head nod from Token
"Jeez Craig, What didja hickey him to hard?" waves of students let out audible groans
"Go kill yourself Cartman" Wendy jumps in before I can
"Hey you're not supposed to say that about anyone Wenday, cause you all would cry and feel miserable if I actually did it"
"Well It'd definitely prove you're not strongest" Chuckled McCormick as he had already began stripping off his parka…. finally "Strong guys don't usually off themselves"
"What do you know Kenny, you're too poor to be strong, all people on food stamps are way too malnourished to fight"
"I know a thing or two about being strong and you dude are not it"
"Dude how are we even measuring strength here? Like who can lift the most or, or biggest muscles"
"Nah thats gay we'll let Craig and his boyspazz do that, It's obvious that whos ever strongest would be the one who won the most fights" Cartman says with this cocky smirk that makes me wanna break his nose
"Yup, the one of us that can kick the most ass is the ruler, it's actually pretty poetic if you think about it." Kenny flashes that dumb gapped tooth smile at me
"Really? Cause it's pretty stupid when I think about?" I say nonchalantly
"Yeah guys count me out too, I don't wanna play your dumb game." And It seemed like that was that, after Toke and I dropped it the girls did too and Cartman went on to throw another lengthy tantrum. Leaving me in the peace he had interrupted to begin with and my day continued still.
"Shockingly" it was easy to forget about this Strongest student on earth thing when I had the remainder of the day to take up thought space. It wasn't until the walk home (well Tweek Bros) that it came up again. Because the school bus wasn't allowed to drop Tweek off downtown we would occasionally walk our anxious friend to work when he permitted company or it wasn't too cold out. Tweek Bros was only about a 10 min walk from the school and our neighborhood was only another 10 maybe 15 min walk from there well ours being Me Clyde and Tweek, Token's wealthy ass lived in the opposite direction a good 20 min away from everything
*growls* "Aww man I'm starving, I can't believe would make me skip lunch just for a stupid project." Clyde groaned as we made our downtown "That's gotta be some kind of crime against humanity"
"It's your own fault dude, I told you that project would never work"
"But how wouldn't it? You can't explain the softening of noodles, No one can!" Clyde exclaims
"Spaghetti is not science Clyde!" Token sighs his facepalming so hard he leaves a red glint above his forehead
"Hehe,Besides m-maybe you wouldn't be so hungry if you didn't obsessively look up food porn every five minutes." Tweek giggles out. Suddenly Clyde is holding Tweeks shoulder his face was an intense stare that met Tweeks soft eyes "Gah!"
"Tweekers, being a Foodie is a way of life" The sudden seriousness of his tone made us all laugh,even Tweek let out a nervous giggle as he shrank from Clyde's touch
"D-don't call me Tweekers"
"Aw~, you guys are being so mean today,I should've gotten on the bus with Jimmy" Clyde has a habit of "whining". I mean for a dude he's sensitive...Like really sensitive, he's been a crybaby since we met in kindergarten and had kept the streak going. While now and then he'd actually cry about something. Nowadays he had this whine it was just annoying enough for me not to (immediately) hit him. I think he kind of does it as an in joke, Since we all know he cries and comfort him he fake cries and it gives the same result without being to emotional for us. I think
I pause cause thats the first time I heard Jimmy mentioned today. "Oh shit, Where was Jimmy today?"
"He skipped lunch with me and Tweek in the Library" Clyde continued "Actually dude was on a roll today he was practicing jokes for some announcer job thingy he's supposed to do"
I was probably looking spaced out or something because I caught Clyde's gaze and he was looking at me with that 'I know you're thinking about something face'
"So.. comrades what did i miss in lunch today?" Tweek immediately let out a gasp at Clydes comment
Token shrugged "Chicken tenders? Really dude you didn't miss much" he taps his head lightly as if he was shaking a memory free "Ah there was this thing with Eric today he got into with Wendy again"
"Heh, Cartman? What about" he said I think already checking out of the conversation.
"They were arguing about who would be the strongest in the school" Token says nonchalantly now having Clyde's full attention.
"Whoa Cool, so who did they say it was"
"Did you not hear the whole part about them arguing dude?" Token blandly states "No one could decide on who the strongest was"
"I said It was Me" I say a grin spreading across my face
"Ha,Well that makes sense"
"That I'm the strongest, obviously but how would we get the world to acknowledge how great I am"
"No jerkass it makes sense that no one could decide, I mean everyone in our school is pretty crazy but the last 2 years have been really mellow considering" I pause to because i'm baffled that Clyde just made sense. I glance toward him and I see Token making a similar confused face.
"I mean the last legit fight was when Wendy kicked Eric's teeth in and that was in the fourth grade"
"Haha, She mentioned that today too, first time i thought about it in awhile" Token weezed out holding his stomach "She beat the shit out of him!"
"And other than that Nothing really. We've just never actually fought as much as regular kids" Clyde continues this weirdly logical tangant "Ha, remember when the idiots(correction "our" nickname for them) convinced the two of you to fight" Clyde points toward Tweek and I. Immediately I begin thinking back on that whole fiasco and i can tell Tweek is to his cheeks are flushed giving his skin this peach tint to it. We had both been embarrassed about that fight and after the dating thing it was the definition of ancient kiddie history lost to time and elementary school until this moment
"Oh, Yeah I remember that, God I think that's really when I started to hate those guys. They even bet $5 on it, didn't even split it with me after I won"
"After you won?" The sarcasm in Tweets voice was unshakable as he cast this look of cocky angst my way.
Clyde picked up on this in a second "Oh look at the fire in his eyes, a lover's quarrel rekindled, ReMatch,ReMatch" were a little more than a block away from Tweek Bros now and im sure if any customers were outside they would hear Clyde chanting like an Idiot
"GAH, that'd be way to much p-pr-pressure right now, I haven't boxed in years now my spacing is probably way off, plus I have a biology test tomorrow"
"Ah sweet Tweekers, you're a treasure" Clyde giggles out "But seriously no one in our whole school has been in a serious fight like ever so any talk about strength is subversive"
"Subversive? I didn't even think you knew that word"
"I mean I'm a football player, Token is daddy morebucks, Craig has the coldest heart in school, Wendy is basically a social justice leader, Cartman is a dangerous sociopath, I'm pretty sure I seen Kenny get impaled before, and Damian is the literal son of the devil so what exactly would we be counting as strong here" If Clyde making a convincing point wasn't shocking enough his words were like torpedos blasting all of Cartman's stupid ideas right out the water. And it left me drowning in my own thoughts.
Was I lame when I fought Tweek, we both ended up in the hospital but I don't really remember being hurt that bad. Come to think of it, I've never really seen Clyde fight either. It makes since that Token wouldn't rich people don't fight or can't? Stan's a wuss period, Kyle fights like a girl actually worse considering Wendy. Speaking of her shes hitting way above her weight class if that slugfest she had on Cartman holds any credit. Then again if memory serves Fatass can't throw a punch for shit so it was probably really easy given how pissed she was. And that's it, no other brawls come to mind, I mean nothing!? That weird right? I mean this towns pretty fucked but why don't the kids hate each other?...More
During my inner tangent we had somehow made it to Tweek Bros. The smell of coffee knocking loose my train of thought. "W-well thanks for walking me to work guys" Tweek thanks us
"It's no problem dude, It's boring to just go straight home after school anyway"
"Heh, says the dude in the McMansion" Clyde chimes "But yea Tweeks, anytime"
Times like this I just love how this blonds face lights up. When he's happy it's like the sky gets nothing to say I just nod. *growls* "Oh im gonna die if i don,t get some food in me stat, I'm gonna head home now"
"Hm, are you sure? If you're that hungry I could just buy you something?" Token says
"Nah dude, leftovers are calling my name. You can walk me home if you want though."
Token just shrugs "Alright, Craig ya coming?"
"Um, No i think i'll hang out here a little longer, see ya dudes"
"See ya dudes" And with that Clyde and Toke made their way down the road Leaving just Tweek and I (eat your heart out grammar)
After a second or two of just staring at each other I speak up "Um, don't you have to clock in or something?"
"Actually I still have 20 minutes before I'm early for work" he says looking at his phone "and my parents don't want me getting anymore overtime for awhile"
"Wow thats cheap" There is a hint of sarcasm in my usually monotone voice. Either Tweek picks up on it or my line was funny because he giggles at it.
"A-asshole" hey says with a light smile "Mind if we hang out here, I don't really wanna go in yet"
"Yeah me neither really" Tweek begins walking and somewhat wistfully I follow him to the alley behind Tweek Bros. Tweek Bros sat close to the middle of a small street store plaza, and it with neighboring shops created this narrow alley space in between the stores. After making our way through alley and over an oddly placed gate we made it to the back of Tweek Bros. There were the obvious things you'd find outside a stores alley a dumpster, some boxes stacked carelessly on top of each other and a few crates strewn about. Tweek garbs two of these crates making a makeshift seat for himself I just lean on the wall. For a few moments it's very quiet between us. Not an uncomfortable silence, honestly the exact opposite. After all the screaming that went on today, I welcomed the tranquil quiet that settled around us nothing but the sound of urban Colorado filling my was a sort of peace in the air that seemed to just wash over us as we paused there. I started to think it was weird to feel so calm when just minutes ago my head had been swimming with thoughts, but the sheer presence of Tweek Tweak next to me always seemed to mellow me out. "Hey,Tweek" my voice numbing out the atmosphere that had set in.
"Hm?" The suddenness of my voice seemed to jostle Tweek from his thoughts too.
"Remember back when we fought in the 3rd grade?" Tweek shrank a bit after I asked. His face becoming slightly red as he contemplated his answer
"Uh-um, Bits and pieces really" I probably shouldn't have asked like that. I realize this because I can panic wash over his face as he begins fidgeting with his fingers twisting around his blond mess "GAH! Uh W-w-what , Ugh wh-why is everyone talking about that today?"
I finally move grabbing the hand that threatened to pull hair out of his head "It's nostalgic i guess" Without releasing his hand I returned mine to my side on the wall. It's a bit awkward but he doesn't want his hand back right now anyway "Yea, we were so lame back then" I giggle before resting my eyes back on Tweek "You were pretty cool though"
Sparks fly again as greenish yellow pearls peer up at me and a soft smile spreads across his face "Me? Cool? Get your head checked man"
"I probably should, You learned boxing like a real badass, I just had Cartman throw his butt on me in a ring." Tweek stares at me his mocking my usual stony eyed look "Well of course in hindsight it was a bad idea"
We both erupt in laughter "Why did you learn Sumo,Haha you even showed up wearing the diaper thing, such a dork" he laughed out nearly doubling over.
"Well this diaper wearing dork sent you to the hospital," I said with a mischievous smirk
"And this boxing spazz did the same to you" He smirked back
"See what I mean you're a total badass" And for a moment the thoughtful silence fell back on us before I broke it yet again I'm thinking about doing it again"
"Mh?"
"Not Sumo again(never again) but I've been thinking I should actually learn how to fight ya know, if nothing else it'll keep me busy when you guys are gone working and stuff"
"When did you decide this?" His voice had a slightly nervous sound to it though I dismissed it as just his anxiety
"Today, just now actually, I don't want to be remembered as the kid in the diaper" I chuckled at this but Tweeks face remained somewhat twisted in thought
"You know what you want to learn?" Tweek mumbled mostly into his shirt that had made its way in between his teeth
"Eh, I don't know all Karate is the same right?" I shrugg out "Besides it's not official till my parents say yes, I'm sure it's gonna be fun convincing my mom"
Tweek hums to himself awhile then gazes up eyes locking with mine "You should do it" He says "I think it'd be really good for you"
"Yeah, after I get some real hands i'll be strongest for sure" I say this joking a bit as it came out but the serious look on his face takes me off balance and I stop "Ahem, you should do it too... you'd um want to"
"WHA! You can't be serious! I'm so uncoordinated and undisciplined. I mean you can you're strong and cool and GAH But I'm me"
He doesn't stop screaming until I give the hand i'm still holding a tight squeeze "Tweek chill out, I know you can do it because you're strong too"
The way he looks I can tell his mind is moving a billion miles a second, he makes that face macbooks would make when of death the spinning ball appears. There's this stark silence between us as little grumbles and unfinished thoughts spew from him only to be lost to the outside world. "Ok" Tweek finally lets out slightly surprising me as he did so. I was expecting him to at least spend the next 10 minutes explaining how he couldn't get the time off work or how his parents might think he's joining a gang
"Ok?"My response is more nasally than i'd like so I add in "Ahem, Good, I think having an outlet or some kind of stress relief will be good for you" I quickly added, "I'm not that you need it"
Were quite again for another short moment before he starts giggling with infectious glee "If we do start fighting were never going to get Clyde to shut it with all the rivalry reborn stuff." he managed while cracking up still.
"We'll be so jacked by then he won't even dare to make fun of us within punching distance" Raising my fist to emphasize my point. Seeming to somewhat get the point Tweek reaches out and fist bumps me
"Yea well just kick Clyde's butt"
"Hehe Promise?" For a second he looks caught off guard by my question be then he nods and flints that sunshine smile at me
"Promise" He says timidly with nervous hands dancing about his midsection only to be locked in place holding his shirt down
Again all is silent for a moment, that is until Tweeks phone goes off. I suspect it's his parents calling, but Tweek stares at the rectangle in his palm absentmindedly before sliding the screen disabling what I now know was an alarm. I glance at him as he rises off the crates stretching. "Time to go in?"
*Yawns* "Nah, that was my 10 minutes early alarm, but I think I'm gonna head in anyway"Finally standing myself I shrug my bag back onto my shoulder "Gonna stick around for a bit?"
"Actually I think i'm gonna head home now" I say making my way for the fence again
"A-are you sure you don't even want a hot chocolate to go or anything?" He asks looking back at me unlocking the back door to Tweek Bros.
"I'm good, See ya later Tweekers"
He glares at me "D-don't call me that A-asshole!" and my heart briefly tightens
Tweeks looks after me making my out of the alley before disappearing through the backdoor. My head begins racing but with happy thoughts, got this sense of ease at Tweeks response. When he said he'd get stronger with me it. It? It made me really want to. Like Really really want to, I can't describe it.
Almost like I can't describe the weird feeling I get when I cross the street over from Tweek Bros. and spot Eric Cartman walking out of the Coffee shop silver briefcase in hand sporting that shit eating grin. We lock eyes which only makes his smile wider before our contact is cut completely by Eric entering a white van with the words "Amazon" written across the side. Said van pulled off as soon as Cartman stepped in. "What the fuck is amazon?" Is the only thing I can say before trudging home in confusion
By the time i'm walking into my thankfully toasty home, My heads still a buzz with thoughts of what I just said heard and saw. Between the weirdness at lunch and this indescribable feeling in my chest when I spoke to Tweek. My day was beginning verg on hallucinatory… And what the fuck was Cartman doing? Amazon?
I drown out my own thoughts in reruns of Red Racer while still contemplating how to explain what's in my head to my parents
MEANWHILE Tweek Bros Coffee
Tweek enters from the back room to find the quaint shop is sparse with already satisfied customers and his parents chatting comfortably behind the counter. They exchange greetings absentmindedly as his parents continue to talk and Tweek fastens his Apron around his waist. Still thinking about the conversation he shared with Craig the encouraging words giving him confidence "Mmm" Tweek hummed as he drifted through his thoughts only moved from them once he heard the door chime
Tweek POV
"Welcome!" Dad exclaims as the man makes his way up to the counter. I can feel something is off, even with my fathers usually jaunty and unsettlingly pleasant demeanor there was something peculiar about him today he seemed...Happier? Even while taking the customers order he was practically bouncing. "Um Mom, is there something wrong with dad," I almost whisper to her as to not turn my attention towards us "H-He seems a bit off today" Now seeing the man known as Richard Tweak happy was like seeing the sun during the day or a bird flying, nothing new. But seeing him sing to a complete stranger happy? Odd, but not uncommon my father has had spouts of this sort of boundless joy before like when Obama announced his candidacy, or when Stan's dad opened that bar, very recently there have been talks about legalized Maryjane that he seemed joyously optimistic about.
"Well, Tweek I can definitely say your father is indeed very happy today but he told me he wants to tell you over dinner." She seems really happy too but now I know i'm gonna be in the dark about this till we leave which makes my anxiety flare. I hate it when they keep stuff from me and they know it too but my dad and his damn surprises, Nothing could stop him from a dramatic reveal and y mo, such a saint supporting everyone is like her only hobby "But how are you Sweetie, you seem to have a lot on your mind too?"
"Mmm" I sigh heavy in my head, so much in fact that some of it became audible just not the part where I scream 'Just Fucking tell me already' I finally crumble under her gaze and speak again "Uh yeah, There actually a couple of things I wanted to talk to you guy about as well" My mother makes a curious face probably seeing the anxiouty in mine and I blurt out "Gah! I-It's nothing too serious or anything like that. Just s-s-some uya-"
Before I can finish my imminent meltdown my mother pulls me closer and began stroking my hair. This motion always made me relax even amidst my panic attacks, which had thankfully become less frequent with time "It's ok honey just calm down and think on it a moment, you can tell us all about it later ok, No need to rush through your thoughts" My mom is awesome she always has the perfect thing to say to get me to relax
My Dad who had taken care of the last customers was still humming some cheery toon and tapping his foot, He did seem genuinely delighted about whatever was making him so happy but there was still something weird. Well, weirder than a 40 something yr. old man singing to people from across a counter. For all my fathers excitement my mother seemed her natural self, which is unusual given his happy my parents revelled with each other and in my embarrassment, so why they weren't currently exchanging flirtations and sucking face was another thing to be cautious over.
Hours passed and I found myself enjoying simple quote of the cafe, settled into a relaxed boredom. My parents had long since departed to prepare an "extra special" dinner. I hate special. Meanwhile, having already closed about 2 hours before closing I sat in the deserted restaurant counting minutes before I could lock these doors and book it through this frozen wasteland to the solitude of a hot shower and warm bed. A familiar chiming rustled me from my thoughts, fishing out my phone I see a text from Craig " All's good over here, Did you get your folks to give the ok too?" Ugh of course his parents said yes already. Craigs family has one major difference than mine; His family's very Sane and unstable and MIne is Insane and very stable. When Craig spoke to his parents they listened, now they might not agree or even care about what he said, but more times than not even when they hated each other at least they knew why. But MY Family? My dad only listens to himself and profit margins, My mother only listens to my Dad and herself. And Me? I only scream and panic and nobody listens to that.
Shaking loose from my inpending panic attack i text Craig back "nOt Yet dude_ they didnttt listen to me" just as I hit send i shove my phone back into to pockets and zip up my worn out hoddie. Locking the doors to the cafe I book it home through the frigid Colorado air. Unsurprisingly my aparents are already chatting around the dinner table when I arrive home, Dad still wearing the same creepy grin he had at the shoppe.
"Tweek My boy!" He greets with all the rosy cheeked elation of a happy drunk (I wish he were drunk least i could blame his oddness on that like Stans dad, but no mine is just a chipper infant with drug coffee) "How was the old girl tonight"
"Uh, the Shoppe was fine dad" I say kicking off my shoes, Cautiously looking up th stairs (you never know when ninjas are gonna attack) "a-abit slow maybe"
Thoughtfully nodding Dad hums out semiaudibly "Well come on and sit down,seed of my loins. Tell us about your day. And I'll tell all about mine, boy howdy I have some Great news for you"
As soon as I hear him ask about my day my stomach flips inside out. Mind a race of Cartman and all the noise from lunch, My promise with Craig, Wait...Craig! "Umm..I-I'm gonna change for bed first!" I shout sarteling myself and both my parents before shooting up the stairs into my room and slaming shut the door. As I'm heaving leaning back on the door frame I can just make out my parents laughing dad saying "Ah, my adorable little spazz" (I hate it when they call me that) I take my phone out I was apparently getting messages during my walk. Mostly mssages from group chats but Craig had sent a few more. Telling me to not be nervous, Pointers on how to ask, the last was a link to this funny video of a cat 'talking' about other animals. He sends me stuff like this to try and make me laugh… Sometimes I hate that it works.