Healing
Summary: This is a companion piece to my other story, "Respite". It's not easy for Seven and Chakotay to start their new life in the Alpha Quadrant. But they are getting there… C/7
Disclaimer: I don't own anything.
He broke down under the happily blinking stars one night.
He tried to remain strong for Seven's sake, but it was getting harder with every passing day. He could feel the rage and despair coiling inside him like a cobra ready to attack.
It was so unfair.
Seven had already fought her battles. She had already faced judgment and failure. And she came out of it victorious. She had become a charming, intelligent young woman. She might be awkward, even naïve at times and brutally honest and pragmatic at others, but she was, without a doubt, the most exquisite human being he'd ever met. She was the woman who smiled at his antics… who laughed with him. She was the woman who curled up next to him when they went to bed and lazily smiled at him first thing in the morning when they woke up.
They took that away from her. And so much more.
The woman who slowly flourished under his watchful gaze on Voyager was now only a shell of herself; her beautiful face once again expressionless and her blue eyes empty.
His chest ached as the cool night air refused to enter his lungs.
He didn't know what they had done to her. He didn't dare to ask the Doctor and the hologram didn't offer. The sight of her, withered and pale, had burnt into his mind, giving him nightmares ever since. Just like the knowledge that she, sure as hell, was not kept in a nice well-lit room at Starfleet Medical like they wanted to present her.
He bristled at the thought that it wasn't enough that they were lying in his face but he also had to fight for his right as her husband… to fight for her right as a human being. Starfleet had taken everything from her that it stood for.
He gasped for air as impotent rage took hold of him.
He saw red when he returned from his mission which everybody had pegged as a life-time opportunity. When B'Ellana told him what she and Tom were suspecting was happening, Chakotay was ready to break into Starfleet HQ and snatch Seven away – far away. His old friend and her husband backed him up wholeheartedly. It was only Kathryn's level-headed reasoning which finally cooled his raging mind. Seven was safe for the time being, there was no reason for him to act rashly and put himself – and Seven, too – on the other side of the law. What law? he wanted to scoff.
In retrospect, however, the Admiral was right. Even though his blood boiled at the fact that the Court didn't recognize Seven's status as an individual – that would have meant admitting that Starfleet had screwed up when they stripped her of that very same right in the first place –, after a gruelling trial, Seven was finally free of Starfleet. As her husband – Spirits, he still felt embarrassed about how he went about proposing to her still on board of Voyager but infinitely grateful that she accepted –, her custody was finally granted to him.
The first thing he did after leaving the courthouse was to throw his pips in the face of Starfleet, gather Seven's broken body and leave, never looking back. He was disgusted with the system as it was.
He stumbled, his hands blindly reaching out for support which was not there. He had failed her.
He should have known better than to believe that it would be so easy to return to the Alpha Quadrant. Admiral Paris had always been optimistic about their prospect but not everybody was so welcoming towards a large part of the crew. After their return, there were celebrations, and there were the compulsory debriefings which were followed by quick reinstatements and admissions to Starfleet and the handing out commissions. Everyone was kept busy with their new lives. Too busy.
He and Seven were unsure as to how to proceed but, finally, they considered Starfleet their best option. He was promptly given a commission on the USS Seahawk and was sent on a six-month deployment. Now he knew why they had sent him to the edge of nowhere. Seven was to teach at the Academy and contribute to the research against the Borg. At least, he felt better knowing Seven safe under the protection of Starfleet.
How wrong he had been!
She had burnt her own cortical node to make it all end.
He broke at last with a tortured cry leaving his lips as his knees gave out under him and he fell to the ground helplessly. He didn't cry; he was aware of that much but he was shaking uncontrollably, his large frame trying to shrink into itself.
It was a tentative touch on his shoulder that finally jerked him out of his trance. It took a serious effort to lift his head but, when he finally managed, he found himself looking into Seven blue orbs. Even though the curtain of his despair, he could see his own feelings reflecting in her alert blue eyes. Her surprised gasp kicked him into action and he fell into her chest with desperate sobs.
"I am here," she reassured him and her voice enveloped him even as her arms were more tentative as they circled his shoulders. "I am here."
Chakotay felt Seven slowly crawl out of bed and listened to the silent thuds of her footsteps as she left their room. When they ceased and he couldn't hear any movement in the house, he sat up confused. Worry settled in when, after a while, there was still no sign of Seven and he kicked away the blanket to follow her.
She wasn't well; he knew that. Despite the miraculous psychological recovery, she had gone through in the last few weeks, he knew that she was still struggling. She was very clear about her goals of becoming a "fully functional human being" again. Recalling her unforgiving words still made him cringe. He wanted to tell her that he couldn't see her anything less but he suspected his words would fall on deaf ears. So, he did the one thing he could: he supported her wherever he could; and in the process, he was forced to watch her struggle for humanity all over again.
Unfortunately, it wasn't her desire to learn which was behind her efforts. She wanted to survive, Chakotay realized with a pang in his heart. Behind every smile, every small gesture, there was her fear of being different, being not enough. He vowed to change that. And slowly but surely, her smile became less guarded, her gestures surer and second-guessing became just a little bit slower.
He was so proud of her.
Then, they had finally managed to track down Sekaya.
It was a shock to learn that his sister and her husband had died three years ago but, even reeling by his newfound loss, he was sure that he'd never forget Seven's mortified look when they were told that Sekaya and her family were on Ivor Prime when the Borg attacked. He would forever remember the jolt that shook her body as she was trying to provide comfort in his grief. He would never forget how she withdrew almost immediately; the only thing keeping her by his side was his desperate grip on her hand.
The progress she had made so far seemed a distant memory after that and Chakotay feared that he was losing her all over again.
She didn't even give her thoughts about taking in Sekaya's children who, through some kind of miracle, survived the massacre of Ivor Prime. She took everything in stride without complaining, as if bearing the new responsibilities as punishment for a sin she hadn't committed. He didn't want to press her but he couldn't not take the children, either. He just hoped that he had made the right decision, for everybody's sake.
She was tentative around the children, attentive but keeping from engaging them in any way. He knew the reasons behind her detachment but he feared that the kids would understand it as disinterest.
In the dark house, he found Seven at last perched awkwardly on the edge of Naran's bed. The boy was leaning against the headboard with a tear-stained face while – Chakotay realized – he was relating the horrors of that awful day when he had lost his parents. Seven was tense but attentive. He was sure that it was hell hearing what she'd already witnessed through the eyes of the Collective coming from the mouth of a little boy who'd been left so obviously traumatized by the events.
"I am sorry," he could hear Seven's choked voice and his heart broke.
In the semi-darkness, he could see Naran's eyes go wide just a second before he flung himself at Seven, locked his arms around her neck and buried his face into the crook of her neck as he started to cry anew. Seven stiffened imperceptibly, her tense back going even more taut before she slowly relaxed and brought her arms around the small frame of the boy. Chakotay looked on relieved until he realized that Seven's own shoulders were shaking. He was just about to move when a tiny shape, emerging from the darkness of the other end of the room, beat him to it, and he watched in stunned silence as Soona', too, latched herself on Seven. This time, Seven didn't hesitate to pull the little girl to her and the three of them huddled on the bed, crying in a tight embrace.
Despite the emotionally charged scene in front of him, Chakotay smiled.
They were healing.
His family would be fine.
THE END
Thanks for reading!