We Come Back Together
Poe is furious.
He can feel it churning within him, making him sick to his stomach as he thinks about everything that's happened in the past twelve hours alone; if he thinks about the future— did Rey make it to the Death Star? did Finn? how long do they have until the Final Order fleet leaves Exegol?—he will succumb to the mind-numbing fear that is even worse than the anger. So, he tries to focus on the ship, not on Rey or Finn or some goddamn Sith lord come back from the dead to destroy everything they've fought so hard for. If he's going to go after his friends and win this war, he needs the Falcon flying, and he needs it fast.
But it's a wreck. What the hell had happened to it on that Star Destroyer? He'd landed the Falcon on Kef Bir as best as he could—and yes, he has definitely seen worse—but sliding hard across the ground had still been one of his more difficult landings, damaging the ship even more. The repairs are not going well, even with C3-PO talking to the ship's computer, BB-8 working furiously on the hyperdrive, and Chewbacca rebuilding the landing gear. It's not enough, it's not going to work, Finn is going to die out there, drown in the ocean because he's a damn fool and Poe can't get there, can't even fix the ship he needs to save him—
"Dammit!" he shouts, kicking at the panel below him, over and over and over, pouring his fear and anger into every painful hit until Chewie grabs him and pulls him back.
"Yeah, I know," Poe tells him, deflating almost instantly under the Wookie's reprimands. "Kicking it won't fix it. How're you doing on your end?"
Chewie growls a response that is at least marginally better than Poe's current status with the wiring. "Good. BB-8, how are you coming on the hyperdrive?" The droid whistles even better news, which gives Poe hope, though at the same time it makes him feel worse.
"I really am the only one who can't do a damn thing with this ship," he mutters under his breath. "Hunk of junk." A spark burns his right arm, as if the Falcon heard him. "Sorry, sorry," he says. "Just cooperate a little, and we'll go get Rey, you can have her back."
Chewbacca asks if he's talking to the ship, and Poe tells him that yes, he is. Because he'll do anything to get to Finn and Rey before they drown on that ocean. Chewie tries to reassure him, tells him they are both strong.
"They're both idiots," Poe says, talking around the small hydrospanner in his mouth. Chewie growls in protest. "You know I'm right. That's the third time Rey has gone off without us, buddy. She's gonna get herself killed. And since Finn is always running after her, she's going to get him killed as well."
The Wookie agrees about Rey, which is surprising given how close they are, then asks why Poe is so mad at Finn. Poe stops his tinkering to think about it—or rather, to consider his words carefully, since he's upset for so many reasons, none of which he wants to talk about. Before he can answer, Chewbacca points out that Poe has been bad-tempered with Finn since Pasanna, since the sand pits—why did it bother him, whatever it was that Finn had wanted to say, and did he have to bring it up again when they were about to be executed?
Poe glances at the Wookie in surprise. He rarely asks such personal questions, preferring to remain silent, with an occasional reprimand or sly teasing. That Chewbacca not only noticed the tension between him and Finn, but has said something means that Poe is doing a terrible job at keeping his feelings in check. He needs to do better, but he's still so mad—about the secrets, and the feelings, and the running, and that last, damning truth Finn had shouted at him on the ridge.
I'm not Leia.
That's for damn sure.
"Look, I appreciate the concern, buddy," he tells Chewie, diving back into the panel, hopefully one last time, and trying to put the echo of those words from his mind. It's not only anger that gnaws at him, but also hurt, that Finn thinks so poorly of him, when he already has so many doubts of his own. "But I don't know what's going on with us right now. Too many other things to worry about."
The Wookie calls him on it, and Poe frowns, glances over his shoulder. "Fine, I know exactly what's going on, but there's still too many other things to worry about. Like this ship."
Chewbacca barks at him again, and Poe hangs his head. "Yeah, I know. We'll work it out, I promise. I won't let it get in the way."
Apparently satisfied, Chewie heads back to the cockpit, telling Poe to let him know when he's done so they can try starting the Falcon. Poe nods and goes back to what he was doing, wondering how he can possibly work it out with Finn when there's so much friction between them now, with no time to talk, to do anything but keep reacting as everything they do seems to go wrong.
Thinking about Finn riles him up again. He's as scared as he is angry—Finn is good at just about everything, but what was he thinking, going after Rey? Did he have any experience whatsoever on water like that? And what could have possibly possessed Jannah to take him out there? Apparently, she and the others on the Endor moon are former Stormtroopers like Finn, and they clearly have a connection. But even she had told them to wait until morning to head out on the water. Why had they gone anyway, when Poe had told Finn they would go together, in the Falcon?
Poe can't help thinking about why Rey left them as well; he is so tired of it, of her impulsive decisions and lack of communication with them, when he thought they were friends. Yet even worse than his frustration is his deep fear for her as well, that she is skirting the edge of a dark precipice, that her risks could get them killed—and maybe Finn with her. And Poe is not going to lose Finn, not like this, and preferably not ever. Even after those hurtful words on the ridge, Poe cares too much about the other man to let go.
He solders the last two wires together, clamps a few other pieces, flips a switch, and shuts the panel. "Try it now!" he shouts to Chewie. The ship hums beneath him, and he dashes toward the cockpit, determined to get to his friends. He pushes past the hurt and anger; fear drives him even more.
Finn is scared.
He staggers up the ramp of the Falcon, soaked through to his skin, freezing and shivering and terrified—for Rey, and Poe, and the entire galaxy now that everything has gone wrong. And he's afraid of Poe's reaction to the things Finn has said and done since Pasanna, especially running off to the Death Star across an ocean he had no idea how to cross.
He's lucky to be alive. He knows that. He doesn't know how to process it though. He's feeling too much—his own emotions and all those around him—and things are moving so fast he can't sit down to think about any of it. He certainly can't plan ahead, he can only keep reacting to whatever happens next. And so far, it's been one disaster after another, several of which are his own doing. Anger and shame follow fear, that he can't seem to do anything right.
"We good?" He hears Poe shout from the cockpit, and Chewie growls back, slamming the ramp shut and asking if he's all right. Finn nods, glances at Jannah, who looks even worse than he feels. "We need to get Jannah back to her people," he tells Chewie, who grunts a response and hurries back to the cockpit. Finn turns to Jannah.
"I'm sorry," he starts. "I shouldn't have made you go out there."
"You didn't make me do anything," she says. "I wanted to help you and your friend."
"Yeah, well, we didn't, and now things are even worse."
"Worse?" asks Poe, storming into the corridor. "How can they possibly get—where's Rey?" He stops and stares at Finn, wide-eyed with the same fear Finn has been carrying since they left Ajan Kloss. "Finn, where's Rey?"
"She left." Finn's voice is harsh, even though it's not Poe's fault. If anything, it's Finn's, because he can feel something is wrong with Rey, but he can't help her, no matter how hard he tries. "Ren was there. They fought, and she left with his ship. I don't know where she's going."
Poe's jaw drops. He turns, holding his injured arm close, running his other hand through his hair. Finn can feel his shock and anger. When he turns back, Finn can't even hold his eyes, the look on Poe's face is so heartbreaking.
"You're right, it's worse," he says, and his voice sounds dead. Finn would almost prefer the anger he can feel bubbling beneath the surface, ready to burst forth. Until it does. "What the hell were you doing, going out there? You could have gotten yourself killed! And then what, Finn? Rey gone, you dead—what were you thinking?"
"I was thinking Rey needed my help!" Finn snaps. "She's my friend, and she was in trouble."
"Rey doesn't want our help, pal," Poe says, his voice so bitter it hurts, like a knife to the heart because Finn thinks Poe might be right, and he doesn't want to be angry at Rey, but a part of him is. "And we can't help her any more. We need to get back to base." He glances at Jannah, his face weary. "We'll drop you off with your friends first."
"We want to help," Jannah says, glancing between them, as if she can tell there is more to their confrontation than she sees.
Poe shakes his head. "We need people who can follow orders, and work together, not run off alone, against their own advice."
It feels like a slap in the face, but before Finn can say anything, Jannah steps up, her voice heated. "My people work together," she says. "We have been for years, ever since we defected. If you're going up against the First Order, we want to fight. They'll follow my orders."
"And you?" Poe asks. "Are you willing to follow orders? Because we can't have people doing whatever they want, taking risks like the one you did today."
"Leave her out of it," Finn snaps at him, annoyed when Poe has taken plenty of his own risks. Only Poe's usually turn out better, and don't put anyone else in danger. "I asked her to take me out there, I'm the one who messed up."
Poe points a finger in his face. "Damn right you did, you—" He is stopped by the ship settling, a shout from the cockpit that they've arrived at Jannah's camp. She glances once more between them, not sure what to do.
"We could really use them," Finn says.
"Then they answer to you," Poe says, turning away from Finn and back to Jannah. "How many of you are there?"
"Enough to make a difference," she says. "And depending on what you need, we can bring the orbaks, too."
"Not in here!"
"We have our own ship."
Poe looks down, cradling his injured arm once more. "Think we might need 'em?" he asks Finn without turning, and Finn hates that Poe won't look at him. "The orbaks?"
"Not sure what they can do against a fleet of Star Destroyers," Finn answers, but something tingles in the back of his mind, another feeling, like all the others he's had. "But if we need ground troops, then yes, we could probably use them. Bring 'em," he tells her, and she nods before turning back to Poe.
"Where should we meet you?" she asks, and Poe frowns.
"Contact the Falcon when you're in the air," he says. "We'll send you the coordinates then."
"You can trust them," Finn tells him.
"No, you can trust them," Poe says. "I don't know what to think of any of this anymore. But we still send the coordinates when we're in the air." He turns and walks away without another word. The ramp opens, and Jannah starts to leave. She stops to touch his arm as she passes.
"I'm sorry about your friend Rey," she says. "And I'm sorry about you and Poe."
Finn shakes his head. "Not your fault, none of it. They're both…well, they're both being who they are. Rey is stubborn, but something is going on with her, I can feel it. And Poe…" He sighs. "He's pretty pissed off, isn't he?"
"He does seem like it," she agrees. "But he's injured, he crashed his ship, his friend left, and then you ran after her." She cocks her head. "You seem like a good team, though. Close."
"I don't know," Finn says, lowering his voice. "I thought we were…but I might have said something terrible to him, before I left, something I can never take back." He cringes as he remembers his words on the ridge, and the look on Poe's face as Finn walked away, too worried about one friend to stop from hurting another.
"Then you apologize," she tells him. "You have to talk to him, Finn. If we're going to face the First Order, you need to work it out. Something tells me that you're better together than apart."
He nods, his throat tight. She's absolutely right, though he's amazed she can see it so clearly when she just met them. "I know, and I will. Thank you for helping. As soon as you contact us, we'll send the coordinates."
"And you're sure about the orbaks?"
"I'm sure," he says. "We'll see you back at the base."
She gives him a long look. "May the Force be with you, Finn," she murmurs with a smile, and hurries back to her people. Finn watches her go, raises the ramp, and shouts up to the cockpit when it's closed and he's sure she's cleared the area. He feels the Falcon shoot away, but stands there, debating whether or not to go to the cockpit. He's pretty sure Poe wasn't finished with whatever he had to say earlier, and he's certain it will turn into something ugly if he does.
So Finn goes to the crew quarters to dry off. He thinks about everything that's happened in the last day, and tries not to kick in the door, the frustration and fear threatening to overwhelm him. And he is angry with himself, for so many things, but he is determined to make it better.
Author's Note:
This scene came from a post on Tumblr by captain-flint, who so graciously let me run with it and helped shape this! Thank you! And many thanks to mssrj-335/mssr-cellophane and starsarefire824 as well, who also helped so much with the stupid plot holes. (I have no idea how Jannah and her people left Kef Bir with the orbaks, so I gave them a ship to get to Ajan Kloss because I just can't picture all those horses in the Falcon!) I seriously love the Tumblr crew I've got to know since jumping into this fandom. Come hang with us, we have so many beautiful pics of Poe and Finn it'll be worth it! Thanks for reading - part two will be up in a few days!