Hi! This fic is part of the Lovemail Event run over on Twitter celebrating all the Bungo Stray Dogs characters – You can view a collection of the works on Archive of Our Own (search: Bungou Stray Dogs Lovemail Event 2020 :)
There is also amazing art created by Gatsby to go with this fic which you can view here :)
I don't really understand Fyodor's grand plan so for the sake of this fic it was to remove everyone's unhappiness like he did with Ivan
Ahem, Testing, testing
Interview Number 14
Interviewer: Lemony Snicket
Ability: VFD (Versed Furtive Disclosure)
Affiliation: A Series of Unfortunate Events
Interviewee: Ivan Goncharov
Ability: The Precipice
Affiliation: Rats in the House of the Dead, House of Decay (secondary)
Today is my first meeting with Mr Goncharov. His time in Japan has been recorded through the use of the ability Discourse on Decadence, by my colleague Ango Sakaguchi, of the Japanese Ministry, Gifted Special Operations Division. Formerly of the Port Mafia and Mimic, Record Number 52.
Mr Goncharov's childhood was lost when Mr Dostoevsky experimented on him ultimately ending his ability to feel or remember sadness. Of those I have used my ability to track down, he has been one of the hardest to find, but as the only known survivor of a group once affiliated with the Demon Fyodor Dostoevsky, I just had to find and talk to him.
The following is the recording of our conversation. Per my other interviews I have tried not to interfere with the narrative Mr Goncharov has decided to share with us, unless he is straying too far off. It appears he has brought a companion with him, I will discuss this at the end of the recording.
You want to hear about my life?
Well I was born a young boy in…
Oh, where was it?
Later you say?
Hmm all my memories were unhappy but master fixed that
master made them all go away.
Have you ever felt true joy?
No bad thoughts to taint it, just
sheer joy?
I'm not babbling.
I could talk about master all day,
the joyous time I had with the others
in the Rats in the House of The Dead.
No?
Agent Sakaguchi has already covered that era?
Well of course I disappeared. It is what the
Armed Detective Agency and
Port Mafia asked of me.
I was just a joyous puppet,
a pawn in masters plan.
It's a shame really, his was so…
Beautiful
A world of people like me,
full of joy, no despair.
No unhappy thoughts.
But
Alas, it didn't work like that.
I was banned from Japan.
So, I travelled, seeking the place I felt comfortable.
I wanted to return home.
But I can't remember where that is.
I tried making my own place, but my ability…
My ability…
It failed me
Abandoned me
It was the only time my joy felt
ugly
hollow
tainted.
I don't know where I wandered those two years.
The memories weren't joyful
So
They've slipped
Away.
My memories clear up when I
moved to the village.
It is a quaint little village,
a lovely mix
Of seaside and countryside
Can I describe my home?
Perfect.
It is perfect
A small little cottage.
A garden full of flowers and
pretty fruit trees.
Just on the edge of town.
Am I going off topic again?
How I felt?
Hmm…
Free.
I have never had so much freedom
Master was gone; the Decay of Angels disbanded.
The Detective Agency and the Port Mafia pardoned me for my actions, on the condition I never return to Japan.
They knew with my unhappiness removed I was only blindly following my master.
What does one do with so much free time?
Everything brings me such joy, but no
satisfaction.
I hopped from place to place
always alone,
but nowhere was right.
Money?
Oh, I have plenty of that
An off shore bank account
or three.
I can live a good life and
never need to work.
A lover?
Ha-ha-ha-ha
I've never had
any interest. Never
understood what
all the fuss is about.
I've had a few admirers –
master, the clown, always
stroking and
playing with my hair.
Like I was some sort of pet.
They never pushed me
further than that though.
When I settled in the village.
I engaged with the locals,
attending an art class, dance,
a cooking class.
Dance was fun
for a while,
but my partner
didn't like
my constant
joy.
Loneliness.
Is that what it was?
My neighbours shunned me, whispers following me
Eccentric
What's so funny?
Freak
Unhappy people bore me.
I wish master had shown me how
to remove others unhappiness.
I could make their lives so much better
If they just let me try,
but alas,
my efforts only succeeded in getting me
banned from all village activities.
I'd shed a tear of sorrow
If I could remember how.
I took to walking,
Alone in my joy.
I found a secluded
path, weaving through
woodland and
wildflowers meadows.
Picking flowers to adorn my hair,
the bandages lost along with master
Here in seclusion I started using
my ability again. I have not summoned it
in so long. The sensation feels
foreign.
My first stone companion crumbled
the second my attention was taken
by a nearby bird.
Beneath my joy
Is this frustration?
Something that was once second nature
now lost.
It took me weeks,
rain and shine
and more rain.
Creation
after
Creation.
cr
um
bl
ed
Day after day
I return home
bruised and bloody.
Too sure in my ability
to move when they fall.
It would hurt if I could still
feel pain.
I want to feel true joy again,
The sort my master promised me
when he removed my
unhappiness.
I started staying home,
wandering through books
Instead of nature.
If my ability is going to turn
its back on me, why
bother?
I still feel joy
but it has become twisted.
A sunny day
coaxed me back outside.
The fresh air did me good.
The wildflower meadow is
in bloom again. I picked a few
to place in my hair. I had felt
bare without them the
past few weeks.
As I walked, eyes closed
Soaking in the freshness
of my surroundings. The sun
on my face.
I felt a peace
I have not felt since…
A grumbling sound
I opened my eyes.
A stone, human like
Figure greeted me.
Joy
True joy!
Oh, how I have missed this.
My companion and I
wandered, I talked
and talked.
How wonderful it is to
have someone again.
My joy was short lived.
As tiredness set in
my ability spluttered
and my companion
crumbled back into earth.
True joy.
Replaced
by hollowness.
Is this an emotion?
Maybe sleep will help.
It didn't.
I returned to the meadow.
I felt at peace there.
I picked flower after
flower. Making a bracelet
a necklace and a crown.
The repetition soothed me,
I feel asleep, my favourite
lilac shawl wrapped
around me.
I woke up to my arm
around a small dog.
All gangly legs and short fur.
It's tail wiggling as
it cwtched in to me.
The creature was so
Joyful.
I don't like it.
I ignored its pleas for attention
and went home.
It had the audacity to follow me.
Right into my kitchen!
I guess it did look hungry, and
master had taken me in when I was
lost and hungry.
Plain rice and chicken
would have to do for tonight.
I can go and get it food tomorrow
No
I can go and find its owner tomorrow.
Hmm looks like it needs a bath too.
Can't have the poor thing being uncomfortable.
The dog woke me up at the crack of dawn.
Licking my face and wiggling its tail.
The dogs joy was infectious.
Maybe he could stay…
We went into town,
The dog was following by the
side of me.
Perfectly in sync.
I found the local
Veterinary practice.
They had seen the dog
wandering, but
he ran and growled
whenever anyone
tried to approach him.
It didn't appear
he belonged to
anyone.
He must be
meant for me
they said.
He seems quite
taken with you.
As the dog,
wrapped itself around
my legs, almost catlike.
They suggested I keep him,
No.
I do not need an animal.
So, I left him, with the vets.
But
He followed after me,
waiting in the doorway
big, puppy dog eyes,
tail wagging.
The feeling was strange,
I think it was something
akin to
Heartbreak.
In all my life, I had
never felt this way
for another creature.
I went to him,
pulling him for a big
Cwtch.
I'd never seen such a
Joyous sight.
The first thing that
was truly
Mine.
The vets helped me
Pick a collar for him.
A pale lilac leather collar,
and matching lead,
that complimented
my favourite shawl
perfectly.
The vets talked me
through everything
my new little puppy
would need.
He just needed
a name.
Pepper?
Juno?
He whined, apparently
they were
not the name
he wanted.
Zakhar? He
Barked and
Wiggled his tail.
Joyous.
It was fitting,
my favourite
character,
from my
favourite book.
We made our way
to the pet
store the vets
had suggested.
I picked only the
best for Zakhar,
the finest food,
treats and toys.
Zakhar's favourite thing?
His cosy cave, perfect
for him to snuggle
and cwtch in
Soon, I was no longer
so lonely.
Of course, I was
still seen as
the village
eccentric but
Zakhar
Oh, do they
love him.
He preens and
prances when
we take a
walk through
the village to
stock up.
Everyone stops
to greet him, and
occasionally
they'll talk to
me to.
Zakhar has
made so many
doggy friends.
At the suggestion
of the vet
I took him to a
training class.
He was such a
perfect student
I think the classes
were more for me
than him.
As I haven't had
much experience
with animals.
The trainer suggested
that Zakhar and I
compete in agility.
But I'd had enough
of running, I
did that enough,
in Yokohama
with the
Rats in
the House of
the Dead.
Do I miss them?
Hmmm,
Master was such
a big part
of my life.
He helped me
become
Joyous
find new ways
of using my ability.
To forget the
unhappiness
I had experienced.
But
I love my
simple and peaceful
life.
No fighting,
No scheming.
No being used as
bait.
Master's plan was
a good plan,
but he couldn't
see that
the world
wasn't ready
for such
Joy.
It's a shame,
I love my joyful
life, wouldn't
you…
Mr Snicket
Want to experience
complete
joy? To
never be unhappy
again?
It's such a beautiful
existence.
What? You'd rather
feel unhappiness?
I guess for your
job and that
interesting ability
of yours, having your
unhappiness removed
would be troublesome.
In that
unhappy, blurry
time, I thought
that maybe life
was somehow
incomplete without
master. But I
just needed to
find Zakhar.
If possible, I
feel even more
content in my joy
now.
Zakhar and I are
suited to each
other in that respect.
That day, we saved
each other. No one
else will ever
understand, the bond
we have.
Both of us
joined in our
exquisite joy.
My favourite day in my new life?
Hmm I think it's when
Zakhar and I made our way to the meadow,
my little puppy had grown into a
perfect companion.
Easy to train and always
so happy.
My ability
works like
it is part of me again.
Zakhar was scared
at first, but now
he eagerly waits
for me to make
a stone creature
or three.
They throw balls,
and frisbees for
my energetic
little grown up
puppy.
It's fun to
see him chase a frisbee
around the meadow.
Whilst I picked flowers
making a collar for him and swapped
out the flowers in my hair.
We shared a picnic, he
begged ever so nicely.
With nowhere to be,
we led in the meadow,
I watched the clouds as
Zakhar cwtched into my side.
Free
I have never had so much freedom
but now I have a companion.
Together, we are
content in our joy.
Interview concluded: 19:03
Interviewer Comments: Zakhar was a very well-behaved, good boy, cwtching into and falling asleep next to his master. Unlike my other interviewees, Mr Goncharov appears to have led a peaceful life following the conflicts. He has told me everything that has happened since his involvement with the Rats in the House of the Dead, therefore I will not be asking him to return. As per protocol the recording of today's interview, once digitised, will be archived at the last safe place in the Valley of Four Drafts.