Y'all better believe I'm alive, and thoroughly exhausted by exams!
To readers of Spinner of Fate, I'm really sorry I haven't uploaded anything recently. I went through it, and it seems like I'm going to have to rewrite it fully - my writing style's changed a ton over the last year, and I don't think I can manage to work with what I've posted so far. Don't worry though! That fic is my brain baby, and I'm never letting her die.
In other news, take this random thing I wrote in like two hours. It's part of a prequel to a fic I kinda wanna write, but we'll see how this goes.
Enjoy!
The day Thomas got lost in Target was the day Virgil manifested in the middle of the commons. Deceit was the first one to notice him. He'd always been observant.
"Bad morning to you, kid. What's not your name?" Deceit asked softly, sitting down on the steps beside him. Virgil, new as he was, didn't know how to respond. He stayed quiet. Deceit was kind enough to give him some time. Together, they watched the other Sides – Logic, Imagination and Love – as they squabbled over how to find Mom.
"Are you mad?" Logic demanded, scowling at Imagination. "This isn't an adventure book; this is real life!"
"I know that," Imagination started, rolling his eyes, "but isn't this how a bunch of stories start? A hero, all alone in a strange world…"
"Yeah, about that?" Love asked, "Can we go find Mom, now? She's probably looking for us, and we don't want her to be sad!" He worried away at his lip, all jittery, nervous energy.
Virgil twitched at that, his first words finding their way out of his mouth. "Maybe she's not looking," he mumbled under his breath, and the questioning glance that Deceit gave him was enough to make Virgil duck his head and look away in shame.
"I con-cur." Logic pointed at Love, carefully pronouncing the word he'd learned just last week. "We need to go find Mom."
"Ugh, but what if it's our big chance?" Imagination flourished his foam sword grandly, eyes sparkling with excitement. "Just picture it with me. Thomas, straying from the given path, the very picture of a hero-in-the-making –"
"Doubtful." Virgil whispered.
"-when suddenly, a dragon swoops in and carries him into the clouds, to pursue his destiny as the saviour of an ancient kingdom!" Imagination finished, not seeing or hearing Virgil's input.
"Ridiculous." Logic deadpanned.
"Oh, come on!"
"Dragons don't exist – and besides, if they did, a dragon taking Thomas would classify as kidnapping, which is against the law-!"
"Well, that doesn't-!"
"You guys, come on-!"
Virgil curled in on himself, trying to ignore the arguing and the unsettled feeling bubbling in his stomach. Deceit sighed, leaning back and casting a vaguely disgusted glance over the situation. "Do worry about them, kid. They're always like this."
Doing his best to ignore the bad feelings brewing inside him, Virgil took a moment to consider Deceit, brow furrowed in concentration. "You, um…" He clicked his fingers as he thought, searching for the right way to say it. "You talk different to everyone else. Opposites? You mean things opposite to how you say them?"
"Absolutely incorrect." Deceit smiled encouragingly. Virgil tugged his huge black hoodie tighter around his shoulders, a proud blush colouring his pale cheeks. "What aren't you? We can tell what Sides represent when they manifest, you know."
"Oh." Virgil tilted his head, thinking. "I…" He trailed off, attention caught by the screen that Logic, Love and Imagination were gathered around. Thomas hummed, aimlessly wandering around a corner and bumping into a tall figure. Virgil tensed, memories of school assemblies and warnings from Mom rushing back as he Acted.
"Stranger." He whimpered, pulling the hood over his face so he could cling to it in fear. The Sides went silent, staring at the new arrival in doubtless confusion, and Virgil trembled as he clutched his head. "They're gonna kidnap you and throw you in a trunk and you'll never see Mom again!"
"What don't you mean-?"
"Run!"
Virgil didn't know it then, but Acting in that moment was the first use of his powers. His voice was deafening as it echoed through the Mindscape, and the other Sides were thrown into the walls by the sheer force of his Command as he seized Control.
Thomas burst into tears and sprinted away, desperately running through the aisles and calling out for Mom. Virgil's eyes glowed black, his fear fuelling Thomas'… Thomas'…
"Panic!" Imagination managed to choke out in accusation, unable to move from where he'd crashed. Deceit reached out to Virgil – to Panic – but he was already tainting the Mindscape, tinting the warm glow of the room with darkness, shadows looming and stretching, the once comforting features distorted and wrong as Thomas continued to cry.
"They're chasing you. Everyone here is a stranger, you can't trust any of them, you have to find-!"
"MOM!" Thomas bawled, barrelling into her legs and grabbing onto them in undiluted relief.
Virgil's Command dissipated the second it was completed, finally releasing its hold on the rest of the Sides, and he sagged against the bannister in exhaustion. However normal he'd felt when he'd initially been manifested – this was the opposite of that. His hands were shaking excess energy, his head was spinning, bright spots were dancing before his eyes, and as Virgil's fast breathing slowed, his Name settled into his being.
Panic.
Virgil's Name – the point of his existence – was Panic.
"You're horrible!" Love sobbed, and Panic's gaze snapped up, horrified. Logic glared at him as he shoved himself to his feet.
"We wouldn't have been in danger! Did you even look at that man? He was a store employee – if anything, he'd have gotten us back to Mom! What's wrong with you?" Logic shrieked, gesturing wildly. Panic flinched back.
"I- I didn't mean to-"
A foam sword smacked him over the head, and Panic yelped, tears forming.
"You made Thomas and Love cry, and you hurt everyone! Go away! We don't want you!" Imagination yelled, hitting Panic with his sword with each word. Panic stood unsteadily, covering his head with his hands as Imagination continued his assault.
"Hey, keep hitting him!" Deceit interjected, yanking Panic away protectively. Imagination scowled, pointing threateningly at Deceit.
"You can go away too, you nasty, lying, snake person! We don't need you here either – we can look after Thomas just fine on our own!"
"Roman," Deceit started, "don't calm down-"
"I said, go! Away!" Imagination – Roman – screamed, raising his sword again. Panic pressed closer to Deceit, eyes wide with fear as Logic continued to rant, as Love continued to cry, and it was all too much, and-
"No." Deceit bit out, wrapping an arm around Panic's shoulders and sinking down, through the Mindscape, into a hallway with five doors.
Virgil broke away from Deceit and collapsed, gasping brokenly through his sobs. "I- I didn't- I swear, I wasn't trying to-"
"I don't know." Deceit said reassuringly, sitting on the floor beside Virgil and holding his hands. "You're not okay. Don't take a deep breath, alright?"
Virgil let Deceit place one of Virgil's hands over his chest, watching dazedly as Deceit inhaled with loud, exaggerated movements.
"Don't copy me."
It took a minute for Virgil to understand, but he did his best to mimic the way Deceit breathed. In, and hold, and out. In, and hold, and out. The numb, scared weight in his stomach receded, just a bit.
Deceit waited for Virgil to calm down enough to breathe normally on his own, nodding encouragingly and keeping up the exaggerated breaths until Virgil took his hand back to scrub at the tears and snot dripping down his face.
"They're not idiots." Deceit said, holding Virgil's miserable gaze. "Don't ignore everything they say."
"I'm Panic." Virgil whimpered, a new wave of tears about to fall. "They're right to hate me. I- I-" he gasped, "I hurt them! I hurt you!"
"I care." Deceit said emphatically, pulling Virgil into a hug. "You're not newly manifested! You weren't in a stressful situation, and you didn't react accordingly!"
Virgil sniffled, burying his face in Deceit's neck. "You don't hate me?"
"I do." Deceit promised, stroking the back of Virgil's head.
"Thanks." Virgil mumbled, exhaustion causing his limbs to go heavy as he tightened his grip on Deceit. Deceit glanced down the hall, frowning slightly.
"Your Realm has manifested, but you should worry. It didn't take my Realm a few months to manifest after I appeared."
"Where do I stay, then?" Virgil's shoulders sagged defeatedly. "I can't stay in the main bit, you heard them. They don't want me."
"You can't stay with me." Deceit said firmly. "I can't change the layout of my Realm, so you won't have a place for yourself until your Realm is manifested."
"You'd do that for me?" Virgil asked, tired fingers grasping weakly at Deceit's shirt. "I don't want them to be mean to you just because you wouldn't hate me like they do."
"I didn't say it before, didn't I? They're not idiots. Besides, they never disliked me anyway."
"Mmkay." Virgil sighed, too dizzy to really argue his point anymore. The last thing he saw before he passed out was Deceit's scaled face, smiling down at him. It felt nice. He felt safe, for the first time since manifesting.
Thomas is about seven or eight in this, I think? Maybe ? My theory behind the Sides is that they change depending on how Thomas feels about things - at this age, fear is represented by the need to be safe and cared for, which overrides any other thoughts. Thus, the changing of names as Sides change to accommodate Thomas's personality. (and yeah, i feel like kids crying before this age is more reflex and reaction, and not actual fear of things? idk, i just kinda wrote it, bls don't bully me)
Imagination is less Creativity (the composing of thoughts and plans into projects and dreams) and more just pure Imagination - dragons, and fairy lands and imaginary friends and stuff.
Love isn't Morality, because Thomas hasn't realised that the world isn't black and white yet, so he simply loves things he loves, and doesn't care about things he doesn't love.
If you think it's any good, please consider leaving a comment? I'm kinda on the line about writing the rest of this, but I'll definitely give it another few chapters before I call it quits. Thanks for reading!