Disclaimer: I do not own Silicon Valley or any of its characters. I do however own the OC in this story; Lia Nyx.

"Absolutely not." He stated with a monotonous urgency.

"We havn't even told you why you are here yet." Monica knitted her eyebrows.

"Irrelevant"

Gilfoyle found himself yet again in the office of the HR Manager, Tracy. She had been, for months now, trying to get Gilfoyle to intergrate himself into the 'community' of Pied Piper.

He remained in the doorway. Once before he had sat down in this office, but he knew better now to always leave himself the option of a quick escape.

Tracy placed her hands on the table, one over the other. Her nails like the claws of a demon. "We think it would be beneficial if we assigned you with an intern."

"Interns are a waste of company resources. Statistically only 37% of interns stay with the company that they intern at. I don't want to facilitate that waste of company resources." Gilfoyle had concidered this possible ploy and many others, he had researched multiple excuses and reasons to sidestep any of these HR nightmares.

"Look Gilfoyle, we already have this intern. They have signed their employment agreement and are on the payroll." Monica layed it straight. He always hated her ability to ignore his logical reasoning.

Tracy laced her draconic talons together. "I think this intern will pleasantly surprise you. The two of you share certain... Similarities" She paused for what he assumed was suppose to be some sort of emphasis.

He would understand what 'Tracy from HR' meant by that soon enough.

Gilfoyle was now on his way back to his secluded desk in the corner of the office, currently walking past the kitchenette that Jared and Jared 2.0 frequented, he looked over toward his dominion. His brow crinkled and a tiny pout of the lips invaded his face. Something was odd. It looked as if his space was diffrent somehow. Someone had touched his stuff.

He passed the board room and rounded the corner of his workbench. Luckily nothing had been disturbed, but a new black desk with double monitors had been squished into his area and sat in a swivel chair with their feet crossed and on said desk was a woman dressed entirely in black.

"Bertam Gilfoyle... I asume" Her legs kicked off the desk as the chair rotated.

"Just... Gilfoyle. Only my mother calls me by my first name." His monotonus voice had the slitest edge of venom to it. "And who might you be?" He continued as he made his way to his own chair, sat down and turned toward his own monitor.

"Your new intern. Obviously" He wasn't facing her but he could feel her gaze linger on the back of his head after she spoke. There was a moment of pause before she realised he wasn't going to humour her and continued. "What jobs do you need me to do?"

He continued to work on his precious 'Son of Anton' code before what she said processed through his head.

"I dont 'need' you to do anything. Just sit there and pretend you're doing something useful then HR can finaly get of my back"

"Sounds good to me" she said before he heard a tiny squeak from the swivel chair as she turned back around to her own computer.

A few hours had passed by. Gilfoyle was half way through coding his reincarnation of Anton in AI format. This was turning out to be a day with little inturuptions. Completely diffrent from a usual day at Pied Piper. Not even Dinesh had annoyed him today, which was very unusual. Not even a word from his new intern. He had heard her typing away, luckily with a non obtrusive keyboard. He absolutely hated that loud mechanical keyboard that one of those pizza app fucktards three desks down used. Used... as in past tense, that was before he silenced it forever a few weeks ago. The bastard still didn't know where his keyboard ended up.

This was odd, the last times he had underlings they annoyed the shit out of him. But she just sat there off to his side, coding. What was she coding anyway he thought as he turned around toward her.

She continued to type, unawares of his attention, into the black screen with white and coloured text appearing as her fingers worked the keyboard.

Gilfoyle hadn't really cared to take note of her before. But now as he observed her beautiful coding, and not one mistake as he skimmed it over her shoulder, he started to compile a visual database of her. Black clothes... possibly a goth or emo but not overdone. Bleached hair, almost white... surprisingly works on a 20-something year old girl. Black RayBan glasses... overhyped company but at least their plastic quality was decent. Tattoos on her arms... now thats a surprise, they look like graffiti but he noted some videogame and popculture refrences amongst the endless artwork trailing up beyond the edge of her sleeves. In what universe would someone 'unprofessional' like this be hired in Silicon Valley? Obviously he didn't agree with the social oppinion of professional and in actuallity thought if someone got their work done, that was professional enough for him. He thought she pulled off this grungy look well.

He again looked over her shoulder at the code. He wondered what she was working on. He skimmed again over the code... she was working on a DNS bypassing system. Not just any bypassing system, this was specifically for the Pied Piper Algorithm.

"What are you doing?" He spoke in his classic monotonous voice.

She turned around to face him. Dark teal eyes locked with his own sharp brown ones.

"I saw you were working on some AI, so I thought I would help you get through the next item on your workboard"

Gilfoyle took a sharp breath. "I thought I told you to 'pretend' to do something useful"

"Gilfoyle... I'm your intern. I'm here to lighten the load. Plus, I would never intergrate the code without your review. If you don't like the code you can change it but at least you won't have to write this module from scratch." Her eyes were sincere and she did have a point. He was actually procrastinating with 'The Son of Anton' AI to avoid starting this exact module. But he could never accept help... especially from a coder he had never worked with before... what if her coding was as bad as Dinesh?

"And what if I dont want to review your code?"

"I could always take it to Dinesh."

His eyes widened. "That wont be necessary. Not only is Dinesh an incompetent coder, but I would be admitting defeat if you were to go to..." he glanced over at the smiling idiot across the walkway. "him... for review. " he sighed. "Send it over when you're done. I'll have a look at it."

He conceded in the end and turned back to his own screens. From what he saw of her coding over her shoulder, it was adequate. Perhaps he would actually benefit from an intern... at least this one wasn't insufferable. Then he remembered something he had wanted to ask earlier.

"So..." he asked as he continued to work on Anton's son.

"Yeah?" She repied as her fingers continued to tap on the keys in front of her.

"What was your name anyway?" Its not like he cared what it was... he just didnt want to keep thinking of her as 'my intern'.

"Its Lia... Lia Nyx."

"Well Lia, It's nice to meet you." He then blocked out the rest of the loud idiots around them and got back into bringing the Son of Anton to life.

"Sooooo, I saw your cute new intern." Dinesh placed his chin in his hand. "Is she single?"

"Hands off Dinesh. So far she is tolerable... but that would quickly change if I have to witness your pathetic attempts at getting into the pants of the opposite gender."

"That's not fair, Gilfoyle. She is so cute!" Dinesh picked at his lunch and stuffed a chip into his mouth. Then complained around the potato in his mouth. "Quit being a pussy hoarder."

"I don't intend to be a 'pussy hoarder', she is the first person who isnt an insufferable tool to work with me. This might be my only chance to get HR off my ass for good." Gilfoyle also threw a chip into his mouth and spoke around it. "Don't ruin this for me."

His phone vibrated. That was unusual. It was an email. He didn't often get work emails... and the only person who does send him emails was sitting across from him looking out the window at a group of girls walking across the street. Pervert.

He pinned in the passcode to his phone and opened the work email. It was from Lia. A very straight to the point email;

Hi Gilfoyle,

Attached code.

Lia

He typed a single word 'Thanks' and just before he hit the send button his eyebrows creased. He typed some more;

Thanks.

Go to lunch.

Then he hit send.

"Hi guys, sorry im late" It was Richard who spoke. Jared and Jared 2.0 on his tail. "I was just closing a deal"

"Did it go well?" Asked Dinesh as he shuffled down the booth seat to make way for the entourage.

"If you call going well, vomiting on my own shoes afterward, then yes. We landed the deal."

"Good job Richard. Now we can move onto covering them with chunks of data instead of your bile" Gilfoyle was always quick with a joke at Richard's expense.

The Pied Piper and his Rats finaly settled before their attention was turned to Gilfoyle.

"To my knowledge... Your intern started today... Didn't she?" Jared's bright blue orbs stared intently at Gilfoyle. He always hated the uncomfortable undivided attention that guy gave. "How is that going?"

"Fine. She is tolerable and dosn't require baby sitting. Just finished a draft of my DNS code."

"Oh good." Jared moved his face closer as Gilfoyle backed away. "I was in the intern screening with Tracy. She actually wasn't interested in hiring Lia until I suggested that Lia would be a perfect intern for you."

So, Jared was the reason for this suffering. Gilfoyle made a mental note to fuck with Jared at some point as revenge.

"You have an intern now? Shows how much I know whats happening at this company anymore!" Richard spoke fast as he scoffed down the food he had ordered. Obviously stress eating or just too busy now for any enjoyment.

Just as Gilford had hypothesized, Richard and his followers left as quickly as they came, leaving Dinesh and Gilford alone once again.

"So Gilford, we've established that she is off limits for me, but are you going to try to tap that ass?" Dinesh wiggled his eyebrows.

"No."

"Why not?"

"Because, that is an abuse of power and could be concidered sexual harrassment in the state of California."

"Oh fine! But, you have to admit. She is pretty cute." Dinesh winked to further his point.

Gilfoyle stared blankly at his associate... friend... fine, his best friend, and let out an annoyed stream of air from his nose.

Although he didnt want to go there for lack of a better word... common decency. He had to admit, she did have a dark aesthetic that he would classify as his 'type'.

After they had returned from lunch, Gilfoyle entered his domain to look at the code Lia had wrote. She was still off on her own lunch break, but aside his keyboard was an iced long black coffee with a sticky note stuck to it that read;

Enjoy
- Lia

Gilfoyle inspected the drink for any tampering and after satisfied, he took a sip. It was adequate... actually... he didnt want to admit but the coffee was made really well and was nice to come back from lunch to. He did notice the coaster on his desk had been roatated to be upside down... well in this case right side up... he guessed it depended on someones opinion of the symbol. He shrugged.

He opened the file and started to evaluate it. As he skimmed further down the lines of code his eyes widened. He stared at it. Re-read it. It was... perfect. Not one mistake.

"What are you doing Gilfoyle?" Dinesh was resting over Gilfoyle's monitors. He must have been there for quite a while. As Dinesh made his way around the desks into the lair he spoke some more. "You've been staring at your screen for quite a while now... I thought something was up"

"Its nothing. Ive just been looking over Lia's code... Its... perfect".

"Oh... my... god!" Dinesh started to smile wide. "Its finally happened. You're the one with the code boner this time!"

"I dont have a code boner." He answered, still monotonous but with a hint of emotion.

"Yes you do!"

"At least my girl actually wrote the code."

Dinesh's smile grew wider. "You just called her your girl. It's official now."

"Shut up Dinesh. If you say anything to anyone about this I will invert your scrotum." He gave Dinesh a death glare.

Dinesh stopped speaking but continued to mime laugh and signed love hearts in the air as he walked backward toward his own desk.

Lia returned from her lunch break to see Dinesh smiling creepily at her from his own desk. She gave him a mock-concerned look. He returned an intricate series of hand gestures and was mouthing words. She hardly understood what he was trying to convey but could swear he mouthed 'Get. Fucked. Elephant. Poo.' She was very confused.

Once she rounded the work bench she noticed Gilfoyle had also returned and was half way through the iced coffee she had left for him.

She looked up at the whiteboard for the next part of code she could help with. Some work on interfacing was up next. Nice and simple work for the afternoon of her first day. There was also a change on the board since she looked at it that morning. The sticky note with DNS Bypassing had been moved from 'review', directly to 'implemented'.

She took a seat in Gilfoyle's little area away from everyone else. She kinda liked having this area away from the other coders. Of the other employees she had met so far, they were all annoying to say the least. She knew this was why Gilfoyle had no employees under him and she respected that. She was told well before starting that her new boss would be difficult to work with and would probably try to get rid of her, but thus far he was actually easier to work for than any other boss. For one, he actually left her alone to do her work. She absolutly hated bosses who were like mosquitos, always wanting updates every five minutes or hanging over her shoulder to add in their two cents. In the first day, this was the best internship she had ever had. She didn't want to ruin this, so she would stay out of his way and help where she could.

Her train of thought was inturupted by a voice.

"You did a good job on that code" Gilfoyle had turned in his chair to face her.

"Thanks Boss!" She replied with a smile.

Gilfoyle's eyes darkened. "Don't ever call me that."

"I'll keep that in mind" She said as she turned back to her own screen. "But you might want to get used to it. Because, I'm here to stay."