Esmeralda's Diary
January 8, 1858
My name is Esmeralda Agnès Lavoie. And, yesterday was my 10th birthday.
Yesterday was the 2nd year of celebrating it without Mama. My dear Mama, Paquette D'Aboville-Lavoie, died of a dangerous illness when I was 8. I know her and remember her as a loving wife, a doting mother, a hero for the poor and downtrodden of Paris, a lover of the arts, music and literature and a passionate Catholic. She is one of the people that taught me to be who I am now. That's why I owe her a lot, even my willingness to fulfill all of the promises I made to her at her deathbed. Even if Mama is no longer with us, she still remains alive in our hearts.
And yesterday was the 4th year of celebrating it without my only brother, Clopin. Ever since I was 6, Clopin started to disappear from my life so he can be educated at a boarding school in the countryside. Clopin is the best brother I ever had. Even if he is the most annoying joker and pulls off a million pranks, he's still a kind and brave boy. Fortunately, we are able to see each other during summer and winter. However, the time we spend together comes and goes quickly. That's why I do my best to cherish every moment.
But still, I celebrated my birthday the way I always celebrated it: with joy, silence and simplicity.
In the morning, my dear Papa (Monsieur Joseph) came to my bedroom to greet me and give me gifts. I received this blue journal and an inkwell from him. He said I deserved it because he thinks I might become a great writer. I just rolled my eyes and told him that it's an impossible thing. He protested, reminding me that it is possible if I have God on my side. I am lucky to have an amazing father like my Papa. He is the busy but generous owner of a large cotton factory. In spite of this, he still has the time to make sure that I am happy and safe.
My governess, Madellaine Lachappelle, came forward. She greeted me and gave me a gift. I received a pretty, violet scarf from her. She said she bought it because she knows how much I love the color violet besides green, pink, blue and yellow. Ever since she came into our lives to serve us, my family and I treated her as if she were our own flesh and blood. She was Mama's best friend when she was still alive, she is the sister Papa never had and she is a great friend of mine. After mourning for my Mama for five months, she decided to regain her composure and raise Clopin and I as if we were her own children.
Papa said he will be waiting for me in the dining room then left. Madellaine bathed me and dressed me up. She then brought me to the dining room. The servants greeted me as I entered the room. After praying together, we all ate breakfast. Trust me, it was a delightful meal coupled with pleasant conversations with one another. Once we finished eating, we prayed again. Papa, Madellaine and I headed to the most beautiful cathedral in the whole world, the Notre-Dame Cathedral.
We arrived some time before the Mass started. Suddenly, a poor woman approached us. My father gave her 30 francs. Before leaving, the poor woman thanked him and said, "God bless you". May God help her, along with all of the people who struggle daily just to keep themselves fed and warm.
When we finished genuflecting, Papa's friends, Monsieur Charles D'Amour and Madame Louise de Martin-D'Amour, and my best friend, Isabelle, approached us. Monsieur Charles and Madame Louise greeted me. Isabelle then came closer to me, gave me a kiss and a hug before greeting me. She also said, "May God bless you. May He give you joy, prosperity, good health and a good husband. May His Will be done on this world as it is in His Kingdom."
At first, Monsieur Charles and Madame Louise's marriage was rocky because they didn't like each other. But when Monsieur Charles fell ill, Madame Louise nursed him and became friends with him. Within a span of two years, their friendship bloomed into a happy marriage. They had four children together.
Monsieur Louis was their firstborn son. He is a just and wise man. That's why he became a lawyer. As a lawyer, he is very popular and honored by a lot of people.
Three years later, Father Charles came. One time, Isabelle told me the strange story of the birth of Father Charles. After Madame Louise received the Body of Christ and ate it, her water broke. Monsieur Charles swept her from the ground and laid her in their pew. A midwife, who was hearing Mass at that time too, told Monsieur Charles to step aside and let her do her job. A few minutes later, Father Charles was born. Everybody applauded and praised God because they cannot believe that they witnessed such an event. The story was so popular that it reached all of the Parisians' ears, including the journalists'. People kept wondering about what God has in store for him. Lo and behold, he became a prominent yet humble priest.
Two years later, Monsieur Georges came. He is a journalist. He writes essays and articles against the Emperor. His bravery and sense of justice made a great impact upon the way I think, speak and act.
After having three sons, Monsieur Charles and Madame Louise wanted to have a daughter. Three years later, Madame Louise miscarried a girl. That's why Monsieur Charles and Madame Louise fervently prayed for a daughter. They even visited a lot of churches and monasteries so that God can hear their prayers. Years later, my best friend came. She was named after Saint Isabella of Portugal.
Like Saint Isabella, Isabelle is a passionate Catholic. She is so passionate that she dreams of becoming a Carmelite nun. She is suitable enough to become a nun. She is deeply devoted to God, she loves serving and helping others and she loves speaking about the Bible. Aside from me, her own parents support her decision and Father Charles is willing to accompany her on her journey to the convent. But, there is one thing that is preventing Isabelle from reaching her dream: marriage.
Starting from Isabelle's 9th birthday up to now, Monsieur Francis Terreur and Madame Marguerite Auclair-Terreur are doing their best to secure a marriage between Isabelle and their son, Ramil. No matter how many times Isabelle and her parents rejected their proposal, no matter how many times Papa and Father Charles begged them to stop chasing Isabelle, they won't surrender. I pray and hope that they will grow tired of what they're doing and look for another girl who can become an appropriate bride for Ramil. I also pray and hope that nothing will stop Isabelle from becoming a nun.
We walked down the nave together and sat down in the front pew. Behind us were some other rich family and the Magloires. Joseph and Joséphine, the twins who share their birthday and year of birth with Isabelle, are our friends too. Their parents, Monsieur Joseph and Madame Josette, are also close friends of my Papa. After the births of Joseph and Joséphine, their parents decided to not have more children because Madame Josette might die. Even though they have two children, they are still a happy couple.
Since both Papa and Monsieur Joseph share the same name, we decided to call my Papa "Monsieur Joseph I" and the other Joseph "Monsieur Joseph II". Honestly, this is one of my favorite jokes.
We were conversing with one another when Judge Claude Frollo and his nephew Quasimodo came. Judge Claude is another close friend of my Papa. Even though Quasimodo is a hunchback with a limp foot, a wart on his face and a "disfigured" face, he's still our friend. From time to time, I thank God for having a good friend like Quasimodo.
Judge Frollo is a pious man, but he is absolutely not a holy one. He loves inflicting pain upon the suspects and prisoners. He also loves sending many of them to the gallows. However, he is afraid of having his hands stained with the blood of the innocent. If this happens, he may be in big trouble. That's why he uses his half-brother, Father Mathias, to get more information from the suspects and prisoners. Father Mathias is a close friend of mine and he tells me everything he goes through. However, he cannot give me all of the details of his experiences. I can explain the reasons why he cannot do such a thing. He told me that he confides his experiences not only to God, but also to me. He says he feels calm whenever I'm around. Truth be told, I am alright with that.
Father Mathias told me that he wants to be gentle towards the suspects and prisoners. He does not want to betray them after he becomes their best and closest friend, but rather he wants to be a polite interrogator. There are times when he suffers no trouble in questioning them. But there are also times when he goes through a lot of trouble. This leads to the first reason: he does not want me to know the violent experiences he went through during his visits because I'm too young to understand.
Father Mathias told me that he does not use confession as a way to make the job easier. If he will do that, he will commit a great sin and might be excommunicated by the Church. Moreover, he wants to take the long road instead of the shortcut; he wants to go through the narrow doorway instead of the wide doorway. Even if he hears their confessions, he will never tell Judge Frollo what happened. This leads to the final reason: in spite of being his close friend, I must have no knowledge about the confessions he heard from his penitents.
He saved many innocent lives. But he said that cannot change the fact that he is still a sinner. He saved some thieves from the gallows because they steal so they can keep their families and themselves fed, warm and safe. He would lie to his half-brother that they are innocent in order to release them. He gave a few thieves their own duties in their parish church and he gave the others their own duties in his hospitals. He turned the three manors he inherited from his father into hospitals for the poor. The other criminals are sent to the gallows. Before they are executed, he would administer the sacraments to them, ask for their forgiveness and hold their hands as their lives slip away. All of them did forgive him, even if some of them hated him and swore to never forgive him. I would tell him that it's important that he still did what he should do, but he said he still feels guilty.
Aside from being a ruthless judge, Judge Frollo has a passion for insulting gypsies in public. That's why I hate him with every fiber in my body. If he is the Christian he claims he is, he should love his neighbors and his enemies.
In spite of all of this, Judge Frollo is a little good. The person he loves the most is Quasimodo. He raised him as if he were his own son, he defends him from the insults of people, he plays with him even if he is tired and he allows him to be who he wants to be. Father Mathias told me how close Judge Claude and his only sister, Emily, were when she was alive. She died giving birth to Quasimodo. I think Claude loves Quasimodo because he is the only piece of his mother. Judge Frollo is close with his stepmother and his half-brothers. And, up to now, he is a single man. He doesn't want to marry because he made a vow of chastity to the Virgin Mary when he was a child. However, he hates his own brother, Jehan. Father Mathias said Judge Frollo hates him because he is a bad man.
The Mass was smooth yet kind of boring. The priest's homily was very boring. But the Eucharist was definitely the best part of the Mass. Once the Mass ended, we went to the Père Lachaise cemetery. Our governesses looked after us while the other adults were away. Papa had to manage the cotton factory. Papa asked for my forgiveness because he had to leave, which meant that we will spend the whole day without each other. Usually, Papa leaves the house after breakfast to go to work and comes back either at dinner or at night. I forgave him and let him go. Well, at least I have our nightly routine to look forward to. Like Papa, Judge Claude had to leave so he can attend to his own business.
The other adults, on the other hand, did other things. Monsieur Charles and Madame Louise walked around the cemetery. Monsieur Joseph II and Madame Joestte paid a visit to the tomb of Madame Josette's parents.
Isabelle gave me a holy card of the Holy Family as a gift. For the past few days, I confessed to Isabelle that I wanted to start a devotion to the Holy Family. When she asked, I said I wanted to treat them as if they were part of my family. Surely that's the reason why Isabelle gave me the card.
The front of the card contains a beautiful image of the Virgin Mary and Saint Joseph adoring the Child Jesus. The back of the card, on the other hand, contains a brilliant prayer to the Holy Family. Beneath the prayer is a short litany to the Holy Family. As a thank you, I hugged and kissed her.
Quasimodo is a talented wood carver ever since he was 6. From my 7th birthday until now, he would give me the fruits of his skill as gifts for me. Today, he gave me a small statue of Saint Anthony of Padua. He is one of my favorite saints because I admire the way how he dedicated his life to God and to his brothers and sisters. He prays for me whenever I am sick or in danger. I know I have a statue of him, but a smaller one is totally perfect. Like what I did to Isabelle, I thanked him by hugging and kissing him.
Joseph apologized to me because he has nothing to give me. I forgave him. Besides, it's better to give than to receive. His sister gave me long, green box. I made a guess that some clothing was inside it. I examined it at for a while before Joséphine told me to open it. My guess was right because the box contained a blue cloak. I eagerly took it out of the box to try it. Even if the cloak is too long, it still fits me. I removed it and put it in the box again. I gave the box to Madellaine, who took care of it. I gave Joséphine a hug and kiss too.
I hope I can do something to return the favor someday.
We spent the rest of the morning playing games. At noon, we departed so we can eat lunch. But we agreed that we will meet again in Quasimodo's house after lunch. Madellaine and I went back home to eat. We have eight servants and their names are Christine, Rosalie, Félicité, Catherine, Jeanne, Belle, Ruth and Ester. Throughout the meal, we talked to one another. Our conversation was full of laughter and splendor.
We then went to Quasimodo's house, which was a few blocks away from mine. When we arrived, we found out that we were the first to arrive. Madellaine stayed in the drawing room while I stayed with Quasimodo in his bedroom. In there, I watched Quasimodo do some wood carving. Once Isabelle and the twins arrived, we spent the afternoon talking and playing.
At dusk, we reluctantly parted ways. When we arrived at the house, Christine opened the door as she informed us that Clopin dropped a gift for me while I was away. My face lit up with joy. I excitedly ask her, "Where is my gift?" "On top of your bed." She answered. I excused myself then excitedly ran to my bedroom. What Christine said is true. I saw a green box resting on my bed.
I quickly sat on my bed to unwrap it and open it. The box contained a letter from my brother along with The Vicomte of Bragelonne: Ten Years Later. Thanks to my brother, I became fond of reading novels.
I knelt down beside my bed to pray. I thanked God for being surrounded by loving angels and for having a wonderful day. After praying, I got up and called for Belle. We cleaned my bed together. I thanked her then went on to read one of the novels while lying down.
Many pages later, Madellaine knocked on my door. A knock before 6 o'clock means that we must be prepared for the Angelus. I accompanied her to the prayer room, where all of the servants are kneeling down before the altar. The hour comes and, with Madellaine as the leader, we prayed the Angelus. Afterwards, we ate dinner together.
Madellaine cleaned me and helped me in changing my clothes. She then allowed me to do whatever I want to do. She went away to pray the rosary with all of the servants, except for Ruth and Ester. Both of them are Jews. I decided to wait for Papa so we can pray the rosary together. I continued reading until Papa arrived. We went to the prayer room and prayed the rosary.
Once we finished praying the rosary, Papa and I went back to my bedroom. We had a delightful conversation all night long. When Papa saw me that I was very sleepy, he told me to go to sleep. But I protested. He firmly repeated his order. I complied to his wish. He gave me a goodnight kiss and told me to sleep well.
Once he left, I said my prayers. I spoke to God as if we were friends, which I always do when we are alone. I ended the prayer with me asking Him to protect and save the poor and the downtrod. Then, I fell asleep.
I woke up at dawn because I was very excited to write down everything. I must go. The sun is already up and Madellaine is coming anytime now.
Ave Maria
A/N Sorry. I made one tiny change.