Tears like spiders.
John Wick has never been a man of tears. If he had been, to be a professional killer wouldn't have been his job. Then his name wouldn't be the reason behind that someone shivers whenever they hear it. But that is not the case. His name was already a legend and a curse that makes tremble the lips of every person who dares to say it out loud. Every person except her.
But she wasn't there anymore. And sometimes he's also afraid of saying his name out loud because that's not the name the woman he loved (and still loves) pronounced once in the past. It has changed its meaning. He's not the human she loved, he knows it and despises it. He does not know how he will continue living knowing he's not worth it. Living to remember his wife would be crude and hypocrite, and his wife does not deserve been remembered only by the man who killed hundreds of people just because of a dog.
Or well, that's how every person is pointing it out. That's how Winston portrayed it. Because for everybody, it was just a dog. Just a dog.
He's getting tired of explaining that this wasn't just a dog. This dog was the last gift of his wife, the hope she gave to him to still loving someone. When his dog died (euphemism, it was killed), the last vestige which proved that John Wick was still a human disappeared forever. Daisy hold the last tears he had to shed. Or at least that's what John Wick thinks.
He does not feel ashamed of having killed all those people because he does not care of their value as humans. If they don't understand the value of the life of his dog as something equal as their lives, why would he think different from them? That only made things easier for John. They were the only ones which decided to play hide and seek with him to get a monumental amount of money. First it was four billion, then seven, and lastly fifteen billions of dollars to be precise. But they knew they could die. They played the part they wanted, and John played the part he was forced to.
Despite of all he never cries. He's just tired. He thought that killing Winston would be one of the worst things he would ever do in his life. At the end he found himself not willing enough to kill him, he thought of him as his friend, even as his brother. He thought, for an instance, that that feeling showed him the last part of his humankind still intact inside of himself, that one he believed lost. He saw hope inside himself.
And then, the betrayal. John Wick is angry and mad and wants to destroy everything that crosses his way. But he does not feel that way because of Winston's betrayal. Nobody in that world he lives in is innocent. No one, and that includes Winston. He knows it.
What makes him angry and places him in the verge of madness is how tired he is of all of this. How stupid and unbelievable is the world he is forced to wander. He's so fucking tired he could cry if he had any tear left. Only John does not know that his tears are like spiders, biting his skin in the darkness of the night, at the bitter hours of unconsciousness. Of course, he could cry only in dreams —better call them nightmares, the worst of all if they can make cry a man who has seen too much.
But he'll never know it. Whenever he awakes again, his wet face is not covered in tears, but in the saliva of his buddy who is always assuring of waking him up with unconditional love and need. His dog takes the tears away with his tongue, erasing the possibilities of his sad and tired thoughts, and he does it before John ever realize he sometimes cries at night, while dreaming. He'll never know how fragile is the creature he becomes at the kingdom of nightmares. The only living being that will ever know it, is his buddy, and only him. The last truth of John Wick still remains in a dog.