-Look at me.- Darcy murmured, with a sweetness that Riven found it hard to believe was hers.
The boy felt the back of her fingers resting on his left cheek. The warmth and delicacy of that contact seemed to soothe the tremor of the panic attack that still pervaded his muscles.
The turmoil in Riven's mind took several seconds to subside. Abandoned on her bed, in her room that was enveloped by the night like a cloak, and dimly illuminated by the candlelight, the boy managed to focus again on the reality surrounding him. He allowed himself to glance at her with anguish and tried to perceive again the softness of the pillow and the thickness of the dark blankets under his back.
Darcy moved the back of her hand on his cheek, intensely dipping her gaze into his.
Riven felt he no longer needed words, and that he had probably said enough, perhaps more than usual, for that evening. Drained of all energy, he recommended himself to the attentions his girlfriend tried to give him, so that her closeness was enough to return him that safeness he now needed desperately.
Darcy's voice gently guided his thoughts towards a calm that had lost hope of feeling. Her words made him feel safe, as if they swept away from the air every harsh look and every contempt that infested his memories like parasites, letting them slip on him like wrinkled leaves in the wind.
-I want you to focus on me.- the girl whispered again.
-Look at my eyes. What color are they?-
Riven reacted to that unusual question with a confused look, not fully understanding her intent. He stammered a sort of reply with delay, sure that his sight worked more than well so far.
-I don't know ... it's a shade I've never seen before.-
Unsure whether those irises tended more on honey or golden amber, the boy suddenly found his mind clear, no longer prisoner of intrusive thoughts, but concentrated only on that riddle, which was managing to distract him. from the poison he had kept in mind for days. Darcy's eyes, on which he realized he had never lingered longer than that, now seemed to reveal something to him, the emotions that seemed to fit perfectly with his, born from the same dark and uncertain experiences. He could not tell exactly what color those eyes were, but he was sure they were magnificent.
-And my nose? How about my nose?-
Riven repressed a smile, convinced that he was taking part in some strange game he didn't know the rules for. He felt like he was gone back to his childhood, at the time when receiving love and attention was something ordinary and unconditional.
-I've never liked it.- she said again, with a truthfullness full of sense of humor that, on her, was not bad at all. -You won't believe it; people always made fun of me because of it, when I was young .-
Riven, not knowing how, found himself raising his left arm and touching her tiny and slightly arched nose with his index finger, letting a smile out.
-I like it.-
Darcy returned the smile, softening her usual sulky expression.
-And how about my hair?-
This time Riven drew his attention to the brown hair wrapped around her. He believed it was easier to make a judgment on the thing that had attracted him the most from the beginning. But Darcy's hair was something he couldn't describe. Each time, he had to touch them with his fingers, smell their perfume to make sure that he was not dreaming, or that he had not fallen under one of her illusions.
-And how about my lips? -
Riven turned his eyes to the girl's barely hinted smile, incredulous of the calm that had suddenly took hold of him, as fast as it had disappeared before.
He thought he could at least try to let her know how much he liked the sound of her laughter, or that of the good words that only came out of those lips in his presence, giving him confidence where others only saw bad intentions.
Without bothering to think of a logical answer, and abandoning himself to the new warmth he felt in his chest, he moved forward and kissed her.
And he had no intention to leave her for the time it took him to convince himself of that certainty he now had: whatever happened to him, she would always be on his side, ready to value him and giving the affection he deserved; ready to look at him with those eyes that could see beyond what everyone seemed to see; ready to save him once again.