This is set early in the series, like season 1 or 2, but slightly AU without Roy being part of the picture. I remember reading something like this a long time ago and I just thought it was cute :)
"Hi Pam, it's Jim. How's Scranton? Has Dwight killed someone yet? How many things has Michael ruined? It's really nice in Cali and I saw the Pacific Ocean! I know, pretty epic. I'll send you a photo. It's also really warm over here, strangely warm. It must be this global warming thing they keep talking about. Maybe it's Mother Nature trying to tell me to actually try and look after the environment. I doubt it though. I'll just have to keep up my bad habits. Anyway, I'll talk to you later. Bye."
"Hey Jim, it's me. Scranton is… Scranton. Nothing new. No, Dwight hasn't killed anyone yet but it's only a matter of days. I actually think he's missing you, sometimes in the middle of the day I look up and he's just staring at your desk. However, he did find a leaf in the carpark that he doesn't think came from a nearby tree. I told him it was from a rare drug called Hoabdoped. It's worse than marijuana. You'll have to look out for it in California, it's becoming a bit of a problem over there. He's now been interviewing everyone in the building and his current two suspects are Daryll and Stanley. I'll let you figure out why. Ooh and you'll be proud of me, some drunk guy hit on me. It was quite a life experience. He was cute, but seriously, seriously drunk. Like ten times worse than what you say I was like at the Dundies that time. I don't remember much but I still don't think I was as drunk as you made me sound. Also Michael has a new girlfriend called Tania and she is totally a stripper. You just wait until you meet her, I'm actually pretty sure she was one of the chics at that office party in the warehouse a few years back. So, what did I miss. Dwight discovered a new drug, a drunk guy hit on me, Michael became a sugar daddy… I think that's it. I'll talk to you later, bye."
"Hey, Beesly. It's your best friend calling from the other side of the country. I know you miss me. Wow, it sounds like all the interesting stuff happens as soon as I leave… funny that. Next time Dwight's staring, tell him I'll be home soon and I've had some ideas while I've been away for pranks I need to try. There is a lot of jelly involved. That should get him excited. And yes, I do believe that I've come in close contact with the Hoabdoped recently. Poor Daryll and Stanley. What's a black guy gotta do to live a normal life nowadays? You go girl, the next step after getting drunk guys to hit on you is getting the sober ones. But, I mean, you mastered the drunks with such ease that I doubt you'll have any trouble getting men in their right mind. And I actually do remember there being a girl called Tania at that strip club that Michael decided to take all the guys to that one time. I don't remember what she looked like but I remember Creed got very drunk and started dancing with one of the strippers while he yelled the name Tania every so often. Or maybe he was sober. I can never tell with Creed. Hey, maybe your next stage can be seducing Creed? That wouldn't be that hard. Anyway, we had the first of those paper salesman conventions today. As you can guess, it was super boring. Like, not even funny, boring. I spent the whole time watching the little box on the screensaver thingy when it went into the corner. I must have watched that thing for three hours and it never hit it. Whoever designed that is a worse person than Michael. Anyway, I'm going to go to bed, goodnight. Oh, and start leaving your phone on, I can never seem to reach you. Bye."
"Nice try Halpert, I'm best friend's with Dwight now, you being away for two days is all it took. If anything, I'm enjoying the freedom of you being away, don't kid yourself. I know you like to think that every night I cry myself to sleep, praying for your strong arms around me but keep dreaming buddy. I gave Dwight your message and he turned white before going into the kitchen and throwing all the jelly in the bin. What a killjoy. And haha. I can get sober men to flirt with me. You flirt with me all the time, are you calling yourself drunk? You know, I did have a dream once where you confessed to always being drunk. And you kept like a vodka stash in the top drawer of your desk. That was a weird dream… also, I think I remember you telling me about Creed and Tania. She's definitely a stripper. You should see how she takes off her coat. Next time she's at the office, I'm going to ask how they met. That could be an interesting story. And speaking of your boring sales afternoon, that's your fault for sucking up to Michael and asking to go on the trip instead of Dwight. The lengths that you go to annoy him I'll never understand. Okay, bye. Oh, and I got your photo of the Pacific Ocean! It looks like the Atlantic except… well, except nothing. I'd still like to see it though. Maybe I'll fly out there if I can get Michael to give me some time off. How much longer are you there for? Two weeks? Of paper meetings? Far out, Jim, I don't think you're gonna make it. Goodnight."
"So you think my arms are strong? Interesting. Well, I'll try to make that fantasy of yours come true, but we can arrange that booty call later. And I do not flirt with you! You wish. I know you're head over heels in love you me, Beesly, no point hiding it anymore. Also, you have weird dreams. Like, you-should-try-and-see-a-doctor weird dreams. I'm worried for you Pammie. But it's good to see that you dream about me. And it is not my fault, I don't regret it for a second. The look on Dwight's face when he found out that I was going instead of him… priceless. Never been so thrilled in my life. And it's pretty nice out here, I haven't been to California since high school. Do you reckon I should go to Hollywood tomorrow and pretend to be someone famous? I'll just act really rich and snobby and give a bunch of people my autograph. I reckon I'm cute enough for, don't ya think? Anyway, I'm tired so goodnight Pam."
"Eurgh, I'm so annoyed by your voicemail. Why do you always have your phone turned off? Like come on, dude. Also, as fun as that sounds I'm going to have to say no to that booty call and say no to your strong arms. You wish I was head over heels in love with you… don't sound so excited that I had a dream where you were a total alcoholic, that's not something you should be proud of. You're grasping at straws here. And when you complain to me every single night for the next two weeks, just remember that look on Dwight's face and know that it was all worth it. Not. If people are dumb enough to believe that you are a Hollywood actor, then they need to see a doctor. I asked Tania today how she and Michael met! Apparently, she is a woman who works for party businesses and she was working at the birthday of one of Michael's relatives. So I'm theorising that it was Michael's cousin's birthday and they invited a stripper and that's how they met. She's too good looking for him and she actually seems kinda sweet so I reckon one of Michael's relatives, like his parents or something, are paying her to stay with him. That checks out, I reckon. And Dwight sent the suspicious leaf off to the "lab" to get checked. Also, don't call me Pammie. You know I hate it. I do miss you though. The office is too quiet without you. Goodnight, sleep well."
"Honestly, the fact that I've missed you so many times must be a record by now. I called you back five minutes after you called me and your phone didn't go through. I'm using all my minutes talking to your voicemail. You're paying for me to get more credit. In today's meeting the guy running it burst into tears and ran out of the room when we got to the scented paper section. Apparently he's going through a divorce and that's how he used to woo his ex wife. Well, soon to be his ex wife. That Tania is definitely being paid by someone. You make her sound so evil. Are you jealous, Beesly? You sound jealous. I can't wait to get back and meet her in one week and five days. Urgh! That's twelve days of sales meetings. Oh well. When I inevitably die from boredom, I'll leave you my desk chair. You can sit on it and remember me. And I don't know who Dwight's kidding, Scranton Police Department doesn't have a lab. Even I know that. So good luck to him on finding who's leaf that is. It probably just blew over from next door. God, I miss messing with his head. Don't worry, I miss you too, I never thought actually I'd miss hearing your "Dunder Mifflin, this is Pam," twenty million times a day, but I actually do. Talk to you soon, goodnight."
"So, I'm watching this new show on HBO. It's so stupid. And I was thinking, you know what I usually do when a stupid show comes on? I call you. But then I got your voicemail - again - and so I've recorded it and we can watch it together when you get back. Uh, please pick up. I'm actually missing you! And I'm actually admitting to it! That deserves you calling me back, doesn't it? *Sigh* Where are you staying? Somewhere nice?"
"I am calling you back, you're not picking up though. I'm staying at this place called Dursley Street Hotel, it's only a few doors down from the Paper Meeting Place. It's fairly good but I swear it's haunted. Ooh, when I come back can we break into Dwight's Best Farm? I need to know if that place exists. It is crucial. Miss you, bye."
"Hello James, it's Pamela. I'm extremely bored and Kelly dared me to speak in a British accent for the rest of the day so I shall. By this point I honestly just think you are ignoring my calls because you are having an affair with my voicemail. If so, I encourage you to break up with her, she's very moody and unpredictable. Miss you."
"You're such a dork."
"You love it."
NYC airport was absolutely packed when Jim's flight got in, a week and a bit later. People flew around, running up to family members, arguing with the customs people, buying magazines and food for the flight. He thanked the attendant as he walked into the seating area, glancing around and dodging a group of kids. A few people glanced at him with raised eyebrows, and he knew he looked like shit, but that was expected after waking up at the crack of dawn to get through LA traffic.
Jim sighed when he didn't see Mark, pulling out his phone to text him, when all of a sudden, he felt someone throw their arms around his neck.
"Jim!" He heard someone squeal, their familiar voice lighting up his face.
He spun around, untangling her arms from his so he could look at her properly. She looked mostly the same, he had only been gone about three weeks, but it felt like longer, and he missed hearing her all day, every day.
"Hey Beesly. Missed me, did you?" He teased.
Pam rolled her eyes at him, tucking her frizzy hair behind her ear. "I've been so bored." She groaned.
"I can tell. The amount of voicemails…" Jim shrugged.
"Hey! You started that phone tag cause you missed me. So don't make it sound like it was all my idea." Pam poked him in the chest and they both held each other in a silent staring match, both trying not to laugh. Finally Jim grinned, reaching down to hug her again, while she laughed against his shoulder. He held her tightly, honestly not quite believing how much he had missed her.
She pulled away, smiling softly at him, before going to grab his suitcase and instantly dropping it.
"Jesus, Halpert! Have you ever heard of packing light!" Pam cried, staring from him to the suitcase and then back again.
He snorted. "Wimp." Pam hit his shoulder, glaring at him. "I'm sorry!"
"You better be." She muttered as his arm made its way around her shoulders, his other hand reaching down to pick up his suitcase.
"Okay, okay, so it turns out Tania was actually cheating on Michael with Creed the entire time! And Michael found out yesterday. And you'll never guess what his reaction was." She grinned, jostling him with her shoulder.
"To keep dating her?" Jim rolled his eyes, knowing this story all too well.
"Exactly. You'd think he would have learnt by now." She rolled her eyes. "You look like crap, by the way."
"That's honest." Jim muttered. Pam grinned and dropped her head into his shoulder.
"I'm glad you're back."
"Me too."
Please comment and review, this is my first Office fanfiction x