Oh. My. God.

I finally watched Shazam, and holy crap I was not expecting it to be that good. I'm literally so disappointed in myself for not seeing this work of art sooner.

I loved pretty much everything about this movie. The characters, the humor, the diversity, the acting, the plot, it was all just mwah *chef's kiss* perfection. Think it's safe to say this is currently my favorite film lol

Warnings: This story does contain self-harm, and depressive thoughts. To anyone who's hurting, things will get better. You're not weak, there's nothing wrong with you. You're worth so much, and you were put on this earth for a reason, don't go and blow the candle out. Love you guys

/I tried to scream, but my head was underwater. They called me weak, like I'm not just somebody's child.

Could've been a nightmare. But it felt like they were right there. And it feels like yesterday was a year ago, but I don't wanna let anybody know. 'Cause everybody wants something from me now, and I don't wanna let 'em down - Everything I Wanted - Billie Eilish

His fifteenth birthday was coming up, something Darla made sure to remind him of everyday. He smiled faintly, remembering how excited she was about getting funfetti cake, and staying up late to play video games.

The last seven months of his life have been nothing short of insane. He finally found a family, got powers from an old wizard, became a superhero YouTube sensation, almost got killed by a bald psychopath who was friends with literal demons. Eventually defeated said psychopath with the help of his badass brothers and sisters. Hell, he basically had his own Justice League team now...

So why didn't he feel happy?

It happened several weeks ago, on a Friday night. He and the others decided to do a quick patrol around the city, it started off normal and fun. Until they found a little girl passed out on the sidewalk.

Darla had been the one to take her to the hospital, which he knew was the logical choice because of her speed (but he wanted so badly to go with them-). Once the rest of them had arrived, they saw Darla with her hands over her face, crying by the entrance. Thirty minutes later, a doctor walked up to them with a sad expression on his face, and said they did everything they could. But the girl had died from starvation and pneumonia.

Everything seemed to come to a screeching halt after those words were spoken. He stumbled back, and transformed as he ran into one of the nearest restrooms to vomit profusely.

Why?

It was his job to protect people, to save people, and he couldn't even help a little girl.

Where was this kid's mom?

Mothers are supposed to love their kids unconditionally and be willing to take a bullet for them, right? So where the hell was this mom while her four-year-old daughter was dying all alone near an alleyway?

Billy punched the countertop and released a stifled sob.

His life went tumbling into a downward spiral after that. He started picking fights again, withdrew from conversations, fell behind on his grades, hardly ate dinner (or any food) with his family anymore. Lost sleep because he was terrified of the nightmares. He could tell his parents and siblings were concerned, but they weren't sure if they should try to talk directly about it to him or not. Rosa, Mary, and Freddie attempted to a few times, but he always snapped at them that he was fine.

He tried his best to ignore the whispers in his head, insisting what a worthless burden he was, but it was hard.

Now here he was, staring at his reflection in the bathroom mirror distastefully. He had run straight to the house after school and locked himself in here, clutching a shard of broken glass he picked up from the street.

His gaunt pale face, and the ugly bags under his eyes were painfully obvious, as if to mock him. He knew some kids at school had been laughing at his appearance for awhile.

Taking shallow breaths, he placed the glass on his forearm. He first started doing this when he was twelve, and after becoming Shazam; he thought he'd never go back to doing it because heroes were supposed to be invincible.

You do nothing.

Here you are, a coward.

Failure.

"But you're good, right?"

He wasn't, but obviously she didn't give a single shit.

The glass cut deeper to the point of drawing blood, but he barely felt it. It wasn't enough. He pushed in more, wincing at the sharp sting, but welcoming it at the same time.

"-now is not a really good time for me, Bill."

The door suddenly banged, causing him to drop the glass in shock and fear. His heart pounded against his chest, he was scared it was going to rupture at any second.

When did breathing become so complicated?

"Billy! Billy! I swear to god you've been hogging the bathroom for over an hour, what are you doing?! I knew Victor getting us those tacos from the gas station last night was a bad idea." Freddie said loudly, annoyance evident in his tone.

It was Freddie, Freddie, his brother wanted to come in (he was in here for an hour?). Which made sense, there were only three bathrooms in the house. And one of them was out of use because Eugene had performed some sort of mad scientist experiment in there. Right, he needed to hurry up and open the door. His arm and eyes were red but-

Oh shit.

He immediately threw the glass in the trash can and covered it with toilet paper. He rushed to clean up the rest of the mess he'd made, praying there'd be no evidence of what he'd been doing left behind.

"About time," Freddie scoffed as he swung the door open.

"Yeah, sorry I just umm...sorry it was stupid." Billy murmured, scrubbing his eyes furiously, moving past his brother.

"Hey, are you okay?" Freddie asked, grabbing his arm before he left. "Wait, are you crying?"

"No man, I'm fine let me go," Billy said, trying to sound annoyed. He definitely was not doing a good job at hiding his panic.

"Okay I would, if I was an idiot. Cause only an idiot would shrug their shoulders and believe that you were fine. When clearly you're not fine, what's the matter?"

"Nothing, just drop it. I've handled this before, so it's not a big deal."

"Handled what-." Freddie's face suddenly twisted in horror staring at Billy's other arm. Billy blinked at him confused, before he looked down and noticed little drops of blood falling from his sleeve.

(SHIT, SHIT, SHIT, SHIT, NO-)

He couldn't move, the walls threatened to crush him, his vision blurred. The pressure in his chest increased, and he knew for sure he was dying.

Why was it so hard to fucking breathe?!

He thought he heard Freddie swear and say something else, but he couldn't make out what. Next thing he knew, he was being dragged to their room and Freddie carefully lowered him on the bed.

Billy felt a firm hand on his shoulder and noticed his brother looking at him with worry.

"Follow my breathing pattern," Freddie instructed calmly. He nodded and tried his best to copy his movements -despite the agonizing process-.

"Can I bandage your arm?" Freddie asked quietly, once Billy's breathing somewhat returned to normal.

He nodded slowly in response. Freddie sighed in relief and took out a small first aid kit from his nightstand. Billy forced himself to stay as still as possible as Freddie cleaned off the blood, then wrapped up the cut with gauze. After he was done, they fell into a tense silence.

"She didn't...she didn't even say bye." Billy finally whispered, his voice cracked with emotion, knowing he was on the very edge from breaking down completely.

Freddie's expression turned sympathetic (knowing exactly who his brother was talking about), and he immediately pulled him in for a hug. That was the moment the dam broke, and Billy clung to his brother desperately. Salty tears slipping down his face, soaking Freddie's shirt.

Several minutes passed, they stayed in the same position until the tears and shaking slowed down.

"Billy, listen, you're my best friend and one of the greatest heroes out there, besides our sisters and Superman. And I hate seeing you suffering like this. I'm so sorry I didn't try harder to talk to you. Believe me, I understand how much it hurts, but doing this won't help anything. I know someone who went through something similar, and now they're out there kicking ass, with an awesome future ahead of 'em. I love you, and I'm here for you, we all are, Shazamily remember? It's gonna be okay, you are going to be okay." Freddie promised, fighting to keep his own tears at bay, so he could be strong for his brother.

"I love you too bro, thank you," Billy said gratefully, as he gently pushed away from the embrace.

"Don't mention it."

"And Freddie, I'm...I'm sorry for being an asshole towards you guys lately." Billy looked at the floor with guilt.

"Nah, don't worry about it. It bought back some golden memories of when you moved in." Freddie said, making both of them laugh.

"Alright, c'mon Captain Sparklefingers, it's your turn to pick something for movie night. And I think Rosa is ordering some pizza too."

{Five Weeks Later}

"Billy! Come downstairs, breakfast is ready!" Mary's voice shouted from the kitchen.

Quickly turning off his music, he put his phone in his pocket, grabbed his backpack, and proceeded to go meet his family for some cereal.

Running down the stairs, he wondered if anyone would have time to go to the movies with him later or something-

"Surprise!"

His jaw dropped at the sight in front of him. There were tons of neon balloons and decorations all over the dining room. Rosa and Mary were recording his reaction, Darla held a bright red sign that read, 'HAPPY BIRTHDAY To One Of My AWESOME Big Brothers,' in yellow glitter. His favorite cake was in the center of the table, surrounded by presents.

"Bet you didn't think Darla could keep a big surprise party a secret, huh?" Mary chuckled, putting away her phone.

Billy rubbed the corners of his eyes as soon as he felt them becoming moist. "I don't deserve all this though," he said, still shocked what they did for him.

"What do you mean? Of course you do sweetie," Rosa said with a confused smile, giving him a side-hug.

Warmth spread through him at the sincerity of her words. "You guys are amazing, thank you so much."

For the first time in months, he felt genuinely happy (and it was incredible).

"Yeah, yeah, we know. Can we hurry up and eat cake now? I'm staving," Eugene groaned dramatically. Freddie and Pedro agreed simultaneously, while Darla argued that they should open presents first instead.

{One Year Later}

Life continued on, and it was hectic, messy, good, and emotional.

He didn't magically get better overnight, it would be nice if things were that simple. But...he was healing.

He decided to tell Rosa and Victor about his struggle with self-harm a month after his birthday. And to his relief, they didn't judge or yell at him, and instead gave him a tight hug and promised to support him in whatever way they could.

For now, he was just relieved that the mission was a success. And as he watched the eight-year-old boy he rescued from an abduction, reunite with his parents. He finally felt a true sense of peace.

Yeah, he'd be okay.

gahhhhhhh I feel eviler than Sivana for doing this to my baby :,(

(Also the person Freddie mentioned is actually Mary, the reason he didn't tell Billy is because he wanted to respect his big sister's privacy which is how everyone should be. god I'm so sorry for hurting my kids like this)

If you guys have the time, I'd love to know your thoughts on this =), and I hope everyone's safe/okay right now