I've been sitting on this for a while and finally posted it. It will be worked on between a few of my other stories.
There are some obvious changes to the game, such as Alduin not dying. There are not many details about the final fight but there are references as to what happened. Hopefully, they seem real enough. At this point, it's been several months and so Greysi and Alduin have had a chance to bond. So, again, hopefully I've created something of a realistic relationship between my OC and the dragons.
Dragonborns have the ability to make a larger range of noise, such as more dragon-like snarls or even something akin to purring. I mostly wanted to explore that and how having a soul of a dragon is more complicated than the game really explored.
WARNING: this story includes references to child abuse, torture, and rape/non-con. While there will be none in this story, it will be spoken about.
Summary: Greysi's dreams are plagued by a man with a golden mask, leading her to Solstheim in an attempt to put an end to them before the sleep deprivation kills her. Once there, however, she is drawn to the only other being alive that understands what exactly it means to be dovahkiin.
Miraak x Female Dragonborn
Cross posted with AO3
Upon the roof of the observation tower, Greysi was crouched. The height brought her that much closer to the free sky, brought her closer to a freedom she'd never able to experience on her own.
As the cool wind that blew across the lake, ripping water and rustling trees also brushed past her; it allowed her to imagine.
Imagine the feeling of spreading her own wings, feeling the wind beneath them.
Imagine that she was not trapped in the wrong body, cursed to walk and never fly of her own free will.
Greysi would not deny that she was envious of her fellow dovah.
But that was not why she was up here, her exhausted mind continued to flash her images of her dream. A recurring one that began obscure and unintelligible but the nights she actually slept, they grew clear.
…Come…
…Solstheim…
…Find…
…Waiting…
...Siiv zu'u, roh...
Flashes of a golden mask, the figure of a large man consumed by dark tendrils that sway and whipped like they had a mind of their own was what Greysi jolted awake from hours prior.
So many hours that the moon had long since begun its descent and the sun was illuminating the land once more.
Whoever this man was, he was trying to draw her somewhere—Solstheim, if she could recall correctly.
She had heard of it, distantly, but never anything of importance was included in the discussion.
(She heard a lot of things with her chosen lifestyle; gossip and confidential information. Secrets that would ruin people, secrets that would disgrace even the most loved and prominent of people.)
But—there was something about this man; it was as if her soul was reacting to this calling. Her dovah, the first time she had the dream, hadn't settled for hours afterwards. But every dream since… it was as if her soul was trying to call out to answer.
Greysi was pulled from her musing at the muffled voices inside, the distinct voice of Alduin being awoken by Durnehviir's occasional loud snore.
Alduin cursing at Durnehviir had become somewhat of a morning ritual.
It brought a smile to her face.
Her scarred back itched as a group of birds flew overhead.
Greysi had many scars, some put there by others, some of her own making. Her own were of a worse state then others, the almost V shape of scratches from her nails were the worst. She had mutilated herself when she was a child; when she had no idea why it felt like she was missing something when she felt like she was in the wrong body—when all she could do to relieve it was scratch and scratch.
She heard the door open and close, the movement of feet on dirt and the sound of one of her brothers returning to their true form.
A black scaled head appeared in the corner of her eye. Greysi twisted her head to meet Alduin's red gaze.
"Fin hahnu?"
Greysi nodded.
Alduin gave a quiet murmur of acknowledge and sighed deeply. "Let us fly." He offered his head and she climbed on, laying on her front, arms curling around his horns. His warmth easily seeped into her being, the hours outside had left Greysi chilled and so the heat left her relaxing.
The gush of wind of a take-off and they were in the air. Greysi imagined stretching her non-existent wings and smiled, which turned sleepy as she was lulled to sleep.
Paarthurnax was there when Alduin returned with his sleeping cargo, the white-haired humanoid's face creased into concern.
Alduin walked forward, being careful not the jostle Greysi as he lowered his head enough for his brother to take her from him.
" Ahrk ful hi tinvaak hi dreh ni aaz fah ek, zeymah."
Paarthurnax quipped.
Alduin just huffed out a cloud of smoke at him before shifting back down. He grimaced, he had hated it at first—still did, but not nearly as much—that he was forced to walk among the joor and learn just what they did to survive.
Damn his Father.
Besides the fact, he was forced to spend most of the time int he shape of a joor, and only limited time in his true form, his powers had been subdued too.
His brethren had been given the ability to shift also, but none had been bound like him. So at least he did not have to suffer knowing he was the only one to walk among the joors as Paarthurnax, Odahviing, and Durnehviir had come together to quote-unquote watch over him, but he knew it was just an excuse to watch over the mal dovahkiin instead.
(Durnehviir had been a complete surprise, he had vanished one day never to return—there had been no clues of what had happened to him. But the fool had been meddling in things above him. He'd sighed, all three of them had sighed in fact, as Durnehviir told them exactly what had happened to him.
Greysi had sat and listened with quite the interested ear, she'd known loosely of how her brethren had gotten stuck but not heard the full tale.)
Alduin wondered if he would one day regain more of his strength to at least bring more of their kind back—Laasdrampaar would be one of the first, her compassion and drive to protect her fellow bearers had made her one not to trifle with. He had trusted her greatly, and her death at joor hands had enraged him.
He followed Paarthurnax inside, Odahviing's bright red hair snatched his attention immediately, his ruffled appearance next.
"What happened?"
He was goddamned shushed. He waited until Paarthurnax had moved upstairs to put Greysi in her bed of furs before asking again.
"What happened to you?"
Odahviing sighed. "The Blades. I was travelling back when they attacked. Got me completely by surprise, they had been clearly waiting."
"The blonde joor?"
"Was there."
Durnehviir gave a rumble in muted anger. "They do not understand the consequences of what exactly they are getting into. It's like they wish to start an all-out war with us. They only live because of Greysi's aaz."
Alduin cocked a brow—Greysi's mercy? She was as feral as one could get; she bore no trouble killing someone if it suited her needs. She was an assassin. She had little compassion for most beings.
Odahviing waved Durnehviir off. "What of our briinah? She looks like she hadn't slept in days."
"That's because she hasn't." Alduin scowled. "She can't sleep for more than a few hours before her strange dream awakens her."
"It's bizarre." Durnehviir chimed in. "We tried burning lavender, even using our thu'um but nothing works."
Odahviing blinked in confusion. "Why not just ask her what the dream is about?"
"She won't tell us." Paarthurnax answered as he quietly moved down the stairs to join them. "Greysi is quite determined to keep whatever it is she's seeing to herself."
"Golah"
"Rek los." Durnehviir agreed.
The pattering of paws and Greysi's overly fluffy feline companion Ellie appeared. She sat in the doorframe of the room for a moment, watching them with intelligent green eyes. Then she meowed quietly and leapt onto Alduin's lap, she trilled up at him and he ran his hand along her back. She settled there.
"Can we go back to the Blades now?" Paarthurnax asked, a worried crease of his brows present. "I would like to discuss what exactly we should do about our growing problem with them."
Alduin ground his jaw back and forth. "Mu nis dreh pogass. They would likely use any retaliation against us. We have proven we don't mean harm since—"
"—Since our briinah kicked your ass?" Durnehviir grinned.
Paarthurnax sighed and Odahviing huffed in amusement.
"Yes." Alduin drawled, finding no humour where the zii and fo dovah did. "The Blades are going out of their way to try and prove we are still a threat, therefore they will eventually slip up."
Odahviing smirked. "I like the sound of this plan."
"Goodness." Paarthurnax rubbed his brow.
"Greysi." Paarthurnax approached and she turned and raised a brow. "I know you don't wish to, but please known that our ears are open if you are in need."
She sighed, running a hand through her hair. "I know, zeymah. I just don't know what the make of it all."
"Perhaps some wisdom from someone as old as I am may be of help."
She smiled, the corner of her eyes crinkling softly. "What do you know of Solstheim?"
Paarthurnax exhaled sharply. "Are you sure that it is Solstheim you wish to know about?"
Greysi frowned at his reaction, worry wiggling in her chest. "Yes, is something wrong?"
"Solstheim." Paarthurnax echoed once more, his gaze went distant; like he was stuck in the past. He sighed heavily. "Solstheim was ruled over by the first dovahkiin."
Greysi swallowed. "First?"
"Geh. He was a Dragon Priest, mir ahrk suleykaar, and when he learnt of what he was, he horvutah control of Solstheim and kriin us in his desire to rule. Ruthless and efficient; his name was Miraak."
"Miraak." Greysi repeat, eyes returning to the water's surface.
…Come…
…Solstheim…
…Find…
…Waiting…
...Siiv zu'u, roh...
"There is a man in my dream." She adds quietly; hesitantly. "He is tall, wears garbs and a mask like the Priests I've fought. He even spoke in Dovahzul."
Paarthurnax squeezes his eyes closed, wishing what Greysi was saying to possibly be was impossible. "We must speak to Alduin and Odahviing, they mindok more of Miraak."
"I refuse."
Greysi stilled. "What?"
Alduin snarled. "You are not stepping foot on Solstheim."
"I'm an adult, Alduin."
"I said no."
"You cannot forbid me like I as some kiir." She barked back; metaphorical feathers ruffled at the idea that he would dare try and order her as if she was some—
"But I know far more of Miraak then you do!" Alduin bit back. "You have no business dealing with him."
"Whether or not you like it, zu'u bo!"
"Ni!"
"Geh!"
"Alduin." Paarthurnax broke in before his brood-brother could response again. "We cannot demand she stay here. Especially if he is the reason she is suffering. Going to Solstheim may help her resolve her hahnu."
"Paarthurnax is right; ro los fin onik gein."
Alduin snarl in Odahviing's direction. "Hold your tongue."
"You do not own me, Alduin. You have no right to tell me what I can and cannot do."
"I was not—" He drew back sharply, akin to being slapped. He knew immediately at what she had meant and did it leave an ache deep in his chest. "That is not what I—"
"It doesn't matter what your aim was." Greysi glared. "You use that tone with me again and we going to have a serious problem."
And then in a whirlwind of movement, she was gone, leaving the door to slam closed behind her.
Paarthurnax sighed and Odahviing watched warily as Alduin turned and threw a chair across the room with a wordless yell of anger.
Almost to the hour later, three of the four dragons met Greysi outside to see her off.
"Please don't do anything reckless, Greysi." Paarthurnax pressed a kiss to her forehead.
"Summon me if you have any need. Any at all, okay?" Durnehviir offered, worry light in his eyes. "Proximity to any of us help with your sleep, so if you just need me for that then you know I will always be available."
Greysi melted into his hug and she pressed a kiss to his cheek, whispering softly: "I know, zeymah."
Odahviing handed her bag back and she slipped it on, thanking him with a kiss to the check also. She eyed their surroundings before sighing.
"He needs time." Paarthurnax reassures her. "His worry only comes from a place of concern."
She knew that but it didn't mean it didn't hurt her, she'd confided in them her secrets, her mental and physical scars. So Alduin trying to order her as if he had any right too—it hurt, deeply. His tone alone had set her off, sleep deprivation and old haunts mixing were not a good thing; it resulted in volatile behaviour.
She was as much at fault as Alduin.
Greysi gave Paarthurnax a weak smile, showing she knew what he meant. Then she swung herself up onto Shadowmere's back, patting her neck in greeting.
"Try not to get into any trouble while I'm gone." She flashes them a grin and Durnehviir chortled, which he got a look from Paarthurnax for.
Greysi shook her head and kicked Shadowmere into a trot, leaning down to murmur her destination. "To Dawnstars's Sanctuary, my friend."
Shadowmere pounced into a canter.
Odnir was sprawled across the roof of the Nightcaller Temple just above Dawnstar. She had made the former Vaermina temple her home. Last she'd spoken to Odnir, she and Erandur had become quite good friends.
Greysi was happy to see not everyone feared the dragons, especially now attacks had stopped and Alduin had been subdued.
Surprisingly it had been a lot of Nords that had taken the change the best, but then dovah and Nords had a long and complicated intertwined history. People were still wary, but in actuality, the dragon attacks had been quite a rare thing—most happened when people trespassed on their claimed territory or attacked first.
Of course, there were dovah that went out of their way to attack people and those were the ones Greysi was forced to deal with. The less hostile ones were easier to negotiate with.
(Especially easier when she spoke to them in Dovahzul instead of common. They held far more respect for her when she spoke to them in their mother-tongue. She was glad she took the lessons from Paarthurnax early on, she couldn't not speak it now becuase of how right it felt.)
Attacks had all but stopped after she had defeated Alduin, and he had ordered for them to not go out of their way to attack joor.
If they were to try and live in somewhat harmony in this era, then compromise was a necessity.
She dismounted Shadowmere and fed her an apple in thanks before entering the sanctuary.
She was still bitter about Astrid, her betrayal still stung deep. The blonde had been like a mother to her; when Astrid had taken her in, she was nothing more than a scared eight-year-old, littered with psychical and mental scars of her torture still so freshly carved upon her.
So knowing Astrid sold them out to the Empire, she deserved her painful death.
Greysi hadn't even waited for Astrid to finish her words before slitting her throat, watching the woman gargle on her blood.
It wasn't a quick death, and Astrid deserved every moment of it.
Cicero's muttering of Astrid challenging the Night Mother's authority and Astrid asking her to spy on the strange man had an uneasy feeling settling in her too. But to think Astrid had gone so far, that she claimed to worship their Dread Father and yet did not believe of the Night Mother's role was…. insulting.
Sithis was one all of the Brotherhood looked too, worshipped.
He was the reason Greysi had found the Dark Brotherhood in the first place.
That Astrid would insult him in such a way was a worse crime to her than the fact she'd sold them out.
"Greysi!" Babette greeted as the Dragonborn stepped down.
Cicero perked up also, a grin splitting across his face. "The Listener has returned! Cicero hopes in good health?"
Greysi flashed the mad man a smile. "I am." Then turned back to Babette. "Everything going alright?"
"We've got another initiate, Nazir's taken him under his wing."
Greysi lingered, catching up with the vampire and mad man before excusing herself. She wished to pray to the Night Mother and Dread Father before she left for Windhelm.
She set up fresh candles and lit them, laying a cluster of Deathbells at the foot of Night Mother's coffin.
She settled on her knees, fingers linking and palms facing upwards. She took a breath and released it slowly.
Father, Mother, I seek guidance—
"If you're looking for passage to Solsthiem, too bad. I'm not going back there anymore."
Greysi frowned, irritation forming which she kept from her face. "What happened? Why won't you go back?"
"Look, it's hard to explain, there's something going on there, some strange magic. I fear either myself or my crew may fall victim to it next. So I'm not going back to Solstheim."
"I'll pay you double your usual rate if you take me there." Greysi bargained. She had the money to spend and if cashing some extra would get her to Solstheim, then she was more than willing to.
Gjalund sighed heavily, eyeing her warily. "Are you sure? I will not be at fault if you fall prey to the strange magic."
"I'm sure."
"Alright." He stood. "Boys get it together, we're heading out in thirty."
Greysi went to step aboard the Northern Maiden when she heard a familiar voice calling her name. "Greysi."
She turned to Alduin and set her bag on the boat before stepping closer. "Alduin, about before—"
"I came to apologise, mal gein." He interrupted, shushing her when she opened her mouth to speak. "My behaviour was inappropriate, especially knowing of your scars and your current ailments. I shouldn't have been so forceful."
The dovahkiin stepped closer, arms sliding around his waist, burying her face into his chest. "We both reacted poorly, dii fahdon."
His arms slipped around her shoulders, practically hiding her head from view with how much large he was in comparison to her. "Zu'u mindok hi lost ruth morah geinmaar."
Alduin hummed deeply, the sound vibrating his chest and Greysi nuzzled into it. "Please be careful. Miraak is not one to underestimate, hi mindoraan?"
Greysi nodded before pulled back from the hug, pressing a kiss to his jaw in parting. "I will, dii zeymah."
She boarded.
Original dragon names:
Laasdrampaar – life peace ambition (female fire dragon)
Odnir - Snow hunt (Female frost dragon)
Translations:
-Siiv zu'u, roh – find me equal (balance)
-Fin hahnu? - the dream?
-Ahrk ful hi tinvaak hi dreh ni aaz fah ek, zeymah. - And yet (thus) you say you do not have (mercy) compassion for her, brother.
-joor – mortal
-mal dovahkiin – little dragonborn.
-Briinah – sister
-Aaz – mercy (compassion)
-Golah – stubborn
-Rek los – she is
-Mu nis dreh pogass - we cannot do much
-Zii and fo dovah – spirt/soul and frost dragon
-Zeymah – brother
-Geh – yes.
-Mir ahrk suleykaar – loyal and powerful
-Horvutah – captured
-Kriin – to slay/slaughter
-Siiv zu'u ronit - find me equal
-Mindok – thought/knowledge
-Kiir – child
-zu'u bo – I'm going!
-Ni! – no!
-Hahnu – dream/s
-ro los fin onik gein – he is the wise(r) one
-mal gein – little one
-dii fahdon – my friend
-Zu'u mindok hi lost ruth morah geinmaar - I know you have rage focus oneself (Lit. I know you have trouble expressing yourself)
-hi mindoraan? – you understand?
-dii Zeymah – my brother