Harvey
I walked across an empty land
I knew the pathway like the back of my hand
I felt the earth beneath my feet
Sat by the river, and it made me complete
It's Monday again, Harvey is sitting in his office with a McAllan in his right hand and the other one touching his lips... he has been feeling weird for the last couple of weeks... kind of empty; and that's unusual because he has everything someone would ever want. Or maybe not.
He is thinking... thinking about that time when 12 years ago, he was celebrating the winning of his first big case in the DA's office.
He was feeling so on top of the world. He was feeling complete. Powerful. Full of himself and with the idea of a bright future ahead. He was becoming one of the best lawyers in New York and nobody could change that. He was feeling like he had everything he ever wanted.
Until he saw her... that beautiful waitress, with a long red hair over her shoulders and some cute bangs over her face.
D: "You know when someone wins their first trial, they at least "pretend" to finish the drink their fellows ADAs bought them".
Oh my Goodness... there she was... about my age... beautiful... confident... I am not the type of man who believes in love at first sight but I am the type who recognizes beauty when he sees it, Harvey remembers.
H: "I am sorry, do we?"'
D: "Know each other?, Not yet! But today is your lucky day"
H: "And why is that?"
D: "Because is the day you get to meet Donna"
H: "And let me guess, you are Donna"
D: "Oh, you have no idea how Donna I am"
Can't believe it! I could kiss this woman right now and she can't even imagine!, he thought that time.
H: "Well Donna, I am Harvey..."
D: "Harvey Specter... you really think I'd be talking to you if I didn't know who you were?"
H: "How exactly do you know about me?"
Harvey was surprised. He had to admit it!
D: "I know about everybody. What I don't know is why this is the first case you ever took to trial?"
H: "Because it was a white collar crime! Not some drug dealer on a corner case, what makes it the kind of case..."
D: "That put your name on the paper!"
H: "You are not just a pretty face, are you?"
D: "No, I am not..."
That was a rhetorical question.. of course she wasn't just a pretty face! He knew it from the second she approached him.
Harvey smiled at the memory...
But there's also a sense of sadness when he remembered the moment he shared a drink with her and he wasn't brave enough to invite her for an actual date. She was clear when she mentioned her objective: working for him. But, why the hell he didn't listen to his heart. Why didn't he follow his gut? The physical attraction was so damn obvious. He just needed to ask her out and see what would happen next!
But no.. he let her go that night... deep inside hoping to see her again... to actually take her to his desk or... to something even better...
Oh, simple thing, where have you gone?
I'm getting old, and I need something to rely on
So tell me when you're gonna let me in
I'm getting tired, and I need somewhere to begin
12 years have passed since that night... 12 years after meeting her in that bar.
That bar has seen them all over the years, coming and going so many times; to celebrate a big win, to talk about life or just to make each other company on long and dark nights.
That is their place. Their special meaningful place where everything started. Not as fancy as Del Posto, where they used to celebrate their work anniversaries, but even more important for them.
I came across a fallen tree
I felt the branches of it looking at me
Is this the place we used to love?
Is this the place that I've been dreaming of?
It's getting late, he has to go home now.
He finishes his drink of one sip and gets up off his seat.
He grabs his coat and starts walking across the hallways.
A few steps later, he sees that the light in Donna's office is still on.
He stands in the entrance of her office and looks at her... she is typing, with a half empty glass of scotch by her side. She is so concentrated that she hasn't even noticed he is looking at her.
She looks so beautiful... They have been so close for more than a decade and she tends to look so breathtaking in an effortless manner; every dress she wears.. every pair of hills fit perfectly on her. Her stylish red hair that she is now putting behind her ear... He just smiles... and suddenly, she looks up and finds him... looking at her...
H: "Hey"
D: "Hey"
She has a beautiful soft smile on her lips.
H: "You are kind of a workaholic lately".
D: "I am Donna! If I want to keep that not just as a name but also a title, I have to be on top of everything"
She adds a cocky smile to her answer.
Harvey nods.
H: "Can I join you on that drink?"
She doubts for a minute and say:
D: "What do you say if instead of having drinks here, we go out?"
H: "Good for me. I will wait for you in the lobby. Ray is already there"
She nodes.
Harvey walks to the elevator with a mischievous smile. He has to accept that going out for a couple of drinks with Donna, always cheers him up.
She is like his balm during rough times. Sometimes maybe she doesn't even notice it but he finds relief in her.
It's so weird, he has had many relationships in the past, but he has never had this complicity and connection with anybody else, not even with Paula, who was also his therapist some time ago.
So many complex feelings that he is not ready to face... at least not tonight.
Oh, simple thing, where have you gone?
I'm getting old, and I need something to rely on
So tell me when you're gonna let me in
I'm getting tired, and I need somewhere to begin
She appears at the lobby and Harvey is there waiting for her. He receives her with a tender smile.
Truth is, the idea of spending a couple of hours with her out of the office, makes him happy and gives him peace in the middle of his chaotic life.
She just smiles back and meets him a couple of steps later.
H: "Same place as always?"
Referring to the bar where they met 12 years ago.
D: "It's fine for me"
And both walk to his car.
She interjects her arm to his... an old habit between them. And adds:
D: "Drinks are on you tonight, pretty".
Both laugh at the comment.
And if you have a minute, why don't we go
Talk about it somewhere only we know?
This could be the end of everything
So why don't we go
Somewhere only we know?
They arrived at their usual bar and started drinking some Scotch.
One drink leads to another and suddenly they are feeling drunk and everything they say is 10 times funnier than usual.
They are making jokes about Louis and the random things that he likes. Cat, muds, prunies.
Suddenly it hits him... they complement each other on so many levels. As co-workers and of course as 12 years best friends... with her, he feels utter! They have ALMOST everything but maybe it is time to give the next step and look for something more... but he is scared. To hurt her at any point... to get hurt. He has been emotionally unavailable for so long, that right now he doesn't know how to act.
It's so funny, he thinks, the great Harvey Specter not knowing what to do with his personal life and not being able to deal with his own emotions.
But suddenly, after like the 6th drink, she said:
D: "I love you Harvey, and not just a friend or a 12 years partner".
He is surprised. He didn't see this coming.
He is feeling a little overwhelmed with the revelation but looks directly at her eyes and then at her lips and he feels the urge to kiss her... to taste her red and soft lips that captivate him every time she talks. So, he leans on and places his lips over hers... and the kiss began... soft and calm. There's no rush... there's no pressure.. it's just they, together at the bar.
He loves the feeling of having her lips over his... but he is confused. He feels a lot of things inside. He is nervous, he is excited. He could kiss her for an eternity, but, does that mean that he is in love with her? Or what? He can't tell right now, he is too busy enjoying her lips rather than properly thinking. Especially with all of the amounts of alcohol running through his veins.
Suddenly she breaks the kiss. Harvey is puzzled and looks at her.
She is confused too but adds:
D: "This is not good Harvey, I should go".
She grabs her purse and runs out the bar.
He is speechless. What the hell just happened?!, he thinks.
He asked for the check and paid for the drinks.
He took a cab to his apartment, still feeling a little concerned for what had happened moments ago.
But something is true, he doesn't regret it. Maybe he crossed that blurry line that has always existed between them but he feels freed after doing it.
She was her assistant for over a decade, now she is more like a colleague or a partner as COO of the firm, they have grown together over the years in many ways. They have been each other's support.
For good or for bad, what it's done, it's done.
The cab arrives at his building, he goes out and stays outside of the building for a couple of minutes to smoke a cigarette. He needs to clear his mind.
Later, he went to his apartment, so big and so empty... for someone that has it all, not being able to share it with someone is kind of frustrating sometimes.
He takes a shower and immediately feels the urge to call her, to check if she is ok... he grabs his phone and dialed her number, but, he feels fear, he isn't sure how she is feeling, maybe she needs some space, at the end, he also needs some time to think everything that has happened.
He went to bed but couldn't sleep. He is feeling like there's a missing piece on the puzzle of his life. And suddenly he realized that he needs her! He needs her in his life in more than a friend's or co-workers way.
Deep down for years he knows he has been in love with her but he couldn't access it, until now. Until this autumnal Monday night, and it's ready to let her now.
It's almost 3:00am when he fell asleep. He was nervous. He couldn't wait to see her in the morning and address what happened hours before.
He wakes up at 6:00am, he is feeling a little hangover. Drinking until midnight is not the same after the 30s he said to himself.! And quickly gets dressed and leaves the apartment.
He is determined to meet Donna at her place before going to the firm, he wants to make her feel that everything is ok between them and that their lives are about to change.
He stops by a Cafe and orders two large blacks coffees with 2 sugars each and a splash of vanilla. He is sure that Donna is going to appreciate the gesture after their night out.
It's just 7:00am when he reaches her apartment.
He knocks the door and a couple of minutes later, there she is... barefoot, no makeup on but still looking like the most beautiful woman he has ever seen.
D: "Harvey?! What are you doing here?!"
She is extremely surprised to find him there.
H: "Donna?" He said smiling.
H: "I brought you this"
And hands her a big cup of coffee with a subtle smell to vanilla.
H: "I think after the drinks we had last night, you might need it".
She smiles. He is sure he liked the gesture. He isn't as good as her reading people but he knows her.
D: "Thanks, Harvey" She replies with a shy smile.
D: "Do you want to come in?" She adds.
H: "No, Donna. I will come back later. Maybe tonight if you let me".
She is confused. She looks really confused.
He just smiled again and says softly to her:
H: "And for the record, I love you too. And you look beautiful right now".
He is ready to acknowledge his real feelings for her. It has been 12 years of complicity and unconditional company. 12 years by his side. 12 years of ocasional flirting, long nights at the office and drinks from time to time.
He has been in love with her for so long, that now, he doesn't want to lose any more time.
But the door of her apartment is not the right place to talk about something as pure as their feelings, so he just leans to kiss her on the cheek and leaves.
Donna is blushed and stumbling.
She doesn't know what to say or what to think.
He walks over the corridor with a big smile on his lips. He is counting the hours to finally properly confess his feelings to her.
Maybe this time was a good idea to take the risk... maybe now is their turn to have their long lasting story..
Maybe... just maybe... their happy ending Is coming to meet them now.
Oh, simple thing, where have you gone?
I'm getting old, and I need something to rely on
So tell me when you're gonna let me in
I'm getting tired, and I need somewhere to begin
And if you have a minute, why don't we go
Talk about it somewhere only we know?
This could be the end of everything
So why don't we go?
So why don't we go?
This could be the end of everything
So why don't we go
Somewhere only we know
Somewhere only we know
Somewhere only we know?