John Phoenix decided to take a well deserved break from being a fukking epic boss, so he went on an airplane and went to Mexico.
The second he entered Mexico he saw a street trial taking place in the road!
"Ahhhhh, noooo! Don't prosecutute me!" a beautiful young womin wit incandescent black hare cried.
"Hahaha, Phil the Prosecutor never loses a trile," said some guy in a suit. He took out a knife and was about to give her a Guilty verdict right in the gut but there was a gunshoot! The knife flew out of Phil's hand and landed in a bird and killed it.
"What the fukk?" Prosecutor Phil said. Everyone looked and saw that the gun guy was none other than CARLOS VAMONOS the hero of mexico!
"Leave the fraulien alone, murderer scum," Carlos Vamonos said. "I'm giving you 20 seconds to explain why I shouldn't put a bullet in your murderous brain right now." But the man was already dead cuz Carlos Vamonos had already killed him in 1 seconds.
"Nice work, Carlos Vamonos," John Phoenix said. "I see you're a very intelligint and logical person. You must be my cousin."
"Yes John Phoenix we are related and also defense attorneys. Now let us team up and investigate this terrible crime." So they went over to the dead guy in search of clues.
Carlos Vamonos found a prosecutor's badge on the victim. He sniffed it. "Hmmm just as I expect," the hero of mexico said. "This DNA is from Bad Judge."
"Who is this Bad Judge, Carlos Vamonos?"
"Well, you see, John Phoenix, my country was recentlly takin over by cruel tyrant called Bad Judge. He's called that because he is an evil judge. Basically he keeps giving prosecutor badges back to disbarred prosecutors and letting them run wilds in the streats. I know its him doing it cuz I keep finding his DNA on the dead bodies of the people I kill. He must be the real murderer."
"How dare this man corrupt justice?" John Phoenix said. "Come, Carlos Vamonos, let's team up and stop this madman." So they went around killing all the evil prosecutors. In the end they killed about 1 million people.
"Alright, we got enough DNA to make our case now," said Carlos Vamonos. "Lets go arrest Bad Judge."
John Phoenix and Carlos Vamonos the hero of mexico went to Bad Judge's house.
"Bad Judge you are under arrest for crimes" said Carlos Vamonos. "We found your DNA on the people you killed."
"Carlos Vamonos, you've fallen right into my trap!" say Bad Judge. "I replaced my DNA with yours so actually your guilty now die"
Bad Judge took out gun and shoot Carlos Vamonos the hero of mexico!
"Carlos Vamonos, no!" cried John Phoenix.
"Your next" said Bad Judge and he shoot gun. Time seemed to slow down. John Phoenix jumped high and kicked the bullet back into the gun!
"Noooo I missed" said Bad Judge. "Ha no matter you gave me my bullet back now me shoot again!"
But John Phoenix jsut smirked.
"Stop smirking shithead"
"Sorry, Bad Judge, but I just find it incredbily ironic. Your death, that is."
"My death?" Bad Judge luaghed. "My boy, you amuse me with your retartation. You're the one facing death."
"Hmph, cofident are we? How about a little wager, Bad Judge? I bet all the money you own that you'll be killed in the next 2 seconds."
"Okay I accept that wager. After all it's impossible that I will be killed in 2 seconds. 1 seconds has already passed."
But just then the dead bird from earlier fell down the chimmney and went into Bad Judge's mouth and got swallowed. The knife in the dead bird's body cut open Bad Judge's stomach open and made all the gold fall out. Bad Judge died because he was a monster and without gold he lost his power and died. All according to plan.
"Nice work John Phoenix" said Carlos Vamonos later in the hopsital. "It seems like your prohpechy came true. What are you going to do with the money you won in your bet?"
"Money is truly worthless to a being of my greatness," John Phoenix replied. "When I want something, people just give it to me. If they don't, I take it by force."
"Ja, you are vary smart mien friend" the Carlos Vamonos the hero of mexico. "How about giving the money to the orpanage? I here they need a new roof."
"That would be teaching the children to be greedy. They should be sastified with their lot in life. To teach people not be selfish, I put all the money in a pile on the street and I rigged it with bombs. Anyone who touches it will die. Most likely many selfish people will die."
And that's how John Phoenix and his cousin Carlos Vamonos the hero of mexico saved the world yet again
DA END