A/N: This story contained genderbent johnlock! Sherlock is Sherly and John is Jen. I found this fic while cleaning my apartment, it was never typed or posted anywhere. It was written probably in either 2012 or 2013, and it was cowritten by an old friend of mine, OtakuFangirlCrazyArtist. I hope you enjoy it.

Comfort in the Present

Sherly pushed Jen back into the wall, pressing her lips to Jen's in a gentler manner than the previous motion had suggested. Jen slipped her arms around Sherly's waist, holding her there. It was probably only a couple of minutes before Lestrade would call upon them to ask about their part in the explosion, but right now they were a bit too consumed with each other. Near death experiences tended to have that effect.

They broke apart for air after a few minutes. Sherly rested their foreheads together, her eyes closed. She concentrated on the sound of Jen's breath and her scent: tea and clean bedsheets mixed with chlorine and fear. Jen watched Sherly's face, memorizing the details she had never noticed before.

Jen's fingers had knotted themselves in Sherly's jacket, holding them together. She had thought that if Sherly died, it would be easy to move on, but this - this had been a near death experience – and she had been so afraid that the consulting detective was never going to be able to hold her again. Jen was shaking slightly and, unbeknownst to her, a single tear slid down her cheek.

Sherly wiped the tear away gently, sliding her finger over Jen's skin. Then she wrapped her arms around the shaking woman and pressed her lips to the blonde hair that smelled faintly of tea.

"It's alright…" she murmured.

Jen gave a nod, still clinging to the consulting detective. She would have closed her eyes, but she knew that the scene from the pool would be staring at her from the back of her eyelids. Instead, Jen kept them open and leaned against Sherly, inhaling her scent deeply as if to reassure herself that Sherly was still alive. "I love you, Sherly…" she whispered.

"I love you, too," Sherly murmured. Jen nodded again and buried her face against Sherly's shoulder. The detective held her patiently and waited for her shaking to subside.

Jen slowly calmed down and came to lean heavily on Sherly, completely exhausted from the stress overload.

Sherly disengaged her arms from around Jen and led the exhausted doctor to her bedroom. As Jen had expected, Sherly's room was a mess, but at that moment she couldn't have cared less.

Jen made sure to keep at least one hand on Sherly, so she didn't get left behind. Sherly took off her jacket and scarf and helped Jen out of hers. They took off their shoes and Sherly led them to the bed, carefully picking her way across the messy floor. She let Jen lie down first, but the former army doctor quickly pulled Sherly down next to her, not wanting to be alone for even a moment.

Sherly let herself be pulled and immediately opened her arms to Jen, who was already halfway wrapped in them. The two women held each other tightly in silence for a few minutes. Sherly closed her eyes and instead of seeing the blackness of her lids, Jen's bomb-covered figure appeared before her. She snapped her eyes open, breathing quickly.

Jen, who had known better than to close her eyes, looked up at Sherly. She tightened her arms around the consulting detective to remind her that she was still here.

Sherly took a deep breath and tightened her arms around the doctor. She buried her face in Jen's short, soft blonde hair. The smell that she had come to associate with home (a formerly foreign concept) filled her nose and she slowly calmed down.

Jen kept her arm around Sherly's waist and gladly let her do what she wanted. Right now, the doctor was just happy to be back in bed and relatively safe for now.

Sherly sighed but kept her eyes open, trying not to think about the pool or bombs or Jim Moriarty from IT. She concentrated only on Jen: the smell of her hair, the warmth of her arms around Sherly's waist, the security and peace of mind she brought to the detective.

From Jen's position on Sherly's shoulder she could faintly hear the detective's heartbeat. It was comforting to know that she was still there, even though she was quite warm. It was making her sleepy.

Sherly held onto Jen's warm weight and stared at the opposite wall blankly, completely convinced that she'd never sleep again. That wouldn't be so bad, she reflected. Sleeping was terribly dull, and without it, she would have so many more hours in the day to work on cases.

Jen's eyelids drooped and she settled closer to Sherly, murmuring something unintelligible. Soon she fell into a dreamless sleep, although it wouldn't stay that way for long.

Sherly listened to Jen's breathing as she slept, and she knew she should sleep as well, but it was impossible. Various bruises and cuts from the explosion were beginning to ache, but Sherly ignored them. She kept staring at the wall, almost unblinkingly.

Jen, shifted closer, murmuring. A dream had started, and it wasn't a particularly good one. She was running through a seemingly endless road until they met Jim in front of a crumbling building. She whimpered, curling up further. She didn't wake when Sherly held her closer and tried to comfort her. Jim leered at her and she shivered again. She tried to turn around, tried to run from him, but something in his eyes kept her rooted to the spot. In her dream, Jen turned to Sherly, to ask her what to do, to try and find some reassurance in those grey-green eyes, but the consulting detective was gone. Jen looked back to Jim and noticed the body that lay behind him. It was Sherly's. Jen shuddered in horror as she took in Sherly's still form – limbs bent at awkward angles, blood pooling around her head. A movement caught her eye and she looked at Jim, saw him raise a gun. There was a familiar crack, and Jen snapped awake, gasping.

Sherly was watching her with a knowing expression. "Try to stay awake…" she murmured, stroking Jen's spine. She kissed Jen's forehead, trying to calm the shaking woman.

After a few minutes, when she was calmer, Jen said, "We'll have to sleep sometime."

Sherly sighed softly. Jen shifted so she was half on top of Sherly. She buried her face in Sherly's neck, breathing her scent in deeply. She didn't close her eyes, but it relaxed her some. Sherly took Jen's hair down from its unruly ponytail and carefully began stroking through it. Jen's muscles slowly lost some of their tension as Sherly worked knots out of her hair. She focused on the feeling of the long, dexterous fingers touching her scalp and the scent filling her nostrils.

Jen kissed Sherly's neck lightly in thanks as she slowly relaxed. It was a struggle to keep her eyes open, but the thought of what she would see if she did close them was enough to keep them open.

"Maybe we should get up," Sherly suggested quietly.

"And do what?" Jen asked. She couldn't see the point when while lying here she could hold onto Sherly for reassurance.

"Get cleaned up, call Lestrade."

Jen signed softly. "Alright… I could use a shower…" But, despite her words, she made no move to get up.

Sherly nodded. "You can go first then. I'll call Lestrade."

Reluctantly, Jen nodded. She kissed Sherly once, lingering, before she got up and left to shower. Sherly watched her leave, then reached for her phone. She waited until the water started running before she dialed Lestrade. It rang three times before he picked up.

"Sherly," he greeted her, "I was about to ring you. There's been an explosion and I thought you'd like to look into it."

"Yes, I know, I was there," she sounded bored.

Lestrade sighed. "I should have guessed. You know that was public property, you could be arrested for this."

"It was self-defense. Moriarty would have killed Jen and me if I hadn't shot the bomb. Which Jen had been wearing shortly before."

"You could have defended yourself without blowing the place up!"

Sherly huffed. "If you were so against it, you and your team would have been there."

"You didn't tell me you would need help."

Sherly frowned. "I would have thought you were keeping an eye on things, since we had one pip left."

"This was your case, Sherly. I know I gave it to you, but it's between you and the bomber."

"Right. Until more innocent people are killed."

"It's not my fault you found someone who could out smart you."

Sherly took a minute to compose herself before answering. "He didn't outsmart me."

"No, okay. Maybe not. But he certainly found your weak spot."

"You don't need to tell me that." Sherly was already painfully aware that Moriarty knew he could use Jen against her.

The sound of sirens blared through Sherly's phone and Lestrade said over them, "I need to get this cleaned up. I'll call you if we find anything."

"Thank you." Sherly rung off and dropped the phone carelessly onto the bed. She lay back and closed her eyes listening to the shower running on the other side of the wall.

Jen was methodically scrubbing the smell of chlorine from her skin and hair. She wanted to forget about having been at the pool and strapped to a bomb. She wanted to forget about how Jim had pointed his gun at Sherly with his finger on the trigger, prepared to shoot her without a second thought. Jen knew that he would have done it, too. Swearing, she scrubbed harder, not wanted to think of it ever again.

When the smell of chlorine was gone from her skin and it had been rubbed raw by her scrubbing, Jen turned the water off and stepped out of the shower. She dried off and emerged from the bathroom wrapped in a towel. She slipped back to the bedroom and spotted Sherly lying on the bed. "Your turn," Jen said, jolting Sherly from her thoughts.

"Right," Sherly said sitting up, not failing to notice the redness of Jen's skin. She frowned a bit but let her silence convey her understanding.

Sherly got out of bed and headed towards the bathroom, kissing Jen's cheek as she went. She walked to the bathroom and ran the water while she stripped out of her dirty clothes. Leaving them in a rumpled heap on the floor, Sherly stepped under the luke-warm spray.

Jen listened for a moment before going over to the bureau and changing into her pyjamas; she didn't feel like doing much else today.

Sherly showered quickly and re-entered the bedroom, having run out of hot water. She pulled on her own pyjamas and looked up to find Jen watching her. "What?" Sherly asked.

She shrugged. "I dunno… I just thought you would actually be doing things today, is all."

"I hadn't intended to, but we can if you like." Sherly replied. Jen shrugged.

"I hadn't really wanted to do anything."

"Then we won't do anything." Sherly sat on the bed beside Jen and slipped an arm around the doctor's waist. Jen leaned over and rested her head on Sherly's shoulder.

Sherly kissed the top of Jen's head and pulled her close. They stayed that way until there was a knock on the door.

Jen stiffened almost imperceptibly and Sherly rubbed her back gently. "It's probably just Mycroft, we can ignore him…"

"He's your brother; we should at least let him know we're all right."

"I have no doubt that he already does."

"Maybe he just wants to talk to you."

"Hmph. That doesn't mean I want to talk to him."

Jen sighed softly. "Okay… but you'll have to talk to him sooner or later."

"Hm," Sherly responded disdainfully. Jen shook her head. "What?" Sherly asked, a bit irritated.

"I just think your brother cares for you, and you shouldn't shut him out."

"He cares about knowing my business so he can have control over me, not because he particularly cares about my well-being."

Jen's frown deepened. "I think that's his way of showing that he cares."

"How do you mean?"

"He feels like he has to control everything, but the fact that he pays extra attention to you shows how much he cares."

Sherly frowned. "Mycroft doesn't care about anyone but himself."

"He cares about his husband and kids, why can't he care about you?"

"If he actually cared, he would learn to trust me, which he hasn't."

"Maybe if you stopped fighting him, he would trust you more."

Sherly scoffed. "I'll stop fighting with him when he stops fighting with me."

Jen's frown deepened again. "He tries to help you."

Sherly pressed her lips together. "He doesn't care that I don't want to be who he wants me to be."

"What do you mean?"

"He wants me to help him with his tedious government work. He only wants to use me to advance his career and solve things that he's too stupid to."

Jen sighed. "Are you sure he just doesn't want your help because he misses you? Or maybe because he won't pay our bills forever, so you need a real job?"

"That doesn't make it all right! I'm not someone who can go get a regular job and keep it, but Mycroft is trying to change that!"

"Is that so bad?"

"Yes! I'm sick of him trying to change me."

Jen sighed and fell silent. She knew where Mycroft was coming from, and even agreed with him on some level but she didn't need Sherly to be angry with her, too.

Sherly sighed after half a minute of silence. "I'm sorry. I'm angry with him, not you."

"It's all right."

Sherly wrapped her arms around Jen and held her close. The last thing she wanted was to upset the doctor; Jen was one of two people in the world who had never forced her to be someone she wasn't. Jen rested her head on Sherly's shoulder and allowed herself to be held, grateful that the subject had been dropped. She didn't want to fight with Sherly any more than she wanted Sherly to accuse her of something that wasn't true.

Sherly held on tightly and buried her face in Jen's hair, breathing in the familiar scent of her shampoo. It was comforting, and she knew that all she needed was to spend the next few days allowing herself to be comforted by it.

Jen closed her eyes and focused on Sherly's presence enjoying the warmth she provided. Sherly stroked through Jen's hair and relaxed when the doctor nuzzled her. They held each other for a while until Jen's stomach grumbled. Sherly laughed softly and kissed her temple. "Hungry?" Jen nodded. "What would you like?"

"Hmm… I dunno. What do we have?"

"You're the one who does the shopping."

"I don't remember what I bought last time."

Sherly laughed softly. "Then maybe we should go look."

"Do we have to get up to do that?" Jen asked, pouting a little.

"Of course we do."

Jen sighed dramatically, "If we must."

Sherly nodded and stood, helping Jen up. They walked to the kitchen, Jen keeping close to Sherly for comfort. Sherly opened the fridge and looked inside taking a quick inventory of the food that was there.

"Well… I suppose we could have pasta."

Jen nodded. "Pasta is fine." Sherly got out the container of leftover spaghetti and put it in the microwave. She waited for it to heat, one arm still around Jen.

Jen listened to the whir of the microwave as she leaned on Sherly, comfortable although she would have preferred to be sitting. When the microwave dinged, Sherly took out the food and served it onto two plates.

She led Jen to the living room and sat on the couch. Jen sat next to her, reaching over to grab the remote. She flicked on the telly and began flipping through the channels settling on something she knew Sherly could tolerate. She set the remote aside again and settled back against Sherly.

Sherly finished eating and then set her empty plate aside and wrapped both arms around Jen's waist gentle. Jen rested her head on Sherly's shoulder as she finished her food. The banal noise of the telly provided only a tiny annoyance to Sherly, but she was more focused on Jen's presence. She was engrossed in memorizing the smell of Jen's hair, and the warmth that radiated from her skin. Jen lay her legs across Sherly's, allowing herself to relax and letting her mind wander while watching the telly.

She was warm and comfortable, nestled against Sherly. Jen reflected that she could stay here forever. They were both alive and in one piece, somehow. It made her realize just how important Sherly had become to her. She didn't know what she would do if the consulting detective died, and it was something she hoped she would never have to figure out. She tightened her arms around Sherly who rubbed the doctor's back gently. "It's all right…" Jen nodded in response and took a deep breath.

Sherly's phone buzzed in her pocket and she scowled in annoyance. The detective shifted and pulled out the offending device, glaring as she opened the text.

Are you alright? Will deploy SWAT team if you don't reply in 15 minutes. – MH

Stubbornly, Sherly put her phone aside, but she knew that Mycroft probably would deploy SWAT if she didn't reply, so the consulting detective picked up her phone and composed a short reply.

Yes. – SH

Jen looked over Sherly's shoulder and read her correspondence. She signed internally. It made her sad, that Sherly continually pushed her brother away. Jen understood that siblings didn't get along all the time from experience. She wasn't always happy with Harry either, but at the same time her sister had been and currently was one of the most important people in her life. Jen didn't understand why Sherly didn't feel the same way when Mycroft clearly saw Sherly as being that important.

Sherly watched Jen think and drew conclusions about what was going through the doctor's head from the expression on her face. After a few minutes Sherly accused, "You think I should care about Mycroft more."

"I never said that," Jen replied, not wanting to fight.

The consulting detective scowled. "You didn't have to say it."

Jen sighed, "He tries, you know."

Sherly shook her head. "He meddles where he isn't wanted."

"Don't you do the same thing?"

"What do you mean?"

"On your cases. You find out people's business when they don't want you to."

"That's different," Sherly replied indignantly.

"No, it's really the same thing, you only think it's different because you don't know them."

"It's necessary for my cases."

"And maybe Mycroft feels it's necessary so that he knows you're okay."

"He could find less irritating ways to do it."

"Like what?"

Sherly scowled. "I don't know. Ask him."

Jen sighed. She could tell Sherly was annoyed now, which was the last thing she had wanted. Jen got up and went to make tea, so she didn't have to sit there and argue with Sherly anymore. The detective stayed on the couch with her arms crossed, sulking because Jen wouldn't agree with her. Sherly knew it was childish, but at the moment she didn't care.

Sherly watched as Jen made a cup of tea. She sat down in her chair with her cup, leaning back and letting it steep for a quiet minute. Sherly sighed to herself and stood, walking to the kitchen for her own cup of tea. She kissed the top of Jen's head in lieu of an apology as she walked by. Jen watched her go, cradling the cup of tea in her hands. She was unsure if she was entirely forgiven, but knew it was a promising start.

Sherly returned and sat on the arm of Jen's chair, leaning her shoulder against Jen's. The doctor smiled hesitantly and Sherly gave a small smile back. Jen tugged on Sherly's arm and the consulting detective moved into her lap.

"I'm sorry…" Jen murmured.

Sherly shook her head and pressed a small kiss to Jen's neck. "It's fine. I can't expect you to share my loathing of Mycroft."

Jen gave a small nod, wrapping her arms around the consulting detective. Sherly let out a soft exhale that could've been taken as a sigh of relief. She didn't like fighting with Jen. The doctor kissed the top of her head and Sherly made a small hum of approval in response. She kissed Jen's cheek softly, making sure the doctor knew she was forgiven.

Jen gave a small smile, happy that they were on good terms again. Sherly returned it, glad that they were both safe, and hoped they never had to go through something like the pool again.

Little did they know of the fall to come…