"English isn't my native language, sorry for grammar mistakes"
They lay next each other; Ragun's back facing Dorian's side. The room was lit by the moon light through the window and the burning wood that was fighting to warm the coldness that was seeping through the stone walls.
Dorian was restless that night. Thinking and thinking but didn't know how to stop it. 'This is ridiculous!' he thought. Dawn was close, two hours maybe three at most until they had to wake up and start their day.
"What's wrong Dorian?" Ragun said. Voice sleepy but concerned and you could almost feel it.
Dorian's thoughts were cut and he blamed himself for waking Ragun. The man definitely needed the sleep. He was deprived from many things and surly had to rest to be able to continue his long day.
"Sorry that I woke you. I'll go sleep in my quarters." And he began to remove the sheets to get up but Ragun held his wrist before he was able to and looked at him in a gently.
"You walking out of that door isn't going to help me getting back to sleep. What is it Dorian? We promised each other." And he Looked into Dorian's eyes and found uneasiness. Ragun pulled him to lie in bed again and hugged his side, putting his left leg on Dorian's stomach and left hand on his chest. "Come on Vhenan, what troubles you trouble me too." Said with an understanding smile and tone that told Dorian to take the time he needed.
"I'm not sure if what I'm doing is right." Dorian shook his head. Now that got Ragun's attention. He moved to rest on his right elbow and looked at Dorian. "What do you mean?" He asked with concern.
Dorian hesitated but looked at him with what Ragun knew to be fear in his vhenan's eyes but was quickly covered. "T…this relationship… Am I treating you right? Is there something that I have to do? How could I …"
Right there, Ragun's finger silenced Dorian's talking and looked at him with a gentle smile and bent his head to put a loving kiss on his lips. Both of them closing their eyes and getting lost in the sensation of being loved by the other person.
Separating too soon but Ragun had to say those words, Dorian had to hear them. "We promised each other to be honest and open about anything that comes into our minds or ways for us to work and I respect that." Dorian's eyes were vulnerable. He loved Ragun. By the maker he loved that man so much it hurt, but was afraid. Ragun was his first true relationship and he wanted more. He always did but before Ragun, all of them just wanted the physical part and nothing more. Leaving too soon and not meeting ever again.
Although it hurt but Dorian got used to it, that is how his country worked. But when Ragun said that he wanted more was like iced water was thrown in his face. He didn't hide it perfectly but when he got alone to himself, he was shaking inside as a little boy and almost cried that night.
"I'm not asking you to do anything Dorian." Ragun smiled with love pouring out from his eyes. "Just be yourself. Do what you always do. Do what you feel, I'm not asking you to change." With a hand caressing his cheek, Ragun rested his head on Dorian's and closed his eyes. "I love you Vhenan. You're a blessing to me and I'm grateful for every second I have with you."
Dorian closed his eyes and held Ragun's wrist gently as if trying to hold his emotions that were overflowing at the moment. "Amatus…" He said and closed his eyes tighter.
"We promised each other to always tell the truth even if it hurt, but we want us to work and be happy with what we have. We don't have to keep on hiding little things each time because one time one of us is going to blow up and hurt the other one badly."
Ragun finished and opened his eyes looking lovingly at Dorian waiting for him to open his eyes. Upon opening his eyes, Ragun smiled at him and caressed his cheek with his thumb. Dorian moved his hand to pull Ragun's head to kiss him in a loving yet gentle way. After the kiss, Ragun rested his head on Dorian's shoulder and they both slept holding each other and Dorian hiding his face in Ragun's hair, smelling his unique scent.