Chapter One: Pain's Gauntlet
It was two days before the race, and Idate was still waiting on that ninja who were supposed to be guarding him. The idiot Leaf Ninja were probably taking their sweet time getting here anyway. The morning sun was rising slower today, or maybe that was just in his head.
For now, he was lying in the branches of a tree, legs crossed and waiting. He liked lying on his back, between running. It gave him time to think. Of course, all he could think about at the moment were the ninja being sent to guard him.
If these ninja didn't show up, Idate would probably have to dodge the enemy ninja on his own. He was pretty fast, but that could be trouble. And what if they did arrive? Was it possible his brother would be there? No, that was not going to happen.
Definitely not.
And then, out of the shadows emerged two people. One was a tall, orange-haired man with strange rippling eyes. He had all kinds of piercings on his face and was clad in a black robe with red clouds on it. Alongside him was a beautiful woman with blue hair and a face like porcelain.
"Idate, is it?" asked the man, voice deep.
Idate shuddered at the voice and fell out of the tree, only narrowly catching himself as he landed. His lips let out a shout despite himself. "Who are you?"
"I have been employed by your master, Jiricho Wasabi, to ensure you win this race," said Pain. "My organization is known as the Akatsuki."
Idate scrambled backward in shock. What were hardcore badasses like the Akatsuki doing here? "Wait, hang on, those guys were supposed to be Leaf Ninja! How did... uh, no offense, but how did someone like you end up in the Leaf."
"We didn't." said the man. "Instead, we undercut their prices, offering the services of an S Ranked rogue ninja." He closed his eyes. "For prices comparable to their genin. Apparently, the Leaf is sending genin anyway; however, this matter will be concluded by the end of it."
"How is that a feasible investment?" asked Idate. "I mean... you could be doing higher ranked jobs."
"We are far more efficient." said the man. "Also we are desperate and need the money. Now, what are the rules of this contest."
"Alright, um... okay," said Idate, standing up. The old man sure did know how to pull a fast one. "So, both contestants start at the finish line and run for the boats. Once they get there, we'll have to race. But both teams will be employing ninja to stop the other."
"I see." said the man. Didn't the woman ever talk? "Is there any particular reason I couldn't simply the enemy races on the starting line?"
Idate flinched at how matter of factly he said that. "...Well, um, the other gang will probably use it as justification to call the contest invalid. You see, we're not officially sending ninja after one another."
"Then this is all illegal." noted the man. "Was this not meant to be a public event?"
"...Yes, it's illegal," said Idate, feeling more and more like an ant, "but everyone knows its happening."
The man did not reply. Instead, he merely turned to the woman. "Konan, pull up all the information we have on the Wagarashi gang leadership. Get in contact with Kakazu and tell him to appraise the overall worth of this town. I want him to estimate how many victories will cost and make. Also, I want to know what kind of ninja they will be hiring for this.
"I want them all assassinated on the day of the race."
"What?!" said Idate.
"If the Wagarashi Clan are all dead, you will win by default." said the man.
"But... but that'll completely escalate the situation! It'll be a civil war!" said Idate.
"There will soon be no one to escalate against." replied the man.
"Who do you think you are?" said Idate. "You can't just..." Idate realized that he was a trained genin arguing against an S ranked ninja.
"I am God." replied the man. "And this filler mission... will know pain."
"Pain, we ought to ensure that the pretense of a civilized ceremony remains," said Konan.
Wait, his name was Pain? Seriously? "And what would you suggest, Konan?" asked Pain.
"Maybe we could have both Gang Leaders swear an oath not to use any ninja," said Konan. "Also, we may kill everyone in the Wagarashi family except for the leader and his racer.
"That will maintain the pretense of a race while rendering the race moot."
"That should suffice," said Pain. "If all goes well, the matter will be concluded before the day is out."
It was a shrine of some importance within the village. Jirichi Wasabi and his nemesis, Kyuroku Wagarashi came forward in their best garb. This was all for appearance's sake and had been suggested by Idate. Pretense mattered
Before them came the priest, though he was a lot younger than expected, with white hair and a scythe. "Jiricho Wasabi, Kyuroku Wagarashi, you have come here to renew your oaths by this shrine. Do... uh... geeze this script is weak. Who wrote this dialogue, it's like something out of a Saturday mourning cartoon."
Wait, was this priest new?
"Just say the damn thing!" snapped someone behind the screen door. "Idiot."
"Fine, fine," said the priest, "Do you renounce all cheating within the context of this race?"
"We do denounce them." They said.
Team Oboro were in the last stages of their plan. But, of course, Larry had to stop and get a donut-like he always did. There was a really long line, and now he was walking out of the shop slowly.
"Come on, we've got to get ahead if we're going to wipe out the enemy racer!" snapped one of them.
"I'm coming, just let me enjoy it," said Larry.
The team bustled toward the edge of the mall and headed through the revolving doors. As they did, however, a beautiful blue-haired woman locked the door in place. Without a word, she put an explosive tag on the door.
They had just enough time to scream before they were obliterated.
Back with the priest, the gang leaders were starting to feel a bit guilty.
"Do you renounce Kaguya and all her works?" asked the priest.
"We do denounce them." They said in practiced unison. Almost as if they were wholly interchangeable with no defining characteristics.
A large number of Wagarashi members were making their way down the steps of their dojo. As they did, however, they came face to face with a beautiful, blue-haired woman. Something about her spooked some of them, and two made a run for it.
She hurled her explosive tag with practiced precision.
A flash of light later, it was all over.
Across the city, the bodies began to pile up. Every single one of them was part of the Wagarashi Clan.
"Do you swear to act in the name of Jashin with all you do, say, and believe?" finished the priest.
This was...
What was going on here? "Who the hell is Jashin?"
As soon as they asked that question, the priest smiled. Then he put his scythe to Jiricho's neck. "You're looking at his messenger. The name's Hidan."
Then they noticed the slight bloodstained on the shrine beyond. And out of the shadows emerged Pain. He was carrying a body bag. "They're dead. All of them."
"What?" said Wagarashi.
Pain set down the bag and opened it before the man, who collapsed at what he saw. Dozens upon dozens of heads, freshly decapitated. "These are the heads of your lieutenants and hired ninja, are they not?"
"You..." Wagarashi stared in horror.
"You've all lied on sacred ground," said Pain. "Even as you employed us to ensure your petty power plays remained effective.
"No matter. I am not here to pass judgment. Merely to do a job."
"Who... who are you?" said Wagarashi.
"I am Pain." And then he looked toward Jirichi without expression. "Now, consider the ease with which I dispatched with these scum. And consider what you would like to pay for protection against such... eventualities in the future.
"How much?"
Jirichi had gotten more than he bargained for. A lot more. "...I uh... I need to get my checkbook."
"And I will take all the accumulated wealth of the Wagarashi Clan," said Pain.
"What about the race?" said Jirichi. "It's a public event. I can't just tell everyone I murdered the entire clan. You, I mean that you murdered the entire clan. I hired you to provide security up until the end of the race!"
"And I have," said Pain. "The race may continue as scheduled. The Wagarashi clan still exists, in its head, and in its fastest racer. So things may continue as scheduled.
"Now, you will honor our contract and pay me my afforded due."
"Yes sir," said Jirichi in a small voice.
It was a beautiful day and the sea air came fresh and cool behind Team 7's sails. As the water flowed out beneath them, Naruto Uzumaki looked at his reflection on the water. A moment later it was gone, but his good mood didn't end.
Overall, things had been pretty darn good for Naruto.
When they'd gotten assigned to guard Idate Morino, Naruto was expecting a challenge. But actually, the town seemed really prosperous now. Apparently, there had been a lot of really bad thugs running the place. Then some supercool ninjas had wiped them out.
Now they were sailing back.
"Wow guys, that was a really easy mission, wasn't it?" asked Naruto. "I mean, we didn't even run into any enemy ninja! This was actually pretty fun!" Though he had sort of lost his fight against Sasuke, but that was no big deal. Naruto would beat him later.
"It was a waste of our time," said Sasuke flatly.
"Oh come on, Sasuke," said Sakura. "We got assigned a C rank to a beautiful, safe port without any problems at all. And all we had to do was take a boat ride and a hike through beautiful island terrain. It's like getting paid to go on vacation.
"And you did beat Naruto in that spar."
"Whatever," said Sasuke, though he actually seemed in a pretty good mood.
And they all lived happily ever after.
Author's Note:
So, I'm of two minds on Naruto filler arcs.
On the one hand, they actually enhance the main series. Hinata's love declaration means absolutely nothing in the manga. She's hardly interacted with Naruto. Likewise, Naruto's bond with the rest of the Konoha 12 seems to come completely out of nowhere in canon. Like it or not, Naruto's relationship with most of the rest of the cast was established in filler.
Also, Jiraiya believing Naruto to be the Child of Prophecy, makes a lot more sense if you count filler as canon. After all, if the filler is canon, Naruto has successfully saved multiple nations. As well as saved numerous people from darkness. All while maintaining the ideals the Leaf puts up only as a pretense. There is good reason to believe him to be the child of prophecy.
In contrast, manga Naruto is an impressive warrior but not much else. His best feat is killing a weakened Kakazu. The same goes for all the other characters.
Ino and Tenten are total fodder in the manga. But have a respectable number of achievements, including filler. And filler Hinata is majorly badass.
So I genuinely believe that in your first viewing of Naruto, you SHOULD watch the filler. It enhances the core themes of the story and makes the Aesops less broken.
That said, some of it is BORING!
So I came up with the idea of having Pain murder, eviscerate, and brutalize all of the filler villains. And then I wrote a fanfic based on the concept.