Tomoko Kuroki stops a school shooting
A Watamote fanfiction
Tomoko was sitting in her classroom listening to her teacher talk, she was bored out of her mind and wanted to go home and play some video games already.
The teacher continued to talk "and so class, that is the reason why Rei Ayanami will always be best girl no matter what any uneducated simpleton says."
Tomoko was just hoping that something interesting would happen for once in school. The teacher then got out his Rei Ayanami body pillow and asked, "say hello to the class Rei", he then did the absolute worst Rei Ayanami impression in history "hello class."
Tomoko couldn't confirm it, but she swore that there was blood coming out of her ears after that. The teacher then said, "this is our new student, and I want you all to treat her nicely." He then placed the body pillow in the seat next to Tomoko's.
Suddenly shots rang out in the air, and everyone in class went into panic mode. The teacher thought that this was the perfect time to whip out his dick and start fapping, other students decided to follow his example and join in.
Tomoko kept to her thoughts and wondered "a shooting here, why would someone do this." She then got a bright idea "if I stop this shooter, maybe I'll become popular"
This thought excited her, so she decided to get up and run out of the classroom to find whoever was shooting the school up, no one objected to this because everyone was too busy fapping to care about what Tomoko did.
*Meanwhile in the hallways*
Eric and Dylan were shooting everyone that they could find and having a blast doing so, finally for once school was actually kind of fun now.
Konata Izumi witnessed what was happening from afar and decided to do something about it. So, she jumped up on top of one of the lockers and said, "you fools messed with the wrong school, prepare to meet your doom." She then summoned her stand Star Platinum and asked, "do you understand."
Konata then tried to do a backflip off the lockers but a bird shit on her head, so instead she fell flat on her face and broke her neck.
Eric just stood still for a moment before asking "what was the point of that", Dylan then responded by saying "I think that the author was just padding for time." They both nodded their heads in agreement to each other and continued their shooting spree.
Tomoko continued through the halls until at last, she finally found them, the school shooters. Tomoko smiled at the thought of all the things that people would say to her when she stopped them.
"Wow Tomoko you stopped a shooting let's hang out." "Holy shit Tomoko you stopped a shooting come to my awesome party this weekend?" "Holy fuck Tomoko you stopped a shooting could you let me suck your dick sometime?"
That last thought snapped her out of it, she would never let someone suck her dick, mainly because she didn't have one. Wait what if she did and it just hadn't sprouted yet? What if after she became an adult she grows a thick long cock and needs to explain to all of the friends that she hopefully has in the future of why she has a bulge in her pants now?
Tomoko realized that she was getting off topic now, she needed to formulate a plan to stop this shooting from taking place so people would like her.
What could she possible do to stop these guys? That's when she noticed Konata Izumi's dead body in the hallway and that the shooters backs were turned. Tomoko then started to tiptoe across the room, careful to not alert the shooters of her presence.
Dylan then looked at Eric and asked, "hey Eric wanna hear a joke" Eric then stopped shooting his gun and said "yeah alright." Dylan smiled and said, "what's the difference between chopped beef and pea soup?" Eric rolled his eyes and said, "I don't know Dylan, what's the difference between chopped beef and pea soup?" Dylan giggled a bit and said, "their last name", Eric just stared at Dylan for a minute but then he started to burst out laughing at just how dumb that joke was.
This was fortunate because it meant that Tomoko could finally reach Konata's dead body without being seen.
Tomoko then picked up Konata's dead body and yelled "FOOLISH SHOOTERS!" Eric and Dylan then looked back and saw Tomoko using Konata's dead body as nunchucks or at least attempting to because she kept hitting herself in the face with it over and over again.
Tomoko then finished with her horrible imitation of a Bruce Lee routine and said "you guys messed with the bull, now you get the shit and trust me when I say, I've got a lot of pent up shit just for you."
Tomoko then ran at Eric and Dylan swinging her "nunchucks" wildly while making cliché Bruce Lee noises until she fell over. Not from Eric or Dylan shooting her, but because Tomoko didn't realize just how heavy a dead body is until she tried this whole experiment.
Eric then said, "this girl is actually kind of cute, can we not kill her." Dylan was laughing to the point where he almost pissed himself and said, "sure why not."
Tomoko blushed at Eric's statement, no one besides her parents had ever called her cute before and she liked this feeling. Tomoko then asked, "you guys really think I'm cute" Dylan then responded with "sure we do, you're not half bad looking"
Eric then asked, "you wanna do it real quick before we get back to our killing spree" and Tomoko responded with "s-s-sure that sounds fun" this was definitely not how Tomiko envisioned this going.
That was all that they needed to hear, Eric then proceeded to stick his tongue inside Tomoko's mouth and wiggle it around like a joystick for a solid minute before it was Dylan's turn. Dylan started to suck on Tomoko's mouth like a vacuum cleaner until he got tired of this and they both decided that they wanted to get right down to business.
Eric then proceeded to rip off Tomoko's clothes and while Dylan just watched, intrigued by this whole thing. Tomoko then stood there naked, she was pretty thin and bony, obviously from having skipped so many meals to squeeze in more video game time.
Eric didn't seem to care so he whipped out his airplane and proceeded to dock it in Tomoko's cargo bay. He thrust his cucumber into Tomoko's fruit salad in and out, in and out, pushing all her buttons like the Simpsons arcade game.
Tomoko didn't want to admit it but she was actually enjoying this quite a lot, to the point where she completely forgot why she was here in the first place. Tomoko then said "oh yeah, fill me out like a job application sempai"
Eric then responded with "it looks like this job application has a typo on it, it looks like I'll have to shred it", he then took his dick out of Tomoko's vagina, stuck it in her mouth, and proceeded to shoot a load in there like he was Dirty Harry and he just capped the bad guy.
Eric then said in his best Clint Eastwood impression "go ahead, make my day." Tomoko couldn't say anything because she was still swishing Eric's load around in her mouth, it tasted like a mixture of white chocolate and pineapple.
Eric then asked Dylan "hey Dylan, you want a turn?", Dylan then responded with "sure its not like I've got anything better to do."
Dylan then proceeded to jack into Tomoko's matrix and discover the truth about the world they live in. Tomoko moaned like a ghost on an episode of Scooby Doo and then said "stuff me like a thanksgiving turkey sempai!"
Dylan, like a deadbeat dad, then proceeded to enter and exit from her vagina. Dylan then got a bright idea and he pulled out of Tomoko's grease trap.
Tomoko wondered why he stopped, but she was given her answer soon after when Dylan shoved his sushi roll up her nose.
Dylan then yelled "KAME-HAME-HAAAAAAAAA" and he unleashed a white ki blast up Tomoko's nose.
Tomoko was about to say something about how she's never seen anyone do that in any of her hentai games but she couldn't because Eric and Dylan were now both inside of her at the same time.
Dylan was inside of Tomoko's mouth and Eric was inside of Tomoko's second mouth and they were both planning on shooting up the inside of her school with their loaded guns.
They both kept on thrusting in and out of her until they both shot wads into Tomoko and she exploded like the twin towers.
At the same time they did this, the police then burst into the building and surrounded Eric and Dylan. "Put your hands up freaks", demanded one officer to which Eric and Dylan obliged.
30 minutes later
As Eric and Dylan proceeded to get put into a police car and driven away, the whole school was cheering for Tomoko (she had her clothes back on now) and telling her about how many lives she saved and how they all wanted to be friends with her.
A news reporter was talking to her about her tactics on how she did this. The reporter asked her "was getting caught part of your plan", to which Tomoko replied "o-of course." The principal then said "well congratulations, you got yourself caught, now what's the next step of your master plan." Tomoko then replied with "crashing this plane, with no survivors"
YES THAT WHOLE STORY WAS JUST A BUILDUP TO A DAMN BANEPOST, AREN'T I THE BEST AUTHOR IN THE WORLD?