Hello my fans and readers. Today i am doing something a little different though i think it is highly needed. Now you may be asking:
"Wolf have you gone nuts? Why would you jeopardize your best and most popular story for this type of thing?"
Well my lovely reader: some stories are written to entertain, some are written to be a catharsis, and some are written to be a lesson or an explanation.
This is an example of the third one.
As multiple people comment that my "submissive Jane" chapters, (especially the ones with violence), are domestic abuse/domestic violence. I am using this chapter to show you the ACTUAL difference between a BDSM relationship and an abusive one. Its also more complicated by the relationships in this fic. See below for more details.
Theres a lot to digest here so let me break it down also take an antacid before you read this.
This fic deals with important but triggering issues including:
Domestic abuse (former), BDSM vs abuse, what is the right thing for a dom to do morally? When does a dom go "too far?" What a person can and can not consent to? Threeway relationships and how to make them work, Legality of certain relationships, as well as some other things.
While this story is technically chapter 19 of "Submissive Jane" it is seperated from that story due to uncomfortable themes it presents and I didnt want to "taint" that story. Therefore you are free to either see this as cannon of "submissive jane" or as a kinda one off story. Your choice. :)
Real Quick definitions:
SSC: Safe, Sane, And Consensual:
has been widely adopted by the BDSM community to identify which types of behaviours are acceptable between involved parties. The three guidelines are relatively simple. Any sexual (or lifestyle) behaviours should be:
Safe: While things like pain play or bondage may involve risks, it's important to stay as safe as possible and avoid permanent physical harm.
Sane: Creating fantasy scenarios is fun, but blurring the lines between fantasy and reality can be dangerous. To put it more simply, a particular behaviour is not safe simply because it doesn't harm the body. It should also not harm the mind.
Consensual: It should go without saying, but consent should be acquired not just for sex, but for all behaviours that go into sex. A person agreeing to have sex does not necessarily mean they agree to be tied up, gagged, or blindfolded, all of which are a new area of trust. Be sure to communicate through all of these.
RACK (Risk aware consensual kink): is an acronym used by some of the BDSM community to describe a philosophical view that is generally permissive of certain risky sexual behaviors, as long as the participants are fully aware of the risks. This is often viewed in contrast to safe, sane, and consensual which generally holds that only activities that are considered safe, sane, and consensual are permitted.
Risk-aware: Both or all partners are well-informed of the risks involved in the proposed activity.
Consensual: In light of those risks, both or all partners have, of sound mind, offered preliminary consent to engage in said activity.
Kink: Said activity can be classified as alternative sex.
RACK is often frowned upon by people in the BDSM community due to the blurry line of consent and generally more dangerous play than SSC.
While "Safe, Sane and Consensual" (SSC) attempts to describe and differentiate BDSM from abuse in ways that are easy for the non-BDSM public to comprehend, RACK differs from it in that it acknowledges that nothing is ever 100% inherently safe
By acknowledging that what may be safe or sane to one person may not be considered the same to another, the RACK philosophy tends to be more inclusive of activities that others may consider as edgeplay. There is no "safe" or "not safe" within RACK, only "safer" and "less safe. Consent is needed in both but both are different philosophies with very different out comes.
Ama- is the spanish word for master or mistress.
Caethes- is the welsh word for slave.
Back story/basic premise:
Cailin (yes she is important in this story. Part of why it is separated) was in a BDSM relationship that turned abusive. She was in this relationship for years despite trying to get help because outsiders couldn't tell the difference between BDSM and abuse so they assumed she was ok. She was one day able to escape though she suffered terrible injuries inflicted by her abuser. Scared of possible revenge she decided not to call the police or press charges.
During her stay in the hospital, Maura and Jane visit her quite often. After some time Jane suggests that her and Maura "adopt" Cailin into their relationship, an idea Maura is hesitant to for obvious reasons but eventually agrees to knowing her sister is safer with them.
After being "adopted" by them; Jane, Maura and Cailin all set up a contract, rules, expectations and a hierarchy.
The hierarchy is as follows:
Maura- often called Master (by both women) or Ama (only by Cailin)- remains at the top.
She controls both Jane and Cailin just like before. She hands out all punishments and expects respect and obedience from both her pets. In turn she provides love, stability and protection to them both.
Jane- called pet/slave by Maura and Mistress/Mama by Cailin (depends on situation) is in the middle. she is submissive to Maura but sometimes dominates Cailin and orders her around. She occasionally hands out punishments to Cailin though is not as skilled at it as Maura and instead provides aftercare to the student.
Cailin- called various names including pet (by both women), Cally (only by Maura) or Sissy; meaning weak-not meaning sister (by Jane). Is at the bottom. She serves both women and is the last one to eat, bathe or other simple activities of living. She is expected to do whatever they say but isnt shy about voicing her discomfort. Both women protect her in return for her obedience.
Jane and Cailin are held to the same rules and standards and mostly get the same punishments. However usually only the one that disobeyed the rule or was "naughty" is punished. Though they both occasionally get punished together.
And obviously everything in Jane/Maura/Cailin relationship is consensual as they are all adults by the end of the original show.
Ok i think thats enough explanation. Now please enjoy.
"This cafe is really good." Cailin said as her and Jane sat at an outside table. Cailin had just finished class and Jane was supposed to stay with her until Maura either came by to get them or told them to go home.
"Do you come here often?" Jane said smiling at the student. She rubbed the students left hand feeling the rough skin there. The pale scar in the center of the students hand a parallel to her own trauma. Jane knew the weight such scars carried.
"I used to. I haven't been since…" The student started. She began to look around suspiciously at the passersbys. Jane knew that look. The look of fear and paranoia. She often had that same look. She sipped her drink, a sugary concoction that is disservice to the word "coffee" but the pair shouldn't be drinking caffeine this late anyway. At least not according to their Master.
The pair simply sipped their drinks and enjoyed each others company. Their master should be along any time now. Maura was working late nights in the morgue to help Cailin financially. Cailin couldn't hold down a job in over four years and simply wasn't ready to go into the world without her mistresses nearby. Class being the only exception. A rule she was going to follow as much as she could.
"I have to go to the bathroom." Jane said as she looked around, the sun was starting to set. "Will you be ok alone?" She knew that the student was hesitant to be left alone but it would only be a few minutes.
Cailin nodded. "Yes Mama Jane." Jane blushed at the statement. They hadnt been in a relationship very long, only about a month, and hearing the statement outside of their home was strange to the detective.
"Ok. dont go anywhere... my pet." Now it was Cailins turn to blush. Jane chuckled as she headed to the nearest bathroom which was inside the next building.
As she sat there she saw two men approach her. They were dressed in jeans and BCU t-shirts though they appeared slightly too old to be in university. Possibly another students parents She rationalized.
"Are you Cailin Martin?" One asked.
"Whos asking?" Cailin said defensively.
"We have someone that wants to talk to you." The other one said.
"Well shouldn't they have come themselves and also why are you here? You guys are too old for university." Cailin said.
"You're never too old to learn something new." One said.
"Thats fair." Cailin said in agreement. "Now who wants to talk to me."
"We are not at liberty to say."
"Then politely fuck off." Cailin said as she started to stand and leave. Where the hell was Jane at?
"I guess she was right..that kid is still a coward." One man said to the other though he said it loud so cailin would hear.
"Thats too bad. She would have loved to see how brave the kid got. How defiant. Not a good sub like she's supposed to be though given her current master..." The other said.
Cailin stopped moving and growled. What were these men talking about?
"Yes a coward just like her master. Oh well guess we should go tell her." the men slowly turned around to leave waiting for a reaction from the student. They soon got one.
"Take it back." Cailin growled as she faced the men. A look of anger spreading around her features. Her teeth bared. Her fist clenched and her small frame shaking.
The taller of the two men turned around. "Take it back? Its not an insult its the truth. You and your masters are cowards. At least according to our source."
"But if you want to prove us wrong…" The other man said as the pair walked away. An anger blazed in the student. Noone gets away with mocking her master(s) though she was unclear
how the men know of them or which one they were referring to.
She knew she shouldn't but she wanted to prove that she was brave. That she has risen above the trauma. Maybe her ama would be impressed even. That and her master(s) reputations were on the line. Noone gets to insult them. How dare this mysterious woman accuse them of being cowards. Jane and Maura were heros. Not only to her but to the whole city. Hell Jane is even known as "The hero of BPD."
She said nothing but followed the men. They smiled wickedly though since Cailin was looking at the ground she didn't notice.
Jane had returned to the bathroom. She growled to herself for taking so long. Stupid Stupid stupid she thought as she headed back to comfort her pet. She knew Cailin would freak out if left alone too long. That she'd start to get panic attacks. She was ready to apologize but was confused at the sight. Cailins backpack was on the seat but she couldn't find any sign of the student. She looked around and the asked a worker if he had seen her.
"Yes i believe so. She left with 2 men. They went that way." He said and pointed. That direction was heading toward the abandoned part of the city. Where old factories now stand as mournful monuments of a by gone era.
Jane called Cailin's cell but it was still in her backpack.
"Damnit." Jane said and texted Maura before heading off blindly to that direction.
Why the hell did you run off? She thought.
The two men led Cailin down an abandoned alleyway. In between two abandoned shipyard containers.
"Alright i came." She said to noone in particular. She scanned the area looking for this mysterious woman. The men stared at her and then one placed his fingers to his ear. A long silence was formed as Cailin fet her bravery slipping by the second.
"Alright then." he said and nodded to the other man. They then charged at the student who ran away as a result. Her bravery vanishing completely.
She soon was panting as she hid behind a box. Her heart pounding as she was transported back to that night. The fear she had as blood dripped out of her wounds. As she stumbled into the night scared and alone.
She was brought out her thoughts by one of the men pulling her up by the collar of her shirt. As she kicked helplessly, the man slammed her against the side of another empty trailer. She whimpered in pain.
"BPD drop her!" she heard. She looked over to see Jane. her body shaking as she aimed a gun at the man.
"Aww sweetie we were just roughing her up a bit." The man said.
"Why dont you pick on someone your own size?" Jane said.
"Like you?" She heard from behind as she was tackled to the ground by the other man. Her gun was kicked away from her as she gasped in pain. In a flash of anger Cailin punched the other man, freeing herself. She pulled Jane into a standing position and somehow was able to run away holding Janes hand.
"What a coward indeed." she heard.
After a few minutes of running Cailin ran out of strength and collapsed. Jane also felt weak as the two hid against another trailer. Jane sat down and grabbed her side. Cailin looked around desperately for an escape route. Which was deemed impossible amongst the labyrinth of shipping containers and sea waves.
The pair heard footsteps slowly approaching. Peering around the trailer she watched in horror as the men appeared. Both holding handguns. She looked at jane who was still in pain. She closed her eyes and felt a tide of bravery wash over her.
As the men approached the pair she stood in front of Jane.
"Here you little cowards."
Cailin stared at the men and let out a weak roar.
Ra..Ra...Roar
The men giggled.
"Aww that was it? Do it again. Tell us." one teased.
As Cailin went to roar again, a powerful growl pierced the silent sky. Making the men look around.
"huh?"
Suddenly a blonde woman tackled and punched the men to the ground. Disarming them and trapping them under her arms by pressing both her forearms onto their throats. She bore angry rabid eyes into theirs as the men continued to struggle.
"SILENCE!" she growled at them.
"We..we're gonna shut up right now." One said.
"Look we're really sorry." the other said.
"If you ever come near my pets again-" she spat.
"Oh thes...these are your pets...no i didn't know..no..did you?" one studdered.
"No of course not." the other said.
The woman let out a powerful angry roar as the men ran away.
For a few minutes none of the women moved. Suddenly the click of high heels was heard against the concrete shipyard.
"Its so hard to find good help these days isnt it?" a woman laughed at the trio.
She was a tall redhead. Dressed in a tight black skirt, a red blouse and a thick trench coat. A pair of glasses sat elegantly on her face as sadistic hazel eyes stared the trio down.
"Its been a while hasn't it Maura?" she said looking at the M.E. Jane had stood and walked over to Cailin.
"Master? Who is this woman?" Jane said.
"What are you doing here Meridith?" Maura spat at the woman. She saw that Meridith was looking at Jane. Or rather through Jane.
"I just wanted to check up on her." Meridth said still looking in Jane's direction.
"Why are you staring at me?" Jane said.
"Oh dear im not looking at you."
"Then who?" Jane said before feeling Cailin cling to her from behind. Hiding from this womans glare.
"What a cowardly master you are detective. Letting your little pet fight your battles for you." Meridth said as she kicked janes handgun back at her. Jane picked it up. "I expected better from the so called hero of BPD."
"What was that?!" Jane growled as she started to walk toward the woman, only to be pulled back by Cailin.
"Well good to see you finally be brave...my pet." she said staring at Cailin who simply trembled in response.
"I wish you had just behaved then this wouldn't have happened..Just like you wouldn't be covered in scars. You always were a naughty sub thats why i always had to punish you. And you always liked it didn't you you perverted is all your fault. Just like everything bad is. You always hurt everyone who you meet so i had to discipline you, to save them from the monster that you are. You failed me once more though im sure you are used to being a disappointment." Meridith continued as Cailin started to sob.
Suddenly Jane realized who this woman was.
"YOU BITCH!" Jane yelled aiming her gun at the woman. She however felt the gun being pulled away with a surprising amount strength though not enough to pull the gun away completely. She followed the pull to see Maura placed the barrel against her own temple and despite Jane's efforts she couldn't budge it. Jane knew if she pulled the trigger it would shoot her master.
"Master?" Jane said.
"Stop." Maura said though still stared at meredith.
"Now I'll ask again, why did you come here?" Maura hissed, gun still against her head.
"Hmm. We havent talked in years doc and this is how you greet me? What a pity."
"Theres a reason we havent talked in years and you know exactly why." Maura responded. It was clear these two had a history. Just what was it? Who knows.
"I already said why I came. Are you deaf Ms. Isles?"
"I dont know. Lets see..try begging for your life like the last time we spoke." Maura responded which resulted in Jane giggling slightly.
"My pet also begged for her life and she's lucky i listened." Meridith said. "Though since we are here why dont you and i have a chat? I have been dying to talk to you after all this time."
Maura growled. She knew that the fastest way for this woman to leave was to amuse her. She wanted to beat her but couldn't in front of her pets.
"Fine. but they get to leave. Unharmed."
"Deal."
"Jane take Cailin and leave."
"But master…"
"Go now. Wait for me over there." she pointed to a spot that was far enough to prevent the pair from seeing or hearing the conversation.
"I..ok." Jane said as she dragged the students hand. As the pair walked by them, Meridth moaned at Cailin who cried in response.
Meridith smiled as she looked at the doctor.
"Well its nice to see you acquired a pet since i last saw you. I almost thought you had left that world entirely."
"I have two pets." Maura said.
"Oh is that so? Lets see you have your jane...and the pet you stole from me."
"She escaped you."
"Yes which is why i came back to get her. Now if you dont mind…" Meridith began to walk in the direction of the pair.
"You wanted to talk. Now talk." Maura said annoyed.
"Hmm. a lost pet should always be returned to its master. You know how dangerous it is for strays in this cold brutal world."
"Lets skip negotiations. You wont be getting her back." Maura growled.
"Pardon?" Meridith said though she faked being offended. This woman could fake any emotion. Thats what made her so dangerous.
"You heard me. Cailin isn't your property. Got it?"
"Oh...well the brand mark on her neck says otherwise."
Maura growled in anger. She knew Cailin bore a terrible burn on her throat. A "C" that permanently designates her as inferior.
"Do you know why its a "c"?"
"No...nor do i care." Maura said.
"Well it comes from Caethes. And im sure you know what that means."
Maura did know and sighed.
"Why would i return a pet to its abusive master?"
"Is that what she said? That i was abusive?"
"She didnt need to say it."
"Aww. what a pity you dont understand. Cailin and I signed a contract. Just as im sure you and Jane did. She wanted this."
"For being a lawyer you should know those contracts are not legally enforceable. And a person cant consent to what you did."
"Well doc why don't you tell me what i did? Since you wanna run your mouth." Meridth challenged.
"You know what you did. Everytime i look at Cailin i see what you did."
"Aww cant bring yourself to vocalize it. Well im sure you discipline your pet too.I just was a little rougher is all."
"Rougher is that what you call it?" Maura scoffed.
"Yes. She wanted a RACK relationship and i gave her one." Meridth circled the doctor. Her words like poison.
"No youre wrong. even RACK relationships have limits. You just abused her."
"What you call abuse, i call discipline. Im sure you are rough with Jane some days."
"Its not the same. I always know when to stop."
"Cailin never told me to stop."
Maura growled.
"You give us doms a bad name." Maura said.
"Oh so you are admitting you are like me?"
Maura grabbed Meredith's collar and slammed her into the nearest container. Rage filled her eyes and she let out a rabid growl.
"Oh Maura i haven't seen you like this in a long time. You're so gorgeous when you're angry." Meridith practically moaned.
Maura tightened the grip on meredith's blouse, thin fibers began to separate from the seams.
"I am nothing like you!" Maura snarled.
Merdith smirked and licked her tounge over her lips. She loved the look in the doctors eyes. The cold focused look in them. She began to laugh.
"What's funny?" Maura demanded.
"The lie you just said."
"What lie?" Maura said confused.
"You are right. You are nothing like me..." Meridith confessed as she looked defeated.
"Of course not. I treat my pets with the love and respect they deserve unlike you." Maura interrupted her as she loosened her grip.
Meridth leaned close into Maura's ear.
"You're a thousand times worse." She whispered into the blondes ear.
Maura tightened her grip again as meridith smiled wide.
"You see i may have been rough with her but you are the real abuser."
"How so?" Maura asked.
"Do i really need to say? We all know the reason. Hell the readers all know what's coming"
Maura said nothing and Meridith took it as a sign to continue.
"Fine. You and her can never have a relationship. At least not a healthy one. I bet this wasnt even your idea. Taking her in."
"I…"
"Yes i bet your pet convinced you this was the right thing to do. Ironic considering the fact thats its criminal."
"A three way relationship isn't illegal." Maura defended though she knew deep down thats not what meredith meant.
"That isn't what i'm referring to and you know it." Merdith smirked. "Even if you do love her you are abusing her."
"Shut up." Maura trembled.
"All the love in the world, all the kindness you show wont change the facts."
"Love isn't abusive. Love shouldn't hurt." Maura said.
"You are abusing her. Worse than i was or ever could."
"I…" Maura said her cold eyes filling with doubt. "No! You're wrong! I love her."
"And thats exactly the problem.. Your relationship is inherently abusive by its very said Cailin couldn't consent to our relationship. Well she also cant consent to yours.. No amount of love or bonding or grooming or protection will change are making her into a criminal. You are a criminal. The apples don't fall too far from the tree do they Maura Doyle?"
Maura had have enough, she threw Meridith across the alleyway. Meridith slammed into the container before groaning in pain. She slowly pushed herself up and grabbed her side in pain.
"You're the abuser. You will never change that and when she realizes that she'll come running back to me just like she did all those time before. All the nights she'd run to you to fix her up only to return to me in the morning." Meredith spat with such confidence that Maura genuinely believed her. "You cant save her. You are harming her. If you really want to help her...let her go."
Maura began to shake in frustration. She knew meredith was right. she should end this cycle and kill Cailin's abuser- the question was does she kill meredith or does she kill herself. Meridth began to stand when she saw the doubt crushing Maura's mind. She began to walk away.
"I respect you doctor Isles so I'll back off for now...but we'll see who is really the monster." Meridith said.
Maura glared at her. "This is the second time I spared your life...I will not spare it a third time." Maura warned.
"Lets not wait so long to talk again next time." Meridith said as she disappeared into the night.
Jane and Cailin worked their way over to their master. Jane gently touched Maura's hand and smiled...at least until Maura glared at her. Sending piercing daggers into the detective forcing Jane to look down.
"m...Master..I.." cailin began approaching the woman who then turned her daggers into cailins eyes.
"You deliberately disobeyed me." Maura said.
"Mas..master i..im sorry."
"Lets go home." Maura said as all three walked in silence.
"I thought you were very brave." Jane whispered to Cailin.
Maura's house:
Jane and Cailin entered their home and both looked at the ground unsure of what to do. They heard the door slam making both of them flinch in fear. Maura took a deep breath to center herself. She thought about who to yell at first. She went to Jane and shoved her to the ground.
"You were supposed to be watching her!" Maura screamed.
"I..Its not her fault. I went off on my own." Cailin said standing in front of Jane. Maura walked over to her backing her into a corner asking her questions in anger.
"What were you doing?!"
"Nothing."
"Who abused you for years?"
"Meridith."
"Who left you for dead?"
"Meridith."
"What did I tell you about confronting people!?"
"I..Im sorry master...I.."
Maura sighed and decided how to proceed.
"Jane." she said in a commanding voice.
"Y..yes master?"
"Go get the rice and sit in the corner for 25 minutes. Then cook dinner...make enough for two." she said glaring at Cailin.
"I need to teach you a lesson." Maura said dragging the student by the arm.
Basement room 1:
The dungeon was cool and dark as maura shut the door. Cailin had never been down here before. It was a room only used for severe punishments. A similar room existed not too far from here that room was used for "play" as Jane put it. There were only a few things in this room however. A chair, a small twin bed, a box filled with god knew what and on one wall a large saint andrews cross complete with handcuffs on each post.. Maura turned on the lights as cailin shielded her eyes. Maura pointed at the ground and Cailin kneeled. Maura sat in the chair then pet Cailin's hair and Cailin purred at the gentle touch.
Maura took a deep breath and for a minute or two stayed still. She was trying to find her headspace but meridith's words echoed in her ears. Causing the doctor to growl in disgust. Though whether at the words or herself she didn't know. She was brought out of her thoughts by something wet on her thigh. She looked down to see the student mindlessly licking the doctors inner thigh right above her knee. Maura smiled before clearing her throat. Cailin pulled away in fear. She uttered a quick "sorry" before looking back down at the ground though Maura could see her body tremble in fear.
Maura said nothing and continued to look for her headspace.
I can do this. I need to do this. Will it make me like her? Maybe i can back out. No! Its my responsibility as a dom to do this. I need to be consistent. Jane gets punished for breaking safety rules...so should she..
Maura took a deep breath then opened her eyes. They turned a darker shade of hazel as she simply stood up.
"Cailin i am very disappointed in you." she said rubbing the students hair.
"I know." Cailin said still looking at the ground.
"Look at me." Maura said though softly. Cailin did as a look of regret filled her brown eyes.
"You could have been killed. You deliberately disobeyed me...and whats worse you put Jane in danger."
Cailin sniffled softly looking at the ground. "I..I was only trying to be brave like you and mama Jane."
Maura kneeled so she was eye level with the student. She gently pushed on Cailins chin forcing the girl to look at her. For a moment her headspace slipped away.
"Cally. We are only brave when we need to be...being brave doesn't mean you go looking for trouble."
"But you're not scared of anything."
"I was today." Maura said softly.
"You were?"
Maura kissed the students forehead. "Yes i thought i would lose you."
"I guess even doms get scared huh?"
"Mmm"
"But you know what?" Cailin said with a smile.
"What?"
"I think those men were even scareder."
"Cause nobody messes with your ama. Come here you." Maura said as she playfully wrestled Cailin on the ground. She tickled the student as Cailin laughed and thrashed in mock protest.
For a few minutes they stayed like that but then Maura got serious once more. She had a punishment to give and she wouldn't delay it any further. She pulled away and had Cailin once again on her knees. Cailin smiled as Maura walked to the box. Maura seemed in a better mood and maybe would go easy on her. Cailin giggled to herself...until she saw what Maura pulled out.
Her eyes went wide as she looked at the object. She began to shake and cry in fear. Her hands clenching and unclenching as she swallowed vomit. memories flooding back as she stood up and slowly backed away. She bumped into the wall before screaming in fear at it. Maura for her part was silent. She didn't comfort Cailin but didn't approach her either.
Cailin shook as she tried to speak. Tried to voice her fear but couldn't. She stared off at nothing in particular. Her breath much faster as she fought the urge to run. Memories flooded her. She remembers the first time she was struck with it
Cailin smiled as Meridith entered their home. She hugged the lawyer before taking her jacket off. She had just finished cooking dinner as she walked her mistress to the table. Kneeling at her feet she was happy. Meridith looked at the dish. A type of beef soup that looked like a fried egg on top of some instant ramen noodles. She knew the student lived off college food but also knew that she had much better ingredients in her kitchen than to be served this….this.. She couldn't even describe it. She sighed. She had a long day at the D.A's office and Cailin had the day off and this is the best she could make? She must think she's funny. Meridith thought to herself as she saw the smile on her pets face.
Meridith growled in disgust.
"This is the best you could make me? You must think you are funny dont you bitch?"
Cailin was confused. She tried really hard, she didn't really know how to cook but she saw this ramen egg dish on the web and thought it would be good.
"I worked 13 hours today while your lazy ass stayed home and you cook me fucking ramen noodles." Meridith said angrily.
"I..I thought it would be good." Cailin said.
"You thought it would be good? Well tell me how good it is." Meridith grabbed the student's head and shoved it into the bowl of hot soup. Cailin thrashed as the soup burned her face. She was pulled out but then started to cry.
"Dont cry now." Meridith said stroking the students face. "Go run me a bath."
Cailin ran upstairs and started to fill the bathtub. She started to fill it with soap and cold water (so as not to burn her mistress) as she tended to her burned face, she gently splashed cold water onto her face. She washed all the soup off as Meridith came in and turned off the water.
"Sigh you cant even make a bath right. Are you trying to flood my house?" Meridith said as she sat in the water only to jump back out. She glared at the student.
"Why is this freezing?"
Shit she forgot to put it to warm while tending her face.
"I..I'm sorry."
"Are you that stupid or are you playing with me?"
"I..I'm not stupid." Cailin said defensively. Which was the wrong thing to say.
"Oh so you admit you are playing a game?" Meridth scowled annoyed.
"Wait..I didnt mean that."
"Well you are a med student so you clearly have a brain. Just want to annoy me tonight do you?"
"I..I'm not."
"Go lay in the bed on your stomach."
She did and waited. Meridith came in and grabbed an object.
"Maybe some pain will help you wake up and focus."
Before Cailin could react she felt a terrible pain on her ass. Like a burning swat that started to spread. She felt another one on the other cheek and whimpered in pain. She then felt another strike on her lower back over her good kidney. That caused her to scream in agony as she shook in fear.
Meridith hit her twice more on her upper back. Then stopped. She looked back to see that she was holding a rattan cane. It was long and smooth but had a lot of weight to it. She cried as her kidney felt like it exploded.
"Now rest. I'm going to take a bath."
Cailin sobbed.
She was brought out of her thoughts by a hand stroking her face. Fear took over as she bit the hand before hearing a hiss of pain. She looked up the arm to see Maura. Her face twisted in pain. Cailin instantly released her.
"I..I.." She looked over to see the cane laying on the bed. She hid in Maura's chest sobbing.
"P..Please. Anything else. Please...i...she...please Maura anything other than that please i beg you."
Maura nodded and held the student close. She then pulled away and put the cane away. She pulled out 4 objects and laid them across the bed. From left to right there was a cat o nine tails, a dual sided paddle (leather on one side, smoothed wood on other), a short bullwhip, and a simple thick leather belt, it was actually janes belt that turned out to be a good lashing belt so Maura kept it in this room. She walked the student to the bed and smiled.
"Ok. you choose." Maura said sweetly.
"I..I get to choose?" Cailin said in shock. Maura understood that she had no choice in her prior relationship. A classic sign of abuse.
"Yes."
"B..But you're in charge."
Maura smiled and giggled a little. "Actually its the opposite. I may be the "top" but You and Jane actually control me."
"W..we do?" Cailin was extremely confused.
"Yes. You determine what i can do to you. You determine when i stop, when i go too far, you set your own limits or restrictions and I follow them to a T. I always ensure your physical and mental safety over all else. Its called safe sane and consensual. I never break your limits. Push them maybe but break them never. You call out the word. You have complete control over my actions to you."
"I.." Cailin said having never been allowed to control anything before.
"She...She told me RACK was better. That SSC wasn't a real d/s relationship. That subs shouldnt control anything."
"She was...no..she is wrong."
Cailin stroked each object to feel what they were like. Maura always had high quality gear and as each object was stroked under Cailin's fingers she whimpered. She still wasn't sure which one to pick as she was unsure what maura would do with them.
"No matter what you pick, the punishment is the same. 25 lashes. One for each minute between when Jane texted me and I found you two. One for each minute i feared that you two were being hurt. Thats why Jane is sitting on top of rice grains right now. Probably hurting her knees."
Lucky Jane. Cailin thought.
Still she is glad Maura put the cane away. She couldn't handle one cane lash let alone 25. She stroked each object one more time. She eventually picked one. Although what she picked surprised Maura.
"This one." Cailin said handing it to Maura.
"You sure?" Maura said hesitantly. This was the first time Cailin got punished for breaking a safety rule. Something Maura had no tolerance of. But still. This was..
"Yes. Im sure." Cailin said with a confidence she probably never had in her past relationship.
"Ok."
Upstairs:
Jane had finished her punishment and swept up all the rice. She put it in the trash can and was thinking of what to make for dinner. Make enough for two. She knew what that meant though Cailin probably didn't. She thought hard before settling on what to make. She grabbed a frying pan, a block of pepper jack cheese, a lemon, broccoli and fresh cuts of fish.
She hummed to herself as she began to grate the cheese, she ran her fingers over her neck. She wanted her collar. She knew she'd get it soon so she resumed the task at hand. She turned on a red sox game to have in the background. They were down 1-4 to new york.
Back in Dungeon:
The air was cold across her bare back. Cailin tested the handcuffs that held her to the cross. There was a small amount of give though so insignificant that it was more an insulting tease than a comforting relief. She felt a soft warm towel being wrapped around her waist. Tied there with a rope. She peered back at Maura confused.
"This is to ensure i don't hit your lower back. There is a high risk of injury due to lack of protective ribs. The highest risk is kidney injury though spinal injury can also occur. I never give punishments on the lower back anyway but with you i need to be extra cautious."
Cailin understood and faced the wall. She was glad Maura put her safety first. It was something that she was unaccustomed too.
"Ready?" Maura asked.
"Mmm."
"If you need to slow down say yellow, if you need to stop say red. I know you aren't used to being allowed to stop a punishment but don't be shy about voicing it ok?"
"Yes ama."
They both took a deep breath then a small silence weighed on them. It didn't last too long however as the tell tale sound of a bullwhip crackled through the small room.
"One." Cailin said before another mark was lashed into her back. "Two." a third crack came just as quick as the first two. The strength and accuracy of the cracks never waivered. Maura clearly knew what she was doing. A fact that comforted Cailin as she trusted a dom for the first time in years. She smiled softly to herself. "Three."
Maura landed two more quick blows to her back as the warm marks wrapped the student in a blanket of security or love and trust. Providing a feeling of protection to the student she had never felt before.
"Start apologizing."
Crack.
"Six. I'm sorry."
Crack.
"I shouldn't have ran off...seven"
Crack.
"I just wanted to prove I was brave...eight."
Crack.
"I just wanted to fight for myself. Nine."
Crack.
"Ten. I wont run off again. shit…"
Her back had begun to hurt as she softly started to cry though from guilt or pain wasn't known. She felt a rough hand stroke up her back. No voice came with it but the hand was enough, a reminder she was ok… and a silent check in that she was still in this world. The hand soon vanished as she felt the next wave. The force slightly harder though not enough to make her bleed.
"Eleven. Please forgive me."
Crack.
"You made those rules because you love me. Twelve."
Crack.
"Thirteen. I promise i'll be good."
She had begun to cry a little harder as pain and guilt ate at her. The force remained constant
Crack.
"Im sorry. I wont disobey you again...four..fourteen." She managed through tears.
She could hear the whip being pulled back again and before the next strike said: "I'm sorry i am a bad girl." unfortunately that made Maura lose focus mid strike and cause her to strike Cailin incredibly hard, though thankfully still on her back
CRACK!
She screamed as the whip actually engraved into her back causing an open lash. She felt blood ooze out of the wound. She expected to be slapped or punched for making Maura lose focus but neither came. Instead a rough hand quickly put some pressure on the wound. She turned to face the doctor who had a worried look on her face.
"I..Im sor sorry. I made you lose focus. I..I'm a bad girl...i cant do anything right...I-" She was cut off by two fingers going into her mouth. She simply sucked them unsure of what else to do. The action providing a relief from her pain and guilt.
"Shh. It's ok. Just relax. It was an accident. I'm sorry. Alright lets get you down." Maura said in a shaky panicked voice.
Wait..Down? I still have 10 more. why is she stopping? I didn't say the word. Cailin thought
Maura pulled away and undid the cuffs. She carried Cailin to the bed and put the student on her stomach. She then got he med kit and slowly treated the wound.
"W..What are you doing? I still have ten more lashes. Put me back up there. Hit me then treat me." Cailin said angrily. She agreed to 25 lashes and that's what she's getting one way or another.
Maura ignored her rambling and washed out the wound with a simple salt water solution. Obviously salt hurts open wounds and as a result Cailin cried out in pain. She gripped the pillow and growled at herself. If she had just been quiet she wouldn't have gotten hurt.
Though each time she got hurt it was always somehow her fault so she wasnt surprised. She was a disappointment to Meridith and a disappointment to Maura. She sobbed as Maura continued to work on her. She placed rubbing alcohol and iodine on the wound ensuring that any bacteria was killed. She stitched up the wound about a 3 inch lash and then held the student close.
"Shh. dont cry its ok." Maura said rocking the student.
"I'm a bad girl...a bad person."
Maura growled and pulled away from the student. Cailin expected a look of anger or disgust. She got neither though. All she got was a soft look of genuine love and concern.
"Cailin...You are not a bad girl. You are not a bad person. I punish you to correct your behavior. But you and Jane are always my good pets. My good girls. Your behavior is bad not you. Understand?"
Cailin looked away unable to accept the statement. For four years she was told she was a bad person every day. And kind words wont just make that sentiment go away. Se began to cry as Maura simply held her.
"Please finish punishing me. I still get ten lashes."
"No you dont."
"But…"
"I decide your punishments not you. And right now it is too dangerous to keep lashing you." Its my fault. I hurt her. Maura thought as a hint of doubt planted itself in her heart.
"Go sit in the corner for 10 minutes then you are forgiven."
Cailin didnt fight. She simply sat with her forehead against the wall. Maura cleaned up and simply stared at Cailin for the ten minutes.
Suddenly a buzz was heard over the intercom. It connected the basement rooms to the living room. It was a way of sending messages down to the basement safely and quickly. Also it kept the dungeon mostly hidden from outsiders and family visitors.
Buzz.
"What is it jane?" Maura said holding the button on the wall.
"Dinner's ready."
"Ok we will be up soon."
Cailin simply zoned out when in the corner so jumped a little bit when Maura tapped her. She slowly stood as Maura guided her upstairs. Mindful of the wound.
Upstairs:
Jane set Maura's plate and filled a cup up with milk then kneeled at the right side of the chair. Jane nor Cailin were not allowed to sit at the table. Only on the floor.
As the pair entered she smiled. Maura sat in the chair as Cailin began to sit on the left side of the chair.
"No. sit next to Jane."
Cailin was confused. They sat opposite so that Maura could both pet them while she ate and so they didnt fight over food. Cailin moved and sat next to jane who was also shirtless. Jane glanced over at the student and saw her red marked back. She saw the stitches and raised an eyebrow. Why she would choose the whip over a belt was unknown to her. She heard the student whimpering as she laid down but focused on her master.
"Mmm. This is good Jane. thank you"
Maura said eating the melted cheese covered broccoli and lemon seared salmon. Maura reached down to pet Jane's hair while Cailin mostly ignored the pair. Jane was confused but continued to enjoy Maura's affections.
Eventually Maura finished eating and fixed Jane a plate from the remaining food that Jane had made. She had a plate the same fullness as Maura's which was rare for her. One piece of salmon and a pile of cheese covered broccoli. Maura put the plate on the floor and allowed jane to eat it on her lap. Again a rare occurrence. Maura sat back down at the table and began to read some medical journal.
Cailin's stomach began to growl at the smell of salmon. She loved salmon. She crawled over to Jane who was eating the food with her fingers. She waited until Jane was looking at Maura then tried to grab a small piece of food. Jane noticed and tried to bite the students hand growling furiously. Jane was usually nice and shared items with Cailin.
Food being the only exception as that was usually all the food she was allowed after work. Whatever Maura decided to give her that night. Jane faced away from Cailin and continued to eat. Cailin tried again only to be greeted with a riding crop to the hand. She looked up to see Maura looking down at her, holding the crop.
"No." was all she said. Which was humiliating but humbling at the same time. Cailin sat back and waited. Maybe Jane would give her the scraps. Her stomach growled weakly as she rubbed it in a pathetic attempt to soothe the hunger. She was soon disappointed as neither Jane nor Maura gave the student any food. Jane crawled around looking for chew toys while cailin simply laid down trying to ignore her hunger and painful back.
"Jane." Maura said. Jane came close and Maura whispered in her ear. She then nodded as Maura stood and left. Cailin looked on confused as she started to follow Maura. Jane blocked her.
"No sissy." Jane said. Cailin stopped and went to lay in the human size dog bed near the fire place. Jane simply chewed her teething ring nearby.
Roof:
The wind hollowed coldly atop Maura's roof. Ironically Maura wasn't affected as she already felt cold ravish her body from before. The seeds of doubt planted by Meridith grew into a forest. She cried as Meredith's words echoed in her ears.
You're a thousand times worse. Your relationship is inherently abusive by its very nature. You cant save her. You are harming her. you are like me..
God she hated that woman. Not only for what she did to her sister but for how true her words were. She was no better than her. Hell she cut Cailins back open out of sheer carelessness. She lost control and Cailin got hurt. Who's to say that she wont hurt her again in a fit of anger or pure carelessness?
On top of that their relationship is inherently wrong. Being with Jane doesn't do much to lessen the blow. It was wrong but was it abusive? Could Cailin really consent to such a relationship? Could Maura? Adopting Cailin may have saved her but for how long? Could Maura really become like Meridith...or was she already worse?
Maura cried and brought her knees to her chest. She never doubted herself as a dom before. All her years of training made that almost impossible. Sure she always had to learn new things, new techniques if you will. But she never had to learn that incest was inherently wrong. Everyone knew that and yet it oddly didn't bother her. The fact that Cailin was her sub and also her sister. Well it didn't until now. Was she being selfish and abusive? Does she genuinely like this hierarchy or does she use it as an excuse to keep Cailin safe?
She sighed and cried to herself as doubt crushed her. It had begun to rain though she didn't care.
Suddenly she heard the access door open and Jane yelling "Wait get back here!" as she started to turn around she felt a weight crash into her knocking the air out of her. She glanced up to see Cailin a sad though relieved expression on her face.
"Ama what are you doing up here?" Cailin said shaking the doctor violently making her nauseous.
"Sorry Master. I tried to stop her." Jane said pulling the student off.
"Its ok Jane. I was just thinking."
"About?" Cailin said.
"It's not important." Maura said as she started itching her skin. Both Jane and Cailin noticed but said nothing.
"Ama whatever it is its ok."
"Yeah you can tell us anything." Jane chimed in. she saw the tear streaks Maura had.
Maura began to cry again. Hiding in herself. The two women were unsure of what to do.
"A..am i abusive?" Maura asked both of them.
"What master of course not." Jane said.
"No. You have never laid an abusive hand on me...believe me i know one when i see one." Cailin said.
"b..But we...it is..Its always abusive. You and I." she said looking at cailin. "Thats all it can ever be."
"Is that what she told you?" Cailin said back.
Maura nodded and sobbed.
"Don't listen to her she plays mind games with people. you know that"
"And the law?!" Maura snapped causing the student to back up. "Is that a mind game too?"
Jane was silent at Maura's outburst but Cailin did something drastic...she backhanded their master. Maura gasped in surprise and Jane went to grab Cailin. Maura stood up.
"Jane. Its ok." Jane stopped.
"Fuck the law then. I'd rather be criminal with you for eternity than her victim for one more day. Just because its illegal doesnt mean its abusive..and just because its legal doesnt mean its free of abuse."
"I…" Maura began.
"She's right you know." Jane said. Which caused Maura to look on surprised.
Maura collapsed and sobbed, screaming into the night. The rain had begun to pour. Cailin looked at Jane. Jane nodded. There was always one song that calmed Maura down. Ironically by the band disturbed. Though the pair changed the lyrics some.
"Hello darkness my old friend. I've come to talk with you again." Cailin sang moving closer to the distraught doctor.
"Because a question softly creeping,Left its seeds while you were sleeping." Jane sang in her trademark husky voice.
"And the doubt that was planted in your brain,Still remains, Within the sound of silence." both sang as they hugged their master.
"For many years I was alone, As the cold chilled me to the bone,'Neath the horns of a demon, Till you made me a freeman, When I escaped and no longer had to fight, you showed me love's light, And touched the sound of silence." Cailin sang softly.
"Abuse" you think, but you do not know, doubt like a cancer grows, Hear my words "yes I love you",Take my arms that will embrace you, Now let go of the doubts master, And hear our song". Jane sang emotionally.
"And the guilt eats at you, Because you didn't get there soon, Enough to stop the hits and scars,You think that you have gone too far, but dear master know that i will always stay right here, theres nothing to fear." Cailin said with a fierce loving look in her eyes.
"Now master feel the love...of your pets." They said holding Maura tightly as they all cried. The rain downpoured on the trio but none of them cared.
"You..You really mean that?"
"Yes. you will never hurt us." the pair said as they headed inside.
Living room:
Maura settled down to watch a movie with her pets. She smiled placing the collar on Janes neck. Cailin got a little jealous. Jane and Maura whisper to each other then smiled.
They had Cailin kneel and nodded. Jane pulled out a box as Maura held Cailin's hand.
"We weren't sure what color you liked but you can never go wrong with dark blue." Jane said.
Maura opened the box. Inside was a custom dark blue leather collar. Cailin began to cry. She also saw a dog tag on it. It read,
"Pet of Maura Isles and Jane Rizzoli." On the back are Jane and Maura's phone numbers.
Cailin shook in joy, so much so that Maura had to ask her to stop so she could latch it onto her neck. Before latching it Maura very gently and sadly kissed the brand mark on Cailins neck. Knowing the story behind it. She latched to collar onto her sister. I covered up the scar both physically and symbolically. This was the start of a new life. Maura smiled at her sister before kissing her softly. Jane smiled then also kissed the student.
The trio all sat on the couch and watched the movie.
Bedroom:
As the trio got ready for bed, Maura felt dizzy. A huge weight was lifted off her shoulders. She wasnt abusing Cailin and any doubt Meridith planted was removed forever. She looked at her pets as they stripped to boxers. She frowned at all the scars and marks that lined cailins body but shook the thought off.
She's alive. She's with us...She wants to be with us. Thats what important. I need to get her a ring too. Maura thought than yawned. Cailin and Jane cuddled on their shared mattress on the floor when Maura had a better idea.
"Pet. Cally."
"Yes ama?"
"What is it master?"
"Why dont you guys come up here tonight. There's plenty of room."
The women practically jumped at the chance to sleep on the comfy bed. they both laid on either side of Maura. Cailin laid on Maura's chest, nuzzling her breast while Jane being taller spooned Maura as best she could.
The two pets fell asleep quickly,. While Maura looked at both of them a smile crossing her face at how peaceful they looked. A peace that she brought them.
"My girls." she whispered before kissing their heads. She moaned both their names as she too descended into a peaceful sleep.
The End.
Reviews make my night. Now that you seen what an actual abusive relationship is like can you all please stop commenting that SJ is an abusive story.