The Rise and Fall of Jack and Carmen

Jack never got tired of hearing Carmen tell him how wonderful it was. They'd only been together for two months but he felt sure that Carmen was the right girl for him. It wasn't just the physical side of things, though that was great. He liked the fact that she didn't seem to mind that he drove a tatty old van, that he couldn't always afford anything more expensive than a bottle of cheap plonk and some milk tray and that she did everything he said. He was convinced she felt the same way, so why hadn't he asked yet? Fear, certainly but was it fear that she would say "no" or "yes" ?

When Adrian had been seeing Carmen and used to fall asleep talking about sex, he'd stayed awake thinking about it. He didn't want to admit it at the time but it was usually Carmen he was thinking about. It wasn't just sex either, he'd imagined being with her,having fun and spending time with her. Years ago he used to believe that if he found the right girl and had a bit of money in his pocket, he'd have everthing he wanted. Now he was in that situation so why did he find himself wanting more?

"You're going off me aren't you?" Carmen's voice penetraded his thoughts. "You've got that distant look in your eyes. Adrian used to go like that when he was going off me."

"I'm not Adrian and I'm certainly not going off that performance just now proves both those things. "

"Has your Adrian forgiven us yet?" she changed the subject.

"He's forgiven me." he answered

"That hardly seems fair. It takes two to tango."

"Well blood is thicker than water and Boswell blood is thicker than treacle. He's reserved his strongest anger for Billy though, as always."

"So does Billy not count as a Boswell then?"

"Adrian thinks Billy was swapped at birth . He's always angry with our Billy though. He doesn't need an excuse."

"Well, we won't have to worry about him much longer. When does he go to America?"

"Funny you should ask that, Carmen. There's been a bit of a change of plan. Adrian is staying here to do an art course?"

"Art? Mr 'Real Estate' fancies himself as an artist? Hmm. I've done it in artists studio.."

"Yes, well" he continued unsure whether he wanted to hear about that or not "while Adrian is being the Dingle Dali, I've decided to go to America instead."

"You?" Carmen scoffed " I could more likely see Adrian as an artist."

This wasn't the reaction Jack had expected or wanted. Was it really so ridiculous that he wanted to spread his wings a bit.

"I don't see what's so strange about it. Lots of people like to go out into the world and find themselves." he was sulking now.

"I just can't imagine you in America, all "have a nice day" and perfect smiles. You're thouroughly Liverpudlian, like me. It's one of the reasons we work so well together."

" I thought that was the sex." Jack grinned.

"I'm serious, Jack. The reason I love you is that you don't try to be something you're not. You haven't changed your name to something poncy like Hugo or Jasper or something and you don't go round refusing to eat meat on moral grounds while having a herd of cows in your wardrobe."

Jack laughed. They'd all wondered about Joey's leather obesession and how that went with the vegetarianism but none of them dared ask him about it. Jack was giggling so much he almost missed that little word.

"Did you say love?"

Carmen nodded

" I love you too Carmen. That's why I was going to ask you to come with me."

"What? To America?"

"Where else?"

"I don't know Jack, my heart belongs here . All my friends and my family are here and though we're not Boswell close, we are close."

Jack remembered Adrian saying Carmen's family were quite close knit, that's why she didn't object to coming to family gatherings unlike Julie and Roxy . Jack had always fantasised that Carmen came along to these things to get to know him better.

"You'll be great in America. " Jack continued ignoring her objections. "Eddie won't mind, in fact he'll be glad to have you with your shop work experience and the clients will love you."

"I thought his customers were all gay" Carmen answered.

"They are, but gay men love glamouress women, and think of the places we could do it."

This seemed to be the magic word for Carmen who liked the idea of doing it at the Hollywood sign. She reeled off a number of other famous landmarks in America where she wanted to do it, revealing her lack of geographical knowledge in the process and for the first time Jack empathised with Adrian and how exhausting he'd found his relationship with Carmen.

'This isn't an extended holiday bonkathon Carmen. I'm going out there for a job and chance to find myself.'

'I don't see why you have to go to America to do that.'

'Family dynamics mean I don't really have a role over here. Think about it. Everyone else has an identity. Joey is the oldest, Aveline is the only daughter, Billy is the youngest and Adrian has A-levels. What am I? I'm not as cool and savvy as Joey or as academic as Adrian and I'm not a dad like Billy.'

' You are starting to sound like Adrian. Now listen to me, you're the nice ,normal one and you've got me. I'm coming to America with you, now shut up and remind me why.'

With that she had his shirt buttons undone once more and he was back to being wonderful again.

Jack felt relived that she had said yes, but he still had the hardest bit of telling his family. They had not been exactly thrilled that he was dating Carmen and only tolerated the relationship because they assumed it would end with him going to America, and they only accepted him going to America as they thought it would be the end of him and Carmen.

He would need someomne on side on his side when he told them. Maybe he should talk to Joey first.

'This is a bit sudden isn't son? You haven't known each other that long' was Joey's reaction when Jack broached the subject with him.

'About as long as you'd known Roxy when you moved in together' Jack answered.

'Well that didn't exactly work out did it? And we lived in the same city. You've got a long way to come home if things go wrong'

' I know but that will make us more detmined to make it work'

' You'll be living together and working together and all in a new country without friends and family round you. Are you sure you have thought this through?'

Jack was quiet. He hadn't really considered that, so determined was he that he and Carmen were about to ride off into the sunset together. Joey sensed his uncertainty.

'I will be honest with you Jack. I think you are making a mistake and it's my duty as a big brother to tell you. However, I won't stand in your way and I'll be there when you tell the others.'

'Thanks Joey. It will all be ok.'

Joey looked at Jack with a mix of cynicism and regret. ' One more thing Jack. Tell Adrian before Billy finds out.'

Jack winced as he remembered first telling Adrian about him and Carmen and how Billy had ruined it but he found Adrian in a more sanguine mood this time around.

' I'm a little bit surprised. I always think of you as a true Scouser, the heart that keeps this city going. Carmen too actually'

'Funny. Carmen said something similar.' answered Jack who was slighly worried that Adrian seemed to know Carmen better than he did. 'You're being very understanding.'

' I owe you, for taking me on when I lost my job and I know I was a bit of and hindrance in the early days. Besides which I admire you Jack for having the guts to do this, move away, move in with someone. I'm always far too scared.'

'You won't always be, Adrian' Jack answered. He had this conversation before and he was bored by it, but Joey and Adrian's reactions to his news had made him doubt his decision. Joey, uncharacteristically had decribed it as a mistake and Adrian said it was brave, Jack didn't think it was any of those things. Surely it was normal to want to take the next step with the person you love and he knew without a doubt that he did love Carmen so whay was it so hard for him to get Joey's words' You're making a mistake' out of his head?