The Marauders were hanging out on the stairs of a building, watching Lucius Malfoy, Snape, Arthur Weasley, Gilderoy Lockhart, and a kid named Jeffery.
"You know what they call themselves? The Deborters", said James with a flourish.
"Wonder who they're trying to copy", said Remus
"The Beatles", said Peter
"No Peter, they're copying us", the other three said in unison.
Peter charged at them, but Remus stopped him before he could do anything to them.
"Look", said James, striking a pose.
The five at the top of the stairs had a whispered conversation and Lucius Malfoy copied James.
"See?", he said, lowering his arms
"Look, just ignore it and they'll stop. No violence, no pranks, no death", Remus said aiming each one at Peter, Sirius, and James.
" Yeah, and let's ignore the next full moon", said James sarcastically as he jumped down the stairs, closely followed by the other Marauders and the Deborters.
With James
James was standing around when Lucius Malfoy walked behind him. James struck many different poses and watched as Malfoy mirrored every move he made. He eventually turned around and watched as Malfoy tried to pretend that he hadn't been doing anything.
"Get Lost!", he said, storming off
With Peter
Peter had undone his tie and was pulling it with both hands. Jeffery and Snape sat next to him and copied him as he pulled his tie from side to side. Eventually Peter ran off yelling, "No, No, No". When they saw him run off, they shared a smirk before going off and following him.
With Sirius
Sirius was hanging out with Sarah, a Hufflepuff he'd been going out with.
"So, you enjoy last week?", he asked
"Yeah"
"Ready to do that again?"
"Oh, Yeah"
Suddenly, Arthur Weasley walked up. " 'Sup my name's Arthur, biggest wand in the school"
"Whoa, whoa, you do not have the biggest wand in the school", said Sirius
"Yes I do"
"No, everyone's noticed I've got the biggest wand in the school"
Sarah slipped away, though neither boy seemed to notice.
"Get your wand out", said Arthur
"No, you get your wand out"
They both whipped out their wands at the same time.
"Well, your's is mostly handle, MOLLY"
"I hate you", said Arthur, walking off
Molly Weasley came over, "Yes Sirius"
"I hate to tell you, but Arthur's been hitting on another girl"
"MY RAGE!", she yelled, running after him.
Sirius motioned to Sarah, who walked over, "Astronomy Tower?", she asked. Sirius just nodded as they walked off.
With Remus
Remus was sitting on a bench reading when Gilderoy Lockhart came up to him and sat down.
"Whatcha reading, Remus?"
"Hogwarts A History"
"Huh, so am I. What chapter are you on?"
"27"
"So am I", said Gilderoy, flipping to the chapter.
Remus closed his book, "Well, it's a full moon tonight, so I guess I'll be turning into a werewolf"
"So would I, werewolf buddies", said Lockhart, holding up his fist.
The comment hit a little close to home, and Remus stormed off.
"OMG, how do you become a werewolf?"
James was talking to Sirius about how Malfoy was copying him.
"So I'm just doing the usual poses, I turn around, and Malfoy's mirroring every move I make"
"Yeah, Arthur was hitting on Sarah and saying he had the biggest wand in the school.
Peter walked up to them looking stressed, "Snape and Jeffery with the tie", he explained.
Remus stormed up to them. "I'm going to assume the same thing"
"Gilderoy is trying to be a werewolf"
"Great, now there's only two gay werewolves in the school", joked Sirius
"Very funny"
"We need a way to stop this", said James
"But how?",asked Sirius
"We could bring them down from the inside, put one of us in their gang and that person brings them down inside out.", said Remus
"I'm not doing its, I don't want to be with Snape", said Sirius
"Who's the most dispersible?", asked James, as he, Sirius, and Remus looked at Peter.
"What?", he asked when he saw them staring at him.
"Your time has come", said James, clapping him on the back.
Peter nearly collapsed from happiness. After a few seconds celebration, he became Sirius and asked, "What am I doing?"
"Here's the plan", said James
Later
James went up to Peter and said, "Peter, you are obviously too cool for the Marauders, whatever group had you in it would have to be much cooler than us, I'm sorry"
Remus was next, "Oh Peter, you're too smart and I can't have someone getting better marks than me, I'm sorry", he said, and ran off to find James
Sirius was last, "Yeah, Bye"
"Oh, no, what do I do, who will I turn to, will I ever have any true friends?", said Peter
The Deborters peeked out from behind the column he was leaning on and surrounded him.
"Well, I couldn't help but notice your dramatic let-down. We have a group too", said Lucius Malfoy
"Fantastic, can I join?"
Lucius, Snape, Arthur, and Gilderoy huddled up. When Jeffery tried to join, they pushed him away. They quickly made their decision.
"So Peter, we've decided that we will allow you to join our group. The five of us will rule the school"
"Six of us", corrected Jeffery
"As he said, 5 of us", said Snape
"Well, this way, gentlemen, I will take care of the peasant."
"Stay", she said, pointing to Jeffery as he backed up toward the rest of the group. "Stay"
"Gilderoy, could I have a moment with you over there right now, yeah?", asked Peter
"Sure", said Gilderoy, standing up at once.
"Well, what did you want to tell me Peter?"
"Well, this is hard for me to tell you, but Lucius said you're not a natural blonde"
Gilderoy started crying as he walked back to the group, and Peter could barely control his laughter. When they got back to the group, Peter asked for a moment with Lucius.
"What was it you wanted to tell me?"
"Well, this is hard for me to tell you, but you guys are like family now, right?"
"Don't worry, you can tell me"
"Well, Gilderoy said you're not a natural blonde", he said quickly
Lucius was about to cry, but she said, "Come again"
"He said you're not a natural blonde"
They walked back to the group. "Arthur, Snape, didn't you want to show me that thing over there?", asked Peter. Snape and Arthur, who could obviously tell there was something wrong between Lucius and Gilderoy, picked up quickly. "Yeah, yeah"
After they left, Lucius and Gilderoy avoided each other's gaze for a while.
"Gilderoy, what is this treachery you've been spreading about me not being a natural blonde, you know how much I care for my own hair"
"You've been saying the same thing, and I've said nothing of the sort"
"Gilderoy"
"Lucius"
"I love you as one man can love another"
"I feel the same way"
"I'm glad we talked this out", said Lucius
"Yeah, they're always this way", said Snape
"Well, what'd you want to tell us Peter?", they asked as they sat down on a bench
"Well, this is hard for me to tell you, but we're like, friends now, right, anyways, Gilderoy and Lucius are planning on kicking you out"
"What!?"
"Yeah, they said something about them being blonde and you not, them being rich and you not, it's not like I'm purposely trying to sabotage you or anything for the Marauders, so they can be the coolest group in the school again, but I thought it'd be right to tell you the truth"
"Those twats"
"Let's shank 'em"
Snape nodded, and they both got up.
With the Marauders
Peter poked his head through the rail over the bench where the Marauders were sitting. "Hey guys, plan break up the Deborters is going perfectly, they're all turning on each other, Gilderoy and Lucius, history"
"Peter, you can't be seen with us", said Remus
"Good-bye", said James, shoving Peter's head back to the other side of the railing. "Everything is going according to plan, exit stage right"
Jeffery, the kid that had been kicked out of the Deborters, had been listening and watching the whole time. "Ah-ha"
With the Deborters
"Oi, what's this about kicking us out?"
"We're not kicking you out"
"Not blonde enough"
"Not rich enough"
"True, being blonde and rich does make you superior"
Jeffery ran up and stopped them. "Peter's working for the Marauders, they're trying to split us all up.
"Let's shank 'em"
"No, if they want us to split up, them we will "split up", come"
The four remaining Deborters pretended to fight and break up, pushing each other around and yelling at each other. When Arthur actually punched Lucius, the rest of the gang got mad at him.
"You actually punched him!", exclaimed Gilderoy
"You actually punched me!", yelled Lucius
"You weren't supposed to actually punch him!", said Snape
The four of them all went their separate ways.
Peter walked up to the Marauders, speechless, he made hand motions, but couldn't seem to talk.
"Well, I'm going to lessons", said Remus
"Oh, lessons, we should go too Sirius", said James
"Wait, guys, aren't I getting rewarded for what I did? James Potter I will never fail you again(O_O O_O O_O O_O)."