A/N: Heavily inspired by 5x03, 7x01 & WISC. It's not exactly a poem, but it's not a song either. It's a reflection in the form of a poem rather than a full story. It can be interpreted as you please. Pls R&R.
He cannot be a lover when he does not believe in love.
He cannot be a believer when he doesn't know how to believe.
All he has ever seen is anger, blood and hatred..
..for he does not see the world as others do.
There is no distinction between imagination and reality when all he ever sees is worst of it,
..as if he has never seen the color beyond the greyscale of the world.
He is the puppet in a world of the people who act as puppeteers, who use him as a scapegoat for the things they need to.
And he accepts because he believes it's what he should do as a subordinate. As the youngest in age within his group of colleagues.
He lacks the control he wishes he had.
As he glances into the nearest reflective surface and all he sees is the color of blood as it drips down his pale skin..
'I bleed because I'm human' he tells himself, not a single sign of emotion upon his face.
He covered for the person really lost the money in the death pool..
..it had never been him.
The only thing he truly took a gamble on was his life.
How much longer he'd live with the guilt of the many secrets he refuses to let people know..
Because once they get too close, they will discover the things he'd rather remain unknown..
With every new scar, comes another story he wishes to forget.
A memory that becomes a reoccurring nightmare.
Another reason that makes him want to scream for help..
..but nobody hears a thing.
He's on his own,
..helplessly begging for someone to free him from this bête noire.
Losing the color in his eyes that is a grey rather than a once beautiful hazel,
..he wants it to end.
Pleads to God to have mercy on him as lacerations form in the distinct pattern he'd been seeing since he was a kid,
'Am I still alive?' he wonders as he hears the repeated sound of metal clanking with every movement.
The echo of a gunshot rings in his ears as a state of shock over takes his whole body,
'BANG! BANG!' .. your debt.