Zoro learned long ago that his crew is utterly exhausting. Even more exhausting when he's stuck trucking through two feet of snow after them, stopping to lift Chopper up over any banks that are taller than he is. Ahead of them, Usopp and Nami stumble along, the cook fluttering around to help Nami and Robin whenever they trip in the heavy snow. Luffy, per usual, bounds ahead without hesitation or thought.
Because why would his idiotic captain every be careful? If Luffy was careful, who would give Zoro gray hairs? Which, he absolutely will not admit that he has.
Usopp starts it. Zoro makes a mental note to yell at the sniper for it as soon as he gets the chance. Luffy says something stupid and Usopp lops a snowball after him. It's all downhill from there. The ensuing snowball fight is more of a snowball war. Chopper joins in when a stay snowball hits him and the cook starts kicking snowballs at Luffy in order to defend his dear Nami-swan and Robin-chawn.
Zoro finds himself pelted with snowballs within mere moments. "Luffy, you bastard!"
Luffy laughs wildly and bounds away. Zoro chucks a snowball after him but the captain darts out of the way before it can reach him. That slippery little brat. Chopper giggles madly, running to hide behind Zoro's leg. Snow and ice matt his fur. It's going to take a long, warm bath and at least an hour of brushing to fix it.
"Save me, Zoro," the little doctor cries, hooves digging into Zoro's pant legs.
"Oi, oi, get off me, Chopper."
Another snowball slams into Zoro's cheek. "You shitty cook! I'll kill you!"
"Bring it on, shitty swordsman."
Zoro ducks to the ground, scooping up a handful of snow and whips the snowball at the cook. Robin's arms sprout out around them, throwing snowballs left and right. Nami screeches when one hits her and hides behind the cook for protection. The idiot noodles around with excitement. Smirking, Zoro throws a snowball at his face, hitting him directly in the nose.
"You son of a bitch!"
Zoro dodges the snowball Luffy flings his way, only to be hit in the ass by one from Usopp. The sniper laughs hysterically, diving behind a large snowbank before Zoro can nail him back. Chopper cheers him on, Luffy laughing as he dodges around the others and heads out for a place with better snow.
A loud crack splits the air. Zoro's blood freezes and he spins around, letting multiple snowballs hit him in the back, and watches his captain vanish.
"Luffy!" Chopper cries.
"Shit, there must be a river," the cook calls.
"Swordsman-san, wait!"
Zoro ignores them all and bolts. Luffy can't swim. The idiot will either drown or freeze to death. God, why does he have to follow this moron? Why did he have to choose to put his faith in Luffy?
He barely remembers to throw his katana to the ground before his feet hit the frozen water, kicking off his boots and shedding his winter coat. When he pulls Luffy out, he'll need something warm to wrap around his idiot captain. Smaller cracks ring out, the ice shifting beneath his weight.
"Zoro, no!" Nami screams.
Freezing water causes his heart to stutter and stings his eyes. His muscles seize up, trying to fold in on him. Zoro fights it. He trained for this, swimming in the frozen water of Drum Island. What good was that if he can't force his limbs to work under these conditions? It's a matter of will and determination.
Mind over matter. It's always mind over matter.
Zoro forces his eyes to focus, blinking the fuzziness out of his eyes to spot his captain, sinking like an anchor. Pressure pushes against his lungs but he ignores it, shoving himself down in a dive. Each stroke takes more effort than the last. Ice tries to form on his arms, skin freezing beneath the cold water.
Luffy's eyes are wide with surprise when Zoro reaches him, wrapping an arm around the captain's waist. His legs struggle to kick upward. Both his ears pop painfully, skin stinging against the frozen water. His ear drums must have ruptured. There's liquid pooling in his ears.
Luffy, he tells himself.
He has Luffy. His heavy limbs can't give in now.
He has Luffy.
His fingers brush ice.
Because the current slamming into him has moved them without Zoro noticing. Which way did it take him? Shit, which way are the others
His mouth fights him, tries to open despite his mind screaming it's a terrible idea. Fire engulfs his lungs, desperate for the sweet taste of oxygen. But he can't open his mouth. If he opens his mouth, he and Luffy are both going to drown.
Water slows his swing, but the ice above him begins to crack. Like a thousand little spiderwebs spreading above his head. Zoro slams his fist into the ice again. It bends but doesn't break. His lips part, teeth still clenched together. Ice water bites into his teeth and gums.
Dozens of little needles split his skin as the ice breaks, making room for Zoro's fist. Ice cuts into his skin as he forces himself and Luffy out of the small hole. Red spills across the ice. Zoro gasps, greedily sunking in oxygen as he claws at the ice around him to try and fight the current pulling at his feet.
Luffy coughs harshly beside him, laying limb as Zoro drags him onto the ice.
"Sanji-kun!" Nami's shout makes it past Zoro's water clogged ears. "There!"
The drop a few inches back into the water when the current catches Zoro's feet. A few of his nails snap as he tries to fight it. But, there's too much weight between him and Luffy. There's too much weight and the current has them both.
Tightening his grip on Luffy's vest, Zoro forces his arm to work. He rips his captain out of the water, throwing him as far from the hole as he can make it. Luffy rolls uselessly, still gasping and hacking.
With both hands free, Zoro scratches at the ice again. His nails fight to find a grip on the slick surface. But that's alright.
Luffy is safe. Luffy is on dry land, safe.
Zoro's body grows heavier. The current grows stronger.
"Oi! Hold on, shithead. Don't let go." Somewhere beyond his vision, the cook is shouting at him.
Why is that asshole always yelling at him? Zoro hasn't even done anything to him or his shitty "ladies".
His muscles seize again, fingertips slipping uselessly. Blood from his ruined fingers trails across the ice as they slip away.
"Zoro, you son of a bitch! Hold on!"
The water doesn't burn as badly this time. Doesn't cause his chest to skip a beat. Exhaustion pulls his heavy eyelids down, frozen limbs refusing to work as Zoro sinks down. Black water closes in.
Nope. Nope. This isn't how it ends. Because, Zoro won't die to anything short of Mihawk's blade.
But apparently no one told his traitorous arms and legs that.
He sinks like a stone.
Fuck. Fuck.
Work. Work. Work.
Nothing does.
Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.
Then he's rising. Oxygen slams into his lungs so suddenly, Zoro thinks his chest might explode.
"I've got him!" the cook shouts in his ear. "Pull, Usopp!"
Well, shit.
"You stupid, stupid, son of a bitch," the cook rants in his ears. "Jumping into the water without any thought of the consequences. This is a new suit."
"Shut up," Zoro tries to say. But comes out as a slurred "Sst p" as the black takes over and awareness fades away.
Weight sits on every part of Zoro's body as he climbs back into consciousness. His right arm is asleep, pinned down beneath something heavy. Something else is curled against his left side. The warmth surrounding him is almost overwhelming.
Zoro forces his eyes open. Moonlight streams into the gallery. Blinking heavily, he looks around. Chopper has both of his arms wrapped in thick bandages, from his shoulders to his fingertips. The small doctor sleeps soundly on his chest, curled tightly. Luffy has himself flung against Zoro's right side, pinning his right arm down, and Nami has her head resting on his left shoulder. Usopp snores soundly from his place on Zoro's legs.
"Doctor-san said you needed body heat," a voice says from the table.
Forcing his head to work, Zoro glances over at Robin. She flips a page in her book, lamp light low, and smiles at him.
"That was very dangerous, swordsman-san. You gave our crew quite the scare"
Zoro lets out a hum, glancing at his sleeping captain. "Woulda had a crew with no captain."
"Perhaps not. But, please be a tad more considerate in the future."
"My swords?"
Sleep begins to pull him back under. Exhaustion clouds his brain. Its warm, safe, soft.
"Cook-san put them over there." She gestures across the room. Zoro can't find the energy to look in that direction. "He ranted rather furiously about the black one trying to cut him."
Another hum leaves his lips, eyes closing again. "Shouldn't touch my shit."
Robin laughs softly. "Good night, swordsman-san. Sleep well. I believe our doctor has some words for you in the morning."
Of course he does. Because Chopper always has words for Zoro. But, it doesn't matter. Every member of this crew is safe and Zoro managed not to drown. Everyone is warm and safe.
Tomorrow, he'll worry about a lecture.
Tonight, he enjoys the warmth of his safe nakama curled around him.