Disclaimer: I do not own The Hunger Games Trilogy. Suzanne Collins does. This is written for entertainment purposes only.
HAYMITCH'S POV
Another damn nightmare jolted me awake, and had me disturbed.
That's the only thing the Hunger Games will give you. Trauma. The fame and glory was nothing, but a lie. It's meaningless.
It's been hard for me to sleep. The mental images of my Hunger Games was constantly replaying inside my mind. It was very vivid like I still remember it happening just yesterday.
Nothing could make it go away.
Honestly, the only thing that made me forget about everything what I've endured in that hellhole arena was alcohol. The liquid became my best friend. I just drank and drank and drank until I passed out, and suffered the consequences for it in the morning.
The only thing that kept me sane and going was my family. My girl. She was pregnant with our kid. I know, I know, we're only sixteen. Too young to be parents, but hey, accidents happen. I never wanted to have kids of my own because of the games, but Raine didn't want the alternative which was to put the baby in a community home. Abortions wasn't allowed here in Twelve because we don't really have a hospital. In the Seam, we only have a healer.
I'm lucky enough to even be alive right now. But I'm not on the Capitol's good side. The shitty President Snow hates my guts. I've found a flaw in their arena, and used it to my advantage. It saved my life from the psycho female District 1 tribute with the axe, but it also ruined my life.
After I was crowned Victor, Snow murdered my entire family and my girl. I couldn't believe he would stoop so low to kill a pregnant girl, but who was I kidding? This was the man who had kids murdering kids for the public's entertainment! I wouldn't put it passed him.
When I got reaped, my girl, Raine, was nine months pregnant, and was going to give birth any day. I figured she had to have given birth or was still pregnant when I was in the arena. It was hard for me not to know what happened with her while I was gone, but it was the hope that I'd be back for her was what made me push through.
But after my stunt, it was my fault for ruining everything. They've died because of me.
My family. My girl. My unborn child.
There was no energy left in me to keep on going. Except for the growling in my stomach that wanted food. I didn't eat for days, and hardly drank anything. Well, I only drank beer. Now, I figured I should eat something since I'm awake and hungry.
I searched for food in the fridge that I was able to make breakfast out of. Some eggs, toast, and bacon. As a Victor, you're loaded with money which was fortunate for me, but it didn't feel right to have it.
It was dirty money. I've earned this because of murder.
After eating breakfast, there was nothing much for me to do. Other than to get wasted was a good idea. I'm on my second bottle of beer now, and before I could finish it, there was knocking on the door.
Who in the hell could that be?
I groaned as I get up from the couch, and approached the door to open it. I was surprised to see a familiar face.
It was Zinnia. She was Raine's best friend.
The gentle breeze blew through her chestnut hair, and her gray eyes looked up at me.
My heart ached thinking about Raine. It's been a long time since another pair of gray eyes looked at me.
"Haymitch, you look..." Her eyes scanned me up and down in shock. She never saw me in this state before. "Terrible."
"Thanks for the compliment." I grunted, rolling my eyes.
"When was the last time you've bathed?" She asked like a nagging mother.
"Not sure..." I shrugged carelessly.
My appearance always looked like I just got out of bed. At least I changed my clothes.
"Haymitch, you've really got to start taking better care of yourself." She lectured me.
"Is this the only reason why you came to nag at me?" I asked being irritated.
"No, I-"
Zinnia was cradling something small in her arms that was wrapped around in blankets. It just made a small, tiny whimper. She softly cooed at it.
The last time I checked Zinnia wasn't pregnant.
"Whose baby is that?" I wondered.
"Yours." She looked at me.
My mind couldn't comprehend what she just told me.
The baby is...mine?
"Mine?" I said aloud unable to fathom it. "How...?"
"Raine gave birth to the baby while you were in the arena. After the stunt you've pulled, she knew the Capitol was going to come after them and your family. Raine gave the baby off to me, so she wouldn't get killed. She's been with my family, and I took it as my responsibility to take care of her. It was a good thing you two kept this whole pregnancy to yourselves, and that you didn't reveal it in your interviews."
Teenage pregnancies were majorly frowned upon here. It's bad enough that Twelve was the poorest district in Panem, but to add two young kids who was about to become parents in the mix wasn't good. We couldn't afford to have a child.
But I'm a different case. Being a Victor gave me a lot of money which would support my child.
Raine mostly stayed inside her home to do school and not get judged. I did everything for her. She was busy taking care of her mother who wasn't all the mentally way there. Since I did my stunt, I'm sure Raine's mother got killed, too.
"Of course I wouldn't," I scowled. "Definitely not to them," My eyes glanced down at the baby bundle she was cradling. "So...is it a boy or a girl?"
"Girl," Zinnia answered. "Raine wanted her daughter to be named Ember, remember?"
"Yes," I remember that we talked about baby names before. "Can I...?" I drifted off wanting to hold my daughter. My baby girl.
"Of course. Here," She passed my baby to me, and I got to hold her for the first time. "You've got to clean your act up more, Haymitch. You need to be a father for her now. Imagine if the Peacekeepers will see you in this state constantly, and send Ember to the community home? Imagine what Raine will think of you being like this?"
I was about to snap off at her for bringing up Raine, but I knew she was right. She would be disappointed in me that I turned out to be an alcoholic. I felt myself slowly slipping away, and thought about suicide, but now...
My daughter was the only one who kept me going.
"You're right. I will get better. For her." I promised.
I only looked down at Ember watching her sleep, her little chest rising up and down. Her eyes were closed so I couldn't see what was her color, but there was a tuft of dark brown hair growing. So, I can only assume her eyes will be gray like ours.
"Good. She's a wonderful baby sometimes, but I think she even knows what happened. It's been hard for me to get her to sleep without her mother. She only has you."
"We have each other." I realized.
"Are you sure you'll be able to do this?" Zinnia asked warily with a raised eyebrow, and her arms crossed.
"Yes." I answered couldn't help feeling defensive. It was like she doubted me. My gray eyes mirrored hers.
"What about when you have to mentor others?"
Good point. It's not like I could take her with. I'll be too busy training the other unfortunate tributes.
"Could you take care of her while I'm gone?" I hoped.
"Yes, Haymitch." She answered, and I was relieved.
"Thank you for bringing my daughter to me." I said gratefully.
"It was the first thing I promised Raine that I would do." She replied seriously.
There was a few spare bedrooms I have that could get turned into a nursery. But could I really leave Ember to sleep alone by herself?
So, I hold off the nursery for now, and let her sleep with me. I brought other baby supplies like a crib, and put it next to my bed on my side where I often sleep.
It was hard to get through the nights with a crying baby and the other joys of fatherhood. Especially, being a single parent. But I managed to get by.
When Ember gets older, I don't know what I'll do. What will she think of me that I'm a Victor? That I killed other kids? How will she react when she'll know what happened to her family? Would she hate me?
The next question became my worst fear.
What if she got reaped into the Hunger Games?
It's obvious that the Victor's children purposely get reaped into the games. That's rigged. It just means more drama and entertainment.
If she happened to get reaped, I'll have to mentor her. And from the stunt that I did, she'll have more of a chance to be in the arena as revenge against me. That made my stomach sick just thinking about it.
But when I watch Ember asleep being safe and sound in her crib, I knew that would be years later into her future.
Who knows? Maybe I'll be lucky, and she won't be in the Hunger Games.
***12 Years Later***
It's hard to believe that twelve years gone by so fast. Ember's grown so much now that she's twelve. I was looking for any similarities of her mother, and she looked exactly like her. Except her attitude was purely me. Nothing that I'm too proud or fond of because we do argue. A lot.
Like right now for example. I'm trying to make her get up, but she wouldn't. She's still under those covers being asleep, but I knew she could hear me.
"C'mon, Ember! Wake up, dammit!" I exclaimed at her. She childishly groaned in protest. "Don't make me rip these covers off of you!"
That only made her pull it up closer to chin, and she snuggled underneath them comfortably. I sighed, rolling my eyes. Using much strength and force, I ripped the covers from her just like I dared I would. Now, she was bare with only her pajamas on.
"Hey!" Ember cried being awake now.
"Look who's up," I teased, and she glared at me, scowling. Yep. Those looks and mannerisms were so me. "We don't have much time. Just get bathed, dressed, and eat something quick."
"I'm not going!" She argued.
"Ember, how many times do we have to go over this?" I sighed again, about to lose my patience with her. "You have no choice, but to go. Just get ready now."
"But what if I-" She asked in a small, scared voice that I knew what it was going to be.
"No buts," I ordered. "Get ready."
I couldn't provide any answer to that. I wouldn't know what to say. She could've asked anything. What if I get reaped? What if I wouldn't make it? Those were the questions I couldn't face.
That's when I closed the door, and left her alone.
How should have I answered her anyway? Give her false hope or the ugly truth? Neither would do good for her.
I knew what she was scared of. It's the Reaping Ceremony today, and there was a very good chance the odds wouldn't be in her favor. It could be her turn to go into the arena. I just couldn't talk to her about it, and maybe she didn't want to talk to me about it either. It's better for me to ignore the fact that my daughter will be amongst the other twelve year olds. Ember didn't realize how much I've dreaded for this day.
After she gotten ready and dressed, I told her that I'll meet her at the square soon. She went off with her friends, and I needed some alcohol in me to get through the day.
At the ceremony, I'm tipsy, but not drunk. I could tell the difference. I was with the others on the stage such as Mayor Undersee and the newest escort, Effie Trinkett, from the Capitol. After all the intros were over with, then came who'd be picked.
I didn't have the best of luck being a mentor. I could barely bring my tribute back home. Some of them I thought actually had a chance, but they died out in the end. I couldn't have the same fate for my daughter. I didn't want to have her death on my conscience, too.
"Ladies first!" Effie said in her ridiculous Capitol accent. She was dressed like them, too.
Not Ember, not Ember, not Ember... I chanted inside my mind like a prayer. I knew she'd be doing the same for herself. She was terrified for this moment. I couldn't search for her face in the crowd. I didn't want to see her reaction if she did get called.
Effie pulled a slip out of the glass reaping ball, and went back to the podium. She unfolded the small piece of paper to announce:
"Cinder Clay."
A wave of relief washed over me, but I kept my face emotionless to not expose my blatant favoritism and love to my daughter.
Cinder was a very skinny Seam girl seeing her dark brown hair and gray eyes. She was twelve years old just like Ember which made it worse. I wonder if Ember was friends with her. Cinder looked nervous to approach to the stage with Effie, but her gray eyes seemed to be determined.
Effie pulled out another slip for the boys. "Now, for the gentleman."
Just like what she did with Cinder, she did the same thing for the male tribute.
"Silas Helms."
A sixteen year old boy from the town. His eyes were blue and his hair was a dirty blonde color. Seems to be fit and strong enough. I recognized his family's last name; they were known for their shop being carpenters.
As much as I felt relief that Ember didn't get reaped, there was always the next chance.
The question was when would that be?