Pain, a burning, tearing pain. A pain so deep and sharp that he could hardly breathe. All Faris knew at the moment was that he was in pain, and that his magic was gone. His friends surrounded him, and he could even see his mother who gripped him and cried and pet his scarlet-red-hair. He closed his eyes, reaching for the part of his mind that let him access magic, the tiny portion of his mind that had been with him since he was born. The section of his mind he had sequestered Damien into in his foolishness. Try as he did, he felt nothing. He looked at his friends and family, concern and grief on their faces as they looked at his hurt, emaciated form. He wanted to be alone in his despair, he wanted to lash out to be left alone, to grieve alone.

"Guys…" He whispered, dropping the stone. As they looked at him, he cracked open a half smile. "You look like you're witnessing a funeral. What poor shmuck got all of you so worried?" Fighting through the tears attempting to well in his eyes he smiled as their faces half-softened, half-filled with relief.

His mother hugged him gently. "Faris… my baby boy… are you alright?"

Faris trembled as he hugged her back, keeping the hurt out of his voice, he half chuckled. "You should see the other guys…" His voice broke, "Sorry for worrying you…" Tears began streaming down his face.

"He needs rest." Sona gently said, putting down her staff. "He's survived the worst of it, and will live." She turned to Vulcan, "Thank you."

Vulcan gave a short bow, "No, it was my orodûm, my obligation." He looked at Faris, "Besides, Volund saved the boy's life, I just provided the energy to keep him from losing his life until then. And even then…" He looked down. Everyone quieted at this.

Faris felt an impotent rage, but even despite this, he spoke up. "Come on… guys?" He smiled, even as every second his soul tore at him. "I'm not stupid, I lost my magic." They flinched at the brusqueness of his statement; his voice flat.
I'm a failure, I'm a loser.
"You guys won, you saved my lives."
Dying would have been better.
"Other people died trying to save me, if loosing my magic saved my life, it was worth it, right?"
They must fear me, maybe it's better I'm without anything.
"Besides, that shade was… dangerous, crazy, it's better I'm not a ticking timebomb right?"

"Actually…" Sona said with a pained expression. "No one reported the spirits leaving your body, while your personality and mannerisms seem to be normal, we can't yet make the determination…"

Faris looked at his friends, at his parents, then at Angela, Elva, and Solembum. He turned to stare at Sona. "Oh…" Crying freely now he smiled, "That's great, so, what cell will you put me in now?"

"No one's putting you anywhere!" His mother shouted, holding him close. "We…"

"We will have to keep a close eye on you Faris…" He turned to see Nasuada, who continued. "I'm sorry, you were imprisoned unfairly. Your trial was both a mix of petty revenge and politics. The ones behind it were punished. And Rembrant was executed for being a traitor, if that's any consolation."

Faris smiled, "It isn't, nor will it ever be." He looked into her eyes, and looked behind her, seeing her handmaiden Hannah, but not Trianna. Looking back into Nasuada's eyes, his smile broke. "But thank you for letting me know." He got himself out of his mother's grasp, the effort leaving him nearly exhausted. Lying back on the bed he looked at Venka, who was the most distraught, then to his father, who had a look of helpless anger and despair that Faris felt on the inside. "Anyways, I sincerely do thank you all, but let me sleep." Faris pulled the covers and turned, facing the opposite wall and closing his eyes.

Outside his room, and out of earshot, Haya whispered to Elva. "What was his greatest pain? I need to know."

Elva smiled at Haya, "That he wouldn't see his parents again."

Haya's eyes softened, but sharpened again, "You're lying to me."

Elva shook her head. "I'm half lying."

"Then what is he talking about! You knew this would happen! Didn't you!" Haya's anger made Elva flinch. "Was he a sacrifice to save this city! A necessary loss?"

"NO!" Elva shouted back, "No he wasn't! But this was the only option! If we tried to save him, we might have saved his magic, but then the city would have been destroyed, and the kingdom alongside it! Where would we have hidden, amongst the dwarves? Who are still fighting amongst themselves! The elves, would they even accept you?!"

Haya bristled, but before she could respond Bergan grabbed her hand, and made a subtle motion to the first years, who stood silent in a group, watching with confused eyes.

Gone were the competent magic users, at the moment children who almost lost a friend and now had to deal with a different trial.

"I knew we would be punished… but, we were…" Morgan trembled.

"It's my fault, I convinced you to come with me." Venka's tears dripped freely.

Katya sighed, "That's not fair though, we knew what we were getting into." She looked towards the room. "And Faris… he lost his magic."

"We… we don't know if it's Faris…" Nya trembled.

"How could you say that?" Morgan asked. "He's our friend, regardless, he kept himself from hurting us. He was fighting that thing."

"Yeah, but he was keeping secrets." Nya muttered, "You felt his mind, it was splintered, multiple… minds? Consciousnesses? It doesn't matter, they were fighting against that shade, yet, whenever we spoke to him, connected our minds, we didn't feel it, he didn't tell us? He didn't trust us." She grits her teeth. "He's not even grateful."

"Of course, he is!" Morgan exclaimed, "What are you talking a-"

"What would you do without your magic Morgan?" Bartholomew sighed, "Doesn't matter how gracious he is, we've seen it, mages who've committed grave crimes, stripped of their magic, they lose their sanity. Doesn't matter how strong of will he is, he must feel empty, especially if those… whatever it was, was tied to his magic." They continued to talk and argue.

"What is the plan?" Sona asked. It hurt her to see her daughter so crushed, and as a protector of life mage she felt responsible for every life she hadn't been able to save. Turning to Nasuada she asked for both direction and leadership.

"We need a new head of the 13." Nasuada raised a hand to Seya's and Sona's protests. "Jaya abdicated, he's taking responsibility for the attack getting as deep as it did, whilst navigating the majority of the blame to the anti-mage faction."

"He… he never cared about personal political power." Sona muttered bitterly. "One attack, and we're breaking apart like this."

Vulcan kept his thoughts to himself cursing the black hand under his breath with his worse dwarven oaths. "There is a reckoning, but first, we must rebuild."

Nasuada nodded. "Luckily, thanks to your efforts." She turned to Haya, Bergan, Angela, Solembum, and Elva, "The city's power core wasn't destroyed. They aimed for our train yard and technology district, our power core, and the main castle tower, our heart, mind, and soul, figuratively." She glances at Elva, "And much like Elva said, perhaps you would have been able to save your son had you not spent your time defending our city." She thought to her father's sacrifices, being unable to spend time with his daughter due to his concentration and work keeping the Varden together. She bowed, despite Sona's and her maid's protests. "We owe you a great debt, and I owe you, the greatest of apologies, I promised your son's safety Ard Amina."

"My name is Haya Ser, I cast that name away a long time ago." Haya responded simply. "And your apologies don't matter." She smiled bitterly, "You're going to take him away, to make sure he isn't a shade…"

Sona sighed, "If we see no signs for a month, he'll be fine, and we can release him. We have no precedent for someone returning to conciousness after losing their mind to shade hood."

Faris despite himself couldn't help but sit as the tears continued to stream down his eyes.

"Stop crying damnit!" He hissed to himself. "You're a tough one for crying out loud, the burrowing grubs didn't get you to break into sobs. Nearly dying… that's nothing, I can get back my magic."

"…No, you can't." Faris got up quickly, immediately regretting it as wracking migraines filled his head. He looked in anger as his eyes triangulated on the source of the voice.

"What do you want Jaya?"

"I… I wanted to apologize." Jaya's eyes betrayed a level of sadness.

"What?!" Faris laughed. "You?! Apologize?!" He laughed some more, "Fuck you, fuck this, fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!" He cursed repeatedly. "You want to apologize? Why? Because I lost my magic, because I became one of the general populace that you obviously have a distaste for? Because I'm a cripple without magic now?" Faris laughed. "Because I'm a shade? Am I even alive?" He wipes his eyes.

Jaya remains silent for a bit, before speaking. "I… I calculated that the worst of it would be a missing limb, even maybe an almost destroyed mind. But not what happened to you. Even my team formulations were flawed. My teams would have been destroyed, they were split, and one half had been captured. It would have been a failed mission." He sighed, "If not for the distraction caused by your friends, and by…you."

"Fantastic, so you ultimately accomplished a great mission, recovered the package. The people will love that. The condemned criminal was actually a great hero. The villain tricked the people and jailed the boy, who was then kidnapped. But then the brave mage leader defended the city, found the boy innocent, then mounted a successful rescue. Then you punish the boy's friends to maintain control, and the boy lost his magic, so that's a variable gone. Success."

"Not successful." Jaya muttered.

"Oh? I thought you'd love the political spin this would bring about."

"Damnit boy, even I can't be that callous, not to someone who my daughter has regard for."

Faris grit his teeth. "I didn't want any of your attention like this, let me ask you something Jaya, why didn't any mages investigate the slums? I was gone from there for a month, 15 children died. 15 children who that bastard mad scientist tried to make into super-powered pawns for some great crusade against this blasted kingdom."

Jaya looked at him evenly, "It was the slums, who would care? They were poor people, outside the people's views. Magic gives them light, heat, and clean water, if they can't work to afford food, then there's nothing any of us owe them."

"What of those injured by the war." Faris demanded.

"They have families, and they were paid for their services."

"And the lame and physically deformed, you have the magic to heal them." Faris glared at him. "Jaya, this is magic! This isn't medicine! GODDAMN MAGIC!" He screamed loud enough to alert the others, who rushed to his room.

"Lord Jaya?!" Sona asked, "What are you doing?!"

"NO! No interruptions!" Faris demanded. "Magic drains our stamina, but if 10 mages need to use their magic to save 1 person, then we'll have 11 people for tomorrow."

"And what if one of the mages fall sick, that 1 person isn't guaranteed to have magic, or to be as skilled, if they don't have the resources…"

"And what of me. I have no real money of my own." Faris demanded.

"You're exemplary." Jaya stated simply, "You killed a member of the Black Hand, in fact, the fact you were punished for killing those vagabonds… It's a waste."

"It wasn't a waste." Faris roared, shocking everyone. He looked at them all with wild eyes. "No one is above the law! But no life is below it either!" He pounded his fist on the bed, wincing at the ache in his arms. "You bastards… with magic, you look down on them, they who lack the ability or will to make a choice. Because to you, you who have the strength, will, and at least minor talent, they who seem to not even try are deemed useless." He stared at his hands. "A woman dying of Murk became a scullery maid because as a housewife she couldn't just get a job in the city, and she couldn't afford to be away from her home in the time demanded of someone who donates energy to the power core in the center of the city. Her son would have been one of those children in a pit if I hadn't come that day and saved her life." Faris giggled, "And the only reason she even registered on my radar was because her husband was killed, killed for no reason!" An uncomfortable silence filled the room before Faris's voice filled it again. "You know how much she was going to be reimbursed? 10 gold, that would have lasted her a month. A month in this damn city you all prize so much. Her husband died, killed by bastard mages thinking he was a waste of space, and a child was going to end up like the others in that garrison because of it. Because you know what?" Faris smiled, "Mages don't regard nonmagic users on the same level. Sure, they are useful, to a point, you need bodies to fill a quota and to do manual labor. But that's it, you don't think they're as smart, can be as strong, or as skillful."

"That's not true!" Sona yelled.

"One-month Sona… tell me, how many inquiries where made to the slums, it is literally 5 city blocks away, it would take 20 minutes to make it to the slums, and an hour to pass from one end to the other. We had one month between when I made the report and was under directions to not leave the school, and when I re-entered the slums. We could have discovered this, a long time ago. And it's so easy, all you need to do is read a single man's mind. Get a warrant, check, you don't have to discriminate, you can tell what's in their mind, what they actually did."

"You're saying breaking the sanctity of their privacy." Jaya pointedly said.

Faris stared at the man with a newfound hatred, shivering slightly. "You… you piece of shit, how does that context matter, these men were, in front of me, going to kidnap a child, I can confirm that in the ancient language, my mind and memories as proof, the words of my friends. We had proof Jaya. Yet nothing was done. I'm not satisfied, I don't care that Rembrant is dead, I don't care, death was too good for that bastard! You're patting yourself on the back because mages have more rights? Because the city survived this onslaught? THOSE CHILDREN ARE GONE! MY MAGIC IS GONE! YOU CAN'T BRING THEM BACK! DON'T APOLOGIZE TO ME! PROSTRATE BEFORE ALL OF THEM, THOSE CHILDREN'S CORPSES, THOSE FORMER PARENTS, THE FAMILIES OF THE SOLDIERS AND MAGES KILLED BY THE ENHANCED CHILDREN! THEN RIP YOUR BASTARD HEART OUT!" Faris's heart beat so fast he could feel it in his chest, it was an incredibly tight feeling, almost like he couldn't breathe. "AND GET THE HELL OUT OF MY ROOM!"