Author Notes:
Hello there, my dear readers, here I am! Your dear and magnificent bastard, Wiccan! And I'd come today to give you all a new story to enjoy!
Now, before we can start I'd want to clear a few misunderstandings. You see, the reason I haven't came here to update my Fate story was… Because some issues with my life; the usual, college, lack of inspiration… Coronavirus/COVID-19~!
I think you already got the gist of what I'm saying, right? Well, that aside I also want to say that I'm NOT gonna leave the story in the oblivion. I promise you that it will get an update soon enough, you just have to be more patient with me (even if I don't deserve it).
With that said, I'm proud to present you this work of mine~
A New Start… In a World filled with Heroes, Villains, Gods and Monsters! Oh my!
Whoever said that when someone sees a light in a tunnel the moment your life comes to an end must be a delusional idiot. Why, you ask? Well, let's just say the last thing I expected after kicking the bucket was waking up in a… Postal Office? Yeah, I think that's the best description of what this place looks like.
Thinking about it, its design resembles that of the Proctor's meeting room from R.I.P.D— you know, the film with Ryan Reynolds, when the MC s killed by his own partner and he became the newest member of the police force that contains the Dead ones from plaguing the world.
Huh, I wonder if I was about to being recruited by a Soul Reaper organization like him. I mean, it would be unrealistic considering I'm just a 17 years-old with little to no background at fighting crime, mostly because I wasn't what you could call a "Hero" but an average Joe instead.
Anyway—! You get my point!
As I sat down in this uncomfortable chair that stinks like a corpse, I stared at the person before me with an incredulous look and I admit that this isn't my best moment because I'm pretty sure I look like an idiot… But when you meet The Death himself, this is an expectable reaction.
His(?) appearance is certainly terrifying to say the least but if I've to be honest he looks like a rip-off character from the Anime Overlord— Ainz-sama to be precise.
"You know I can hear your thoughts, right?" He said with a dry tone as he put some files on his desk, leaning on his throne-shaped chair tiredly. "Honestly, you mortals have forgotten to show respect to the Higher Beings" He mumbled in disappointment.
"Umm… I-I'm s-sorry?" I stuttered with shame as I scratched the back of my head nervously, praying to whatever it was ruling the Heavens to not kill me on the spot.
Hey, it's my first time dying! I have all rights to be nervous here, you know?!
"Quit those babblings, please. Your thought are annoying me"
Crap… I knew he can hear my thoughts but I'm pretty sure I was being subtle!
"Screaming in your mind is not being subtle and you know it" Death commented with a deadpan tone and an equally deadpan expression (no pun intended).
"Well, in my defense… This is meeting was not what I expected after dying in a traffic accident" I said with a sigh as I pass my hand through my hair. "I bet you get this a lot since I'm pretty sure I'm not the first mortal in your office"
"True… But your case is not like the others'. If anything, you shouldn't be here"
Wait, what?
"Wait, what?" I stared at him with a mixture of shock and fear. "W-What do you mean I shouldn't be here, Mister Death?" I couldn't help but ask, hoping to get a reassuring answer from the Embodiment of Death.
"Is exactly what I said, boy, your presence is something that shouldn't have to happen!" He said with an exasperated tone, sobbing his forehead as if he was suffering from migraine.
"I'm pretty sure my presence is not a big deal… right?"
"On the contrary, my boy… This is, in fact, a big deal"
Ok, if I wasn't frightened earlier now I am. Just what the fuck did I do for this to happen?!
"You haven't done anything bad" He shook his head, taking the files from his desk and proceeding to read them. "William Cross. An average person like many other mortals in your Universe, with a pretty much unimpressive life having equally average parents living a boring mortal life. No hope in romance since you lack the self-confident to ask a girl out—" Ouch, that hurt big guy. I mean, I'm pretty sure my luck with women was pitiful but when you say it with that dull tone I feel like a loser. "—you died at the age of 17 when an urn, in which were residing the cinders of a dead man, fell from a skyscraper and hit your head. Death: Instantaneous" He read my profile as if it was the most boring thing in the world before throwing it at the empty space, where it disappeared in a flash.
"Man… When I heard the cause of my death from someone else… It feels pathetic" I muttered with a depressive aura surrounding me.
"And as pathetic as it is… It wasn't mean to happen at all" Death added.
…
…
…
Hold on… What?!
"Umm… I think I heard wrong because I could've sworn you said I shouldn't be dead" I let out a nervous chuckle and gazed at The Death with a forced smile, trying to deny what my ears just heard due the impossibility that THE DEATH made a mis—
"I made a mistake and took your life before the established schedule in the Cosmic Calendar"
"…."
"…"
"… HOW THE FUCK DID THAT HAPPENED?!" I screamed with shock, completely incredulous of this revelation.
The Death just chuckled nervously(?). "Well… You see, umm… I may have confused you with the old guy behind you, who happened to have the exact same name as you" He confessed while trying to avoid my gaze.
If that a blush what I see? How is that even possible for an skeleton-like enti— Wait, no! I want answers goddammit! In what fucking reality Death made a mistake at taking souls?! He is the motherfucking Death?! It makes no sense at all!
I could expect this from some like Zelretch but we're not in a Fate Fic right now! I ain't that guy who died by eating a sandwich! I bet this is all the Author's doing—and what am I saying now?!
"Ok… I think I'm calmed now" I said with a tired sigh, pinching the bridge of my nose as my brain tried to process what kind of shit I'm dealing with. "I guess I'm here so you can revive me, right?" I asked him with a hopeful tone.
Knowing that this bullcrap happened because of a silly administration mistake, I bet it could be fixed easily if Death is taking the led here. Surely, reviving the dead or rewinding time á la [Bites the Dust] wouldn't be such a big problem for him… Right?
"No, I cannot do that" Sadly, his respond didn't meet my expectations.
"Huh?!" That was unintelligent respond.
"You see, the moment I take a soul from the World of Living I'm not allowed to return it, even if I take it by error. Unless I make a solicitation with the Big Guy up there—" He elaborated with a serious tone and, is if he was reading my mind (which can) he continued. "—and I don't want to" He finished with deadpan tone.
"Why not?! If the only thing you have to do is chat with G-Man then it shouldn't be so difficult?!"
"Actually it is… The whole process could take several millennia to be approved. And even If we, the Higher Beings, can rewind time to send in the exact moment of your "Death", the ramifications of doing so would made some nasty things to the Natural Law" He explained in an as-matter-of-fact manner as if he was talking about the weather. "Contrary to what you mortals think, there are rules that we must to follow. The Universal Balance is dead serious business" He finished with glare.
Oh come on! I call all that bullshit! If the Universal Balance is so precious then how come he let me die by accident knowing what kind of consequences that would bring to the universe?!
"Remember I can hear your thoughts, and I'd appreciate if you hold your tongue while I'm still merciful" The Death interrupted my train of thoughts by glaring at me with his ominous red eyes. I admit that's pretty scary. "Now, as I was saying before your narcissism took over your mind—" ("HEY!") "—I was about to inform you that there is another way to save your soul and prevent that your city, state or country from suffering what can only be described as a 'Butterfly Effect'" The Embodiment of Death stated with a grin on his "face" (Don't ask me how I know he is grinning!).
"And what is this so called 'alternative' you have to offer?"
"Sending your existence to another Universe"
"Ah, I see… I'm sorry, what?!" I asked him, completely taken off guard by his casual comment.
It seems like my surprise amuse him because now he was chuckling openly. "It's just like you heard. In order to prevent something nasty to occur in this Universe, I have to take care of the very source of the problem, you, and usually to do that I need to erase your very existence from the reality… But that would take a lot of paperwork and quite frankly I'm in no mood to do so" Death explained with a dismissive shrug as he reached out his arm take a phone and mark a number. "And as I don't want to overwork, I'll see if any other 'Deaths' is willingly to take your pitiful soul so I wouldn't have to deal with you" He added as he made the calls.
Ok, leaving aside the fact that there is more than one universe out there— and that each one of them is administrated by its own Death— I couldn't help but stare at this Ainz rip-off proctor with a deadpan look. Seriously, does this guy is that lazy?! He is basically leaving his peers to take care of his own problems!
Now, don't misunderstand me. I appreciate this apparent second chance to life like any dead guy but jeez. If my grandma was here, I'm pretty sure she would be as disappointed as I am… Just like every other human on the planet.
"Good news, mortal! Someone is interested in taking you! So, officially, you are no longer my problem!" Death said as he took some files from his desk and gave me a knowing look, which for some reason unnerved me to no end. "Also, it seems like she has some ulterior motives to take you with her~" He sang with a creepy chuckle.
… Ok, it's official. This situation went to the south rather spectacularly! I may not be the sharpest tool in the shed but I'm versed enough with fictional works to see that being the Cosmic Plaything of a higher entity is never a good sign!
So, with my extensive—and pretty much useless— knowledge regarding SIOC Fanfics, I made the most logical respond possible.
"… Can I refuse?"
"No"
… Crap.
"Now that she and I made the deal, you will be sent… Now!"
"Hey, wait a second! At least give me some time to mentally prepare myself for—!"
"I don't think so! Now… Hehe… This is the better part of my job!" Death bellowed strongly as he appeared before me… with a scythe on his hands!
"W-WOWOWOWOWOW! Hold the phone, dude! What are you talking—!"
"Brace yourself, mortal! This will hurt like a bitch"
SLASH!
And he swung his scythe at me, making me close my eyes… And then I felt something pulling me to the darkness.
(?)
Uhhh… Man, my head hurts so much…! The last time I had such a troublesome migraine was when I stayed at night with Edward in that party at Mike Tyson's house! And even so this one is worst!
Fwooossshhhh!
Hm? How weird, I could've sworn I let my window closed. Why am I hearing the wind?... In fact, why am I feeling it in my face? I bet my sister pulled another of her pranks on me.
FWWOOOOSSSHHH!
"Ok, Christie! Whatever you did, it's not funny!" I burst my eyes open and bellowed with anger, trying to make this stop. Seriously, sometimes that kid is just too infuriating to deal.
Crap… It seems like this time she threw me out the plane and now I'm falling…
…
…
…
WAIT WHAT?! AM I FALLING?!
"Just what the fuck is happening now?!" I yelled madly while making a futile(!) attempt to fly like a bird.
OH GOD! IF THIS IS A DREAM PLEASE, I WANT SOMEONE TO WAKE ME UP NOW!
Hold on, that's it! This must be another one of those strange nightmares I usually had as a child! In any moment I will wake up and everything will be fine! Yes, that's what happening right now! This is all a bad dream! Yup!
FWWOOOOSSSHHH!
In any moment I will woke up in my room— possibly with a pair of wet trousers but who cares!
FWWOOOOSSSHHH!
At any moment!
FWWOOOOSSSHHH!
… Ok, this is no longer funny! Come on, buddy! Wake up! Gosh, I have no choice but I slap myself in order to leave this frighteningly realistic nightmare! Ok, here we go!
SLAP!
"ARGH!" I groaned in pain when I felt the soft and yet firm flesh of my hand clashing against my left cheek. Sometimes I forget I can pull a good hit when I'm motivated enough.
… Hey, I just realized something.
…
…
This is…!
FWWOOOOSSSHHH!
Is this…?! No please!
FWWOOOOSSSHHH!
"THIS IS FUCKING REAL!"
I yelled in despair as I stared at the light blue sky with a frantic look and, finally, let out a 'manly' shout with all the might of my lungs.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA—"
15 Seconds Later
"—AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA—!"
I continued with my yell even though I'd been falling for fifteen seconds! Hey, don't look at me like that! This shit is way to real and at this height I'll die anyway so sue me! I can be as anxious as I want!
50 Seconds Later
"—AAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa—!"
You know what… This is getting boring. At this point I don't know if I should keep yelling like a little bitch but there is nothing else I could do. Heh, I just hope the sweet and cold embrace of Death will receive me soon enough.
Five Minutes Later
"Canada, Chad, Chile, China, Colombia, Congo, Costa Rica, Cuba, Ecuador, Egypt, El Salvador, Fiji, France, Ghana, Greece…"
At this point the fact that I was falling started to become dull since this was taking an eternity to end and as I was bored as heck, I decided to name all countries I could remember to keep my mind occupied long enough.
If I knew falling in the sky would so boring I would've killed myself rather than yelling like an idiot for almost ten minutes in a row. Now my vocal cords feel like shit and I'm suffering from hoarseness.
"Oh man… Dying is so boring" I never thought I'd say something like this.
The situation I'm is pretty much a fucked-up one if I'm being blunt and the fact that I couldn't remember how I ended here is unnerving me. My memory is a bit messed up, almost as if someone manipulated my brain and provoked a selective amnesia to keep me in the dark.
Well, whoever planned this, he or she must have a very twisted sense of humor.
FWWOOOSHHH!
Huh? What is this? Wait, don't tell…! I know this noise, it sounds like the sea!
Instinctively, I turn my gaze down for the first time I got here and lo and behold, I saw the blue sea under my feet! Oh thank god, for a moment I actually thought I was in an eternal fall… OH CRAP, I'M GONNA FALL AT THE SEEEEE—!
SPLASH!
I couldn't finish my (mental) monologue because I got submerged in the massive water construct know as the sea in all its blue glory. And let me tell you it hurts! I wouldn't be surprised if some of my organs are a mess now!
No, wait…! I still can move so I'm alive!
Using all the strength in my limbs and recalling the swimming lesson I took last year, I dived to the surface as fast as I could. And finally, after several seconds…!
SPLASH!
"Ghu…! Gaak!"
It took me some time but I was finally at the surface, taking great amounts of oxygen with my mouth and nose in unison to expand my lungs and store air. Inhaling and exhaling with a controlled pattern and a few minutes later, I was fine.
"Goddammit, what the fuck happened with me?!" I couldn't help but ask in shock, anger and despair.
It was bad enough that I fell from the friggin sky from how knows what height—and surviving such a fall with just minor injuries— but now I was alone in the middle of the sea with no way to communicate with a ship.
"Great! Just great! How could this situation get worst?!" I shouted franticly with a frown, not really bothering what my babblings would unleash.
SPLASH!
Huh? What was that? I thought I was alone here… Oh god, please don't let it be a shark, please don't let it be—A SHARK! IT'S A SHARK! IT'S A FUCKING SHARK!
1 Minute Later
"WHY THE FUCK IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME?!" I bellowed with humorously rage as I tried to escape from one of the Sea's apex predators. Using a the last traces of strength I have in my body, I swum like a mad man, completely blinded by my fear.
This oversized fish has been chasing me for over a minute and I think it will not stop until my stamina is totally expended! Now, now, now what am I gonna do in this situation?!
"WHOEVER IS OUT THERE, PLEASE SAVE THIS POOR IDIOT!"
I couldn't care less about my manhood at this point, I just wanted someone to save me from this cruel death at the hand—or should I say teeth— of a shark. But deep down in my heart I knew help was most likely to not come.
"Brace yourself, young man! I shall assist you!"
"What?"
SPLASH!
Suddenly and against any odds, my savior came to the rescue in the form of a beautiful woman that jumped from some ancient looking Greek ship, a drakkar if I recall correctly.
However, the moment she came down the water, I was so mesmerized by her sudden appearance that I didn't see I was gonna crash with the ship until it was way too late.
'Well this is going to hurt' That was all I could think before my mind went blank.
THUNK!
Ok, let's start with the very beginning… The moment Death pulled that stick out of his paled ass and swung it against precious my neck. It's kind of interesting how being beheaded by the Death chances your views, now I feel a bit more ruthless when talking to people to the point of being called out for it—and I couldn't care less.
Minutes(?) Later
Ugh… What the…? God, it's amazing how many times I keep asking this question but seriously… Where in the seven circles of hell I am?
I… I don't know how much time passed since I faint in the sea. The last thing I remember was seeing a Amazonian-like woman jumped to the sea to save me from becoming a shark's snatch and… Shit.
Thinking about it now, I recall hitting something hard before I was embraced by the darkness. I bet I got too careless and hit the friggin ship. That would explain why I am inside a Greek-themed room now.
My bed wasn't the most comfortable but at least it was a bed.
Scanning the place with my gaze, I couldn't help but notice it was mainly built from wood and it has several set of bookshelves on the wall, which held some old-looking books that were written in what a bet must be Greek, and at the edge of the room, right next to the door, was a set of… Spears?!
Ok, this is bad. Those things look like they could pierce through my body like nothing! Please, don't tell me I was found by pirates! That's the last problem I need right now!
Crreaaak!
The chilling sound of the door being opened made me stay in guard— even though I knew resistance was futile— as I waited for a group of grim bandits to enter and beat the crap out of me.
The person that appeared from the door wasn't anything I imagined…
"Oh, you're awake! That's good, for a moment I thought I would've to pray Hades so your soul could rest in peace!"
Before me was a stunningly beautiful young woman. She had long ebony hair and beautiful sun-kissed skin, she also had a toned figure with muscles on her muscles and a figure that any other girl would kill to have. She wore some slightly revealing armor with a blue skirt with stars, a red chest plate with a golden 'W' on her chest, just below her generous cleavage, golden shoulder pads, and silver bracelets. She had red armored boots and a golden tiara on her head and star earrings.
That… Is that…!
"It's nice to see you alive, man. Honestly, you made me worry you wouldn't wake up but it seems like the Gods blessed you" The black-haired woman stated with a friendly smile as she stepped closer to me, in her arms she held a bunch of sheets and bandage. "While our encounter took me by surprise, I'm grateful that the Gods send me an emissary in my journey and a man no less! Truly, I couldn't ask for more!" She added with a rather childish giggle as she stared at me with those beautiful blue orbs, looking at me as if she was seeing a unicorn before reaching out her arm in an attempt shake hands with me.
Right in front of me was one of the most important beings in the entire Comics. The first heroine in the American culture that changed not only a country views but the whole world! The very personification of an Empowered Woman, this woman was no other than.
"My name is Diana of Themyscira, Princess of the Amazons! May I know your name, O' Gods' Emissary?!"
"I… Ummm" I tried to open my mouth to say something but nothing came out.
This—This was too much to handle! Not only I was having a conversation with one of the Pillar Heroes of All Times, she was also a woman with unparallel beauty! Then again, most super heroines and villainesses from the comics are hot but still!
Then suddenly, realization hit my head like one of Zeus' lightning bolt as the memories I had from my "first" death returned to my mind. The discussion with Death, the way he referred my ending as an "accident" before he threw me at the hands of another entity on a whim because he was a lazy ass… All was returning!
Hold on a fucking second! Does that mean I got "Inserted" in the DC Universe?!
Oh, great! This is just perfect! Now how could this situation get even more bizarre?!
[Greetings, New User!]
…
In a situation like this, there only one thing to do… And that was yelling like a moronic idiot á la Joseph Joestar~!
"OH. MY. GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOODDDDD!"
"W-What's wrong?! Are you hurt?! Hey, why are you fainting?! Agh, don't die! Please, stay with me!"
Author Notes:
Well~! That's it folks, I hope you enjoyed the small lecture. This chapter got all worked out and I wouldn't have finished if it wasn't for one of my friend on the Website, Josef Bican, it's likely that I would finish this chapter.
Now you had seen just how messed up the situation of the MC is, one can't help but pity this poor bastard. First he found out his death was the product of a silly mistake from Death himself and then he is suddenly kicked out of his Universe and thrown to the DC Universe of all realities. Granted, he is not in one of the more hellish and darker versions but that doesn't change the fact that he is pretty much screwed unless he can figure out a way to survive.
Luckily, the first person he met was none other than The Wonder Woman! BUT! It seems like this is a less experience one so he is still in danger of dying again! XD
Heh, you can say his LUK stat must be pretty fucking low~!
Anyway, I would like to say goodbye and thanks for your time! Have a nice life~!