Disclaimer: I recently got obsessed with Game of Thrones, but doesn't mean I own it!
Story: Roose and Sansa have finally moved in together…Just in time for King's Landing's celebrations for Carnaval Septem. Dragged into it, they and Sansa's group of friends get into group drunken shenanigans that Roose, Stannis and Tywin (when he's dragged into it) have to keep sane. If only Sansa's ex Petyr would keep out of things and weirdo cults weren't run by mad blood-haired secretaries. Part 4 of the (Im)Perfect VERSE.
Set as a gigantic modern AU universe.
Spoilers: Nope.
Warnings: Nope.
Pairings: (Main) Roosa (Roose/Sansa), Stansa (Stannis/Sansa), and TySan (Tywin/Sansa). Side Renly/Loras and one-sided (past) Petyr/Sansa.
Drinks on Me, Beads on You
Chapter One: Moving Day
Roose grunted, lifting the box and carefully placing it into the back of the truck.
"Is that the last of it?" Sansa asked from the side.
He eyed the bed of his truck, where several boxes were already packed away.
"I think so? For the most part at least," he thought about it. "If we missed something, they can send it to us or we'll find time to come back and pick it up over a visit home."
Sansa hmmed. "True. Ready to live in King's Landing?"
Roose glanced at her. "Just as ready as I was handing my two weeks notice to Ned."
"My father near had a heart attack, you know," Sansa said in amusement.
His lips briefly lifted. "He got over it."
"It still nearly happened "
Roose chuckled slightly. "It's not like it was that big of a surprise. It was a long time coming."
Sansa moved a piece of her hair behind an ear, leading back into the Stark home. "Maybe. Not that I was aware of it."
"You're oblivious; it doesn't count," he snarked and she swatted at his arm.
"Roose!"
He hid his smile and followed her towards the kitchen, where she was opening up cabinets.
"Mom said I can pack a few snacks for us for the drive to King's Landing," she told him. "And said I could steal the coffee maker and the second blender."
"Excellent."
Coffee did sound rather good right then, he mused. But they could buy some on their way over.
Still, his eyes watched her closely, strangely anxious about moving to King's Landing with her and what it was going to mean.
They were going to be moving to a new city and living together. It was one thing to be working for her, another to share living space. They were going to be together practically 24/7…
"Ready?"
Roose looked to her, seeing her grinning excitedly and he ended up returning it with a briefly fond smile back.
"Ready."
He got into the driver's seat and Sansa moved to sit shotgun, buckling in. And once he started the truck, it seemed almost like everything became final.
Sansa nudged his shoulder and he glanced at her as he put the truck into drive.
"Wanna go for a coffee run before we get on the road to there?" she asked.
He hmmed. "You read my mind. I don't suppose you'll take over for any part of the drive?"
She gave him an apologetic look. "I don't do well on long drives. I get car sick."
He blinked. "How'd you get to King's Landing before?"
"I flew," she shrugged. "But since we're moving and bringing all our stuff…"
Ah. Looks like he was going to be doing all the driving then.
"It's fine. We'll just have to take a few stops on the side of the road so that I can take quick naps," he mused. "And we don't exactly have a deadline to be there at least."
"No, which is fine. Oh, Starbucks! Coffee, Roose! I'm freaking exhausted."
"At least we're not moving with a trailer and any furniture," he said, getting into the Drive-Through. There wasn't anyone in line so he quickly made his order and Sansa's usual, glancing at her to see if that was alright, finding she was smiling slightly and cheeks tinted pink.
"You really have my stuff memorized, huh?"
"Of course. I've worked for your family for years, specifically making sure you Stark brats didn't cause too much trouble," he teased. "That and, well, I'd always had a soft spot for you."
That made her blush fully materialized and he grinned smugly to himself, continuing to drive up to the window and then accepting the two drinks.
"Your drink practically has zero caffeine in it and mostly sugar," he said wryly, handing her frappuccino to her.
"It's sweet. Like me," she chirped, letting out a giggle.
He rolled his eyes. "And I'm willingly consigning myself to this for the rest of my life."
"Your fault~"
Well, she wasn't wrong about that.
Somewhere along the way, Sansa had fallen asleep and was leaning on him. Seeing as one of them should be rested, he'd just rolled his eyes against it and let her use him as a pillow. Two hours into the drive and his body was starting to feel stiff and he'd had to pull over to the side.
Gently moving her up and making her comfortable, he got out of the car and stretched, cracking his neck and then moving around a bit to get blood flow going again. Then he took out his phone and began scrolling, checking his email and then his messages. There was a text from Ned asking after them and if Sansa had fallen asleep yet, apologizing for her. Roose quickly sent a quick text back. There was a text that came up from his sons. Grimacing, he opened the group text and couldn't stop from making a face.
Ramsay: U 2 cozy yet?
He wondered if he should ignore it, but then another text popped up. And then another, this time from Domeric.
Ramsay: ;D Bet San-San fell asleep on u. U hapy, dad?
Domeric: He's prob ignoring us and focusing on her, Rams.
Irritable, he couldn't help replying to his idiot sons.
I'm not.
Then he continued on, deciding they would just use that to mix up his words.
Holding her. I was going to ignore you two though.
Ramsay: Awww, da's mad, bro. Why us mad, dad? Angry cause you didn't get to hold Sans?
Domeric: Dad's always angry. He's an angry man.
You two are fucking grounded.
Ramsay: Cant ground us if u rn't here!
Domeric: We're too old to be grounded.
Never too old, Roose's eye twitched. And I will have Ned make sure you two get grounded.
Ramsay: Uncle Ned wouldn't.
Domeric: He would.
Ramsay: fine. But u didn't get kissy with Sans yet?
"Of course not!" he shouted at his phone.
Gods, what was wrong with his sons? Specifically Ramsay? This is what he got for getting drunk and having a one night stand all those years ago.
She's sleeping. I'm taking a break from driving.
Domeric: It's Sleeping Beauty time.
Ramsay: Kiss her awake, Da —
Roose closed out his text window and shoved his phone into his pocket. He swore he must've done something in a past life to have been cursed with those two.
Getting back inside the truck, he got into his seat again and started the engine, only momentarily startled when Sansa fell back onto him, resettling into her old position. There was the addition of her arm flopping across his lap and her cheek rubbing up against his shoulder.
Remembering his sons' words, he closed his eyes tightly and hit his head back against the headseat.
"Fuck."
Looking down at the top of her head, he relented and leaned down to plant a quick kiss there.
"Don't wake up," he groused.
He wasn't a fucking prince after all, even if Sansa fit the bill of a Sleeping Beauty.
Sansa felt guilty each time she woke up and saw Roose still in the midst of driving. She felt bad for making him drive the entire way, especially knowing the drive from Winterfell to King's Landing was some hours.
She also had discovered that she kept using him as a pillow.
Knowing that made her face hot for a while and she avoided looking at Roose when she'd been awake for a bit.
"It's fine," he'd waved it off. "At least you're comfortable."
It wasn't fine because it was embarrassing and she knew it probably wasn't comfortable for him, more so since he was driving.
That hadn't stopped her from inevitably falling asleep on him every time she'd fallen asleep on the drive over. He hadn't complained once about it.
"Last hour yet," he yawned when they were near the city. "It'll be around almost midnight by the time we get there."
"You look tired," she said worriedly. "Maybe take one last nap?"
He hesitated before he agreed. "Just a short one —we need to get there soon and we're almost there after all."
Roose maneuvered the truck to the side and cut off the engine, relaxing into his seat. He looked over to her and then shifted a bit, holding out an arm and watching her with sleepy eyes. Flustered but still tired, she moved closer and leaned against him again, focusing on his breathing evening out and then her falling asleep to it.
After, it seemed a short ride to King's Landing and Sansa was directing Roose to where the loft apartment was. She beamed at the old building.
"Home sweet home," she sighed happily. "I didn't realize just how much I missed this place."
His lips quirked up. "Then I'm glad I got the deed for you."
"Come on!" she said in excitement. "Let's hurry up and get our boxes inside."
The two of them worked to unload the boxes from the truck and then began carrying them into the building, using the elevator to head into the second floor where the loft was.
"You could use the bottom floor to work in," he told her as the elevator opened, the ride up having been quick. "Or as a boutique to see your clothing line. You don't have to stick to an online shop."
"I think I'll just stay with it for now," Sansa mused, the two of them taking the boxes and lining it up against a wall. "Just to get things settled for the business here in King's Landing, before I go and jump the gun with an actual storefront."
"Alright —" Embarrassingly, his stomach growled and he blinked.
Sansa let out a giggle as he actually blushed, making her giggle even more. "Looks like someone's hungry. Want takeout?"
"Are there places that are still open?" he asked with furrowed brows.
"As open as Black Castle, back in Winter Town," she shrugged.
"Black Castle is a bar," he drawled.
"Same idea," she grinned impishly. "It was open as late as it wanted."
"It didn't have closing hours," he winced.
"That's true," Sansa was already pulling out her phone. "Up for Dornish? There's a small place nearby that I used to always order with Renly and Loras when we stayed here."
"When? During your college years or when the three of you decided to go for Broadway?" Roose smirked.
Sansa looked at him aghast. "Don't you make fun of me, Mister! We had dreams, the three of us! We were going to become Broadway stars!"
Roose chuckled. "Your parents were horrified that you wanted a break from college to pursue Broadway. They thought you were having a crisis."
"Ah, well…" Sansa started to pout a little. "We did fine and it was only a couple of years anyway. Besides, I recall going for it because I enjoyed singing so much —having begged you to teach me when I was younger," she poked his arm.
He cringed at that. He didn't know what was worse —remembering that episode and having actually gone through with 'singing lessons'…or the reminder that he'd known her since she was young.
"Dornish is fine," he mumbled and she called the place.
"They'll deliver in 20," she told him before she looked around the loft. "Roose…where's the furniture?"
He was taken aback and turned around, facing the loft and stood frozen. Why was it mostly bare?
"Your friend was supposed to refurnish it," he grumbled.
"Well…there is that lamp I bought from years ago," she pointed out in amusement. "We've got a floor and a lamp. Let's just sit under it and eat?"
Roose shook his head, but his lips quirked up. "I guess it'll do."
"While we wait for food, let's unpack some of our things into the kitchen and our rooms. Hopefully, Renly didn't touch my room…" Sansa muttered at the end.
They managed to unpack everything from the boxes, most of them disappearing into the kitchen and into their respective room. Sansa had picked her old room, grateful that it was still mostly intact. The other three rooms were empty, minus beds still there at least, and Roose chose the one directly across from Sansa's. By the time they finished, there was a loud buzzing noise signaling their food was there.
"Finished?" she asked him as she sat under the lone lamp in the middle of the empty space that was supposed to be their living area.
He nodded, sitting next to her and picking a carton. "Nothing left to do until we get new furniture."
"At least things got done," she hmmed. "Swap?"
He handed her his carton and she gave him hers, and they occasionally kept that up until the food was done.
"I'm exhausted and want to sleep, but there's no way I'm dirtying my bed," Sansa moaned, collapsing back onto the floor, laying on her stomach as she stretched out.
Roose grunted, echoing her sentiments. He'd driven how many hours on the road. He was feeling exhausted and dirty himself.
He turned off the lamp and carefully sat down on the ground, laying back himself, though on his back.
"You asleep, Roose?" he heard Sansa just as his eyes drifted close.
"Almost."
"…It's not really comfortable," she said quietly.
He sighed and moved his arm out. "C'mere."
He felt her scoot over, her arm searching out until it lightly smacked against his side, and then she moved closer to him. Her head found its way to his shoulder and then she was curling up like a kitten.
She was asleep immediately, but this time, Roose had a little more trouble falling asleep himself.
Roose woke up, finding himself alone. Sansa had woken up first apparently and had taken a shower and dressed, and was in the kitchen getting breakfast ready. He took the time to get himself ready for the day, taking his own shower and finding some clothes from the batch he'd already managed to put away.
After he finished with his morning routine, he went back to the kitchen to find food ready.
"We've at least got pans and pots," she told him. "I made a quick run to the market store around the block to buy some essentials, so eggs and bacon it is."
"I'll make lunch," he offered.
"Then I've got dinner," she grinned at him.
They settled on the floor again, sitting underneath the lamp even though it was off. They had just begun eating when there was the buzzer going off.
"We have company," Roose raised his eyebrows.
"If it's Ren, I swear to the Gods I'm going to give him a piece of my mind," Sansa muttered, going to the electric pad to let them into the bottom floor without going down herself. A minute later and the elevator was being used, letting the three Baratheon brothers into the loft and carrying bags of varying sizes.
"Where is all your shit, Sansa?" Robert's eyes swept the place in shock.
Both Roose and Sansa's eyes immediately locked onto Renly, who coughed into his hand.
"To be fair, all of it was outdated. I figure we could just go shopping for some new stuff," Renly gave them a sheepish look.
"Never mind them," Stannis interrupted, though he did eye Renly in exasperation. He held up his bag using both hands. "We've brought housewarming gifts."
Renly moved forward first, eager to get them in a good mood. "So Sansa, you and I need to go on a spa day soon, to celebrate your return and move to King's Landing. In the meantime, I've got you some of the latest cosmetics," he handed her a small box, wrapped up simply but elegantly. Then he turned to Roose, reaching into his bag to hand him a bottle with a thin ribbon wrapped around it. "And for you, cologne!"
Roose hid his twitch, murmuring his thanks and taking the bottle. He doubted he'd use it, but he wasn't going to offend Sansa's friend over it.
Stannis' bag was huge and when he took the large box out of it, he and Robert had to move forward to help him steady it as he took it out of the bag. They moved away after Stannis had it settled in his arms, carrying the large thing easily.
"It's a toaster oven," he told them plainly, not one to mince words or beat around the bush…Though the wrapper around it did look haphazardly done, almost in afterthought.
"Oh! Thanks a lot, Stannis!" Sansa smiled widely. "We totally would need that."
Roose grudgingly admitted she was right and that it was actually a useful gift. But he could do without Stannis' flushed cheeks or pleased look.
"My turn!" Robert happily fumbled into his own bag, taking out the unwrapped gift and handing it to Sansa.
Everyone stared at the device, gaping at it.
"You got her a taser?!" Renly exclaimed in disbelief.
"My goddaughter is a beautiful young woman," Robert huffed. "And there are terrible bastards running around this city. I have to do my duty as her godfather and make sure she's protected."
Everyone except Sansa stared at him, with Renly snorting at the hypocrisy after a moment.
"Wouldn't you be one of those 'terrible bastards?'" Stannis muttered.
Robert didn't pay them any mind, turning to Roose next. "So as Ned's best friend, I am pleased to know you are taking care of our sweet Sansa. Therefore, I'm glad to hand this gift to you! Enjoy!"
Robert took out a tiny box and shoved it towards Roose, who grabbed it uncertainly. Then he stared at the box, while he contemplated murder.
Stannis would help him, he was sure.
"Oh my Gods, Robert! You did not just give Roose a box of condoms!" Renly literally screeched.
"Why not?" Robert asked hotly. "He's a guy. He's got needs! Of course he'll be bringing around hot women into the loft, so preparedness! Plus he's going to be around our beautiful Sansa, so other women are going to be an essential need —"
Sansa and Stannis had moved to grab hold of an arm each, holding him still and making him vaguely realize he'd taken a step towards Robert.
"Why don't we get that toaster oven set up?" Stannis suggested nervously.
Sansa agreed immediately. "Great idea! Come on, Roose."
"Hey! I was being considerate! We men need to stick up for each other —I even made sure to buy the XL size —"
"There was that viaduct I can dump his body at," Roose muttered to himself.
Stannis and Sansa cast worried looks at each other.
Glad that the Baratheon brothers had managed to leave them well enough alone not too long after, Roose and Sansa went furniture shopping for the loft and managed to refurnish the place by the time the day was over. It was night again and this time it was their first, real night together, since last night they were barely awake and the loft hadn't even been ready for them.
But now it was already feeling like home and yet somehow things also felt oddly awkward.
"It's good to finally be settled in, huh?" Sansa breached first, watching him.
He gave her a half-smile. "It's good to be alone."
She laughed. "Yeah, Uncle Robert can be too much sometimes. Sorry he just kind of drop that on you all of a sudden."
Gods, she couldn't believe he really did hand Roose a box of condoms. She swore Roose was ready to murder the man right then and there, and was glad she and Stannis had noticed and had been of one mind, quickly getting a hold of Roose.
Sansa didn't even think Roose had noticed his own reaction.
"I'm sure no one would have said anything if I had ended up murdering Robert," Roose mused aloud and she stared at him with wide eyes.
He was joking, right? He'd always had pretty dark humor, so…
His face was completely normal and he still had the smile on his face, although the half-smile looked very strange now.
"Roose, I really don't want to hire a lawyer to keep you out of prison," she deadpanned and his strange smile widened.
"You know Stannis and Renly wouldn't have minded or said a thing."
"I would mind and will say something."
"Really?"
Sansa gave him a bland look and he sighed, actually shrugging and almost looking like he was pouting.
"I just took a shower, so if you want it, shower's free," she told him and he nodded, heading that way.
Sansa furrowed her eyebrows together and looked at herself, looking at her camisole and short shorts. Maiden, she suddenly felt like her clothes were way too small!
She'd never had a problem with them before, had worn the same kind of clothes at home without care and had never felt bothered by them. But now she was sharing space with Roose and was suddenly very, very aware of what she was wearing and feeling self-conscious for once.
She went back into her room and searched through drawers for more night clothes or something comfy, but they were all around the same kind and she resigned herself to the fact that she would be baring more skin than she'd ever had in front of Roose.
Right? She didn't think she'd ever displayed so much skin, but she'd never really thought of it before…Then again, she'd never stayed in a confined space, alone with him either…This was different than all the other times because it was.
Going back out of her room, she heard a door open and she turned to the direction of the entranceway, stopping short at the sight of Roose coming through wearing lounge pants sans socks.
And without a shirt.
Oh. Wow.
Honestly, she'd known he was fit, but she'd never actually realized he'd had a lean set of muscles. And with his hair wet from the shower, and curling a little around his ears…
Sansa swallowed heavily, mouth feeling suddenly dry. Roose glanced at her, looking questioning.
"Sansa?"
Stuck on answering, she was relieved by the double chime of her phone, indicating she received two texts. Snatching her phone off the desk table, she scrolled her texts and was grateful for the distraction.
"Renly sent a breakfast invite," she noted before going to the second one. "Oh! So did Stannis."
She missed Roose's eyebrow twitching.
Started 2/24/20 – Completed 3/26/20
Omake!
The way the Stranger was cackling, one would think he'd lost his mind.
"Well…he is cursed, you could say," the Warrior shrugged.
The Father scoffed. "Roose Bolton brought it upon himself."
"Not that I'm not rooting for him," the Stranger smirked. "But yes, it's fun watching him spaz out in his own way in this universe…but did he really think we'd forgive the Red Wedding?"
"To be fair, he doesn't remember it," the Smith pointed out.
The Maiden frowned. "I thought we wanted them to be happier?"
"The Red Wedding cursed them." Almost all of them said in unison.
"Stannis had nothing to do with the Red Wedding though," the Mother pursed her lips together thoughtfully.
"He's still a heathen!" the Crone hissed. "A heathen should burn, just like he was so prone to doing last time!"
"It was more of that blood-haired wretched creature than him," the Smith grumbled.
"He went along with it," the Warrior crossed his arms in a huff. "He's as guilty."
"We created a world where we —"
"Reluctantly," the Warrior 'helpfully' interrupted the Father.
"Reluctantly decided to give them second chances, so it's up to them to do what needs to be done," the Father finished without blinking an eye at the interruption.
"And in the meantime, our beloved Starks live," the Mother sighed contently.
"And my Sansa is happy!"
"Our Sansa," the Warrior nudged the Maiden, raising an eyebrow at her. She shrugged and smiled sweetly.
The Crone cracked a wicked grin. "Yeah, happy alright. Look at her ogle Roose!"
"She's got plenty of time and opportunities to ogle him now," the Maiden giggled. "They live together!"
"I just know that Robert Baratheon is my Spirit Animal," the Smith laughed.
"We all know Stranger's Spirit Animal is Roose though," the Warrior snorted.
The Stranger gave a dark smile. "I like his humor."
"Is it really humor if Roose means it?" the Warrior muttered.
"Domeric and Ramsay are mine," the Mother surprisingly tacked on, smiling slyly with a glint in her eyes.
"Both of them?" the Father raised an eyebrow at her.
She gave a half shrug and continued to smile.
Started 3/27/20 – Completed 3/27/20
A/n: I finally got this done and out XD Now more craziness to go! Bwahahahaha!
Quick Points:
1. What is distance? Or geography? Honestly, the North/Winterfell probably should be days away, but I'm like fuck it XD Seriously, I didn't want to take up a whole chapter with their road trip…
2. There is lots of Roosa in here XD But since they live in King's Landing now, Stannis and Tywin got game on now lolol.
3. I spent an abnormal amount of time researching and putting an inordinate amount of effort into coming up with a name for Westeros' version of Mardi Gras (which I just decided to mash together with Carnival and create Carnaval Septem (Seven)). Pffft, I did that because Mardi Gras past and I'm like whatever, let's go imagination XD
4. Robert is my Spirit Animal. (Although Ramsay of this world is a close second)
5. The Red Wedding cursed Roose and Tywin. I swear it. And Stannis is a heathen.