A/N: The quarantine is slowly driving me mad. It must be really bad - I actually decided to try my hand at writing. I always loved stories that took stupid concepts and treated them seriously, so why not try writing a crossover between a depressing tragedy of teenage girls and one-fucking-punch-man? Lemme know what you think. Also, English is not my native language, this is my first attempt at writing, yadda yadda... you know the drill. I've put this crap trough several spellchecks, but even those tend to screw up sometimes... If ya find any errors or you think the fic just sucks, feel free to rip into me in the comments. Here we go, enjoy!

Dark clouds loomed above Mitakihara. The town was deserted, its denizens hidden away in shelters in anticipation of some seriously messed up weather. None of them were aware that the measures they'd taken would do little to protect them from the disaster coming their way.

One person remained outside - a dark-haired teenage girl wearing a strange purple outfit. She knew what was coming and has faced it countless times. And she knew she would stand here again soon enough. Homura looked around the familiar landscape.

Grotesque pandemonium that always accompanied the appearances of her old enemy was slowly taking hold over the empty city. A bizarre parade of bright, colorful creatures appeared out of nowhere and began taking over the streets. Massive buildings, designed to withstand everything mother nature could throw their way, began to crack and break, their upper floors floating away, carried by some unseen force. The sky was obscured by a nightmarish entity - a witch, the cause of all the chaos. All in all, nothing new.

A faint smile crept its way onto her face, her dull eyes staring at the gargantuan creature slowly making its way towards her. This time there wasn't much at stake. She did not need to fear for any of her friends being in danger... and she had something new to try out for once.

Walpurgisnacht laughed, and the horrid sound shook the brunette out of her momentary stupor. Faster than the eye could see, the girl retrieved a small remote from within her shield. Just as suddenly, a previously hidden missile battery roared to life, sending out a thundering barrage of projectiles towards a target too big for any of them to miss. The witch's attire was far too soft to trigger the warheads, yet far too durable to just tear from the impacts. The result was amusing - the rockets lodged themselves in the blue dress and carried the beast on its merry way towards a collapsed building. Only upon reaching their destination did they detonate.

The thing would get up, it always did. Homura knew this battle would not end with her victory, the supplies she prepared this time were far too few to achieve anything besides stalling the witch. It wasn't her goal anyway. What was important was testing out a new addition to her armory. Namely, an actual LASER CANNON that she managed to... borrow from the US military. She found out about the thing about five weeks ago. And in those five weeks, she tracked down the prototype to one of US's military bases, broke into said complex and hauled out several tons of delicate machinery, that was the weapon and its components. By herself. On her first try. Her fragile self-confidence needed any boosts it could get and pulling off that stunt certainly helped.

It was almost a complete success... The previous owners have spotted her during the heist and were understandably pissed off about a schoolgirl somehow stealing their expensive shit. It did not matter, this timeline was doomed anyway. The only reason she had the time to try such things was that she did not need to protect Madoka... since the girl was dead. When did the girl die? Well, five weeks ago, obviously. Her ward meeting her end so soon in a loop was a new low for Homura, and she needed something, anything to keep her occupied. If accidentally starting a global crisis was that thing, then so be it.

As for the stolen weapon, it was an interesting prototype. An old anti-missile defense system tweaked to pack far more power in hopes of being able to shoot down aircraft. It was currently placed atop one of the far-away buildings, producing a purple ray of blinding light, constantly focused on the monster's head. It had absolutely no effect. No surprises there, Homura was slowly starting to think the thing was immune to non-magical weapons altogether. Still... the machine was impressive. It managed to maintain the beam fixated perfectly in a single spot, even when the witch was being tossed around by missiles.

One of the glowing familiars accidentally made contact with the laser and was promptly cut in half. Only then did the laughing behemoth seem to realize something was amiss, sending out a few of her minions to investigate the source of its woes. That meant her enemy didn't even notice it at first.

"Unbelievable..." she whispered. The faraway light quickly dimmed, and then blinked out completely. Great.

Still, it was not a complete failure. The device seemed very effective against the witch's cohorts, and its targeting systems would most likely be able to dispose of the flying annoyances. Recalibrating it to focus on those would not be easy... Perhaps if she managed to optimize the process of obtaining it, it would-

"Oi! Is that flying thing bothering you, little girl?" called out a strange voice.

Startled, Homura turned around to locate the speaker... who turned out to be alarmingly close to her. Some new things showing up were to be expected. The current loop was derailed so badly that everything was possible. She would not be too surprised about the Spanish Inquisition showing up to burn the witch. But the figure she was facing was something different.

Before her was a bald young man. The fellow was casually strolling across the broken pavement, approaching Homura. Despite the surreal scenery around them, he did not seem the least bit shaken, his expression calm, even a bit bored as if he was used to such bizarre circumstances. The shiny dome that was his head and his unusual actions aside, the guy appeared as bland as they come. He looked so incredibly plain and nondescript, that his appearance somehow... looped back around to being completely unique.

There were few people, whose faces one would be able to draw in 20 seconds. Homura would bet her soul gem on being able to create a perfect portrait of him in 15. And she couldn't actually draw.

To add to the weirdness, the stranger was wearing something that vaguely looked like a superhero costume... One she would expect to see worn by a background character in a shitty low-budget movie.

Has her mind decided to start playing tricks on her by putting an imaginary superhero before her? A hallucination caused by her desperate need for aid? Was she going insane? Homura dismissed the notion, she trusted her psyche to conjure up a better-looking savior than whatever this guy was supposed to be, thank you very much. That meant the weirdo was actually real.

Just as she was about to answer (mainly telling the guy how stupid he was to leave the shelter), the girl received a gentle reminder - she was still facing the witch. A familiar has managed to get up close unnoticed and pelted her back with flames.

Despite her nerves being on fire, her instincts kicked in, and time stood still.

"Ah! Damn it!" she cursed and quickly applied some healing magic to her blistered skin. She was slipping.

The battle was over, it was time to retreat. That baldy could die for all she cared, even deserved it for ignoring the official warnings. Self-preservation was paramount, so Homura wasted no time putting some considerable distance between herself and her enemy, ready to wait out the cataclysm.

A few enhanced jumps were enough to put her too far away from the witch for it to care about pursuing her. Canceling the timestop she inspected her shield. It was time. The hourglass inside was done with its countdown and ready to be turned, resetting the cycle once more.

She started up the gears and awaited her next chance. As the miraculous device was powering up, she sneaked a glance at her far away nemesis. Walpurgis bore no signs of damage, and its shrill laughter could still be heard in the distance. She longed to hear it slowly die out, with her standing above its dying source. One day. She was sure of it...

Slowly decaying laughter was not what she would get today... but she would not witness the usual outcome either.

In the distance, the accursed blue dress of the witch was suddenly blown to pieces. No, the ENTIRE DAMN WITCH was blown to pieces. Massive gears that used to make up most of its solid body were torn to shreds, sending twisted shards of metal into the sky at incredible speed. Debris, dust and shattered remains of the monstrous entity formed a massive cone, that spread skyward, its tip pointing to the ground, marking the source of the destructive power that has blown the creature away.

The witch was destroyed, its laughter cut short, replaced by a thundering sound similar to a powerful explosion. What followed was silence and the unpleasant sensation of Homura's eardrums being ruptured. The time-traveler decided to voice her thoughts.

"Wha- How-" she sputtered. "What the fuck!?"

Nobody heard the words, not even herself. The same went for a quiet click coming from her shield, and the absurd timeline was no more.

Homura opened her eyes. She was in a hospital bed, a constant after a reset. Those first moments of a new loop were always the same. She would stand up, undo her braids, fix whatever was wrong with her heart and prepare to leave. All of this would be done while the girl's thoughts were occupied with berating herself and apologizing for yet another failure.

Not this time. Her body was deathly still, her unfocused eyes fixated on the spotless white ceiling. She wasn't even breathing - a blessing in disguise, it seemed, as it was the need for oxygen that caused her to come to her senses. She took her first shaky breath.

'It died. It actually died.' she thought and giggled quietly. The giggle soon became louder and louder until her small frame started shaking with full-blown laughter.

'It was dead. Dead. Dead. DEAD...' Anyone who knew the girl would be unsettled by the display of emotion. Were she in her right mind, she would duly note that the current number of people who knew her was zero. Conveniently enough, she was too occupied with laughing and deliriously repeating "DEAD" in her head to notice.

Her episode didn't last too long. With some effort, Homura regained her composure and calmed down. The events from the previous loop were still fresh on her mind, she had a lot to think about and not a whole lot of time to do so.

Walpurgis has been decimated in an instant before her very eyes, and she had no idea how. Hell, she didn't even know what destroyed the damned juggernaut. There was a lot that was unique about the last timeline and the brunette silently prayed to whoever might listen, that Madoka's death was not an integral part of turning the witch into a flying junkyard.

Still, what she saw was enough proof. There was a way to kill that damned thing without her friend getting involved, and Homura would find it. No matter what she had to do or endure.

She already had a few ideas and theories on what exactly happened, and more importantly, how to get it to happen again. However, planning could wait. She had an annoying white rat to kill - having Madoka ensnared by it this early into the loop wouldn't even be sad at this point. Just outright embarrassing. With that in mind, she hastily proceeded with her usual preparations.

Keeping the Incubator away from Madoka was always easy early on. The thing was merely watching her, waiting for an opportunity to reveal itself and offer its contract. Her friend's kindness often bordered on sheer idiocy, and that made her exploitable. It was infuriating at times, but that kindness was also the reason why she adored her so much.

A stray cat getting killed by a car, a crying boy that got lost, an old lady's electric wheelchair breaking down... small misfortunes that the girl would undo by unknowingly selling her own soul.

Luckily, those annoying events were easily prevented and Homura had plenty of time before the rat became a problem again. She knew Kyubey would not be easily deterred, and its methods would get more dangerous with time, but for now, Madoka was safe. Unless she somehow managed to kill herself by accident. Which has happened before... But even Homura could not watch her 24/7. Sometimes she just had to believe in her friend's questionable ability to survive and hope for the best.

It was time to go someplace safe and think. Which is why the magical girl found herself inside her usual apartment.

The location was still untouched by her magic, and it would remain that way for now. Even without her personal adjustments, the small flat was an acceptable place to live and she had other priorities. Namely, finally figuring out what the hell happened during the last timeline.

She retrieved a notebook from within her shield and began listing the possible causes for Walpurgis' sudden transformation into an aerial clusterfuck at the end of the last timeline.

Homura neatly wrote down the first option:

'Unknown powerful magical girl(s) found out about the witch and arrived to hunt her down.'

It was not out of the question. Outside help was something she tried to secure before. Her efforts were always sabotaged by the Incubator, and the rare situations where she managed to bring someone along, they would be far too weak to be of any use.

Things have changed, though. Kyubey has lost its incentive to ensure the witch's victory. The powerful candidate who could be swayed with power to stand up to Walpurgis was no more, after all. The red-eyed menace might've tipped off several powerful Puella Magi about the event and the possibility of obtaining a powerful grief seed.

Then again... In the early timelines, Madoka has already made her wish before anyone was aware of the incoming disaster. She was likely to die against the witch, preventing the Incubator from harvesting the energy it was after. It did not act back then, why would it now? It had nothing to gain, after all. Still, Kyubey's reasoning was often beyond her own, perhaps something else made it change its mind...

Whether the Incubator had any reasons to act did not matter, though. The most glaring issue with the theory was that the attack that took Walpurgis out was a clear example of overkill. Even when contracted Madoka one-shot the witch, the magical arrow merely set it ablaze, pink flames took some time consuming the monster. She has never seen Walpurgis get destroyed in an instant.

A large group of experienced and powerful Puella Magi might've been able to face the witch, but those of her kind to survive long enough to be considered experienced and powerful, always attempted to conserve their magic. They did not do overkill. With that in mind, Homura crossed out the first option with a single stroke of her pen. After a moment of contemplation she wrote down the second possible cause:

'Mundane military forces were on my tail after the laser-heist and have spotted, then used unknown means (secret weapons?) to destroy the witch.'

Walpurgisnacht did not need a labyrinth, the thing was comfortable doing its job in the open. It meant that it might be possible for it to be observed by normal humans. Or at least, it could be detected by normal humans with military-grade radars.

A magical teleporting teenager, whose face was no doubt recorded and identified - she did not care about getting caught back then - stealing top-secret weaponry would make said humans overly cautious. Prone to doing weird things, like investigating a strange storm, that just happened to appear out of nowhere over the city where the aforementioned teenager lived in.

The Queen of Witches is not known to manifest often, and scientific advances between its appearances could be quite significant. It would be entirely possible that modern technology would be able to detect her now. Especially if its users were already looking for something.

However, the idea of conventional armaments achieving what she witnessed was outlandish, to say the least. Even NUKES weren't up to the task of damaging Walpurgis. She knew that from experience. Last time she attempted utilizing those, the thing came out of the blast unharmed and radioactive.

Whatever was the cause was at least on par in terms of destructive power with a contracted Madoka. This meant that it was at least comparable to Madoka's witch form; a witch that the Incubator stated would easily destroy the whole planet in a matter of days. The rat never lied directly, so there was no way for the military to have an Armageddon Generator stashed somewhere in a closet since that meant they would be able to at least put up a decent fight, if not outright destroy the creature born of her friend's despair.

With a grumble, the girl crossed out the second option. That left the only other possibility she could think of - the bald lunatic that somehow appeared at the very end of the fight.

Homura purposefully avoided the theory, as it was the most bizarre one of them all. It also happened to be the only one she had no idea how to make use of. With the previous ones, she at least had a place to start from... but how was she supposed to figure out how to find and use a guy she saw for a total of five seconds? It's not like she has ever encountered anyone similar before!

A tough nut to crack, to be sure, but she had to start from somewhere. She put her pen to work.

'Bald male human(?) disposed of the witch. Somehow.'

Below the line of text, she began to draw a portrait of the man from memory. It was no joke that the guy's face could be put on paper in a matter of fifteen seconds. At least his unique appearance was something she was unlikely to miss.

The girl sighed and put the notebook down. The unknown baldy was the most likely candidate and the only one she actually saw on the battlefield. It was definitely an action of hers that ended up drawing the mysterious man from the rock he's been living under.

She would attempt to recreate the events of the last timeline... except her friend dying, of course. The day she would purposefully plan Madoka's death would be the day she would wholly lose her humanity.

Barring that single exception, Homura would do anything to find the mystery man. Anything to get him to cooperate. Anything to get rid of the laughing nightmare at the end of her vicious cycle. And anything to save Madoka. No matter what sins she had to bear.