Pressed into a threadbare mattress, voices muffled by mouths too busy detailing the map of each other's mouths. That's how Rukia and Ichigo spend their time these days.

But let's rewind to their most recent beginning.

The thing no one tells you about saving the world is that after, like months after, when your heart beat has stabilized and you stop looking over your shoulder every other second, well you get restless.

And bored. Oh God there's the boredom.

They are inevitable, like the flow of time. It's in the way that they start to look for ways to fill the spaces in between school and friends and family dinners all while navigating the tension between them. There's Inoue and Renji and other distractions from each other but ultimately they follow the tether that always leads back to each other. A crimson red that encompasses both the vividness of the sun and the chill of the moon.

Inoue often 'drops in' to do homework with Ichigo or takes notes on cooking from Yuzu and often her eyes cannot help but droop at the sight of Rukia in Inchigo's clothes. Or with Isshin's family stories that never separate his 'third daughter' from his biological children.

She has been determined in her resolve through it all so it's no surprise to Rukia when she hears rumours at school of Ichigo and Inoue with the words kissing and tentacle hands and even well suited passed around like notes in chemistry. There's even some pitying glances that flash her way at the beginning. Apparently them being vocal about not dating all these years was implausible to many who continued to ship them.

"Uh. Inoue asked if we could date. I didn't tell her no and she kissed me assuming I said yes. I guess I should have cleared it up with her but I forgot. Are people really saying that we're dating?" And he looks so unbothered by the whole thing like it's a misunderstanding about where to eat lunch that Rukia has to shove down the glee that's rising inside of her.

Instead she does what she does best when confronted with a chance at happiness and the feeling of being unworthy creeps in. It's always on time.

"Do what you want." nose upturned as if it didn't matter to her. "You have a future now and that should include girlfriends. She is clearly in love with you and I think you two would be great together".

Ichigo's head snaps back as if he's been slapped and she grips her hands together, nails biting into the flesh. The pain is familiar. It reminds her of what she deserves. They stare at each other for a beat, the tension so thick and poisonous it's surprising they're still standing.

He doesn't say anything, just walks away and it feels like there's a pit of unhappiness that he leaves behind after he storms off into the rain.

It's fine, she's fine. He was supposed to be with a human. That thing that she's not. This gigai isn't real enough to hide the fact that she's hundreds of years old and won't age the way he does. But it's still real enough for her shoulders to slump at dinner that night. Isshin and the twins pretend to not notice that Ichigo is wet and gloomy and that Rukia's attention is anywhere but there.

It's real enough to slide to the floor in the shower before bed.

It's not that she's not aware of the unspoken tension slash lust between her and Ichigo, she can practically taste the scene of berries and sunlight that they produce whenever they're together. It's her and him and them but not them.

Look, it's complicated.

She's basically immortal. And hot. While he's mortal. And also hot. They're stubborn and selfish enough to keep each other around even though they're too scared to go all the way. They're from different worlds and while they can pop into each other's sphere, it's not permanent. It can't stick the way that the cycles of living and death do. She feels herself fading to white, bleached and constant while he changes every second of his waking days. Time doesn't wait for him.

With every step into his sphere, she crosses the line between their two worlds, she feels the countdown start. It's all subtraction and division until the total hits zero. Then she's back being a lieutenant. A Kuchiki. Renji's…. Uh well that's its own complication.

The last time she was back in the world of the dead, Renji had been all nervous and bumbling. It would be cute if she wanted it to be but the truth was that her love for him had been a flame and a constant beating in the before. They're in the after. She doesn't have to ponder on what separates the two and neither does he.

"It's Ichigo huh?" He's not looking at her now. Her silence has said more than any words could say.

"Renji-"

"We had our time, that moment when I would have been the one in your heart. I told you to be a Kuchiki and leave me in the past", his eyes find her finally and her heart catches as she remembers the gut wrenching pain she experienced that day.

She had wanted so much to be by his side for the rest of her life like she promised all those years before in the slums when all they had was each other. He'd told her to keep her best foot forward as she stopped being next to him and started walking ahead of him.

It's strange how she forgot. Not her love for Renji because how could there not be love for her best friend and childhood friend. Especially after everything that they'd been through, Re: Saving The World. But she forgot that the love was less platonic and more soul mates, heart eyes forever.

It feels foreign in comparison to the bone-tingling, breath-stealing, hurricane that she feels for Ichigo. Like comparing a wave to a tsunami.

"I did this. I botched our future. I get it" Sighing loudly, his trademark Renji smile returns and Rukia tries to match it but she's all uneven, her face is probably a watery mess. Ruffling her hair he turns to leave her office.

"Don't be me. Don't miss your moment"

She watches him go and is suddenly terrified because what if she has missed it. What if Ichigo is already walking ahead of her?

Ticking clocks as loud gunshots echo in his- well their room. Rukia's in the closet trying to sleep. Ichigo's in his bed, she can hear him thinking and it's keeping her up. And just like that she's furious. She quite likes the transition from a depressed, heart-broken blend to anger because anger is something she's more comfortable with. It rumbles beneath her skin and the best way to deal with it is to argue with the person that makes her the angriest.

Sliding the closet door open, her glare falls on Ichigo who isn't even pretending to sleep. "I can hear you", she snaps.

He glances in her direction and he's cool as ever. "Hear me doing what?" He drawls.

"Thinking. Why do you think like an elephant stomping through a freaking jungle. Just go to sleep"

"Make me" and he smirks before rolling over to give her his back.

She sees that crimson red again and without thinking, she's vaulting from her closet to his bed, straddling him fist ready to strike.

He's not looking at her and she wishes that he were so she could use more of his behaviour to feed off of. This rush is slipping, quickly replaced by the feel of him throbbing between her legs. And oh. But she's here and her fist is raised and he's sullen so she does something rash. As she leans over to kiss him, she laments that all of her worst ideas revolve around Ichigo.

Of course this is when time actually does stop. Or it feels very realistically like it has and all she can hear is the sound of her heart trying to escape to a dark corner where no one knows she kissed Ichigo. His breath hitches and time starts again when he starts to kiss her back.

Hands framing her face, his body shifts from his side to his back and she feels more of him throbbing but it's right where it's needed this time. Right there and they're all mouths, teeth, hands gripping and sliding on warm skin. It's the most frenzied she's ever felt. This chaotic rutting of bodies, surrounded by gasps and whispered reverence.

Then she's there with a sigh and his teeth are biting into her neck as he muffles his own release. Her vision goes white in that moment but she gets trapped by golden eyes that keep her in colour.

She almost weeps at this.

Later after he shuffles out of bed, a warm hue that screams embarrassed spreads on his neck, Rukia huffs because she's never felt this sated before. Her gigai bones actually feel tired but it's a good tired. The kind that can't remove the smile off her face.

Ichigo returns with a towel for her and she pulls off her underwear, tossing it into the laundry bin before tidying up.

"Sorry about that, well not that. That was pretty awesome. I mean-I think it was too fast but I have never done that with anyone to know for sure". His hand is rubbing his neck as he sits on the edge of the bed and she can't help but think how much she fucking loves him.

"I haven't done that either." She rushes out.

"Oh"

"Yeah"

"I'll end things with Inoue"

Rukia does now remember that Inoue was in the picture. "Oh" She scrambles up off his bed and attempts to leave when she remembers that she's wearing his t-shirt and no underwear. While this shirt is long enough to hide her private areas, she would still feel self-conscious being out of this room without any underwear on.

Instead she tries to hide in the closet which is not her brightest idea but one that she's going to roll with.

"Rukia" she hears through the closet doors. "I've never thought about her romantically. The only reason I didn't say no was because I never thought you'd say yes".

"You mean you came all the way to the Soul Society and almost died trying to save me but you couldn't ask me if I wanted to be with you?" Her voice is sharp and

she winces because this whole thing is ridiculous. She wants him to be hers and hers alone. He's doing the right thing while she's hiding in his closet.

"Well I didn't see you asking me and you faced an execution for giving me your Shinigami powers"

Fair point.

She's deflated because he's right and well, she's also right. About everything. But he's also doing the right thing plus he gave her an orgasm so she should try to see things from his perspective.

The words she wants to say get stuck in her throat, they come out all jumbled and disjointed. She can hear his confused "huh" and then he's pulling open the closet door to climb in.

"Only a munchkin could fit in here" he grumbles and she scoffs before making room for him by rolling to the side and then on top of him. "Now what were you saying? I think it started with 'I'm sorry for being crazy, Ichigo".

She does not agree with this statement but she does understand the sentiment. "I'm not a part of your world", she starts grateful that she's turned away from his face. "You'll get older and older while I pretty much stay the same. I have duties that I can't neglect forever. I keep thinking about the future and all the ways that I'm ruining your life by sticking by your side. And when I'm not thinking about the future, I'm thinking about the past and if I missed our moment. That you might be walking away from me more and more every day". She trembles on the last word, feeling vulnerable in ways that she's not used to.

"That's bullshit"

"Ichigo"

"You sound scared Rukia and I understand that this is a new path that we're creating", his hand tugging her face until she's heads on with his golden eyes. "But since we met, we've been paving a new path that bridges these two worlds. You save me. I save you. We may fight and argue but home is here. With you."

"Yeah? Even if I say no?" She can't help but be a brat when he's so confident about what she's feeling. How she could have so many years on him and still feel so uneasy about love. It makes her teeth ache thinking about it.

"You can say no but you know I never listen to you"

They pause here. Both going over what they've said, making sure that the cards on the table are all the cards that need to be there.

"I want this" The words jump out of her throat because in all of her years of being Rukia, she can count on her hand how many times she's said what she's wanted to another person. It's not that she doesn't want but asking others for manifestations of her heart makes her palms damp and there's this instinctiveness to take what she's given. Who is she to want or desire or dream? She's still that thief from the slums at her core and you're too hungry for wants. You're too focused on needs.

"I want you"

He drags her up his body to press his lips against here before they both fall into slumber.

The next day is weird.

Karin notices that they're running late and finds them in the closet. Between her gagging noises, Yuzu's gleeful squealing and Isshin creating a sonnet on the spot about his future grandchildren, it's hard to imagine that the day can get any worse.

It does and it doesn't.

Rukia is called into the Soul Society during class and barely has time to send Ichigo a message before she slips back into the world of the dead. When there she's informed that she's permanently assigned to Karakura Town and that they've assigned a co-lieutenant so that she doesn't have to keep going back and forth.

It's oddly nice and she casts an accusatory glance at Byakuya whom she searched high and low for after being dismissed.

"I figured it would save me the trouble of having the yelp come here instead" His eyes are cold as ever but she's long learned how to navigate the depths of the ice and he's happy for her.

Rukia hugs him before grinning, "You're expected at Christmas"

His only response is to squeeze her back.

Ichigo on the other hand clears things up with Inoue who does not take it well.

He had taken her into an empty classroom and with all of the emotional maturity he could muster, he tells her that it's not her, it's him and that they'll always be friends if that's what she wants. At least that's what he tells her later after they run into each other's arms like it's goddamn rom com.

"Then she started yelling and I stopped paying attention halfway in between because her voice got very squeaky.. And I noticed too late that we had a crowd. At that point I wished for a Hollow attack but they never show up when you want them to."

Rukia interjects with "Jerks" before he continues.

"I pulled her to the side away from the gawkers because I am not a total asshole and I admitted that things had happened between the two of us. She slapped me and said (loudly) that she hoped we'd be happy together"

Rukia groaned into his shirt because now school would be buzzing for months with this gossip.

He laughs, "She totally name dropped you too"

They're wrapped up in each other on his bed but this time with the door open because Isshin finally acknowledges that they should at least graduate from college before gifting him with grandkids. So now there are rules and Isshin held a family meeting before dinner to explain where he put the new box of condoms. He tried explaining how they worked before Ichigo drop-kicked him to everyone's relief.

So now they have open doors and curfews and Rukia sleeps in a cot in Yuzu's room.

"We're bad people. Inoue has loved you forever. She changed who she was and put herself in danger to be by your side. She risked herself to save me Ichigo- I don't regret this but I do wish we didn't have to hurt the people we care about either"

They're silent, mulling over Inoue and Renji and hurting the people in your heart. It's messy, whether you're dead or alive it seems.

He's steadfast and stubborn when he finally says. "If it means being with you, then I'll be bad to all my friends". Pause, "Starting with Keigo"

She fights the smile forming at the mention of the biggest nuisance in their group of friends.

"Please can I start with Keigo?"

The unsettled feeling of hurting Inoue is still sitting inside her, as she kisses him, nipping at his bottom lip. It's not their first time kissing but somehow with Ichigo it always feels like a new experience. Like waking up at dawn to watch the sun rise. You keep thinking it's the same old sun but she surprises you every day with the many different ways to feel alive.

After some time, she pulls away content to lie in his arms. Hands clasped, fingers intertwined. She counts his heartbeat and for once it doesn't bring fear.

They've dealt with the impossible before because they did it together.

This would not be any different.