Author's Forewords: So I finally got around to watching Frozen II, and how about it, huh? There was a whole running theme of change, which extended to the characters themselves. Elsa now knows she's the "Fifth Spirit" of the Enchanted Forest, Anna's taken over as the new Queen of Arendelle, and Kristoff? He's been downgraded to Anna's mere trophy boyfriend.
Yeah. I'm in the minority, I know, but I still hated this.
I didn't really love Frozen II in general. And granted, everybody not named "Elsa" or "Anna" didn't really get to shine, but Kristoff stands out to me. He didn't do anything worthwhile. All he was there for was to constantly fumble with how he should propose to Anna. That's a pretty long drop from his former self considering he'd been introduced in the original as a solid supporting character who had a substantial role, and got to express his love for Anna. All of his little spats he'd have with her in Frozen II felt incredibly contrived, to the point of having her stupidly misunderstand everything he'd try to tell her. It was clear that they just needed to keep Anna as distant as possible from Kristoff so that they could exclusively focus on her relationship with Elsa. Having those two share their interactions is fine, but they could have at least given Anna and her boyfriend some believable dialogue. And then there was the fact that being redundant was all he was there for in the movie's sequel. He was portrayed as such a well-rounded and self-sufficient character in the first movie, even though he wasn't the star. Frozen II literally makes him say that he has no sense of identity or purpose without Anna's love. And just when I think it can't get any worse, somehow it did when I looked up an interview online with Jonathan Groff, Kristoff's voice actor. It confirmed that Kristoff doesn't even care about what being Anna's husband means for him. He has zero desire to become a king or to thus fully enter Anna's complicated lifestyle. He just happily complies anyway because he has to "support" Anna, the only thing that apparently matters to him now.
Sorry, but I'm gonna be "that guy" and point out that any major company would have been buried alive for doing any of the above with swapped-around genders. The plain and simple fact is that this was a hypocritically feminist move on Disney's part, and its seriously worrying that those involved with the movie consider Kristoff to be some kind of role model for young boys. He may have earned that by the end of the first movie, but by the sequel's conclusion, he effectively becomes the epitome of how boys should absolutely not carry themselves.
I've decided to channel my dissatisfaction into a fix it-fic. Kristoff deserved better, and that's what I plan on giving him. This'll be a story that gives him something important to do during that whole time where he just disappears after his big song. Something that actually lets him feel way more involved with the rest of the story and de-flanderises his character.
Given all the praise that Disney's gotten for his latest portrayal, I know that there's a strong chance that I've already turned some of you off from this story. In which case, just click the back button now. You're not gonna like what's ahead.
But If you're like me, and wanted a better showing of Kristoff in Frozen II, this one's for you.
So with that said, here we go.
Out of the Woods
Chapter One
After dramatically belting out the last note of his song, Kristoff glumly stalked over to a tree, leaning his muscle against it.
He still had no idea how he should propose himself to Anna. This was important. He had to get this right. Anna was everything that would ever matter to him. She was his entire purpose!
The mountain man was pulled from his thoughts at the noise of a bush rustling, and right after, Ryder popping out into view.
"Kristoff!" Ryder exclaimed happily. "That was amazing!"
Kristoff spared him a single look before groaning in defeat, gently knocking his head against the tree.
"Yeah. . .maybe, whatever."
"No, I'm serious!" Ryder insisted, approaching Kristoff. "I think you've found your proposal. You could just sing to Anna!"
"Singing won't work," Kristoff grunted, halfheartedly kicking a rock. "Nothing seems to."
The happiness in Ryder's eyes faded. "R-really? Nothing?"
"Nothing," Kristoff affirmed. "It's like every angle I try to approach this from just feels. . .wrong."
Sven trotted over to Kristoff, smiling sadly. He brushed his head up against Kristoff.
"I'll help any way I can, Kristoff. I want you to be happy."
After doing his falsetto for the reindeer, Kristoff smiled fondly at him.
"I can always count you, can't I buddy?" Kristoff said, rubbing Sven's head.
"Aww. . ." Ryder cooed.
But Kristoff began to think about that more than he assumed he would have. No matter what, Sven had been there for him. That was especially true at this point in his life, while he desperately needed a way to propose and officially become Anna's husband.
Kristoff felt a bitter pang in his chest.
Sven had shown such loyalty to Kristoff, even after Anna had come into his life. And how did he repay that? By shunting him aside for her at every moment for her. Kristoff had spent less and less actual time with Sven ever since he and Anna became a couple. As they became more serious, the most Kristoff would do with Sven were things along the lines of him asking to give the two of them romantic rides, and telling him to fetch things to "enhance" the mood for them before heading out on a date with the princess.
What did he take Sven for? Some servant that would help him make her comfortable?
Of course not! But that was how he'd treated him. His best friend.
"Honestly, you seem like you're perfectly happy right there with your reindeer." Ryder commented.
The Nothuldran's eyes widened, as he immediately regretted his choice of words.
"N-not in that way! I mean, I love reindeer, but I don't think anybody should be that happy with them, y'know?"
"Relax! I gotcha." Kristoff laughed, waving away Ryder's explanation. "Sven's been with me since the beginning. We basically grew up together."
"What'd you guys get up to for all that time?" Ryder asked.
"We got in trouble, mainly," Kristoff smirked, eyeing a sniggering Sven. "Heck, years have passed and we're still living a pretty eventful life."
"Running away from wild animals."
"Dealing with jerks. Standing up to 'em." Kristoff smiled nostalgically.
"Kristoff getting kicked out of places."
"Don't get all high and mighty on me!" Kristoff retorted, nudging Sven with a grin. "I'm sure all those tavern owners would cut me breaks if I didn't smell like reindeer."
Sven playfully whipped Kristoff with his tail for his comment, causing Ryder to laugh at the two.
"I can only imagine what it must've been like," Ryder smiled, running a hand through his hair. "He sounds like your rock."
Kristoff felt another sting of guilt. He swallowed painfully.
"Yeah. He is. But I. . .haven't been the greatest friend to him lately."
Kristoff saw Sven's expression droop. The reindeer had been hiding his pain for his sake. And at his admission, it was as if all of it finally came bubbling to the surface. He couldn't allow this to go unaddressed any longer, Sven deserved to be treated with respect. Like a friend.
Kristoff saw Ryder resist a step forward. He clearly wanted to mend things himself, but seemed to know that this was an issue between the two of them. Kristoff gratefully flashed him a small smile before clearing his throat, kneeling down to adress Sven.
"Sven, I've been treating you really crummy these days, and there's no excuse for that. I'm sorry, buddy. Can you forgive me?"
Sven hesitated, turning his head away from Kristoff. The mountain man practically felt his heart stop as his eyes widened in horror. Had he really lost his best friend?
All of a sudden, Sven pounced on him, knocking him over. The reindeer wore a huge smile, beginning to gleefully lick his face, much like a dog.
"I'll take that as a yes!" Kristoff laughed at the feeling of Sven's large, wet tongue.
Ryder gave a whoop of joy, giving a celebratory leap and throwing his fists in the air.
Sven eventually ceased his assault, allowing Kristoff up. His face may have been slick with reindeer saliva, but he was overjoyed nonetheless.
"Thanks Sven," Kristoff said earnestly, placing a hand on the reindeer's head. "I promise, nothing's ever gonna come between us again. Not even Anna."
Sven rapidly nodded, before allowing Kristoff to engulf him in a hug.
"Uh, Kristoff?" Ryder began, rubbing his neck. "I kinda want to say something, but I don't wanna impose, or anything."
Kristoff waved away his concern. "No, no, go ahead. What is it?"
"Maybe. . .you're better off without marriage. Just a thought."
Kristoff looked at him with an odd expression, one that Ryder couldn't place.
"You think I shouldn't propose to Anna?"
"W-well, you say it feels wrong whenever you try. And when I saw you with Sven there, you looked. . .perfectly happy, like I said. Maybe it's not the best option, is all."
Rather than lash out at Ryder's suggestion, Kristoff became sad, sinking down into a sitting position.
"Can't. I need Anna. It's the only way I can think of to be something."
"Don't say that!" Ryder insisted. "Think back to the days before you two met. What did you do?"
Kristoff nudged a leaf with his foot. "Well, I was an ice harvester, I guess. . ."
"There ya go!" Ryder exclaimed, excitedly gesturing at Kristoff. "You made sure Arendelle got its ice. . .before Elsa went and gave you a huge hand, that is."
Kristoff chuckled quietly. "It wasn't easy, either. And Sven and I weren't exactly rolling in riches from what the job paid."
Ryder winced. "Really? I hope you guys didn't have it too hard."
"Well, we did have to crash just about wherever we could," Kristoff smiled brassily. "But it wasn't that bad. We'd usually find some pretty quiet places to rest our heads. So it's no biggie."
"Then you know what to do!" Ryder exclaimed. "Go back to being Kristoff the Ice Man right when you get back to Arendelle!"
Kristoff took a deep breath. Anna had made an impression on him, but could he really allow her to dictate what his future looked like? She was anything but a commoner, like him. Anna was royalty, and royalty led a life that did not suit Kristoff's tastes. Marrying her would be accepting the role of a king. That was a thought that never failed to make Kristoff shudder as a child, and the thought still repulsed him as an adult.
This was his future, and it needed to reflect his desires, not the desire to simply be with someone else.
Ice was his life, and Kristoff decided that it was time to finally return back to it.
"Y'know what?" Kristoff said, rising to his feet. "I think I will. Thanks, Ryder."
The blond ice harvester extended a hand for Ryder to shake. Ryder looked at it quizzically.
"Who do I look like? Mattias? Bring it in!"
Before Kristoff actually could, Ryder threw his arms around him in a big, friendly bear hug. Kristoff was caught off guard, but hugged back, patting the young Nothuldran on the back.
"Kristoff the Ice Man. . ." Kristoff repeated, sampling the alias.
"Like it? My new nickname I came up for you." Ryder grinned proudly.
Kristoff smiled. It had an interesting ring to it.
"Well, I'd definitely get called worse if I actually did decide on marrying Anna," Kristoff chuckled, taking a seat on a rock. "Never would I have heard the end of it from those uppity royals running the other kingdoms."
"So it's true what the Arendellians say?" Ryder asked wide-eyed. "Royals can be jerks?"
Kristoff straightened his back, like a rod. He placed his hands behind his back and cocked his head to the sky, imitating the likes of The Duke of Weselton.
"Why, oh, why, would Queen Anna wed such a filthy, unsophisticated ape? Someone who has supported themselves carrying frrrozen water is no fit for the thrrrone!"
Ryder pulled a face, something between a smile at the impression and a cringe at how cruelly condescending some dignitaries could be. Kristoff could tell that he'd managed to educate him on how the higher-ups could have toward the common people. But he knew that Ryder would be better for having the knowledge.
"Not to mention the fact that you'd need the know-how to handle the bureaucratic stuff," Kristoff added, shaking his head. "I don't know the first two things about how Elsa keeps Arendelle afloat. Nor am I interested in learning."
"You'd take reindeer over politics anyday," Ryder happily nodded in understanding. He approached Sven, idly ruffling his fur. "I could have used you my entire life ago."
"The better end of the deal," Kristoff drawled. "That's how I see it. Being royalty sounds fun, until they show you how much work goes into it. Elsa let me in on that little nugget."
"The more you know, I guess," Ryder shrugged with a smile. "And this way, your folks'll be happy they'll get to see you more often. If anyone's bound to be happy with your decision, I imagine it'd be them."
Kristoff scoffed, seeming almost slightly irritated rather than anxious this time. "We can only hope."
"Wha. . .?" Ryder asked. "I-is there some bad blood there?"
"Huh? No!" The blonde reassured, waving rapidly. "Nothing like that. I had the best family I could've asked for. They're just. . .eager to get me attached to someone."
Ryder nodded, smiling wider and wider with understanding. Immediately after, he began to laugh out loud, hysterically slapping his knee.
"Oh, so you've got those kinds of family problems? No need to be ashamed, those are the best kind! I've got a sister, so I can totally relate."
Kristoff smirked, crossing his arms. "She's afraid her brother'll get stolen from her?"
"Abso-lutely!" Ryder grinned, making an attempt to casually wave. "And by that, I mean the exact opposite!"
Kristoff frowned, not following. "Huh?"
"Well, uh. . ." Ryder rubbed the back of his head, sheepishly grinning now. "She likes to joke around alot about how I'll never land a catch 'cause of how little I know about women. But it's nothing serious, or anything. Just how siblings talk to each other, y'know?"
A loud cry interrupted the two young men. It was somewhat distant sounding, but it was clear enough to make out.
"Ryder!"
Ryder smiled. "Hey, that sounds like her now. Speak of the devil, right?"
An unnaturally powerful boom accompanied the voice. Kristoff felt it directly underneath him.
"What was that?" Kristoff asked, instantly on his feet. His eyes widened. "Wait, is it the—"
Out of nowhere, Yelena tore past the two of them. She'd been on the back of a reindeer, with Nothuldrans following on foot as quickly as they could.
Honeymaren was the last to appear. Like the elder of her tribe, she'd been hunched on the back of a reindeer. Another one followed them, only slowing its pace so Ryder could mount it.
"Ryder, come on!" Honeymaren shouted, gesturing rapidly. "We were found by the—"
"Earth Giants!" A Nothuldran cried, dashing past them.
As if to be on cue, the enormous footsteps became much louder. One could have easily mistaken the loud noise for a cannonball being fired.
Worriedly eyeing the fleeing tribesman, she shot Kristoff and Ryder an urgent glance.
"Let's go!" She urged as she and her reindeer disappeared into the woods.
The thunderous footsteps got even louder, now beginning to shake the leaves.
"Ditto, Kristoff!" Ryder said, quickly hopping onto the reindeer that had come along for him. In less than a second, he was gone, too.
Only Kristoff and Sven remained, their only company taking the form of an Earth Giant now close enough to be seen just over the trees. There was only one of them, as it turned out, and it hadn't seen them yet, but that meant little to Kristoff. It was closing in on their location, and he considered it in his interest of abandoning this spot immediately.
Without looking back at the impending giant, the young blond swiftly mounted Sven. Immediately, the reindeer broke into a sprint, tearing down the path after the others.
"Make sure you don't lose 'em, Sven!" Kristoff shouted. "And whatever you do, do not stop running!"
Author's Notes: Well, that's the first chapter down. Did you like what you read? I sure hope so.
Like I mentioned above, one of the other things that miffed me about this movie was that it introduced all of these other characters that were trapped in the Enchanted Forest, only to barely go into them. Ryder was by far my favorite of the new additions to the cast, even with what little was shown of him. He was the obvious choice for the secondary character of this story, and It just fit together so well in my head. Sven may be Kristoff's best friend, but it was so cool to show an in-depth look of him bonding with another human. That was Anna in Frozen, but it didn't last since they upgraded from friends to lovers by the end of the movie. Kristoff and Ryder make such amazing buddies.
I spent this chapter restoring Kristoff's dignity and fleshing out his friendship with Ryder, but the next is where he really shines. See you there.